“I have something important to tell you but can’t message u pls message me ” - accidentally reported you scam
“I love your story and want to illustrate it dm me at discord” - commissioner scam
“I saw your post looking for artists to draw (x) and would love to draw it it sounds like a lovely idea and im an artist” - commissioner scammer who DM’d you when you didn’t ask
“Did you send me this link for free tumblr premium?” - accidentally reported you scam
“ your account is limited please kindly verify at (scam link)” - verification scam
These ladies showed up at a little town pride with a megaphone, told us all we were going to hell, and made a little girl cry. I shall use my queer joy as a weapon.
New wave of the Diasomnia Quartet, this band of cousins are running the dorm with a tight fist and by barely being there.
Name & Age: Malgona 'Retribution' Draconia-Crewel, 18 (June 13)
Height: 190cm (6’3”)
Year & Class: Junior, Class A
Club: Girls Spelldrive Team (Disbanded)/ Film Research Club
Best Subject: P.E.
Hobbies: Theoretical Imperialism
Pet Peeves: People interrupting her naps
Favorite Food: Rubies
Least Favorite Food: Vegan alternatives
Talent: Organization
The second coming of Maleanor’s curse, Malgona seeks to become the antichrist her father failed to be. Naturally a terrifying person, she finds joy and amusement in the misery of others. Yuu and Malleus have worked very hard to ensure their sadistic nuke knows not to harm everyone around her.
Malgona is a bitter acquired taste in terms of friendship; luckily for her, she tends to attract people of similar temperaments. Even with her personality, Malgona is shown to be a very capable leader able to inspire subjects to believe in her. Of all of Yuu's children, she acts the most like her mother.
Unique Magic: What’s yours is mine, all in due time, Dragon’s Hoard. A spell that allows her to absorb passive and aggressive magic. She can store the magic and use it against opponents, effectively making her a living magical storage. The drawback of her immense stockade is that her magical attacks are limited in range.
Funfact: Is able to send out a ‘Period Ping’ that forces Charysa and Yuu to start their periods with hers.
Name & Age: Malathew Draconia-Crewel, 18 (June 13)
Height: 193cm (6’4”)
Year & Class: Junior, Class C
Club: Newspaper Committee
Best Subject: Art
Hobbies: Trash Reality Shows
Pet Peeves: His room being cleaned without his permission
Favorite Food: Paper
Least Favorite Food: Unminced Onion
Talent: Calligraphy
An unwilling martyr in the making, Malathew lives his life as he pleases. Seen as the most approachable of the dragon triplets, he's the unofficial diplomat/hostage negotiator of the Crewel siblings. Even with his bubbly personality, Malathew has very few he considers to be his actual friends instead of family connections.
While seen as the ‘responsible one’, he avoids most of his duties — royal and academic. He is only unable to escape when Malgona decides to avoid her housewarden paperwork, literally dumping months' worth of it onto him. An unwilling Vice Warden, through and through.
Unique Magic: Find them here, and find them there. Let my shadow reach across this land. Pins Pricked. A spell that allows him to find the location of any item or person on a map with a magically formed pin. The spell only works if there is a viable map of the area where the item is located.
Funfact: Malathew has eaten every love letter he's received; no, he never opened them.
Name & Age: Malicent Draconia-Crewel, 18 (June 13)
Height: 193cm (6’4”)
Year & Class: Junior, Class D
Club: Gargoyle Research Club
Best Subject: Flight
Hobbies: Swordsmanship
Pet Peeves: Missing out on things
Favorite Food: Sheet Metal
Least Favorite Food: Raspberries
Talent: Curses
Cursed with resting bitch face two-fold, Malicent is both the pettiest and nicest of the triplets. While he is more forgiving than his older siblings, he curses first and thinks about the offense later. Unless the crime is eating desserts he deems to be his, then you're stuck.
Considered ‘the spare-spare’ in unfavorable circles, Malicent is allowed to do and live as he pleases compared to his siblings; exploring the woods of Briar Valley being a childhood hobby. He still longs to be involved with royal duties, but only if it entails dealing with the royal guard. As the years continue, he's becoming more dazzled by the idea of being a knight.
Unique Magic: Frightening, lightning! A shield around my heart and a shock to start. Spectral Surge. A force field of lightning forms around him. From his admiration of Sebek, Malicent’s unique magic formed as a copycat of his. While the main function is to make a shield, he is able to use it to ‘flash step’.
Funfact: Sebek is his favorite uncle.
Name & Age: Beau ‘Vanvolt’, 16 (March 20)
Height: 175cm (5’9”)
Year & Class: Freshman, Class C
Club: Mountain Lover's Club
Best Subject: History
Hobbies: Archery
Pet Peeves: Being spoken over
Favorite Food: Shepards pie (Sheep)
Least Favorite Food: Whatever the fuck Grandpa keeps giving him…
Talent: Photographic memory
The prince of the neighboring kingdom, Beau grew up in Briar Valley fostered by his blood uncle and his husband: Silver and Sebek. Force fed tolerance and suspended between three different parenting styles, Beau is somehow undoubtedly the most ‘normal’ of the current NRC student population.
More a lover than a fighter, Beau's continued hurdle is his unwillingness to strike first. A learned aversion to conflict growing into a frustrating lack of agency in his personal life. He is Charysa's secret admirer and has a 100% chance of success, but still hasn't confessed — to the continued irritation of her immediate family.
Unique Magic: Wisps and wings, I foresee my dreams. Willow Waking. Shooting an arrow allows him to access the dream realm while awake. His time in the realm is limited, but he can use it to send messages, teleport to a new location, and evade attacks. As of now, he gets horrible motion sickness if he overuses his spell.
Funfact: Beau thought Silver, Louis (OC), and Sebek were all his biological fathers until he was seven.
New wave of the Diasomnia Quartet, this band of cousins are running the dorm with a tight fist and by barely being there.
Name & Age: Malgona 'Retribution' Draconia-Crewel, 18 (June 13)
Height: 190cm (6’3”)
Year & Class: Junior, Class A
Club: Girls Spelldrive Team (Disbanded)/ Film Research Club
Best Subject: P.E.
Hobbies: Theoretical Imperialism
Pet Peeves: People interrupting her naps
Favorite Food: Rubies
Least Favorite Food: Vegan alternatives
Talent: Organization
The second coming of Maleanor’s curse, Malgona seeks to become the antichrist her father failed to be. Naturally a terrifying person, she finds joy and amusement in the misery of others. Yuu and Malleus have worked very hard to ensure their sadistic nuke knows not to harm everyone around her.
Malgona is a bitter acquired taste in terms of friendship; luckily for her, she tends to attract people of similar temperaments. Even with her personality, Malgona is shown to be a very capable leader able to inspire subjects to believe in her. Of all of Yuu's children, she acts the most like her mother.
Unique Magic: What’s yours is mine, all in due time, Dragon’s Hoard. A spell that allows her to absorb passive and aggressive magic. She can store the magic and use it against opponents, effectively making her a living magical storage. The drawback of her immense stockade is that her magical attacks are limited in range.
Funfact: Is able to send out a ‘Period Ping’ that forces Charysa and Yuu to start their periods with hers.
Name & Age: Malathew Draconia-Crewel, 18 (June 13)
Height: 193cm (6’4”)
Year & Class: Junior, Class C
Club: Newspaper Committee
Best Subject: Art
Hobbies: Trash Reality Shows
Pet Peeves: His room being cleaned without his permission
Favorite Food: Paper
Least Favorite Food: Unminced Onion
Talent: Calligraphy
An unwilling martyr in the making, Malathew lives his life as he pleases. Seen as the most approachable of the dragon triplets, he's the unofficial diplomat/hostage negotiator of the Crewel siblings. Even with his bubbly personality, Malathew has very few he considers to be his actual friends instead of family connections.
While seen as the ‘responsible one’, he avoids most of his duties — royal and academic. He is only unable to escape when Malgona decides to avoid her housewarden paperwork, literally dumping months' worth of it onto him. An unwilling Vice Warden, through and through.
Unique Magic: Find them here, and find them there. Let my shadow reach across this land. Pins Pricked. A spell that allows him to find the location of any item or person on a map with a magically formed pin. The spell only works if there is a viable map of the area where the item is located.
Funfact: Malathew has eaten every love letter he's received; no, he never opened them.
Name & Age: Malicent Draconia-Crewel, 18 (June 13)
Height: 193cm (6’4”)
Year & Class: Junior, Class D
Club: Gargoyle Research Club
Best Subject: Flight
Hobbies: Swordsmanship
Pet Peeves: Missing out on things
Favorite Food: Sheet Metal
Least Favorite Food: Raspberries
Talent: Curses
Cursed with resting bitch face two-fold, Malicent is both the pettiest and nicest of the triplets. While he is more forgiving than his older siblings, he curses first and thinks about the offense later. Unless the crime is eating desserts he deems to be his, then you're stuck.
Considered ‘the spare-spare’ in unfavorable circles, Malicent is allowed to do and live as he pleases compared to his siblings; exploring the woods of Briar Valley being a childhood hobby. He still longs to be involved with royal duties, but only if it entails dealing with the royal guard. As the years continue, he's becoming more dazzled by the idea of being a knight.
Unique Magic: Frightening, lightning! A shield around my heart and a shock to start. Spectral Surge. A force field of lightning forms around him. From his admiration of Sebek, Malicent’s unique magic formed as a copycat of his. While the main function is to make a shield, he is able to use it to ‘flash step’.
Funfact: Sebek is his favorite uncle.
Name & Age: Beau ‘Vanvolt’, 16 (March 20)
Height: 175cm (5’9”)
Year & Class: Freshman, Class C
Club: Mountain Lover's Club
Best Subject: History
Hobbies: Archery
Pet Peeves: Being spoken over
Favorite Food: Shepards pie (Sheep)
Least Favorite Food: Whatever the fuck Grandpa keeps giving him…
Talent: Photographic memory
The prince of the neighboring kingdom, Beau grew up in Briar Valley fostered by his blood uncle and his husband: Silver and Sebek. Force fed tolerance and suspended between three different parenting styles, Beau is somehow undoubtedly the most ‘normal’ of the current NRC student population.
More a lover than a fighter, Beau's continued hurdle is his unwillingness to strike first. A learned aversion to conflict growing into a frustrating lack of agency in his personal life. He is Charysa's secret admirer and has a 100% chance of success, but still hasn't confessed — to the continued irritation of her immediate family.
Unique Magic: Wisps and wings, I foresee my dreams. Willow Waking. Shooting an arrow allows him to access the dream realm while awake. His time in the realm is limited, but he can use it to send messages, teleport to a new location, and evade attacks. As of now, he gets horrible motion sickness if he overuses his spell.
Funfact: Beau thought Silver, Louis (OC), and Sebek were all his biological fathers until he was seven.
The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?
A/N: Hello all, and a happy Father's Day, again! Once again, I will be flinging my Fankids at you guys! Now with new children for some pairings! But also, if you wanna learn more about them, don't hesitate to send in an ask, enjoy!
Warnings: Near and Dropping of Children
Pairings: YuuxMalleusxAzulxJamil, RiddlexFloyd, TreyxJade, CaterxIdia, AcexDeucexJackxEpel, LeonaxRuggie, VilxRook, SebekxSilver
Word Count: 4.1 K (Each ficlet is around 300-400 words)
Last Year's Fic
Riddle + Floyd
Riddle glared up at his husband, the merfolk standing on the roof of their garage. That had actually become fairly normal since moving in — Floyd being fascinated by the idea of home upkeep for some reason (It was cleaning the gutters mostly.)
