Hiya! I'm Alyxx, dog trainer extraordinaire! Lmao just kidding. I'm just a regular (disabled) guy owner training a service dog and hobby dog trainer. I've also completed a dog training certificate, so technically I am an authority on the subject. Will be posting musings, tips, and general advice, in addition to the kernels of wisdom Iāve acquired over the past three years training my dogs to be helpers along with treasured members of the family.
if you enjoy the content here, consider supporting me on kofi here
My aunt and uncle are up from Texas, to visit my uncles brother who has pancreatic cancer. Not a great time for any of us, and with covid only one person is allowed to visit per day. Works out for my aunt because she can visit all of her family with the extra time. Itās also a good opportunity to work with Har a bit on strange humans in her home. Yesterday she was in her kennel while they were over; I wasnāt up to bringing her out and it was only a couple of hours so it wasnāt too bad for her to be in her kennel for the duration. Today they came over around 2pm or so, and so Har needed to have a potty break at the very least.
The first thing we did, my dad was helping at this point because I was in the kitchen, was being her out on a leash, on the other side of the pen fencing we use to subdivide the living room for her potty break. She was not too pleased to see the strangers, we had a bit of growling but her hackles didnāt go up and she was easily redirected to going outside. I decided that we could try a little free time downstairs, without her on leash but muzzled so that we wouldnāt have any issues with an attempt at biting if it came up. Before theyād arrived, Iād already talked with my parents about this, and Iād made predictions that she would like my aunt but hate my uncle, based on their personalities. We also had consent from my aunt and uncle for this; they were begging me yesterday to let her out so ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
I brought her down after dinner in her muzzle, letting her move freely so that she could go at her own pace up to the different people and watched how she did. She went straight up to my uncle, paws on his lap, asking for pets. She then went to my mother, then my father, and then got up on the couch with my aunt, where she started to bare her teeth inside the muzzle. She then attempted a bite, though with the muzzle nothing actually happened. I then sat down and put her in my lap to keep her contained. She really did not appreciate my aunt moving around and doing things next to us, and had several more displays of teeth and attempted biting. I worked a bit with her on focusing on me rather than everything else, about ten minutes where I had to manually turn her head and waited until she made eye contact with me to let her turn back. After that, I returned her to her kennel with a bit of chicken jerky for her effort, where she was much quieter about barking than she was last night.
I learned a lot of things about her tonight, and so while she is not anywhere near where I would like her to be, I still consider it a good exercise. Firstly, I think I now have a better understanding of what kind of people she will be more open to, and which kinds are likely to set her off. My aunt is a sweet little old lady, shorter than I am and even less imposing. My uncle on the other hand is fairly tall and is a veteran, which affects his demeanor. The difference though, and what I think is important, is he carries himself in a much calmer, firmer way. My aunt can be a little high key and is understandably jumpy around a dog who isnāt exactly friendly. My uncle however was able to keep his cool, and has worked with dogs like this in the past, and he made her obviously more at ease. Itās important that I make these observations, because picking the right people to socialize her to will go farther than spending more hours with people who make her uncomfortable. It was also eye opening to realize that I had it pegged wrong; I thought she would like my aunt more because she is much less imposing, but Har prefers someone who isnāt afraid of her and will remain collected and relaxed. Which, looking at it now, makes more sense because if sheās nervous, it matters more that the humans are calm more than anything else.
I also learned we need to work on her focus lmao. Like, big time. I need to get her in to see the vet so we can switch her diet and I can finally have treats for her again, because manually turning her head sucks and will take longer than if I have a way to bribe her. And letās be real, bribing her will make this whole process easier because she has little other motivation to work towards this goal because sheās happy otherwise by herself with us. I also need something to bribe her with to get her in the muzzle; our muzzle training in the past has been less than spectacular and itās a hassle to get her in one at this point. Iāll also be working on her spending time in it in non stressful/bad situations in order to make the muzzle mean less bad and more good.
I also learned that sheās not against new people. Sheās just really scared. Her little heart was beating so fast the entire time, and she was whale eyeing at me a whole bunch while she was sitting in my lap. But sheās not the freeze or flee kind of dog when sheās afraid, she is going to pick fight until I help her learn that she doesnāt have to.
