Perfect Little Freaks

TT: For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. TT: Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody. +++ DAVE: i never even stopped and thought about it before DAVE: the idea of what it would be like to have a mom DAVE: instead of a hyper-aggressive lunatic of an adult male guardian bg credit

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Seven: the cure is artificially flavoured doritos

The weekend is over and it's time for a totally unsurprising, absolutely, definitely, completely normal day at work.

Some stories say he went to breakfast alone, sat by himself in a corner booth for two hours and then left. Others say he was there with a teenage boy, unnamed, assumed to be a relative of some kind. But the largest proportion, mostly tweets and a BuzzFeed article, refer to Dirk by name and recap the trip to Denny's almost exactly the way he remembers it, just with the additional hyperbole found in all online news reports.

The comments on his own Instagram account, below a photo of his breakfast, overwhelmingly imply that Dirk was there with him, but there is no mention of him in an article he found in a copy of the Los Angeles Times he picked up at Starbucks on the drive to work.

It is all too much for him to deal with so early on a Monday morning, but he has not been able to stop; if nothing else, obsessively stalking himself has kept him from thinking too hard about the fact he still has not seen Karkat since Saturday night.

[aorange]

cw for dave almost actually working, dirk going to school, and some absolutely filthy hand holding.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Seven: the cure is artificially flavoured doritos

The weekend is over and it's time for a totally unsurprising, absolutely, definitely, completely normal day at work.

Some stories say he went to breakfast alone, sat by himself in a corner booth for two hours and then left. Others say he was there with a teenage boy, unnamed, assumed to be a relative of some kind. But the largest proportion, mostly tweets and a BuzzFeed article, refer to Dirk by name and recap the trip to Denny's almost exactly the way he remembers it, just with the additional hyperbole found in all online news reports.

The comments on his own Instagram account, below a photo of his breakfast, overwhelmingly imply that Dirk was there with him, but there is no mention of him in an article he found in a copy of the Los Angeles Times he picked up at Starbucks on the drive to work.

It is all too much for him to deal with so early on a Monday morning, but he has not been able to stop; if nothing else, obsessively stalking himself has kept him from thinking too hard about the fact he still has not seen Karkat since Saturday night.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Seven: were in a fucking dennys, have some self-respect

If you think your weekend can't get any worse (more fucked up), just remember, it can always be worse (even more fucked up).

Dave truly cannot recall the last time he took two consecutive days off work. It was certainly sometime long before production began, and although it was possibly during pre-production he is sure it has been longer than that. It might have been in March. The thought that he is falling behind, an impossibility when he is the one deciding the schedule, makes his skin crawl.

What he is certain of, however, is that he cannot recall the last time he went out on anything he would consider to be a genuine date.

He has been wined and dined, of course, and has wined and dined in return. There has been no shortage of acquaintances and industry connections who have tried to turn business dinners into so much more over the last several years, and he has indulged a handful of them, or more.

[aorange]

contains: various temporal anomalies, terrible jokes, and everyone wondering wtf is even happening.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Seven: were in a fucking dennys, have some self-respect

If you think your weekend can't get any worse (more fucked up), just remember, it can always be worse (even more fucked up).

Dave truly cannot recall the last time he took two consecutive days off work. It was certainly sometime long before production began, and although it was possibly during pre-production he is sure it has been longer than that. It might have been in March. The thought that he is falling behind, an impossibility when he is the one deciding the schedule, makes his skin crawl.

What he is certain of, however, is that he cannot recall the last time he went out on anything he would consider to be a genuine date.

He has been wined and dined, of course, and has wined and dined in return. There has been no shortage of acquaintances and industry connections who have tried to turn business dinners into so much more over the last several years, and he has indulged a handful of them, or more.

[aorange]

contains: various temporal anomalies, terrible jokes, and everyone wondering wtf is even happening.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Seven: were in a fucking dennys, have some self-respect

If you think your weekend can't get any worse (more fucked up), just remember, it can always be worse (even more fucked up).