The reason he was glaring was the fact Floyd was standing on the roof with a painted pumpkin under one arm and their six-year-old child in the other.
Riddle folds his arms, unblinking as he questions, “What do you think you're doing with our son?”
“...” Floyd lifts Larimar slightly, “Oh, he's just hanging out. We're gonna drop this pumpkin off the roof and see how it splatters.”
“No!? You are not!?” Riddle yells, gesturing to the pristine asphalt of their driveway and the sidewalk, “You're going to make a mess of pumpkin innards all over the place.”
“Calm down, it's hollow-”
“Full of BLOOD AND GUTS!” Larimar squeals, slapping and trying to shove the pumpkin from Floyd's hand.
“...” Riddle raises a single eyebrow.
“Ugh, way to blow the surprise, guppy. Yeah, we wanted to see what it'd be like if someone fell off the roof. Lari thinks their head would explode, so we're testing it. All science-like; it's educational-”
“Drop it!” Riddle hisses, pointing at the two, “Drop it right now and come down from there! Both of you!”
Smiling, Floyd holds the pumpkin out farther, “Drop it~?” But Riddle's resulting screech makes him groan, “Calm down. Fine, here-” Floyd's expression balks, realizing a second too late he had just casually tossed Larimar instead of the pumpkin.
“Larimar!” Riddle all but screamed. He lunges, barely catching the giggling child in his arms before stumbling into their rose bushes.
…
Riddle stares up at his husband, Larimar still laughing on his chest, “Floyd. Come down here right now.”
“Nah, I think I'm safer up here…”
“You're not.”
Trey + Jade
“And this is a Purple Pansy Pollop.” Jade explains, plucking the dull purple mushroom with his bare hands, “Very rare for this time of year, but a common find in the Queendom mountains.
Icsac knelt beside the cluster, snapping a photo with his disposable camera, "Aren't those poisonous?”
“No, that would be a Purple Pandora Pollop. They only look similar, as the Pandora variety has a purple dusting on their caps.”
“Ah…” Icsac snaps a photo of the sky, looking around as he takes notice of how dark it was getting, “It'll be night soon.”
Jade chuckles, placing the mushroom into a container and putting his gloves back on, “Sunset is starting, so it'd be best we leave the mountain. Camera away and gloves on, Icsac, we'll have to do a little climbing on the way down.”
“Right!”
The trek down was routine as always, Jade for a moment annoyed that a bug must have bitten him if the tingle on his arm was anything to go by. It was on the last ‘climb’ before they returned to the hiking path, a small cuesta that Jade decided was too tall for Icsac to jump from so young. Using one arm, he anchored his son into slowly walking down the cliff to an acceptable height.
Jade’s eyes widen, his grip suddenly slacking as he watches Icsac drop down the remaining four feet and land hard on his butt. Icsac, a child, of course, started crying.
“Shhh. Shhh. There, there my fry. You're okay, you're okay.” Jade gently coos, quickly easing himself down the rocky surface as best he could as numbness spread up his arm. He takes only a moment to look into his bag, cursing under his breath as he sees the pale purple mushroom with two fingerprints on its surface.
Kneeling before Icsac, Jade used his still working arm to pull him up, “Shhh, shhhhhhhh.”
“You dropped me…” Icsac sniffles, betrayal heavy in his eyes.
“I did. I apologize. Turns out I was wrong, that was a Purple Pandora Pollop.” Pressing a kiss to the teary boy's forehead, Jade ruffles his hair, “Don't tell your papa and I'll let you drive us down the mountain.”
Icsac pouts, following behind his dad, “Do I gotta drive you to the hospital again…?”
“It might be for the best.”
Cater + Idia
Photographing a cupcake shouldn't be this hard.
Though in his defense, it was multiple cupcakes and it was for a stupid brand deal that he made an entire video for that he refused to scrap. But after the twelfth round of photos, they still didn't look right to him.
He hums, sighing and moving the photos to his ‘to delete’ folder, “Okay, Hera, let's try one more time. Maybe change up the placement and do some more filter work.”
The tablet in hand briefly pinged, a single emoji taking over the screen.
'🤬'
“Don't you give me attitude, missy. One more round, and if they still don't look good, then I'll let you and your siblings have the unedited pics to play around with, okay?”
'😒'
The tablet pings again before showing him the camera function again.
“Thank you~.”
Twenty minutes later, Cater groans, frustration hitting a peak as the thirteenth round somehow looked the worst. He throws his head back in his chair, arms swinging up and letting the tablet drop from his hands to press them to his face-
“Ow!”
“...” Cater turns around, eyes wide at the teary-eyed emoji taking up the screen. As it turns into an angry, teary pout emote, he frantically scoops the tablet into his hands, “Oh! Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry!”
“You dropped me!”
“I'm sorry! I forgot-”
“You forgot me!?”
“Honey, it's been a long day; cut me some slack.” Cater groans, holding the tablet close and pressing kisses over its lightly scuffed edges, “Papa is so sorry.”
“I have a concussion!”
“Well, let's not go that far.”
“I'm gonna get brain damage!”
“You don't have — okay.” Cater huffs, holding the tablet to his face and raising an eyebrow, “If you're fine, I'll get you that new premium tablet cover you keep sending mama.”
The progressively distressed emojis stop, “I'm fine.”
'😊'
“That's what I thought.” Cater chuckles, patting the tablet to his chest, “Little extortionist…”
Ace + Deuce + Jack + Epel
“Which one of you fuckers dropped my damn baby?” Epel all but growled, Beni in his arms with a barely visible knot on his forehead.
Jack quickly looked over from the kitchen, ears perked, “He hit his head?”
“No. One of y'all dropped him!”
Ace smiles, rolling his eyes and going back to his book, “What did he tell you he got dropped?”
“Yeah, actually.”
…
Epel glared harder at the now sheepish group, “Who did it?”
Deuce cleared his throat, “Okay, what did he say?”
“He walked up to me and pointed at his little busted head, saying, ‘Mama, dropped’.”
“That could be he fell and didn't know how else to say it!”
Jack points his gaze to the redhead, “You're weirdly defensive, Ace.”
Deuce follows suit, “Suspicious.”
“What's suspicious is how quick you two ganged up on me!”
“Is this normal yelling, or ‘my school counselor gonna win the divorce bet’ yelling?” Russell asks, coming back inside for the backyard.
Jack huffed, “I'm calling that damn school again.”
“The principal’s in on it too. What's going on?”
“Someone dropped your brother, and they won't fess up.”
“...” Russell chuckles, tapping his forehead, “If you mean Beni’s goose egg, that happened from an acorn.”
…
“Pardon?”
“Yeah, he was hanging around while I was doing mah yard chores, and I saw it happen. He went running back inside pretty quiet, so I assumed he was okay.”
“...” Epel pulled a face before sighing, “Yeah…yeah, that makes sense. Sorry y'all.”
Deuce smiles, shaking his head, “We understand. Lord knows how we all were when Russell first knocked his head into a table leg…”
“I'm gonna get a towel on his head. Come on, Beni boy…” Epel takes the confused-looking toddler out of the room, rubbing his back comfortingly.
“...” Ace looks to his son, “You dropped your brother.”
“It was…an accident.”
“Don't do it again.” Jack grunts.
“Look, you all should be happy I'm teaching him to lie by omission so early.” Russell snips back, grumbling all the way back to his room.
Leona + Ruggie
"You ever think about the fact we've never dropped him?”
Leona cracks open an eye, lounging on their bed with a snoozing five-year-old on his chest, “What are you talking about?”
Ruggie shrugs from his place lying beside the two, playing with the sleeping little lion’s flicking tail, “I mean, the fact Azizi has a perfect track record. Like we're not just dropping the kids normally, but accidents happen, you know?”
“Yeah, what are you talking about? We've dropped him plenty of times.”
“I — ” Ruggie pulls a face, eyebrows creased, “Name one time we've ever dropped this little fucker?”
“Just yesterday, he got dropped in the pool; we're lucky he knew how to swim.”
“...Yeah? We were doing swim lessons? I didn't drop him! He wanted to get thrown in the pool; that doesn't count!”
Leona clicks his tongue, a hand pressing over Azizi's head as his little ears fold down, “Pipe down, he's sleeping for once.”
“‘For once’ he says. Like he isn't the main one asleep in this house after you…” Ruggie mumbles.
Tilting his head, Leona continues, “Dropped him down the stairs.”
“We did not drop him down the stairs — are you talking about the kids surfing the old mattresses down the stairs? Because one: no, they shouldn't be doing that anyway. Two: that's not us dropping him?”
“Got dropped his first day in the house on the way over.”
“What are you — ...” Ruggie narrows his eyes, pushing himself up and into his smug husband's face, “You brought him home alone; I didn't even know he was mine until you dropped him in my hands.”
“...”
Eyes widening, Ruggie connected several dots, “By the Design, Leona! How many times have you dropped this kid!?”
“How many times have you?”
“None!?”
“Same.”
“LEONA!”
Azul
Azul hadn't felt this tired on land since it was his time walking. A disaster of an ingredient shipment in his mother's restaurant, the elder Cecaelia calling him to help, took nearly an entire week of continuous work to put everything back in order. The only plus of the exhausting week was that his darling pearl had the mind to pick him up from the water, their daughters in tow. She carried him into the house, all but dropping him onto the sofa before telling him to sleep while she had a shower.
And he nearly slipped into that long unhad bliss before a small hand smacks against his thigh.
“Daddy, hungry. Hungry.” Charysa calls, pouting up at her father as he lies boneless on the couch.
Scylar pouts beside her, pointing to the clock on the wall, “Lunchtime…”
“Hm?” He glances at the clock, seeing it nearly an hour after their normal lunch time, “Oh yes, of course. You girls must be hungry. Right. One moment…” he barely manages to get off the couch, eyes droopy as he shuffled toward the kitchen with two happy octotoddlers behind him.
He moves on muscle memory, gathering up ingredients for a quick pasta dish that should be ready by the time Yuu is out of the shower. but, nearly half an hour later, he stands at the stove looking at the pot of water that for some reason hasn't boiled.
A tug on his sleeve makes him look down at Scylar, big dark blue eyes blinking up at him as she makes grabby hands toward him.
He smiles, picking her up to his hip. “Yes, my lovely fry, what is it?”
The toddler doesn't speak, leaning over and clicking the flame of the stove on.
“...” Azul sighs, nodding his head at the mistake, “I see. Go play with your sister.” He says, holding Scylar out for her to swim off.
Yuu walks into the kitchen, toweling her hair. “Azul, we need to grab — You're not in the water. YOU'RE NOT IN THE WATER!”
Azul's eyes widen, just managing to regrip Skylar under her arms before she fell, the three-year-old in question tilting her head as though to say ‘What was that?’
Yuu rushed over, pulling the toddler from his stunned hands and guiding him away from the stove, “Ok, it's time for someone to take a nap.”
The twins both perk up, tugging on Yuu's clothes, “Nap! We wanna nap!”
“Perfect, you two can make sure daddy naps.”
Kalim
“Why are there straps on this?”
Kalim and Zayan sat on the stone floor of the newly empty guest room, a parade of unassembled baby furniture scattered around them while Zayan* had Ruby strapped to his chest. The tiger beast men raised an eyebrow, the pad of the changing table they were building in hand.
“Don't give me that look. Having straps on a changing table is strange!” Kalim huffs, lightly tossing the instructions away, “Let's put it together without them.”