Sheās been super cute now that theyāre gonna and she has free movement in the house again. Wants nothing to do with cuddling with me though, and I donāt blame her. Sheās been rolling on her back and rubbing her face everywhere, happy to be free of both the kennel and the muzzle. Harley surprised me a bunch tonight and it was a good learning experience for both of us.
Mary-Anne was the Dog Trainer and Kennel Head where I got Charlie and she had a theory about Dog Intelligence, which went like this:
Thereās four types of dogs, rated by how smart they are:
Type 1: Dogs that go through life on a placid river of blissful obliviousness.Ā Type one dogs are so dumb that they are unable to concieve that thier lives may ever come across any form of distress.Ā You look at them and see their minds are full of love, elevator music and Lint.
Type 2: Dogs that are smart enough to cause themselves problems. Where a Type 1 Dog might never notice that there are different kinds of flooring, Type 2 will notice that suddenly the floor has gone from CARPET to TILE. This is weird and new and POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS. Type 2 dogs go through a lot in life, able to percive the vast uncaring void of the Universe and are unable to muster the Mental Horsepower to make any sense of it
Type 3:Ā āNormalā Dogs.Ā Dogs that can tell the floor has gone from Carpet to Tile but understand that they can expirimentally put a foot on the tile and find out itās safe. Like the average human, they struggle against the senseless void but are capable of gleaning the occasional insight into the workings of the universe, like how the Tile is safe to walk on, or that food happens at the same time every day.
Type 4: Bastards.Ā Dogs that can not only see and solve problems for themselves, but extrapolate from that data and actively improve thier enviornment AKA Cause Problems for everyone else.Ā Type 1 has never noticed the door.Ā Type 2 Is baffled by the door. Type 3 knows about how the door works and to get a human to Operate it. Type 4 knows how to open, close, lock, unlock, and slam the door in the face of anything they despise, like your other dog.
Type ???: Things which are allegedly dogs but do not act in a way that does not correlate to the priorities of any known canine. Dogs that understand the tongues of men better than humans do.Ā Dogs that sit outside at night, staring into the heavens for hours at a time. Dogs that eat anyong but organic matter.Ā What are these? Poorly-disguised aliens? Angels in the only skin that will fit thier anomalous bodies? Cats suffering fomreincarnation glitches?Ā We donāt know.Ā But they are still Very Good Boys.
So its time to talk a little bit about Harley. For reference, Harley is about the size of a jack russell terrier, though she weighs quite a bit more at 40lbs. When she was about six months old, and well potty trained, I took her to college with me, living in a dorm on campus. In the spring semester, when she was around nine to ten months old, she was attacked by two stranger dogs outside of the dormitory. There were no physical injuries, and I tried to continue working her, but there are some emotional scars that run deep. It resulted in her washing out of service work, having a bite record, and me dropping out of college to take us back home where we could be safe. Har is what I would consider āfear aggressiveā, meaning that she takes the route of aggression when presented with a stressful situation rather than a flight response. Itās not her fault, but it's understandably something hard to deal with. Iām hoping, while we wait for puppy, to be able to work with her a bit on this subject.