Dave truly cannot recall the last time he took two consecutive days off work. It was certainly sometime long before production began, and although it was possibly during pre-production he is sure it has been longer than that. It might have been in March. The thought that he is falling behind, an impossibility when he is the one deciding the schedule, makes his skin crawl.

What he is certain of, however, is that he cannot recall the last time he went out on anything he would consider to be a genuine date.

He has been wined and dined, of course, and has wined and dined in return. There has been no shortage of acquaintances and industry connections who have tried to turn business dinners into so much more over the last several years, and he has indulged a handful of them, or more.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

intermission one: convergence

Way back, in the olden days of yore (2002), a little boy goes missing.

"Is this your wiggler?"

"My what?"

"Your wiggler, dipshit," the someone, definitely a someone, says, arms folded across their chest and an expression that could cut a man down plastered on their face. "Your hatchling," they try, exasperated. "A small version of you, your offspring."

[aorange]

fun fact: dave immediately begins referring to dirk as a wiggler and does until hes like ten lmao

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

intermission one: convergence

Way back, in the olden days of yore (2002), a little boy goes missing.

"Is this your wiggler?"

"My what?"

"Your wiggler, dipshit," the someone, definitely a someone, says, arms folded across their chest and an expression that could cut a man down plastered on their face. "Your hatchling," they try, exasperated. "A small version of you, your offspring."

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

intermission one: convergence

Way back, in the olden days of yore (2002), a little boy goes missing.

"Is this your wiggler?"

"My what?"

"Your wiggler, dipshit," the someone, definitely a someone, says, arms folded across their chest and an expression that could cut a man down plastered on their face. "Your hatchling," they try, exasperated. "A small version of you, your offspring."

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

intermission one: convergence

Way back, in the olden days of yore (2002), a little boy goes missing.

"Is this your wiggler?"

"My what?"

"Your wiggler, dipshit," the someone, definitely a someone, says, arms folded across their chest and an expression that could cut a man down plastered on their face. "Your hatchling," they try, exasperated. "A small version of you, your offspring."

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Five: that's almost like some kind of a fucked up inspirational pep talk

When the memories begin to surface, and not only for Dave, things start to get messy.

It has been so long since either of them slept during daylight. In the beginning of it all, early on in that first year they were together, Dave was still working his day job as a director of photography on various sets and spending every spare minute he could find directing, filming, and editing his own short films and writing webcomics and early drafts of what eventually became the first Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff script. He would occasionally manage to organise his weeks in a way that meant he had Sundays entirely to himself, buying them an uninterrupted minimum of thirty-three hours before he had to be back on set to start the routine all over again. They would spend those Saturday nights after he got home, at whatever time it was, on the couch watching old movies and staying awake until the early hours of the morning, talking, always talking, even over the movies and especially over each other, because the movies were never the point, not really.

[aorange]

fun fact: chapter five reveals that dirk had what is quite possibly the dorkiest, nerdiest eighth birthday party in all of paradox space

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Five: that's almost like some kind of a fucked up inspirational pep talk

When the memories begin to surface, and not only for Dave, things start to get messy.

It has been so long since either of them slept during daylight. In the beginning of it all, early on in that first year they were together, Dave was still working his day job as a director of photography on various sets and spending every spare minute he could find directing, filming, and editing his own short films and writing webcomics and early drafts of what eventually became the first Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff script. He would occasionally manage to organise his weeks in a way that meant he had Sundays entirely to himself, buying them an uninterrupted minimum of thirty-three hours before he had to be back on set to start the routine all over again. They would spend those Saturday nights after he got home, at whatever time it was, on the couch watching old movies and staying awake until the early hours of the morning, talking, always talking, even over the movies and especially over each other, because the movies were never the point, not really.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Five: that's almost like some kind of a fucked up inspirational pep talk

When the memories begin to surface, and not only for Dave, things start to get messy.