The beastman frowns, making an X over his chest and Ruby with his arms.
“You can't fault me for not wanting them! I've never seen a changing table with belts on it. I'd feel like I'm strapping her down and doing something bad to her!”
Zayan sighs, looking to the side as though to state he’s never seen a changing table, period. The Asim compound didn't ‘need’ changing tables, as no surface was considered too good for an Asim baby butt.
Waving off his attendant’s expression, Kalim laughs, “Oh, don't worry so much. Here, put it together and I'll show you.” He plucks Ruby from the chest holder, cooing as he gently played with her snow white tiger ears and curious little hands.
Finishing the table fast, Zayan nervously held onto the excluded straps to the side of it. Kalim places Ruby on the changing table, the two of them watching the baby wiggle and feel out the new surface.
Laughing, Kalim gestures to the baby, “Now see? No straps needed — ”
Ruby rolls, going over the side in a single second. Two sets of hands catching her in half the time.
…
Zayan gives a strained look to his employer, slowly maneuvering Ruby back into his chest holder.
“...” Kalim grabs the straps from Zayan, laughing nervously, “Okay, maybe we need the straps.”
Jamil
Yuu's first misstep was questioning Jamil's parenting. As he had been a caregiver since he was seven, he claimed she had no reason to question him. She stated that wasn't an answer to why she had yet to see him put their son down.
He didn't fight her on the fact that JJ had been almost always firmly strapped to his person since infancy, even though he was coming up on six months. So he simply proposed she watch him alone for the day while he had some personal time. She can see the survival instincts of their son.
After his day, alone with his thoughts and the masses, Jamil leaned against the doorway with a smirk. Yuu was slumped on the couch, a babbling JJ laying across her stomach. He took notice of the living room, the coffee table moved from it’s normal place and pressed top surface to the wall, every blanket in the house spread along the floor and pillows aggressively ducttaped to whatever corner she couldn’t move aside. He clears his throat, head tilting in silent question.
Looking up, Yuu heaves a loud sigh before sending a smile his way, “Hi, honey. How was your day out?”
“It went well. I got coffee, took a walk through the park, and browsed a book fair in town. I even had time to go grocery shopping alone for once.” His smirk turns downright malicious, “How was yours?”
“Why does he want to kill himself?”
“I told you he was difficult.”
“Ok, yeah!” She gestures to their cooing baby, “But we can't just have him swaddled 24/7; he'll never learn to walk at this point.”
Jamil huffs, hating to admit she was right but saying nothing else, “Put him on the blankets and help me bring in the shopping.”
“Got it…”
Yuu places JJ on the ground, knowing the baby was safe to lie on his front. Or he should have been. Seeing how the moment Yuu's hands left his body, he slammed his forehead into the ground. A dull thud ringing out before JJ lifts his head and starts wailing.
“Buddy!?”
Jamil sighs, barely keeping his laughter in check, “Just go get the groceries; I'll handle him.”
Plucking the crying baby from the ground, he sighs again as he pats JJ on the back, “I can't tell if I was this shit at living as a baby or if this is from your mother…”
Vil + Rook
“He's going to fall…” Vil grumbles, staring out the kitchen window with an intense gaze.
Rook smiles, nursing his coffee before walking over to his lover's side. Looking out, he could only smile wider at seeing Finley climbing a tree at the edge of his playyard, “He seems to be doing just fine.”
Clicking his tongue, Vil spared a single glare toward Rook before turning his focus back to the blonde darling halfway up a trimmed spruce, “He's going to fall and break every bone in his little body.”
“I highly doubt that, my dear.”
“You don’t know that! He’s never fallen more than a foot; his bones could be fragile!”
Rook sighs lovingly, a hand to his chest and the other grazing his husbands face, “Oh, only you could craft a precious being of glass bones and paper skin.”
“...” Vil gives Rook his full attention, glaring at the teasing man, “I will have you know that that is an actual medical condition and you’re. Not. Funny.”
Chuckling, Rook places a hand on Vil’s hip, pulling the star closer to him, “Mon Roi, have you never climbed a tree before? As the boy's father — And veteran climber of many a surface — I can assure you, he is doing just fine —”
Finley's shrill scream makes both of them turn to the window, just in time to watch their child drop from the tree. Somehow managing to miss the fence separating the flat green from Vil’s sunken yoga area, he falls a whole floor level. Luckily, the boy seemed only dazed, staring up to the sky from the shrubs lining the meditation pool below.
“My baby!” Vil screams, sprinting out of the kitchen and rushing down the stairs with Rook close behind.
“He is fine! I'm sure he's fine-”
“You shut your mouth! You dropped my baby!”
Malleus
While Malleus didn't care for paperwork, he knew he had to do it — no matter how much his children pouted and whined for him to play with them.
Sighing, he spared a glance at the stubborn kitten-sized dragon still perched on his desk. While her brother had gotten the hint that dad was busy, she seemed to think she could outlast his work; somehow able to glare and pout hard enough that he would stop and give her the attention she felt entitled to.
With a small smile, he turns back to his work, cooing internally at his adorably stubborn daughter. Then his eyes widen, hearing a crunch and feeling the pen in his hand briefly pause before the sudden sensation of wet passes over his hand. Malleus stared down at his small, too-proud daughter, the end of his fountain pen still sticking out of her mouth and dripping ink onto paperwork.
“...” With all the grace of swiping a fly, he shoved the baby dragon off his desk and to the floor.
Malgona actually squawks, staring up at her father with what he could only translate to ‘The audacity’. She squeals and hisses, lunging at him on and off before scrambling to the wall. He raises a brow, watching her swing her head into the baseboard before giving him another hiss and scurrying out of his office.
He sighs, turning to retrieve another pen to restart his work.
Yuu comes to stand in the doorway. Malgona — Now a pouting human toddler with a bright red mark on her forehead — held in her mother’s arms giving him a vengeful smile.
“Malleus, care to explain why my baby tells me you threw her against the wall?”
“I believe we're both aware that one in particular lies.”
Silver + Sebek
“You said…it was here?” Silver asks, looking around the ground with a confused expression.
Louis scoffs, searching the edge of the area with determination, “Curb the distrust in your voice. I don't know the exact location, but I'm telling you there's a hole in this yard, somewhere.”
“I'm not saying you're lying. I'd just sooner believe you brought the shovel to hit Sebek with.”
“Well, the evening is young.”
“I’ve done nothing to you…” The half-Fae mumbles.
“Lies. You married my brother.”Louis retorts.
When the young king had appeared on their doorstep that morning with a shovel in hand, Silver quickly passed Beau into Sebek's arms. Both of them fully convinced Louis had come to duel with his twin's husband. Instead, the blonde twin explained he wished to remedy a threat in their yard, Louis insisting there was a hole that had nearly killed him multiple times during his childhood visits.
Standing to the side, stiff as a board, Sebek nervously held onto Beau. The quickest of the pass being the only reason Sebek took the baby so easily. But now, looking down at wide aurora eyes, the half-Fae could feel himself start to panic. He wasn't ready to truly engage with their foster son, still feeling that the moment he breathed too loudly, he'd terrify the poor boy.
Sebek jerked, eyes wide in surprise when Beau shoved against him. His body reacts before his mind understood that the infant wasn't trying to move away from him but was simply moving.
He still slackened his grip.
What followed was a silent show of panic, lightning-fast grabs, and seconds later slips.
Luckily, he manages to grip the silent baby with both hands, standing upright and staring into the open air just as Silver speaks.
“Oh, there is a hole here.” He stares down the narrow tunnel, tilting his head as he wondered if it was an abandoned burrow.
“I told you! Bane of my existence for nearly 20 years…” Louis looks over his shoulder, ready to tell Sebek to bring the shovel before stopping at his expression. Turning to Silver, to gestures at Sebek’s terrified expression, “What in the Glades is wrong with him?”
Silver looks over his husband before shaking his head, “Don't mind Sebek. He's just nervous holding Beau still.”
Lilia
Raising a child himself was harder than Lilia thought it'd be.
He sighs, bouncing a sobbing baby in his arms and pacing his cottage, “You fuss all day, you cry all night. And you were so cute the first night I had you. Was it all a trick, Silver?” He could only sigh when his reply was a wail.
Switching his hold, Lilia ponders. He's only been personal with five infants — technically four, Sebek's egg was set to hatch late in the Spring— his entire life, and most of them had the surname Zigvolt. And while they had been a wealth of knowledge, he couldn't give Silver over to them every time he cried.
He thought harder, cuddling into a pudding-soft, tear-streaked cheek. How did he calm Malleus again? Pouting, he remembered Boudicca drilling into his mind that Silver could only have milk for a year before he tried to give him solid foods, so bribing him with sweets was out of the question.
The longer he thought, the less he felt his feet touch the ground. An old habit of floating along with his mind. As he felt his back hit the ceiling, he realized Silver had stopped crying. Looking at the child in hand, he was met with wide Aurora eyes.
“Oh? Have we stopped all that crying?” He looked at his surroundings, humming before looking back to Silver, “Do you like this?”
He sits up, fully hanging Silver upside down. The infant babbles, his arms flailing briefly before a giggle bubbles out of him.
“Yes! Laughter! The ceiling is such a fun place, isn't it?” Lilia laughs along with Silver, cuddling into his cheek, “You know I used to hide with Malleus on the ceiling — ”
The cottage door opens, a figure in black stepping through, “Lilia, I've brought what you asked for.”
“Oh! Speak and he shall appear, it seems.” He lifts an arm to wave, realizing too late of the shifting weight in his hold. He just barely misses gripping the back of Silver's nightgown as he slips from his arms and plummets to the floor.
Silence rings in the room; Lilia still on the ceiling, Malleus standing in the doorway with his arms outstretched and Silver floating a foot from the ground, giggling in a green-hued bubble.
…
“Lilia — ”
“My, child rearing is exhilarating.”
“Lilia, this is how you dropped me. Please don't take him on the ceiling again.”
A/N: Hello all, and a happy Father's Day, again! Once again, I will be flinging my Fankids at you guys! Now with new children for some pairings! But also, if you wanna learn more about them, don't hesitate to send in an ask, enjoy!
Warnings: Near and Dropping of Children
Pairings: YuuxMalleusxAzulxJamil, RiddlexFloyd, TreyxJade, CaterxIdia, AcexDeucexJackxEpel, LeonaxRuggie, VilxRook, SebekxSilver
Word Count: 4.1 K (Each ficlet is around 300-400 words)
Last Year's Fic
Riddle + Floyd
Riddle glared up at his husband, the merfolk standing on the roof of their garage. That had actually become fairly normal since moving in — Floyd being fascinated by the idea of home upkeep for some reason (It was cleaning the gutters mostly.)
The reason he was glaring was the fact Floyd was standing on the roof with a painted pumpkin under one arm and their six-year-old child in the other.
Riddle folds his arms, unblinking as he questions, “What do you think you're doing with our son?”
“...” Floyd lifts Larimar slightly, “Oh, he's just hanging out. We're gonna drop this pumpkin off the roof and see how it splatters.”
“No!? You are not!?” Riddle yells, gesturing to the pristine asphalt of their driveway and the sidewalk, “You're going to make a mess of pumpkin innards all over the place.”
“Calm down, it's hollow-”
“Full of BLOOD AND GUTS!” Larimar squeals, slapping and trying to shove the pumpkin from Floyd's hand.
“...” Riddle raises a single eyebrow.