To begin this post, I want to talk a bit about fear aggression. I liken fear based aggression in Harās case to a little like someone who has PTSD, wherein something traumatic happened to them and now they feel things are out of their control and stressed about bad things happening. Not every fear aggressive dog is that way because of something bad happening though; sometimes it can be a temperament fault that can be seen from puppyhood. These dogs are often shy and skittish as pups, and if not properly socialized, may become fear biters when they get older. Har was an outgoing, lively pup and while we had some talks about resource guarding, I wouldnāt have pegged her in an aggression category based on her puppyhood alone. For fun, I used to put her kibble in cardboard boxes or plastic clamshells to bat around and destroy, whereas if we did that now she would cower away from the box or ignore it all together. But fear aggression is caused by the dog being fearful of something and not feeling like they have any other choice to get away from whatever is causing them distress other than to act aggressive and possibly bite.Ā
There is something to be said for watching your dog for the warning signs. One of the things that I did with Har, and I feel so bad now that I know better, was put her in situations that she was uncomfortable in regularly. There's little signs you can watch for to tell if your dog is uncomfortable with their surroundings, like ears being held back or posturing in a way that seems unnatural, tail tucked or being āhunchedā, extra drooling or panting etc. Most dogs go through a series of these reactions before becoming aggressive, it doesnāt just happen out of the blue. But what can happen, and this became the case with Har after she was attacked, is that if their boundaries are repeatedly ignored over and over again, that period of warning gets smaller and smaller until it almost seems as if thereās no warning before the bite/aggressive behavior. This happens a lot with smaller dogs, because their owners are so used to being able to pick them up and put them places, or position them how they want with little effort or consent on the dogs part.Ā
One of the biggest things that helped repair Har and Iās relationship was working on learning what her boundaries were and teaching her I would respect them. We started with ācome for loveā, which means that when I say that phrase, she has the option of coming to me and getting lots of pets and cuddles, and if she stays where she is, I leave her alone. Another thing weāve been working on is āpick you upā, which is something she doesn't appreciate as much but is sometimes necessary or useful to me as the human. Iām not 100% good about these things, they take lots of practice to get right, but Iāve seen her grow a lot just given what weāve been able to do. I get a lot more cuddles and love now that I ask for her permission rather than grabbing her and taking it. Autonomy is very important in a fearful dog and them knowing what is going to happen to them before it happens can do wonders for them being more agreeable to the things you need from them than they would be otherwise.Ā
The other thing about a fearful dog is that itās hard to get through to other people is that sheās ok where she is. I do want to try and socialize her more, so that when we go in the car its not as stressful and that we can be around other people without going into fear mode, but sheās honestly ok where she is right now without that. She gets lots of love from her select circle of humans, which includes my parents, my fiance, my best friend, and her old obedience trainer. She isnāt wanting for a lot of things, other than maybe going for a walk now and then, which is one of the things I want to work with her about being good on. Our neighborhood isnāt terribly busy, especially early mornings or late evenings, and I want to try her out and about once my health improves. But I honestly donāt see her circle of acceptable friends increasing, except for puppy. She did well when we introduced Athena, they bonded well as cohabitants of the same house and we rarely had fights except over the food box. Sometimes though, I get tired of guests of my parents whining that āOh just let her out, Iām sure sheāll like me.ā It gets old after awhile because she is a fearful, aggressive dog. She may not show that side to her housemates and friends, but she is not and probably will never be accepting of outsiders in her home. Currently, she growls and raises her hackles at the mere thought of the PT who comes by three times a week to help my mom recover from back surgery. Sheās always locked away from guests for this reason; I will not allow another person to be harmed, nor will I allow Har to be in her own home and that is stressed in an unsafe way.
Fear aggression isnāt typically something that is cured, but instead managed. Currently Har is doing well being managed, though she is a little bored if Iām being honest. I donāt have any lofty goals for her, or any real goals. I would like to just try things with her, for fun, to see if we couldnāt make her life more exciting and fun rather than spending most of the day lazing about the house or begging for scraps. My goal is to enrich her life, however that may be.Ā
Also, for reference, Harley has never bitten anyone in my house outside of me. Sheās tagged my fiance a couple of times in excitement, but never bitten anyone else outside of her record either. And the twice sheās bitten me? I deserved them every bit because it was when I was still ignoring her boundaries and I definitely crossed a major line. To me, bite laws, especially in the US, are too loosely defined and arbitrary. Where I live, any bite that occurs technically requires a police report by state mandate. I was recently tagged, or āchompedā, during a dog squabble at my friends house where I tried to break up the fight by going for the sharp end rather than the butt. (If you ever witness a dog fight, the best way to break it up is by having enough people to grab each dog and pull them apart by the butt. Iāve also heard cold water does wonders, but ymmv.) When I went to the closest urgent care, they wanted me to make a police report stating that I was ābittenā, which isnāt what happened at all. I did finally receive care, at a local university run clinic, with technically lying but not lying about the dog being owned by a family member that I trusted vaccinated. If I hadnāt done this, the entire household would have been put under rabies quarantine, regardless of vaccination status, and the dog would have a bite record, which I think is stupid over something like that. Bites often donāt happen because of actual malice on behalf of the dog. Some dogs are scared, others protective of their owners, sometimes it's just an accident, or even the human really did deserve it. But under the eyes of the law, all of them fall into the same category, and in my area it's three strikes and youāre out. Dogs are often euthanized because they get labeled āaggressiveā and ādangerousā by these rules that donāt grasp the full picture. And honestly? I think we need to accept as a society that sometimes dogs bite. It happens, and comes part and parcel with owning an animal, because at the end of the day, a dog is still a dog. Iām not saying that there isnāt responsibility, a dog owner should still pay for medical care and whatnot, and there will always be cases where the dog is a danger. But I think we need to have more grace for our canine companions, and an understanding that an animal is still an animal, and will do animal things because of that.
