Taken from Pucking Around by Emily Rath. Feel free to change wording as needed. Themes really revolve around poly relationships, sports (hockey) sexual tension and found family
“Three platonic fuck buddies and a hyperactive dog. What could possibly go wrong?”
“But this isn’t just sex for me, ___.”
“Death by too much dick. And this is a death I mean to die over and over and over again.”
“You deserve every good thing in life. Don't wait for it to come to you. Go out and get it.”
“You can’t stop the bad things from happening—to yourself, to your brother, to any of us."
“Just call me Reddi, ‘cause I’m fucking whipped.”
“When you spend so long living in the cloud of your mistakes, it's difficult to see your way out of the fog.”
“So, are we good? We done here? You need this super weird conversation to go on any longer?”
“The first of you to refer to our relationship as the ‘pussy posse’ will be the first voted off the island. Agreed?”
“Fuck it. I’m poking this bear."
“Place yourself in our care, and we will never stop fighting for you."
"We will never stray. never waver. We will seek no exit. Love us and watch how we love you in return. One family. One unit. Unbreakable.”
“If___ is a Rubik’s Cube, ___ is a Bop It.”
"Rule number fucking one in hockey? Never touch the goalie.”
“Oh, she will protest. When I rip them out of those fucking jerseys and spank their asses raw. Come on.”
“Don’t worry, Pop. It’s just a little team-building exercise.”
“Seeing you in another man’s jersey? Well, it’s a rare kind of torture."
“Just slather me with butter and jam because I am so fucking toast.”
“Be still my cold dead heart.”
“Ooo, twisty and salty. Like a sexy, mean pretzel. My favorite kind.”
“Trust me when I say that no straight man on this earth would consider it a punishment to get an unsolicited tit pic."
“I love you too, but I'm too emotionally guarded to say it.”
“Oh, hell. Is this a love triangle thing?”
“Is this a gay pride thing?”
“Honey, the majesty of my titties would end his sweet little life.”
“You’re worse than a Disney prince! What, the girl puts on glasses, and suddenly she’s unrecognizable to you?”
“But if you fall and die, I’m telling the police that a crazy woman was trying to break into my apartment.”
“He can’t help that he’s European.”
“He makes me believe that home isn’t a place. It’s a feeling. Home is being in his arms.”
“You know, for a Sagittarius, you make a really great Scorpio.”
“___ likes peppermint mochas because he’s fucking psychotic.”
“___ is coming out. I’m bi and I’m poly and I’ve never been happier in my life. That’s gotta mean something, right?”
“I may be a horny little horndog after three men at once, but I draw the line at public indecency.”
“Baby, I am so fucking in love with you. I swear to god, you’re it for me. I love you more than I love sushi. More than I love coffee.”
“What kind of psycho drinks peppermint mocha in the middle of summer?”
“Metamour, it’s the polyamorous term for the platonic partner of your partner.”
“Yeah. And you must be the Tweedle Dumbass of the group.”
“You really do wanna get murdered tonight, don’t you?”
“Will you shut up about orgies? This is a family fun day at the beach. Emphasis on family.”