“Ugh, way to blow the surprise, guppy. Yeah, we wanted to see what it'd be like if someone fell off the roof. Lari thinks their head would explode, so we're testing it. All science-like; it's educational-”
“Drop it!” Riddle hisses, pointing at the two, “Drop it right now and come down from there! Both of you!”
Smiling, Floyd holds the pumpkin out farther, “Drop it~?” But Riddle's resulting screech makes him groan, “Calm down. Fine, here-” Floyd's expression balks, realizing a second too late he had just casually tossed Larimar instead of the pumpkin.
“Larimar!” Riddle all but screamed. He lunges, barely catching the giggling child in his arms before stumbling into their rose bushes.
…
Riddle stares up at his husband, Larimar still laughing on his chest, “Floyd. Come down here right now.”
“Nah, I think I'm safer up here…”
“You're not.”
Trey + Jade
“And this is a Purple Pansy Pollop.” Jade explains, plucking the dull purple mushroom with his bare hands, “Very rare for this time of year, but a common find in the Queendom mountains.
Icsac knelt beside the cluster, snapping a photo with his disposable camera, "Aren't those poisonous?”
“No, that would be a Purple Pandora Pollop. They only look similar, as the Pandora variety has a purple dusting on their caps.”
“Ah…” Icsac snaps a photo of the sky, looking around as he takes notice of how dark it was getting, “It'll be night soon.”
Jade chuckles, placing the mushroom into a container and putting his gloves back on, “Sunset is starting, so it'd be best we leave the mountain. Camera away and gloves on, Icsac, we'll have to do a little climbing on the way down.”
“Right!”
The trek down was routine as always, Jade for a moment annoyed that a bug must have bitten him if the tingle on his arm was anything to go by. It was on the last ‘climb’ before they returned to the hiking path, a small cuesta that Jade decided was too tall for Icsac to jump from so young. Using one arm, he anchored his son into slowly walking down the cliff to an acceptable height.
Jade’s eyes widen, his grip suddenly slacking as he watches Icsac drop down the remaining four feet and land hard on his butt. Icsac, a child, of course, started crying.
“Shhh. Shhh. There, there my fry. You're okay, you're okay.” Jade gently coos, quickly easing himself down the rocky surface as best he could as numbness spread up his arm. He takes only a moment to look into his bag, cursing under his breath as he sees the pale purple mushroom with two fingerprints on its surface.
Kneeling before Icsac, Jade used his still working arm to pull him up, “Shhh, shhhhhhhh.”
“You dropped me…” Icsac sniffles, betrayal heavy in his eyes.
“I did. I apologize. Turns out I was wrong, that was a Purple Pandora Pollop.” Pressing a kiss to the teary boy's forehead, Jade ruffles his hair, “Don't tell your papa and I'll let you drive us down the mountain.”
Icsac pouts, following behind his dad, “Do I gotta drive you to the hospital again…?”
“It might be for the best.”
Cater + Idia
Photographing a cupcake shouldn't be this hard.
Though in his defense, it was multiple cupcakes and it was for a stupid brand deal that he made an entire video for that he refused to scrap. But after the twelfth round of photos, they still didn't look right to him.
He hums, sighing and moving the photos to his ‘to delete’ folder, “Okay, Hera, let's try one more time. Maybe change up the placement and do some more filter work.”
The tablet in hand briefly pinged, a single emoji taking over the screen.
'🤬'
“Don't you give me attitude, missy. One more round, and if they still don't look good, then I'll let you and your siblings have the unedited pics to play around with, okay?”
'😒'
The tablet pings again before showing him the camera function again.
“Thank you~.”
Twenty minutes later, Cater groans, frustration hitting a peak as the thirteenth round somehow looked the worst. He throws his head back in his chair, arms swinging up and letting the tablet drop from his hands to press them to his face-
“Ow!”
“...” Cater turns around, eyes wide at the teary-eyed emoji taking up the screen. As it turns into an angry, teary pout emote, he frantically scoops the tablet into his hands, “Oh! Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry!”
“You dropped me!”
“I'm sorry! I forgot-”
“You forgot me!?”
“Honey, it's been a long day; cut me some slack.” Cater groans, holding the tablet close and pressing kisses over its lightly scuffed edges, “Papa is so sorry.”
“I have a concussion!”
“Well, let's not go that far.”
“I'm gonna get brain damage!”
“You don't have — okay.” Cater huffs, holding the tablet to his face and raising an eyebrow, “If you're fine, I'll get you that new premium tablet cover you keep sending mama.”
The progressively distressed emojis stop, “I'm fine.”
'😊'
“That's what I thought.” Cater chuckles, patting the tablet to his chest, “Little extortionist…”
Ace + Deuce + Jack + Epel
“Which one of you fuckers dropped my damn baby?” Epel all but growled, Beni in his arms with a barely visible knot on his forehead.
Jack quickly looked over from the kitchen, ears perked, “He hit his head?”
“No. One of y'all dropped him!”
Ace smiles, rolling his eyes and going back to his book, “What did he tell you he got dropped?”
“Yeah, actually.”
…
Epel glared harder at the now sheepish group, “Who did it?”
Deuce cleared his throat, “Okay, what did he say?”
“He walked up to me and pointed at his little busted head, saying, ‘Mama, dropped’.”
“That could be he fell and didn't know how else to say it!”
Jack points his gaze to the redhead, “You're weirdly defensive, Ace.”
Deuce follows suit, “Suspicious.”
“What's suspicious is how quick you two ganged up on me!”
“Is this normal yelling, or ‘my school counselor gonna win the divorce bet’ yelling?” Russell asks, coming back inside for the backyard.
Jack huffed, “I'm calling that damn school again.”
“The principal’s in on it too. What's going on?”
“Someone dropped your brother, and they won't fess up.”
“...” Russell chuckles, tapping his forehead, “If you mean Beni’s goose egg, that happened from an acorn.”
…
“Pardon?”
“Yeah, he was hanging around while I was doing mah yard chores, and I saw it happen. He went running back inside pretty quiet, so I assumed he was okay.”
“...” Epel pulled a face before sighing, “Yeah…yeah, that makes sense. Sorry y'all.”
Deuce smiles, shaking his head, “We understand. Lord knows how we all were when Russell first knocked his head into a table leg…”
“I'm gonna get a towel on his head. Come on, Beni boy…” Epel takes the confused-looking toddler out of the room, rubbing his back comfortingly.
“...” Ace looks to his son, “You dropped your brother.”
“It was…an accident.”
“Don't do it again.” Jack grunts.
“Look, you all should be happy I'm teaching him to lie by omission so early.” Russell snips back, grumbling all the way back to his room.
Leona + Ruggie
"You ever think about the fact we've never dropped him?”
Leona cracks open an eye, lounging on their bed with a snoozing five-year-old on his chest, “What are you talking about?”
Ruggie shrugs from his place lying beside the two, playing with the sleeping little lion’s flicking tail, “I mean, the fact Azizi has a perfect track record. Like we're not just dropping the kids normally, but accidents happen, you know?”
“Yeah, what are you talking about? We've dropped him plenty of times.”
“I — ” Ruggie pulls a face, eyebrows creased, “Name one time we've ever dropped this little fucker?”
“Just yesterday, he got dropped in the pool; we're lucky he knew how to swim.”
“...Yeah? We were doing swim lessons? I didn't drop him! He wanted to get thrown in the pool; that doesn't count!”
Leona clicks his tongue, a hand pressing over Azizi's head as his little ears fold down, “Pipe down, he's sleeping for once.”
“‘For once’ he says. Like he isn't the main one asleep in this house after you…” Ruggie mumbles.
Tilting his head, Leona continues, “Dropped him down the stairs.”
“We did not drop him down the stairs — are you talking about the kids surfing the old mattresses down the stairs? Because one: no, they shouldn't be doing that anyway. Two: that's not us dropping him?”
“Got dropped his first day in the house on the way over.”
“What are you — ...” Ruggie narrows his eyes, pushing himself up and into his smug husband's face, “You brought him home alone; I didn't even know he was mine until you dropped him in my hands.”
“...”
Eyes widening, Ruggie connected several dots, “By the Design, Leona! How many times have you dropped this kid!?”
“How many times have you?”
“None!?”
“Same.”
“LEONA!”
Azul
Azul hadn't felt this tired on land since it was his time walking. A disaster of an ingredient shipment in his mother's restaurant, the elder Cecaelia calling him to help, took nearly an entire week of continuous work to put everything back in order. The only plus of the exhausting week was that his darling pearl had the mind to pick him up from the water, their daughters in tow. She carried him into the house, all but dropping him onto the sofa before telling him to sleep while she had a shower.
And he nearly slipped into that long unhad bliss before a small hand smacks against his thigh.
“Daddy, hungry. Hungry.” Charysa calls, pouting up at her father as he lies boneless on the couch.
Scylar pouts beside her, pointing to the clock on the wall, “Lunchtime…”
“Hm?” He glances at the clock, seeing it nearly an hour after their normal lunch time, “Oh yes, of course. You girls must be hungry. Right. One moment…” he barely manages to get off the couch, eyes droopy as he shuffled toward the kitchen with two happy octotoddlers behind him.
He moves on muscle memory, gathering up ingredients for a quick pasta dish that should be ready by the time Yuu is out of the shower. but, nearly half an hour later, he stands at the stove looking at the pot of water that for some reason hasn't boiled.
A tug on his sleeve makes him look down at Scylar, big dark blue eyes blinking up at him as she makes grabby hands toward him.
He smiles, picking her up to his hip. “Yes, my lovely fry, what is it?”
The toddler doesn't speak, leaning over and clicking the flame of the stove on.
“...” Azul sighs, nodding his head at the mistake, “I see. Go play with your sister.” He says, holding Scylar out for her to swim off.
Yuu walks into the kitchen, toweling her hair. “Azul, we need to grab — You're not in the water. YOU'RE NOT IN THE WATER!”
Azul's eyes widen, just managing to regrip Skylar under her arms before she fell, the three-year-old in question tilting her head as though to say ‘What was that?’
Yuu rushed over, pulling the toddler from his stunned hands and guiding him away from the stove, “Ok, it's time for someone to take a nap.”
The twins both perk up, tugging on Yuu's clothes, “Nap! We wanna nap!”
“Perfect, you two can make sure daddy naps.”
Kalim
“Why are there straps on this?”
Kalim and Zayan sat on the stone floor of the newly empty guest room, a parade of unassembled baby furniture scattered around them while Zayan* had Ruby strapped to his chest. The tiger beast men raised an eyebrow, the pad of the changing table they were building in hand.
“Don't give me that look. Having straps on a changing table is strange!” Kalim huffs, lightly tossing the instructions away, “Let's put it together without them.”
The beastman frowns, making an X over his chest and Ruby with his arms.
“You can't fault me for not wanting them! I've never seen a changing table with belts on it. I'd feel like I'm strapping her down and doing something bad to her!”
Zayan sighs, looking to the side as though to state he’s never seen a changing table, period. The Asim compound didn't ‘need’ changing tables, as no surface was considered too good for an Asim baby butt.
Waving off his attendant’s expression, Kalim laughs, “Oh, don't worry so much. Here, put it together and I'll show you.” He plucks Ruby from the chest holder, cooing as he gently played with her snow white tiger ears and curious little hands.
Finishing the table fast, Zayan nervously held onto the excluded straps to the side of it. Kalim places Ruby on the changing table, the two of them watching the baby wiggle and feel out the new surface.
Laughing, Kalim gestures to the baby, “Now see? No straps needed — ”
Ruby rolls, going over the side in a single second. Two sets of hands catching her in half the time.