My friends dog got into a bunch of flour, and at their vets suggestion came and got the rest of the subq fluids that were supposed to be for Athenaās final days from me so they could use them instead. I didnāt anticipate how gut wrenching it would be to get rid of those, along with Athenaās kibble that we canāt use bc of Harās bladder stones. Iāve been sitting here bawling like a baby for god knows how long, just these deep, wracking sobs, over something that i canāt even use anymore. I still miss her so much.
A golden baby is in my future! I just got done texting with Athenaās breeder and I am officially on the waitlist for a new pup. I am 7 or 8 on the waitlist for the next litter, so thatās a slim chance but she is breeding an American x English cream cross litter this week and confirmation will be in about a month or so. Which means I could feasibly have a dog in about four months or so. Iām pretty excited, though I know as soon as I see their little face Iāll be ugly crying bc itāll look like Athenaās. šš
I didnāt think it was possible to miss someone this much. Like. Athena was my best friend, of course, but her first and foremost job was keeping me safe as my service dog. She was always with me or within calling distance downstairs, and now Iām just alone. Yeah, thereās Harley but she doesnāt really task anymore and is more a glorified ESA than anything else.
Donāt get me wrong, I love Har. But she isnāt Athena, and never will compare to her. Athena would come up to me seemingly out of the blue and just rest her giant head with those big brown eyes staring at me, telling me things would be ok and it was like I could finally breathe. She alerted to me being not myself before I even realize I was having an episode, was always there when I needed a cuddle or some kisses or to do DPT when I was really bad. She interrupted my spirals and kept me focused on the present rather than whatever was going on in my head. She always walked on my left side because my eye isnāt so good on that side, kept people from sneaking up on me so I didnāt get scared.
I know Iāll have to move on eventually, that at some point Iām going to get another prospect whoāll hopefully be as good as she was. But thereās a hole in my house right now, an empty spot where her kennel was, a chunk missing out of my soul. Grieving is a process and I know it takes time but I always thought Iād have my baby girl for the next time I was going through this, not that Iād be grieving for her. Two and a half years wasnāt nearly enough time with her, I feel so guilty for saying that bc most renal dysplasia dogs are lucky to make it 18mo but she was supposed to be here for a decade, maybe more. I shouldāve had kids, time to prepare for her sucessor and actually say goodbye.
I feel so cheated that I didnāt get any of those things. I wanted her to be the flower girl at my wedding, to take her to Disney and museums and all the places I havenāt been able to go since I got so bad. She wonāt get to do those things now, and I know ultimately she doesnāt care that she didnāt, I do. I care so fucking much and I donāt know what to do with these emotions.
Losing a pet sucks. Losing a service animal is like losing a child, if your child was also a medical device that allowed you to have freedom you originally thought was impossible. Not only did I lose my best friend, I lost what made me safe. I lost my independence and the safety net that meant people didnāt worry about me so much. People are worried about me right now like they havenāt been since I got Athena, tiptoeing around like Iām surrounded by glass. I feel surrounded by glass, honestly, like every move I make makes everything hurt worse, being stabbed by thousands of tiny pricks.
Iāve got....nothing, really at this point. This is uncharted territory for me as a trainer, because Iāve never lost a dog that was mine. At some point Iāll tell the story of how I almost lost Har, and how I had a breakdown but it was nothing compared to this. I think Iām going to continue updating this blog, tho idk how professional or training focused it gonna be. Thereās gonna be a lot of my grief processing on here. Iām also gonna be working on resocializing Harley, hopefully, in the coming months to get her ready for when puppy comes home. I still donāt have a prospect, havenāt been able to bring myself to call Athenaās breeder about any of this. Sheās aware of what happened, has been there for me through text but I havenāt been able to pick up the phone yet. Mostly because I know all I have for her right now is ugly sobbing and a request to get on her waitlist, which honestly can wait until this wound feels less raw. Iām gonna.......clean some stuff maybe. Or watch tv or play some video games. Try and occupy my mind a bit.