It has been so long since either of them slept during daylight. In the beginning of it all, early on in that first year they were together, Dave was still working his day job as a director of photography on various sets and spending every spare minute he could find directing, filming, and editing his own short films and writing webcomics and early drafts of what eventually became the first Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff script. He would occasionally manage to organise his weeks in a way that meant he had Sundays entirely to himself, buying them an uninterrupted minimum of thirty-three hours before he had to be back on set to start the routine all over again. They would spend those Saturday nights after he got home, at whatever time it was, on the couch watching old movies and staying awake until the early hours of the morning, talking, always talking, even over the movies and especially over each other, because the movies were never the point, not really.

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Four: i havent had a haircut that dogshit in years

First it was hauntings, then it was hallucinations. But what about memories?

"I said I need an hour," he mumbles, eyes closed, the lit end of his cigarette almost dipping into the water when he speaks. "So turn around and fuck right off back to where you came from."

"Without even delving into the fact that's an entirely new kind of racist of you to say to my fucking face, you know I don't have the option of going back there unless you want me thrown back in prison. Do you want to have me thrown back in fucking prison to be coddled for the rest of my fucking days?"

This time, he does choke, the smoke catching the back of his throat mid-drag, and the force of his hacking cough sends him sliding even further down into the tub.

[aorange]

tw for strilondes immediately backtracking opinions they insist are true, weird memory slips, and shampoo

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Four: i havent had a haircut that dogshit in years

First it was hauntings, then it was hallucinations. But what about memories?

"I said I need an hour," he mumbles, eyes closed, the lit end of his cigarette almost dipping into the water when he speaks. "So turn around and fuck right off back to where you came from."

"Without even delving into the fact that's an entirely new kind of racist of you to say to my fucking face, you know I don't have the option of going back there unless you want me thrown back in prison. Do you want to have me thrown back in fucking prison to be coddled for the rest of my fucking days?"

This time, he does choke, the smoke catching the back of his throat mid-drag, and the force of his hacking cough sends him sliding even further down into the tub.

[aorange]

tw for strilondes immediately backtracking opinions they insist are true, weird memory slips, and shampoo

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Four: i havent had a haircut that dogshit in years

First it was hauntings, then it was hallucinations. But what about memories?

"I said I need an hour," he mumbles, eyes closed, the lit end of his cigarette almost dipping into the water when he speaks. "So turn around and fuck right off back to where you came from."

"Without even delving into the fact that's an entirely new kind of racist of you to say to my fucking face, you know I don't have the option of going back there unless you want me thrown back in prison. Do you want to have me thrown back in fucking prison to be coddled for the rest of my fucking days?"

This time, he does choke, the smoke catching the back of his throat mid-drag, and the force of his hacking cough sends him sliding even further down into the tub.

[aorange]

tw for strilondes immediately backtracking opinions they insist are true, weird memory slips, and shampoo

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Four: i havent had a haircut that dogshit in years

First it was hauntings, then it was hallucinations. But what about memories?

"I said I need an hour," he mumbles, eyes closed, the lit end of his cigarette almost dipping into the water when he speaks. "So turn around and fuck right off back to where you came from."

"Without even delving into the fact that's an entirely new kind of racist of you to say to my fucking face, you know I don't have the option of going back there unless you want me thrown back in prison. Do you want to have me thrown back in fucking prison to be coddled for the rest of my fucking days?"

This time, he does choke, the smoke catching the back of his throat mid-drag, and the force of his hacking cough sends him sliding even further down into the tub.

[aorange]

tw for strilondes immediately backtracking opinions they insist are true, weird memory slips, and shampoo

[aorange]

Flip It Timeways

Chapter Four: i havent had a haircut that dogshit in years

First it was hauntings, then it was hallucinations. But what about memories?

"I said I need an hour," he mumbles, eyes closed, the lit end of his cigarette almost dipping into the water when he speaks. "So turn around and fuck right off back to where you came from."

"Without even delving into the fact that's an entirely new kind of racist of you to say to my fucking face, you know I don't have the option of going back there unless you want me thrown back in prison. Do you want to have me thrown back in fucking prison to be coddled for the rest of my fucking days?"

This time, he does choke, the smoke catching the back of his throat mid-drag, and the force of his hacking cough sends him sliding even further down into the tub.

[aorange]

tw for strilondes immediately backtracking opinions they insist are true, weird memory slips, and shampoo