…
Zayan gives a strained look to his employer, slowly maneuvering Ruby back into his chest holder.
“...” Kalim grabs the straps from Zayan, laughing nervously, “Okay, maybe we need the straps.”
Jamil
Yuu's first misstep was questioning Jamil's parenting. As he had been a caregiver since he was seven, he claimed she had no reason to question him. She stated that wasn't an answer to why she had yet to see him put their son down.
He didn't fight her on the fact that JJ had been almost always firmly strapped to his person since infancy, even though he was coming up on six months. So he simply proposed she watch him alone for the day while he had some personal time. She can see the survival instincts of their son.
After his day, alone with his thoughts and the masses, Jamil leaned against the doorway with a smirk. Yuu was slumped on the couch, a babbling JJ laying across her stomach. He took notice of the living room, the coffee table moved from it’s normal place and pressed top surface to the wall, every blanket in the house spread along the floor and pillows aggressively ducttaped to whatever corner she couldn’t move aside. He clears his throat, head tilting in silent question.
Looking up, Yuu heaves a loud sigh before sending a smile his way, “Hi, honey. How was your day out?”
“It went well. I got coffee, took a walk through the park, and browsed a book fair in town. I even had time to go grocery shopping alone for once.” His smirk turns downright malicious, “How was yours?”
“Why does he want to kill himself?”
“I told you he was difficult.”
“Ok, yeah!” She gestures to their cooing baby, “But we can't just have him swaddled 24/7; he'll never learn to walk at this point.”
Jamil huffs, hating to admit she was right but saying nothing else, “Put him on the blankets and help me bring in the shopping.”
“Got it…”
Yuu places JJ on the ground, knowing the baby was safe to lie on his front. Or he should have been. Seeing how the moment Yuu's hands left his body, he slammed his forehead into the ground. A dull thud ringing out before JJ lifts his head and starts wailing.
“Buddy!?”
Jamil sighs, barely keeping his laughter in check, “Just go get the groceries; I'll handle him.”
Plucking the crying baby from the ground, he sighs again as he pats JJ on the back, “I can't tell if I was this shit at living as a baby or if this is from your mother…”
Vil + Rook
“He's going to fall…” Vil grumbles, staring out the kitchen window with an intense gaze.
Rook smiles, nursing his coffee before walking over to his lover's side. Looking out, he could only smile wider at seeing Finley climbing a tree at the edge of his playyard, “He seems to be doing just fine.”
Clicking his tongue, Vil spared a single glare toward Rook before turning his focus back to the blonde darling halfway up a trimmed spruce, “He's going to fall and break every bone in his little body.”
“I highly doubt that, my dear.”
“You don’t know that! He’s never fallen more than a foot; his bones could be fragile!”
Rook sighs lovingly, a hand to his chest and the other grazing his husbands face, “Oh, only you could craft a precious being of glass bones and paper skin.”
“...” Vil gives Rook his full attention, glaring at the teasing man, “I will have you know that that is an actual medical condition and you’re. Not. Funny.”
Chuckling, Rook places a hand on Vil’s hip, pulling the star closer to him, “Mon Roi, have you never climbed a tree before? As the boy's father — And veteran climber of many a surface — I can assure you, he is doing just fine —”
Finley's shrill scream makes both of them turn to the window, just in time to watch their child drop from the tree. Somehow managing to miss the fence separating the flat green from Vil’s sunken yoga area, he falls a whole floor level. Luckily, the boy seemed only dazed, staring up to the sky from the shrubs lining the meditation pool below.
“My baby!” Vil screams, sprinting out of the kitchen and rushing down the stairs with Rook close behind.
“He is fine! I'm sure he's fine-”
“You shut your mouth! You dropped my baby!”
Malleus
While Malleus didn't care for paperwork, he knew he had to do it — no matter how much his children pouted and whined for him to play with them.
Sighing, he spared a glance at the stubborn kitten-sized dragon still perched on his desk. While her brother had gotten the hint that dad was busy, she seemed to think she could outlast his work; somehow able to glare and pout hard enough that he would stop and give her the attention she felt entitled to.
With a small smile, he turns back to his work, cooing internally at his adorably stubborn daughter. Then his eyes widen, hearing a crunch and feeling the pen in his hand briefly pause before the sudden sensation of wet passes over his hand. Malleus stared down at his small, too-proud daughter, the end of his fountain pen still sticking out of her mouth and dripping ink onto paperwork.
“...” With all the grace of swiping a fly, he shoved the baby dragon off his desk and to the floor.
Malgona actually squawks, staring up at her father with what he could only translate to ‘The audacity’. She squeals and hisses, lunging at him on and off before scrambling to the wall. He raises a brow, watching her swing her head into the baseboard before giving him another hiss and scurrying out of his office.
He sighs, turning to retrieve another pen to restart his work.
Yuu comes to stand in the doorway. Malgona — Now a pouting human toddler with a bright red mark on her forehead — held in her mother’s arms giving him a vengeful smile.
“Malleus, care to explain why my baby tells me you threw her against the wall?”
“I believe we're both aware that one in particular lies.”
Silver + Sebek
“You said…it was here?” Silver asks, looking around the ground with a confused expression.
Louis scoffs, searching the edge of the area with determination, “Curb the distrust in your voice. I don't know the exact location, but I'm telling you there's a hole in this yard, somewhere.”
“I'm not saying you're lying. I'd just sooner believe you brought the shovel to hit Sebek with.”
“Well, the evening is young.”
“I’ve done nothing to you…” The half-Fae mumbles.
“Lies. You married my brother.”Louis retorts.
When the young king had appeared on their doorstep that morning with a shovel in hand, Silver quickly passed Beau into Sebek's arms. Both of them fully convinced Louis had come to duel with his twin's husband. Instead, the blonde twin explained he wished to remedy a threat in their yard, Louis insisting there was a hole that had nearly killed him multiple times during his childhood visits.
Standing to the side, stiff as a board, Sebek nervously held onto Beau. The quickest of the pass being the only reason Sebek took the baby so easily. But now, looking down at wide aurora eyes, the half-Fae could feel himself start to panic. He wasn't ready to truly engage with their foster son, still feeling that the moment he breathed too loudly, he'd terrify the poor boy.
Sebek jerked, eyes wide in surprise when Beau shoved against him. His body reacts before his mind understood that the infant wasn't trying to move away from him but was simply moving.
He still slackened his grip.
What followed was a silent show of panic, lightning-fast grabs, and seconds later slips.
Luckily, he manages to grip the silent baby with both hands, standing upright and staring into the open air just as Silver speaks.
“Oh, there is a hole here.” He stares down the narrow tunnel, tilting his head as he wondered if it was an abandoned burrow.
“I told you! Bane of my existence for nearly 20 years…” Louis looks over his shoulder, ready to tell Sebek to bring the shovel before stopping at his expression. Turning to Silver, to gestures at Sebek’s terrified expression, “What in the Glades is wrong with him?”
Silver looks over his husband before shaking his head, “Don't mind Sebek. He's just nervous holding Beau still.”
Lilia
Raising a child himself was harder than Lilia thought it'd be.
He sighs, bouncing a sobbing baby in his arms and pacing his cottage, “You fuss all day, you cry all night. And you were so cute the first night I had you. Was it all a trick, Silver?” He could only sigh when his reply was a wail.
Switching his hold, Lilia ponders. He's only been personal with five infants — technically four, Sebek's egg was set to hatch late in the Spring— his entire life, and most of them had the surname Zigvolt. And while they had been a wealth of knowledge, he couldn't give Silver over to them every time he cried.
He thought harder, cuddling into a pudding-soft, tear-streaked cheek. How did he calm Malleus again? Pouting, he remembered Boudicca drilling into his mind that Silver could only have milk for a year before he tried to give him solid foods, so bribing him with sweets was out of the question.
The longer he thought, the less he felt his feet touch the ground. An old habit of floating along with his mind. As he felt his back hit the ceiling, he realized Silver had stopped crying. Looking at the child in hand, he was met with wide Aurora eyes.
“Oh? Have we stopped all that crying?” He looked at his surroundings, humming before looking back to Silver, “Do you like this?”
He sits up, fully hanging Silver upside down. The infant babbles, his arms flailing briefly before a giggle bubbles out of him.
“Yes! Laughter! The ceiling is such a fun place, isn't it?” Lilia laughs along with Silver, cuddling into his cheek, “You know I used to hide with Malleus on the ceiling — ”
The cottage door opens, a figure in black stepping through, “Lilia, I've brought what you asked for.”
“Oh! Speak and he shall appear, it seems.” He lifts an arm to wave, realizing too late of the shifting weight in his hold. He just barely misses gripping the back of Silver's nightgown as he slips from his arms and plummets to the floor.
Silence rings in the room; Lilia still on the ceiling, Malleus standing in the doorway with his arms outstretched and Silver floating a foot from the ground, giggling in a green-hued bubble.
…
“Lilia — ”
“My, child rearing is exhilarating.”
“Lilia, this is how you dropped me. Please don't take him on the ceiling again.”
A/N: Hello all, and a happy Father's Day, again! Once again, I will be flinging my Fankids at you guys! Now with new children for some pairings! But also, if you wanna learn more about them, don't hesitate to send in an ask, enjoy!
Warnings: Near and Dropping of Children
Pairings: YuuxMalleusxAzulxJamil, RiddlexFloyd, TreyxJade, CaterxIdia, AcexDeucexJackxEpel, LeonaxRuggie, VilxRook, SebekxSilver
Word Count: 4.1 K (Each ficlet is around 300-400 words)
Last Year's Fic
Riddle + Floyd
Riddle glared up at his husband, the merfolk standing on the roof of their garage. That had actually become fairly normal since moving in — Floyd being fascinated by the idea of home upkeep for some reason (It was cleaning the gutters mostly.)
The reason he was glaring was the fact Floyd was standing on the roof with a painted pumpkin under one arm and their six-year-old child in the other.
Riddle folds his arms, unblinking as he questions, “What do you think you're doing with our son?”
“...” Floyd lifts Larimar slightly, “Oh, he's just hanging out. We're gonna drop this pumpkin off the roof and see how it splatters.”
“No!? You are not!?” Riddle yells, gesturing to the pristine asphalt of their driveway and the sidewalk, “You're going to make a mess of pumpkin innards all over the place.”
“Calm down, it's hollow-”
“Full of BLOOD AND GUTS!” Larimar squeals, slapping and trying to shove the pumpkin from Floyd's hand.
“...” Riddle raises a single eyebrow.
“Ugh, way to blow the surprise, guppy. Yeah, we wanted to see what it'd be like if someone fell off the roof. Lari thinks their head would explode, so we're testing it. All science-like; it's educational-”
“Drop it!” Riddle hisses, pointing at the two, “Drop it right now and come down from there! Both of you!”
Smiling, Floyd holds the pumpkin out farther, “Drop it~?” But Riddle's resulting screech makes him groan, “Calm down. Fine, here-” Floyd's expression balks, realizing a second too late he had just casually tossed Larimar instead of the pumpkin.
“Larimar!” Riddle all but screamed. He lunges, barely catching the giggling child in his arms before stumbling into their rose bushes.
…
Riddle stares up at his husband, Larimar still laughing on his chest, “Floyd. Come down here right now.”
“Nah, I think I'm safer up here…”
“You're not.”
Trey + Jade
“And this is a Purple Pansy Pollop.” Jade explains, plucking the dull purple mushroom with his bare hands, “Very rare for this time of year, but a common find in the Queendom mountains.