Athena passed at around 8:45 last night. She was surrounded by her family and in the backyard that she loved so much. We spent the day spoiling her rotten, she got lots is tasty treats including pasta, steak, and ice cream. She got to run off leash in a local park, and saw all of her favorite people. I couldnāt have asked for a better last day for my best friend. Thoughts/prayers/well wishes/good vibes appreciated.
I went to bed around one am today. Athena woke me up again around two, vomiting. I called the vet hospital to ask them about it, and about when sheād had her last antiemetic. They said that her last shot had been Saturday (lol) after admission and that it was very normal for her to have vomited bc of how long it had been. She shouldāve had another pill at three yesterday afternoon so twelve hours later it makes sense that sheād puke. Puking is a part of renal failure; I donāt know exactly why but itās one of the things taken into consideration about when euthanasia will be the correct course of action. If the dog is vomiting frequently and cannot keep down fluids and food, quality of life has decreased enough that euthanasia is probably the correct choice, however if controlled with medications you can kinda wait.
Iām trying to wait until this weekend for her euthanasia, though I donāt know if Iāll be that lucky. My mother is having surgery tomorrow, and will be in the hospital until Friday. Athena has been such a blessing to her as well, and I would love for her to be able to share in her euthanasia, however both of us have agreed that Athenaās comfort and quality of life comes first and if she declines majorly before my mom can come home we will go ahead with the euth at the best possible time.
I guess I wanna take the time on this post and talk about at home euthanasia. Thereās not always a service for this, though sometimes vets will travel to your home regardless of whether they participate in a service or not. At home euthanasia is more difficult during the pandemic, though my local service is still providing this option.
There are several benefits to at home euths. First, your pet will be in a place that they are already comfortable with, and you can usually pick a spot where they will be the most at peace while they pass. It saves you the trouble and heartache of traveling to a clinic and the logistics of getting your pet transported because there are no ambulances for animals. Performing it in your own home is often easier on you as well. Another benefit not often talked about is that if you have other pets in your home, they can either witness the passing or be allowed after your pet has passed to investigate the body and understand what happened. There is also often more dignity and compassion in home euthanasia, your pet will pass without having to go through an intake at a clinic or veterinary hospital and you can have them when itās best for you, rather than on a clinics schedule or as a last minute emergency. The service that will be taking care of Athena also provides resources for grief and mourning your pet, as well as suggestions of local resources should you need them. In addition to all of these things, like with any euthanasia there are many options for your pets aftercare, from home burial to cremation and urns and mementos that memorializes your pet.
I have personal experience with at home euthanasia already; it was how we helped my parents dog over the rainbow bridge last year. She was very old, around seventeen if the estimate of the shelter was correct, and her mobility had decreased to the point where she had very low quality of life. She had a very peaceful passing in our living room, surrounded by her family and after having lots of yummy treats. Afterwards, we were able to allow both Athena and Harley time to see her and understand what had happened to the matriarch of their little pack. It was so beneficial to both of them, while we did see grief symptoms in them, they seemed to fair better in terms of anxiety and confusion and moved on in a more relaxed way. We opted for her to be cremated alone so that only her ashes would be in the container we received. We also had them do clay imprints of her paws, which are a sweet keepsake to remember her by. We opted to not get a fancy urn for her, given that at some point I hope to bury her on my own land. Thereās is something to be said for being able to watch your loved one die in the comfort of your home; Iāve also done euthanasia at a hospital and while they did everything they could to make the dog comfortable and the process as easy as possible, it hurt a lot more because it was a strange environment and you could tell she was stressed because of that in addition to her condition.
With Athena I plan to do similar things as we did with my parents dog, I will have her cremated alone and get paw prints done. I also am going to try and get an ink imprint of her paw so that I can have a memorial tattoo done when time and conditions permit. Her euth will be slightly different due to covid, we will have to practice social distancing and rather than being in our living room we will have the procedure done in the backyard per health standards in our state. I think itās fitting though, to have her pass in her favorite portion of the āhouseā. She has spent countless hours in the backyard, watching the birds and the squirrels and bunnies, soaking up the sun in the summer and rolling in the snow in the winter time. Iām going to try and plan for an evening time, because the light is perfect around that time this time of the year and I want it to be as nice as possible. Itās hard to talk about these things, but I think itās important that we start to destigmatize the conversations we have around death, dying, and euthanasia in our pets because so many people donāt know about their options and how they can help their companion pass with dignity and grace.
