The thing that surprised me with the new dishwasher is how much longer it takes to clean dishes compared to the 70′s model I had grown accustomed to. Progress in machines that make your plates shine means that saving time has taken a backseat to energy saving considerations, and in the case of my new stainless, meal cleaner upper, they can take up to 3 hours to complete their cleaning cycles depending on what options are chosen.
The one I always pick (and it seems to do just fine because I’ve yet needed to re-clean anything) goes for 110 minutes give or take. The best part of today’s machines, besides the money saved using less electricity, is the fact that they are very quiet when compared to their predecessors.
I bet you can’t hear it running.
Yet, at this very moment it’s filled to the brim with all manner of crockery, all filled with crud, that will be swished and sloshed clean, then heated to a bacteria killing temperature which, as an added bonus - guarantees they’ll be free of spots.
Of course you still have to load the damn thing and when it’s finished you’re sure as hell going to have to bend over and take the dishes and utensils out of the dishwasher and then put them all away in their respective drawers and cabinets or hang them from racks or place them on a shelf or something, so if you were thinking it was all roses and sunshine, this is yet another instance of you completely missing the big picture.
I see where this is going
You know what? I was being nice.
Yes, well I guess the joke is on me because being nice never pays off with you. Does it?
No, you don’t need to answer. We know what the fucking answer is! Don’t we?!
All I tried to do was tell you about the new dishwasher and point out the ways it’s superior to dishwashers of days gone by, and you stand there with that god damned smirk on your face. The look that tells me how bothered you are and how put out you are to have to afford me 5 EVERFUCKING MINUTES!!! for some perfectly conversation worthy tidbits about the
Heaven forbid I bother you with tales of water jets and blue stuff that you add to a little compartment to make the glasses sparkle.
They. SPARKLE!!! When. It’s. Done.
At this moment, I so badly want to go back in time and avoid your complete indifference to my new dishwasher. Just far enough to change this timeline where you completely ruined my day by sucking so bad at listening to a story.
If I had a gun, I would shoot the dishwasher and then myself to show you just how deeply you have wounded me.
It will be a cold day in hell before I ever talk to you about a well made, labor saving home appliance again.