Icsac knelt beside the cluster, snapping a photo with his disposable camera, "Aren't those poisonous?”
“No, that would be a Purple Pandora Pollop. They only look similar, as the Pandora variety has a purple dusting on their caps.”
“Ah…” Icsac snaps a photo of the sky, looking around as he takes notice of how dark it was getting, “It'll be night soon.”
Jade chuckles, placing the mushroom into a container and putting his gloves back on, “Sunset is starting, so it'd be best we leave the mountain. Camera away and gloves on, Icsac, we'll have to do a little climbing on the way down.”
“Right!”
The trek down was routine as always, Jade for a moment annoyed that a bug must have bitten him if the tingle on his arm was anything to go by. It was on the last ‘climb’ before they returned to the hiking path, a small cuesta that Jade decided was too tall for Icsac to jump from so young. Using one arm, he anchored his son into slowly walking down the cliff to an acceptable height.
Jade’s eyes widen, his grip suddenly slacking as he watches Icsac drop down the remaining four feet and land hard on his butt. Icsac, a child, of course, started crying.
“Shhh. Shhh. There, there my fry. You're okay, you're okay.” Jade gently coos, quickly easing himself down the rocky surface as best he could as numbness spread up his arm. He takes only a moment to look into his bag, cursing under his breath as he sees the pale purple mushroom with two fingerprints on its surface.
Kneeling before Icsac, Jade used his still working arm to pull him up, “Shhh, shhhhhhhh.”
“You dropped me…” Icsac sniffles, betrayal heavy in his eyes.
“I did. I apologize. Turns out I was wrong, that was a Purple Pandora Pollop.” Pressing a kiss to the teary boy's forehead, Jade ruffles his hair, “Don't tell your papa and I'll let you drive us down the mountain.”
Icsac pouts, following behind his dad, “Do I gotta drive you to the hospital again…?”
“It might be for the best.”
Cater + Idia
Photographing a cupcake shouldn't be this hard.
Though in his defense, it was multiple cupcakes and it was for a stupid brand deal that he made an entire video for that he refused to scrap. But after the twelfth round of photos, they still didn't look right to him.
He hums, sighing and moving the photos to his ‘to delete’ folder, “Okay, Hera, let's try one more time. Maybe change up the placement and do some more filter work.”
The tablet in hand briefly pinged, a single emoji taking over the screen.
'🤬'
“Don't you give me attitude, missy. One more round, and if they still don't look good, then I'll let you and your siblings have the unedited pics to play around with, okay?”
'😒'
The tablet pings again before showing him the camera function again.
“Thank you~.”
Twenty minutes later, Cater groans, frustration hitting a peak as the thirteenth round somehow looked the worst. He throws his head back in his chair, arms swinging up and letting the tablet drop from his hands to press them to his face-
“Ow!”
“...” Cater turns around, eyes wide at the teary-eyed emoji taking up the screen. As it turns into an angry, teary pout emote, he frantically scoops the tablet into his hands, “Oh! Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry!”
“You dropped me!”
“I'm sorry! I forgot-”
“You forgot me!?”
“Honey, it's been a long day; cut me some slack.” Cater groans, holding the tablet close and pressing kisses over its lightly scuffed edges, “Papa is so sorry.”
“I have a concussion!”
“Well, let's not go that far.”
“I'm gonna get brain damage!”
“You don't have — okay.” Cater huffs, holding the tablet to his face and raising an eyebrow, “If you're fine, I'll get you that new premium tablet cover you keep sending mama.”
The progressively distressed emojis stop, “I'm fine.”
'😊'
“That's what I thought.” Cater chuckles, patting the tablet to his chest, “Little extortionist…”
Ace + Deuce + Jack + Epel
“Which one of you fuckers dropped my damn baby?” Epel all but growled, Beni in his arms with a barely visible knot on his forehead.
Jack quickly looked over from the kitchen, ears perked, “He hit his head?”
“No. One of y'all dropped him!”
Ace smiles, rolling his eyes and going back to his book, “What did he tell you he got dropped?”
“Yeah, actually.”
…
Epel glared harder at the now sheepish group, “Who did it?”
Deuce cleared his throat, “Okay, what did he say?”
“He walked up to me and pointed at his little busted head, saying, ‘Mama, dropped’.”
“That could be he fell and didn't know how else to say it!”
Jack points his gaze to the redhead, “You're weirdly defensive, Ace.”
Deuce follows suit, “Suspicious.”
“What's suspicious is how quick you two ganged up on me!”
“Is this normal yelling, or ‘my school counselor gonna win the divorce bet’ yelling?” Russell asks, coming back inside for the backyard.
Jack huffed, “I'm calling that damn school again.”
“The principal’s in on it too. What's going on?”
“Someone dropped your brother, and they won't fess up.”
“...” Russell chuckles, tapping his forehead, “If you mean Beni’s goose egg, that happened from an acorn.”
…
“Pardon?”
“Yeah, he was hanging around while I was doing mah yard chores, and I saw it happen. He went running back inside pretty quiet, so I assumed he was okay.”
“...” Epel pulled a face before sighing, “Yeah…yeah, that makes sense. Sorry y'all.”
Deuce smiles, shaking his head, “We understand. Lord knows how we all were when Russell first knocked his head into a table leg…”
“I'm gonna get a towel on his head. Come on, Beni boy…” Epel takes the confused-looking toddler out of the room, rubbing his back comfortingly.
“...” Ace looks to his son, “You dropped your brother.”
“It was…an accident.”
“Don't do it again.” Jack grunts.
“Look, you all should be happy I'm teaching him to lie by omission so early.” Russell snips back, grumbling all the way back to his room.
Leona + Ruggie
"You ever think about the fact we've never dropped him?”
Leona cracks open an eye, lounging on their bed with a snoozing five-year-old on his chest, “What are you talking about?”
Ruggie shrugs from his place lying beside the two, playing with the sleeping little lion’s flicking tail, “I mean, the fact Azizi has a perfect track record. Like we're not just dropping the kids normally, but accidents happen, you know?”
“Yeah, what are you talking about? We've dropped him plenty of times.”
“I — ” Ruggie pulls a face, eyebrows creased, “Name one time we've ever dropped this little fucker?”
“Just yesterday, he got dropped in the pool; we're lucky he knew how to swim.”
“...Yeah? We were doing swim lessons? I didn't drop him! He wanted to get thrown in the pool; that doesn't count!”
Leona clicks his tongue, a hand pressing over Azizi's head as his little ears fold down, “Pipe down, he's sleeping for once.”
“‘For once’ he says. Like he isn't the main one asleep in this house after you…” Ruggie mumbles.
Tilting his head, Leona continues, “Dropped him down the stairs.”
“We did not drop him down the stairs — are you talking about the kids surfing the old mattresses down the stairs? Because one: no, they shouldn't be doing that anyway. Two: that's not us dropping him?”
“Got dropped his first day in the house on the way over.”
“What are you — ...” Ruggie narrows his eyes, pushing himself up and into his smug husband's face, “You brought him home alone; I didn't even know he was mine until you dropped him in my hands.”
“...”
Eyes widening, Ruggie connected several dots, “By the Design, Leona! How many times have you dropped this kid!?”
“How many times have you?”
“None!?”
“Same.”
“LEONA!”
Azul
Azul hadn't felt this tired on land since it was his time walking. A disaster of an ingredient shipment in his mother's restaurant, the elder Cecaelia calling him to help, took nearly an entire week of continuous work to put everything back in order. The only plus of the exhausting week was that his darling pearl had the mind to pick him up from the water, their daughters in tow. She carried him into the house, all but dropping him onto the sofa before telling him to sleep while she had a shower.
And he nearly slipped into that long unhad bliss before a small hand smacks against his thigh.
“Daddy, hungry. Hungry.” Charysa calls, pouting up at her father as he lies boneless on the couch.
Scylar pouts beside her, pointing to the clock on the wall, “Lunchtime…”
“Hm?” He glances at the clock, seeing it nearly an hour after their normal lunch time, “Oh yes, of course. You girls must be hungry. Right. One moment…” he barely manages to get off the couch, eyes droopy as he shuffled toward the kitchen with two happy octotoddlers behind him.
He moves on muscle memory, gathering up ingredients for a quick pasta dish that should be ready by the time Yuu is out of the shower. but, nearly half an hour later, he stands at the stove looking at the pot of water that for some reason hasn't boiled.
A tug on his sleeve makes him look down at Scylar, big dark blue eyes blinking up at him as she makes grabby hands toward him.
He smiles, picking her up to his hip. “Yes, my lovely fry, what is it?”
The toddler doesn't speak, leaning over and clicking the flame of the stove on.
“...” Azul sighs, nodding his head at the mistake, “I see. Go play with your sister.” He says, holding Scylar out for her to swim off.
Yuu walks into the kitchen, toweling her hair. “Azul, we need to grab — You're not in the water. YOU'RE NOT IN THE WATER!”
Azul's eyes widen, just managing to regrip Skylar under her arms before she fell, the three-year-old in question tilting her head as though to say ‘What was that?’
Yuu rushed over, pulling the toddler from his stunned hands and guiding him away from the stove, “Ok, it's time for someone to take a nap.”
The twins both perk up, tugging on Yuu's clothes, “Nap! We wanna nap!”
“Perfect, you two can make sure daddy naps.”
Kalim
“Why are there straps on this?”
Kalim and Zayan sat on the stone floor of the newly empty guest room, a parade of unassembled baby furniture scattered around them while Zayan* had Ruby strapped to his chest. The tiger beast men raised an eyebrow, the pad of the changing table they were building in hand.
“Don't give me that look. Having straps on a changing table is strange!” Kalim huffs, lightly tossing the instructions away, “Let's put it together without them.”
The beastman frowns, making an X over his chest and Ruby with his arms.
“You can't fault me for not wanting them! I've never seen a changing table with belts on it. I'd feel like I'm strapping her down and doing something bad to her!”
Zayan sighs, looking to the side as though to state he’s never seen a changing table, period. The Asim compound didn't ‘need’ changing tables, as no surface was considered too good for an Asim baby butt.
Waving off his attendant’s expression, Kalim laughs, “Oh, don't worry so much. Here, put it together and I'll show you.” He plucks Ruby from the chest holder, cooing as he gently played with her snow white tiger ears and curious little hands.
Finishing the table fast, Zayan nervously held onto the excluded straps to the side of it. Kalim places Ruby on the changing table, the two of them watching the baby wiggle and feel out the new surface.
Laughing, Kalim gestures to the baby, “Now see? No straps needed — ”
Ruby rolls, going over the side in a single second. Two sets of hands catching her in half the time.
…
Zayan gives a strained look to his employer, slowly maneuvering Ruby back into his chest holder.
“...” Kalim grabs the straps from Zayan, laughing nervously, “Okay, maybe we need the straps.”
Jamil
Yuu's first misstep was questioning Jamil's parenting. As he had been a caregiver since he was seven, he claimed she had no reason to question him. She stated that wasn't an answer to why she had yet to see him put their son down.
He didn't fight her on the fact that JJ had been almost always firmly strapped to his person since infancy, even though he was coming up on six months. So he simply proposed she watch him alone for the day while he had some personal time. She can see the survival instincts of their son.
After his day, alone with his thoughts and the masses, Jamil leaned against the doorway with a smirk. Yuu was slumped on the couch, a babbling JJ laying across her stomach. He took notice of the living room, the coffee table moved from it’s normal place and pressed top surface to the wall, every blanket in the house spread along the floor and pillows aggressively ducttaped to whatever corner she couldn’t move aside. He clears his throat, head tilting in silent question.