I will try to post more updates as we go along, though I donāt know if Iāll be able to keep up or if Iāll be in a place where I can put my emotions into words. Iāve come to terms with the fact that Athena is dying and that there really is nothing we can do except keep her comfortable until itās her time. Renal dysplasia is a killing disease because the kidneys are malformed from birth, though you canāt always tell. These dogs never have good values in their lives, though they often tolerate the condition for a year or two before becoming very symptomatic. The fact that Athena is 2yr 7mo is a miracle, most renal dysplasia dogs have onset of symptoms much earlier and pass at around 18mo. I am so grateful for the time we have had together, and that I will be able to keep her comfortable up until the time becomes right to help her pass on. I going to miss her so much though.
Athena is in stage five renal failure. She is home from the hospital, on hospice car. We do not expect her to last long. I donāt know how frequently I will update this blog, seeing as Iām not longer two dogs one guy but. Shes here, home and safe, in her favorite napping spot. We will spend whatever time she has left spoiling her, and when it comes time, Iām going to go all out and get her a steak, a cupcake, and maybe some ice cream.
So, as per my last post on this blog, Athena is currently in the hospital. Her total bill for today is $1600. And Iām going to explain why to me, that is 100% acceptable.
Vet med is a complicated industry with a lot of problems in it for the human side of things. Vet suicide is one of the biggest unspoken problems that plague the industry, but that also extends to the vet techs and other members of the staff. Watching animals die every day, out of your control sucks, not to mention how it must feel to watch people have to make heart wrenching decisions about their pets because they canāt afford to help them. Thereās also the massive debt you go into for vet school, veterinarians have similar costs to medical doctors for humans, as well as vet techs to their human counterpart nurses. But the average pay of these jobs is well below their human counterparts, many vets only make ~70k per year, and your average vet tech making $15 an hour clocks in at $30k per year. Thats not a lot of compensation for the amount of stress they put up with.Ā
The biggest thing though that I think we as pet owners need to remember about the difference between human and vet med is that we can tell our doctors what is wrong, what our symptoms are and how weāre feeling. We cooperate with them, have the ability to follow their instructions without outside influence. Humans donāt bite their medical providers, nor do they claw them or otherwise try to harm them because they are being cared for. Animals require species specific knowledge and care, and theres just not a comparable thing in human med for that. Your vet knows a lot of things a doctor doesnāt, things that are specific to vet med that in my opinion makes their jobs a lot harder to do than in human med. They also put up with a lot of shit that their human counterparts donāt and you have to give the credit for that.
So Iām cool with how much Iām paying for Athenaās care. The average cost of a human 24 hour stay in the hospital is around $4000, compared to the $800 that Athena will incur this first night as we see how she improves. In addition to the human cost thereās also the cost of her medical care, how much the drugs they give her cost, the food she will eat, the use of medical machines to do imaging and bloodwork and to give her fluids. Honestly thinking about it all, $800 sounds like a steal. Sure, it's a lot to spend in one go, but medical costs donāt care about your financial situation or what you may have had planned for that money instead. You donāt get to chose when medical issues pop up, only how you deal with them.
This isnāt to say that youāre a bad pet owner if you canāt afford these things. Lord knows if I didnāt have the grace of my parents I wouldnāt have been able to even begin to start figuring out what was wrong with Athena, let alone book her into a hospital for testing and overnight treatment. But I also donāt think its fair for us to be angry about the prices of medical care for our pets. Vetās have a lot of schooling, a lot of money invested in their clinics, and they still have their own bills to pay at the end of the day. Thereās a greater conversation to have about medical cost in general, but thats not something to foist on a vet just trying to make a living. Medical care is medical care, no matter who is receiving it.
Iāve been to the vet today, sadly. Athena has been off and on not eating her kibble for about a year now, with it ramping up in the past two months with us having to bribe her with toppings to entice her to eat, from dog jerky to pupperoni to crackers and even some mac n cheese, however none of it worked for terribly long before she would start refusing to eat. Sometime last night after I had gone to bed and crated her for the night, she had an accident in her kennel involving loose stool and vomit. Its been a day.
