Elephant's eye

Lex parsimoniae

[ameriqan]

what do u look for in a boy

i look away

[shawty-bby]

thats right

[ad3-iyah]

[alsabrthepatience]

And be patient! Certainly Allah does not discount the reward of the good-doers.

[twoshoesandsocks]

“... Not everything should be taught. Many things must be lived”

— Messenger of Fear, Michael Grant

[twoshoesandsocks]

“We see a great deal of pain. Beauty can be an antidote”

— Messenger of Fear, Michael Grant

[twoshoesandsocks]

“People are free to make choice, even terrible ones. But when they make bad choices, when they do evil, then it may be that justice, fairly and ruthlessly applied, can show a person new path.”

— Messenger of Fear, Michael Grant

[twoshoesandsocks]

“We do not have the duty of changing the world, of subtituting our own wills for those of the people involved. A human deprived of freedom becomes something less than human. There must be free will”

— Messenger of Fear, Michael Grant

[twoshoesandsocks]

“Good and evil are real. But the lines are seldom neat”

— Messenger of Fear, Michael Grant

[twoshoesandsocks]

I think falling in love is good, so then you just focus to someone else not yourself

[quran-verses]

-

[twoshoesandsocks]

Can people just stop saying its okay when its actually not? I don’t feel okay

[neil-gaiman]

Dear Neil, I am a horrible person. How to be kinder, please?

Sometimes I suspect we are all horrible people. Or at least, we are human people. Same thing. We are impatient, judgmental, irritating and irritated, grumpy, easily offended and the rest of it.

So how to be kinder if it doesn’t come naturally? 

Fake it. 

Fake it a little bit at a time. 

Because there isn’t actually any difference between doing something nice for someone because you are naturally saintly and perfect, and doing something nice for someone because you are secretly demonic and trying to cover it up. It’s still an act of kindness either way, and you still made their lives better.

Smile at people. Say hullo. Ask about their lives. Remember what they’ve told you about their lives. Do small things to try and help them. (They will not know you are horrible, do not worry. They will just perceive that you are helping.)

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember that it’s more often stupidity to blame than evil, that everyone can screw up (including you) and what’s important is learning from that.

Think “What would an actually kind person do now?” – and do that. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail. Just be as kind to yourself as you will be to others – even if you have to fake that.

And good luck.

[twoshoesandsocks]

[twoshoesandsocks]

No matter how much you love someone—the capacity of that love is meaningless if it outweighs your capacity to forgive.

— All Your Perfects, Colleen Hoover

[twoshoesandsocks]

Another year is passing it scares me

Even the placeholder of tumblr post says "go ahead", im so triggered right now. Haha

2019 is going to over in 3 days and I started to get this feeling of... What is this feeling? Sad? Yeah im a bit sad that we 2019 is going to left me behind.

I think i have that "complexion" of being sad to be left behind. I am okay with being alone, im used to it. Because hey, I'm never be alone. I mean, okay, there might be no one around me, but i surrounded by other things, creatures, beings. I have my stuffs around me, i have the world im standing at, i have the air with me, even the microbes. They are everywhere. Even when they weren't, i still have my body and my soul. And I have God above all. I know He wont leave me.

And Time, it come and go but at the same time it still here. Why do we have to define time? Because of that definition, i am able to tell when the day is over. When the year comes to end and I kinda hate it because, again, it makes Time passing even when its not.

Ugh, life is so complicated.

Oh, yeah, and end of the year makes me more anxious of the time I have left in this world. Sometimes im so afraid of running out of time i feel like crying and just terrified. Like right now.

[twoshoesandsocks]

"If you want to understand what’s going on inside someone else’s head, sometimes you need to have a conversation with them."

— Liminal Thinking, Dave Gray

[twoshoesandsocks]

What is love, really?

I rarely talk about this matter because I don't have idea what this is actually.

I had one or two crush on guy, and myb lots of admiration on the species.

But love?

Its hard to grasp on the meaning of this feeling. How is it different from crush? Or a mere admiration? How is it different with all those feeling I had to others? Was that all love? I thought love should be something special. A rare feelings which when it comes, you will feel the world brighten up, the flowers bloom, the sky clears and the birds sing. I thought love is special and when it hits you, you will be the luckiest person on earth.

Today i let myself drown into realization that love is not as beautiful as they sang on the song. Love is struggle, a challenge and sometimes a burden. Love is not always beautiful. Its hard, even harder when you are keeping it in silence.

Not so long ago I had a feeling towards this man. The feeling grew exponentially until it hits a point that I can no longer contain it. I had to let it go, tell him about it. It hurts a lot to keep it down, i still remember the feeling till this day. But I didn't do it. I let the feeling sank and calm my nerve. It worked. I am now a master of keeping my feelings hide into the deepest pit of the heart.

It was hard, you know, to contain it. I did everything I could even stayed away from him. Suddenly, we didn't talk anymore. And it hurts my heart even more.

One day i got a chance to talk to him my feelings indirectly. I wrote him, in old fashion, a letter. I told him how I admired him yet I dont know what to say to him. I just cannot be open without feeling being overstepped.

Later when we had a chance to meet again, he made an effort. Or I thought. I dont know. He tried to bring up topics, tried to speak to me and i realized that he is accepting me. Not in a way to accept me as a lover or something, he just don't hate me. And im happy.

On the same time, I'm bothered. He brings me comfort and practically become the person I go to when I'm facing trouble or talk about stuff i cannot say to other. And he listen he really do listen. Unlike everyone else. But, that makes the feeling that i would call love floating again. Sneaking up to the surface in a slow motion.

Now i do not know what am i suppose to do. If all the feelings have reached the top, then i am sure I'm not gonna be as strong as i was and im scared of it.

Thus, love is hard if you try to keep it to yourself.

[twoshoesandsocks]

"The world is an ugly place. We must live in it."

— Circe, Madeline Miller