Looking up, Yuu heaves a loud sigh before sending a smile his way, “Hi, honey. How was your day out?”
“It went well. I got coffee, took a walk through the park, and browsed a book fair in town. I even had time to go grocery shopping alone for once.” His smirk turns downright malicious, “How was yours?”
“Why does he want to kill himself?”
“I told you he was difficult.”
“Ok, yeah!” She gestures to their cooing baby, “But we can't just have him swaddled 24/7; he'll never learn to walk at this point.”
Jamil huffs, hating to admit she was right but saying nothing else, “Put him on the blankets and help me bring in the shopping.”
“Got it…”
Yuu places JJ on the ground, knowing the baby was safe to lie on his front. Or he should have been. Seeing how the moment Yuu's hands left his body, he slammed his forehead into the ground. A dull thud ringing out before JJ lifts his head and starts wailing.
“Buddy!?”
Jamil sighs, barely keeping his laughter in check, “Just go get the groceries; I'll handle him.”
Plucking the crying baby from the ground, he sighs again as he pats JJ on the back, “I can't tell if I was this shit at living as a baby or if this is from your mother…”
Vil + Rook
“He's going to fall…” Vil grumbles, staring out the kitchen window with an intense gaze.
Rook smiles, nursing his coffee before walking over to his lover's side. Looking out, he could only smile wider at seeing Finley climbing a tree at the edge of his playyard, “He seems to be doing just fine.”
Clicking his tongue, Vil spared a single glare toward Rook before turning his focus back to the blonde darling halfway up a trimmed spruce, “He's going to fall and break every bone in his little body.”
“I highly doubt that, my dear.”
“You don’t know that! He’s never fallen more than a foot; his bones could be fragile!”
Rook sighs lovingly, a hand to his chest and the other grazing his husbands face, “Oh, only you could craft a precious being of glass bones and paper skin.”
“...” Vil gives Rook his full attention, glaring at the teasing man, “I will have you know that that is an actual medical condition and you’re. Not. Funny.”
Chuckling, Rook places a hand on Vil’s hip, pulling the star closer to him, “Mon Roi, have you never climbed a tree before? As the boy's father — And veteran climber of many a surface — I can assure you, he is doing just fine —”
Finley's shrill scream makes both of them turn to the window, just in time to watch their child drop from the tree. Somehow managing to miss the fence separating the flat green from Vil’s sunken yoga area, he falls a whole floor level. Luckily, the boy seemed only dazed, staring up to the sky from the shrubs lining the meditation pool below.
“My baby!” Vil screams, sprinting out of the kitchen and rushing down the stairs with Rook close behind.
“He is fine! I'm sure he's fine-”
“You shut your mouth! You dropped my baby!”
Malleus
While Malleus didn't care for paperwork, he knew he had to do it — no matter how much his children pouted and whined for him to play with them.
Sighing, he spared a glance at the stubborn kitten-sized dragon still perched on his desk. While her brother had gotten the hint that dad was busy, she seemed to think she could outlast his work; somehow able to glare and pout hard enough that he would stop and give her the attention she felt entitled to.
With a small smile, he turns back to his work, cooing internally at his adorably stubborn daughter. Then his eyes widen, hearing a crunch and feeling the pen in his hand briefly pause before the sudden sensation of wet passes over his hand. Malleus stared down at his small, too-proud daughter, the end of his fountain pen still sticking out of her mouth and dripping ink onto paperwork.
“...” With all the grace of swiping a fly, he shoved the baby dragon off his desk and to the floor.
Malgona actually squawks, staring up at her father with what he could only translate to ‘The audacity’. She squeals and hisses, lunging at him on and off before scrambling to the wall. He raises a brow, watching her swing her head into the baseboard before giving him another hiss and scurrying out of his office.
He sighs, turning to retrieve another pen to restart his work.
Yuu comes to stand in the doorway. Malgona — Now a pouting human toddler with a bright red mark on her forehead — held in her mother’s arms giving him a vengeful smile.
“Malleus, care to explain why my baby tells me you threw her against the wall?”
“I believe we're both aware that one in particular lies.”
Silver + Sebek
“You said…it was here?” Silver asks, looking around the ground with a confused expression.
Louis scoffs, searching the edge of the area with determination, “Curb the distrust in your voice. I don't know the exact location, but I'm telling you there's a hole in this yard, somewhere.”
“I'm not saying you're lying. I'd just sooner believe you brought the shovel to hit Sebek with.”
“Well, the evening is young.”
“I’ve done nothing to you…” The half-Fae mumbles.
“Lies. You married my brother.”Louis retorts.
When the young king had appeared on their doorstep that morning with a shovel in hand, Silver quickly passed Beau into Sebek's arms. Both of them fully convinced Louis had come to duel with his twin's husband. Instead, the blonde twin explained he wished to remedy a threat in their yard, Louis insisting there was a hole that had nearly killed him multiple times during his childhood visits.
Standing to the side, stiff as a board, Sebek nervously held onto Beau. The quickest of the pass being the only reason Sebek took the baby so easily. But now, looking down at wide aurora eyes, the half-Fae could feel himself start to panic. He wasn't ready to truly engage with their foster son, still feeling that the moment he breathed too loudly, he'd terrify the poor boy.
Sebek jerked, eyes wide in surprise when Beau shoved against him. His body reacts before his mind understood that the infant wasn't trying to move away from him but was simply moving.
He still slackened his grip.
What followed was a silent show of panic, lightning-fast grabs, and seconds later slips.
Luckily, he manages to grip the silent baby with both hands, standing upright and staring into the open air just as Silver speaks.
“Oh, there is a hole here.” He stares down the narrow tunnel, tilting his head as he wondered if it was an abandoned burrow.
“I told you! Bane of my existence for nearly 20 years…” Louis looks over his shoulder, ready to tell Sebek to bring the shovel before stopping at his expression. Turning to Silver, to gestures at Sebek’s terrified expression, “What in the Glades is wrong with him?”
Silver looks over his husband before shaking his head, “Don't mind Sebek. He's just nervous holding Beau still.”
Lilia
Raising a child himself was harder than Lilia thought it'd be.
He sighs, bouncing a sobbing baby in his arms and pacing his cottage, “You fuss all day, you cry all night. And you were so cute the first night I had you. Was it all a trick, Silver?” He could only sigh when his reply was a wail.
Switching his hold, Lilia ponders. He's only been personal with five infants — technically four, Sebek's egg was set to hatch late in the Spring— his entire life, and most of them had the surname Zigvolt. And while they had been a wealth of knowledge, he couldn't give Silver over to them every time he cried.
He thought harder, cuddling into a pudding-soft, tear-streaked cheek. How did he calm Malleus again? Pouting, he remembered Boudicca drilling into his mind that Silver could only have milk for a year before he tried to give him solid foods, so bribing him with sweets was out of the question.
The longer he thought, the less he felt his feet touch the ground. An old habit of floating along with his mind. As he felt his back hit the ceiling, he realized Silver had stopped crying. Looking at the child in hand, he was met with wide Aurora eyes.
“Oh? Have we stopped all that crying?” He looked at his surroundings, humming before looking back to Silver, “Do you like this?”
He sits up, fully hanging Silver upside down. The infant babbles, his arms flailing briefly before a giggle bubbles out of him.
“Yes! Laughter! The ceiling is such a fun place, isn't it?” Lilia laughs along with Silver, cuddling into his cheek, “You know I used to hide with Malleus on the ceiling — ”
The cottage door opens, a figure in black stepping through, “Lilia, I've brought what you asked for.”
“Oh! Speak and he shall appear, it seems.” He lifts an arm to wave, realizing too late of the shifting weight in his hold. He just barely misses gripping the back of Silver's nightgown as he slips from his arms and plummets to the floor.
Silence rings in the room; Lilia still on the ceiling, Malleus standing in the doorway with his arms outstretched and Silver floating a foot from the ground, giggling in a green-hued bubble.
…
“Lilia — ”
“My, child rearing is exhilarating.”
“Lilia, this is how you dropped me. Please don't take him on the ceiling again.”
A/N: This chapter turned into a real big boy of a thing. Lots of lore teasers and world-building, though! If you want to be added to a tag list, just ask in replies or dm. Enjoy!
WordCount: 7K
Warnings: Mafia Crimes, Mild Descriptions of Body Disposal, Side-Character Deaths, Allusions to Human Trafficking, Vomit Mention.
Prev/Next
The hum of the vents swallowed any stray noise of the room. The phantom sounds of a blade slicing through flesh itches in the back of Yuu’s mind as she cuts. She pulls the knife away, looking at the exposed bone yet feeling she had still done something wrong. A rubber-gloved hand reaches into the cavity she’d carved, fingers touching at the off-white piece, “Is this good?”
Trey looks from the other side of the table, wiping down a knife on his apron before surveying her progress, “Hmmm. Your cut is nicer, but you're still not getting deep enough to disconnect the bone. Finish up that joint and I'll guide you on the next one.”
“Fucking looking at me…” Yuu sighs, readjusting her goggles as she leans back over the body..
Trey chuckles, placing his section of removed bones on a metal rack, “Yuu, it's a dead body, it doesn't even have a face anymore-”
“Yeah, you never did answer me on where the fuck his face, teeth, and eyes are.” She mutters, trying again to detach the bone and flesh.
“I told you; donated to connections in the medical field.”
“The face and eyes, you haven't said where the teeth went.” Yuu huffs out, attempting to yank the loosened shin bone out from the corpse.
“Oh, I took them out while you were getting your apron and gloves on.”
Yuu does a double take, eyes wide at the nonchalant man, “Fucking- Trey, I was out there for like two minutes and you de-toothed him in that time?”
The man looked away, a hint of embarrassment to his smile as he coughed into his fist, "It's really not that hard…Think of it like cracking eggs: you get better at it with time.”
“Trey, that's fucking horrifying.”
The Heartslabyul family was very eco-conscious, Yuu learned. Though the trail of blood and bodies they left in their wake was minimal, it all went somewhere beneficial. Hair shaved and donated to wig makers, eyes and organs placed on the market for sale. Bones were removed either donated, sold, or ground into bonemeal — teeth separately, apparently.
Ace and Deuce had been the ones to tell her of Heartslabyul’s ‘Recycling Program’. Riddle had made it a rule that everyone started out butchering the ‘lost causes’ of their business — a subtle way of warning where they would end up should they cross him — before being assigned elsewhere in the family. Ace had stated that only the weirder guys in the family stay in the position willingly.
So color her unsurprised when Trey said he routinely went to the plant to help out.
He offered to take her since she didn't have a proper trial period; ‘Really make you part of the family in a way’ he had described it. So she got the tour, put on the protective gear, and was brought to a chilly room with a corpse and an array of butchery tools inside it. Trey explained dismembering the body like one would explain butchering a chicken, talking through where to slice and what connections it severs to make bone removal quick and easy.
Yuu yells out tugging at the shin bone in frustration, “I’m not this stupid; this fucking bone is held on with magic or something!”
“Here, let me help.” Trey chuckles, walking behind and gripping the bone with her.
Yuu is gently jerked around as Trey suddenly twists the bone once, then twice, alternating directions before yanking the shin out in a clean pull.
“There we go.” Trey smiles, looking over the bone, “Ah, you hadn’t actually cut through the tendons by the ankle.”
“That was fucking terrifying, Trey.”