Ignoring the clean up factor of the kennel issue, its very unlike her to make a mess in her kennel unless she had been there longer than 8 hours(which is very rare given that if Iām gone for more than eight hours, sheās with me lmao) or sheās sick. I crated her around 11:30pm, and my father let her out around 6am so it wasnāt too long. My girl isnāt feeling good. We switched her on Monday to a wet food, which she has been eating with much more gusto than sheās ever shown her kibble. I was wondering if it might be a dental problem, and with the coming out of both ends last night, I decided to take her to the vet.
Our vet is very old school, like heās been doing vet med since the late 80s when my parents first started getting pets. Heās also very, very cost friendly and hesitant to run any tests that arenāt 100% necessary in order to try and save his clients money. Today he immediately grabbed onto the diarrhea and vomiting, suggesting that she may have giardia, which is a parasite that infects the intestine. (Itās also a zoonotic disease, meaning it can transfer to humans. Yuck.) Sheās had plenty of giardia before, we live in a state prone to the parasite and its just a fact of the melting water and rain. I did insist on a mini blood panel, just to check her levels and see.
As of writing this post, the news isnāt good. Athena appears to have renal problems; there is something wrong with her kidneys. She has other hallmark signs of kidney disease, not eating, vomiting, and terrible smelling breath. At this point, we need to get her in to see a specialist and have more intensive bloodwork done. After that, they will hopefully be able to recommend a treatment plan for her. Oftentimes, they just need a diet change and will continue to live for many happy years. Or at least thats what the VCA says on their page about kidney disease.
Originally, this was supposed to be a light hearted post about how dogs donāt care about what your financial constraints are and that they will (dog) pile shit on like tiny little assholes. But it falls a little flat now, with her being as sick as she is. Sheās been lethargic and mopey lately, less inclined to task and more just looking to be loved on and pet. I donāt know how this will impact her working, assuming she improves with treatment.
Iām scared. Like, really, truely, deeply scared about this. Iāve already gone through serious heartbreak with one dog. Iām not sure if I can do another right now. Anyways, Iām gonna wrap this up with saying Iād really appreciate if you see this post, keep us in your thoughts, or if you believe in some higher power, offer us up as needing help. We can take all we can get at this point.
This was supposed to post last night and it didnāt. Mini update as of today: We are currently at the vet hospital; after looking at her numbers and talking with a friend who is a vet tech, we decided the best course of action was to bring her to the hospital. Sheās currently in exam, but due to covid we arenāt allowed in with her.Ā
Harley is a 3yo 40lbs black terrier mix, though if weāre being serious sheās just a āterrorā. I got her as a puppy from a local shelter who got her litter from a nonprofit down in Texas. We donāt know exactly what breed she is, but given her appearance we think sheās possibly a jack russel terrier mixed with either border collie or lab or both. Her main interests currently are food, chasing the various suburban wildlife in our yard, and snuggling with my mother. She has a tenacity for getting into trouble; her favorite āassholeā activities include trash diving, playing the in and out game with the backyard door, and doing parkour on my living room furniture and family members. Due to some things in her past, which will be covered in her story post, she currently does not go out for walks or meet new visitors, and is muzzled when we leave the house. No matter how much trouble she gets in, I love her to death and am so grateful to have her in my life.
Her current training goals include: curbing her jumping tendencies in regards to my mother and finding something to do with all of that energy
Athena is a 2yo 75lbs english cream golden, which pretty much means sheās white instead of the normal golden or red colors you typically see. She was imported by a breeder from the Ukraine around two months of age and was adopted by me at four months. Yes, I bought an expensive purebred dog, and I will discuss my reasoning in a later post. Athena loves attention, whether you get on the floor and rub her down, or sit in a chair and idly rub her belly with your foot. She has a fondness for anything ball shaped, especially if your willing to throw it for her to retrieve. Her favorite toy is a soft globe toy that we got her when she was a baby, though she canāt have it unsupervised because she tends to eat the stuffing. She is my current service dog, and I consider her functionally trained, meaning that except for some advanced work, she is a service dog and can be treated as such. Her favorite pastimes include laying on the deck outside in the sun, or if its winter, laying in the snow. Athena a has her CGC, which is an AKC title that means she passed a test of model dog behavior, however I haven't registered it with the AKC both because of the cost and personal reasons. She and I make a great team together, and I am so thankful that I got the chance to have her.
Her current training goals include: off leash training, perfecting crowd control in public, exit, and resocialization in regards to the mask requirements
Athena has been in a hard sided crate since she was a baby. However, lately its begun to be a problem, because for whatever reason it always smells bad and therefore makes her smell bad. I do get her professionally groomed about once a month, though its been tough to get spots since everything closed for the pandemic. The solution that I came up with, rather than waste precious spoons on trying to clean the cage with soap and water every couple of days, was to get her a wire crate, which would allow more airflow, and hopefully will make her stink less.
It took me a bit to get it set up, between getting it out of the box and together and the fact that we had a mishap with Harley and the crate mat(Suffice to say it had to be run through the washing machine already). But! Its officially up in the living room for Athenaās approval and use. I was worried that she wouldn't like it, having only been in hard crates that resemble cozy dens her whole life and now this crate is suddenly wide open and exposed. I did place a towel overtop, though that was more for my own benefit because I store most of my dog things on top of her kennel. As soon as she came inside though, and I told her that it was āherā kennel, she immediately went inside and laid down to take a nap. The crate is Athena approved at this point.
I took her with me when I went to pick up the crate from petsmart; we used curbside pickup so that we didnāt have to go inside which was nice but meant she didnāt get any pats or treats which made her a little sad. When we left for the store, I put her on a traffic lead just in case, but let it drop and had her follow me out to the car on her own. I am so excited that I am finally able to start trusting her with these kinds of things, though I probably could have started earlier with it, Iāve been too anxious about losing her to start trying until now. When we came home, I also let her out of the car without picking up the leash and she patiently followed me into the house like sheād been doing it her whole life.Ā
Iāve been ruminating lately on the fact that I need to learn to trust her more. Harley and I had a lot of destroyed trust in our relationship when she washed, and while its unfair to Athena, I canāt help but keep worrying that something similar will happen with her. However, time and time again I finally decide to let her have a little bit of freedom or to trust her to do things with me, and she proves 100% that sheās here for me and I can rely on her to do what I ask. So long as theres pats and possibly cookies at the end.
This post brought to you by a string cheese wrapper and my increasing frustration with the tiny hellion.Ā
Trash is the bane of my existence with Harley. I am a spoonie, meaning I donāt have a lot of energy to do the everyday tasks that other people see as non-activiies, such as cleaning up a room or taking out a full trash bag. So, my bedroom usually has a food wrapper or two secreted away in some nook or cranny where I hope that Harley wonāt find it. But she always does. And this is no fault to the training she went through, if I am actively watching her she will not get into the trash because she knows sheās not supposed to. But the moment your back turns, she dives straight in. Sheās very much an opportunist who relies on me watching her to behave properly.
With my trainer brain, I know how to solve this problem. Throw the trash away, and make the trash inaccessible. However, both of those things are hardddddd to implement and stick to with 100% accuracy. Theres always going to be a moment of weakness, where either I donāt throw the thing away, or that the trash is left exposed so the terror child can get in and sneak a few snacks.
Currently the setup Iām working with is that any time I need to throw something away, I have to remove a box that has been carefully laid across the top of the trashcan and replace it before I turn away. This is time consuming and definitely does not help when my brain prefers options that are single step. I donāt really want to get a trash can with a lid for this reason as well; having a barrier in the way throws off my rhythm and makes it difficult to consistently do the thing.Ā
Maybe a taller trash can would work? Sheās only about the size of a JRT, so theres got to be models that would prove too difficult for her to get her nose into.
I am also very, very tempted to be mean. One of the old school ways to deal with this problem is to stick a mouse trap into the can and let it snap on the unsuspecting dog, therefore teaching them through positive punishment to stay out of the garbage. Now, I would never use a mouse trap for fear of causing harm to a dogs nose, but there are other options Iāve seen floated, such as setting a bag of cans to fall when they get into the trash can. I suppose I will have to do some thinking and see if I can find a more āharmlessā punishment to see if it aids in resolving this problemā¦...