He laughs, placing the shin bone on the rack with the others, “You'll get used to it…probably.”
Shaking her head, Yuu turns her attention to the now supportless leg. She squeezes the leg, pressing the gaping wound open and closed, “So…where’s he off to now that he's deboned?”
“Hm…” Trey grabs the chart on the rack, looking it over before speaking, “Looks like he didn't pass the standards for consumption sale, so he'll be on his way to the boiler to be skinned. From there he'll be made into fertilizer. Perfect timing for Pomefiore’s order next week.”
“Pomefiore? That’s a new name.” She beams, “Oh, is that a mafia family you do business with? What do they do? Cannabilism? Serial killer taxidermy?”
“Calm down.” Trey laughs a bit, “I guess you haven't really gotten a proper intro to everyone we deal with in the city, you wouldn't know anyone if you ran into them…”
“Ooo, info-dump of all the hot mafia goss.”
“Please, don't let Cater rub off on you, okay…?” He gestures for Yuu to help him roll the corpse onto the gurney, “Well, to start, Pomefiore is one of our close alliances; They're an escort circuit. People pay top dollar to sleep with rising starlets after all. Another is Scarabia; they're actually our highest paying customers and even ask Riddle to come up with new blends.”
“If Pomefiore works with movie stars, why do prostitution? Like, same thing, but movie stars get to at least deny it.”
“The don says it's an easy way to gauge the popularity of their actors. The more producers clamoring to spend a night, the higher projected public interest for them. It’s also easy to ensure they’re going to properly advertise their projects if you have some blackmail. Nothing to say about the Oasis?”
“I completely believe the Oasis is a drug den, have you seen the place? Fucking five story warehouse in The Docks with a waitlist to get in.”
“It’s a popular place. Now, Octavinelle isn't so much of an alliance than they are…a collection of acquaintances.”
“The fuck does that mean?”
“It means Octavinelle is a lot of people that either consider us friends or we're fond of. But we don't really do business with them; too many strings…they deal in small loans-”
“Loan sharks, got it.”
“Ignihyde is a quiet bunch. They've got a hand in just a bit of everything, but they mainly deal in cyber information. Diasomnia engages in human trafficking-”
“That's a fucking wild jump.” Yuu exclaims, unlocking the gurney to let it be wheeled out by a Heartslabyul grunt, “One family hacks your discord and the other sells you.”
“More like hacking bank accounts or government data centers. But…yeah, Diasomnia buys and sells people. It's most likely where you would have went if Ruggie had managed to get you in a car.”
“Wow.”
“Don’t worry.” He playful nudged her with his elbow, “Cater’s got a connection in the family, so we would have picked you up before anything happened.”
“Well, what the fuck does Ruggie’s group do other than try to traffic people?”
“Savanaclaw…Savanaclaw does…real-estate? Temp work…? They do a bit of a few things really-”
“It's extortion isn't it?”
“Well, that's a way to put it.” Trey laughs, surprised she had guessed so easily, “Leona’s the don, he actually owns…most of the mid to low price range of public housing buildings in the city. He’s even started a project of townhomes in the Sage Hills.”
“So…he’s a landlord?”
“Yeah, and he can afford to keep the rent dirt cheap on all of his properties. He draws in a lot of downtrodden people, welcomes them into his pack so to say. He just demands utmost respect and loyalty — if he points, you go, kind of deal.”
Snickering, Yuu covers her grin, “Like a pimp-”
“Yuu.” Trey’s voice holds an edge, a rare occurrence. He leans closer to her, staring her down with steely topaz eyes, “I know you’re comfortable with us, and that’s great. You’re part of our family, we take care of each other. Don’t let me catch you being this casual with any of the other families I talked about. We treat you kindly because our first meeting was a blunder on our part. They won’t be as gentle as we were if you show disrespect like you do us…”
“...” Yuu breaks eyecontact, sighing and nodding as she turns to clean off her knife finally, “Okay, I get it. I’ll watch my mouth. I’m not trying to meet anyone; I’m two for two on having to fight for my fucking life everytime I do.”
“Fair…Just keep what I said in mind” Trey relaxes, opening the door to let the next body be brought inside.
He snags the chart as the rack passes, reading it over before sighing, “Great. This one’s got a massive back tattoo.”
Yuu raises an eyebrow, looking down at the body in confusion, “Is that…a problem?”
“Riddle's got this whole thing about tattoos. Processing them the way he prefers when they have them makes it longer than it needs to be. Not to mention he doesn't want anything to do with where the tattoos are. So that's a whole plethora of organs we didn't get to use-”
“That's so easy to fix?”
“...Fix?” He raises a playful eyebrow to her, “Look, we have money but not enough to keep people for rounds of tattoo removals before killing them.”
“Not, like, postmortem. You can fix that.”
“What…are you saying?”
“Here.” She gives a frustrated scoff, rolling her eyes and grabbing a small paring knife from the wall, “Flip him over for me. I'll show you.”
Yuu and Trey were standing outside, still in their aprons but goggles removed. Trey leaned against the wall beside her, a cigarette in the mafioso's shaking hand while he explained the other side of the plant is where their milled items were processed for packaging.
“Yeah, it's all milled out in the countryside, but a bulk of it is sent here-”
A deep purple jeep comes screeching into the lot, just barely squeezing past the still opening rolling gates. Trey steps forward, shielding her behind him as the car comes to a halt facing them trunk first. The engine cuts, the front door swinging open as a figure scrambles out and nearly face planting on the ground.
They were shorter than her, even with the kitten heeled ankle boots on their feet. Light purple hair messy under a laced beret. They were a contained chaos of a person, outfit matching but the jacket was unbuttoned and rumpled as they searched its pockets in a frenzy.
“Ah'm- I'm sorry I'm late!” Big blue eyes turn to Trey as they hold out a crumbled hand written receipt, “I'm here to pick up Pomefiore’s order!”
“...” Taking a slow drag from his cigarette, Trey looks at his watch, raising an eyebrow at the date in the corner, “Pomefiore?”
“Yes! I know I'm late, but please-”
“Pomefiore isn't scheduled for pick up until next week.”
“...” The person’s face pales, expression shifting from worried to distressed, “H-huh?”
“Who are you?” He asks, smoke coming out heavy and curling around them.
Under Trey’s shadow, they shook, hands still gripping onto the paper, “U-um, I’m Epel…Vil-. I'm…I'm fillin’ in while-”
“Oh!” Trey brightens up instantly, laughing as he waves the smoke away from the terrified person, “So sorry. Rook and Vil told me you'd be picking up their order while they're out of the country. Good on you. But, no, your order isn't ready until next week.”
…
Epel lets out a massive sigh, almost bending in half from how low they hung in exhaustion, “Ah keep messin’ up…He's gonna tan mah hide when he comes back…”
Trey pats them on the shoulder, “You’ve managed to stick around this long as Vil’s PA, I think you’re doing just fine. I know Vil’s schedules can look pretty confusing without him walking you through it.”
“Ah should be able to do it alone by now!” Epel yells, ripping the beret off their head and slamming it to the ground, “That no good sour succulent gave me a whole town's worth of errands to do before he came back. He did this horse shit on purpose!”
“Come to our meeting room. I’ll do you a small favor and walk you through it if you have the time — ah.” Trey stops, looking back at Yuu after he double checks his watch, “You said you had classes today, didn’t you?”
“...FUCK!” Yuu starts to frantically shed the apron, struggling to pull off the gloves as she yelled back into the factory for someone to bring her bag.
With a tired sigh, Trey points a confused looking Epel toward a staircase, “Epel, go wait in that room, someone will bring in tea and snacks. Yuu, I’ll bring your purse out, just go wash your hands and shoes so you can get to class.”
Yuu shouts a thank you over her shoulder, already rushing toward the grated water jets to clean the bottoms of her shoes. As Epel ascends the staircase, he gives Trey one last look before muttering under his breath, “Rook was right, he’d be a total step-brother type…”
Yuu saw Ruggie stealing a hotdog as she waited for the train.
She only took notice when hearing his voice, the mocking tone making the hair on the back of her neck stand up and look around. But watching the exchange was almost comical, seeing the scrawny man yap the annoyed vendor's ear off. His boney hands touching and moving over the cart like a curious child, a clear set up for misdirection. She watched, enraptured as Ruggie kept direct eye contact with the yelling man as he made his own hotdog — with every topping at that. Soon Ruggie yielded, holding his free hand up as he backed away from the red faced man with a loaded dog behind his back.
“Okay, okay! Keep your apron on, Paulie, I know when I’m not wanted…” He calls out, smirking and nearly inhaling his food when the vendor looked away.
She would have thought he didn’t see her, maybe didn’t even remember her, but he turns toward her as he passed. Caught mid-chew, he throws a wink and full cheeked grin at her before making his way up the subway stairs and back out onto the city streets.
Part of her wanted to just go home, some paranoid chunk of her brain saying he was in the subway to sabotage the track for whatever reason — keep her quiet. Though the most likely reason would be because she almost brained him with a parmesan jar. But, the thought of skipping classes didn’t hold long. The moment the train pulled to a stop at the platform she rushed in with the crowd on muscle memory.
She wraps her arm around the pole, bag tucked between it and her body as more people piled in. As the train pulled away from the station, the car only mildly dense with passengers, she had a moment to think she’d have a nice easy trip across the city to campus.
“Hey there pretty lady, can I get your number?” a voice asks from beside her.
Can’t have shit in this city
Yuu barely looked over, seeing a taller man leaning into her space with a big smile before she averted her eyes. Sadly, the glance was all he needed to think she was interested.
He steps closer — the scent of his body spray instantly giving her the start of a migraine — trying to get her to look at him again, “Hm, shy are ya? You should come hang out with me and some friends, we’ll show you a fun time.” He laughed, bumping against her lightly.
Yuu kept silent, resigned to the fact her trip was going to be polluted by the creep yapping the whole time. Feeling a hand tug at the belt loop of her skirt, she smacks it away, growing more annoyed at the cooing tone the man gives her in response.
“Come on, what's the harm in your number? Your name?” At her continued silence his joking tone fades, slowly turning sharp, “Hey. Hey, I'm talking to you.”
Yuu couldn't help but roll her eyes. A move that caused the man to grab her roughly by the elbow and tug her back.
“Hey!” She shouts, her free hand gripping onto her bag. She’d…rather not stab someone on the subway, but if push came to shove.
He leaned close, whispering into her ear as she tried to tug away from him and his overbearing cologne, “Listen here, uppity bitch. Just because you-”
“Let go of her.”
Parting through the learned disinterested masses, Yuu recognized the walking wall coming toward them. Jack's stern glare toward the man doing all the intimidation work his ‘built to kill’ physique wasn't.
Yuu takes the man's moment of shocked fear to tug her arm out of his hold, shuffling closer to the silver haired gangster.
With only a mild sputter, the creep speaks, trying to give Jack an equally vicious scowl and failing. He grips the pole, half wrapping an arm around Yuu in the move, “What if I don't feel like it? What are you gonna do, tough guy? Go find your own girl to play with!”
Yuu watches as Jack wraps a leather gloved hand around the subway pole above the man's, the sheer difference in size not lost on any of them. With a slow movement, he leaned closer, lifting the hem of his white tee and flashing the gun strapped to his side.
“Fuck off.”
The man immediately pulled away, eyes frantically going between the gun and Yuu before he turned and disappeared to the other side of the car..
“Stop flashing that fucking thing!” Yuu whispered harshly, yanking his shirt back down. She looked around the train, ensuring the masses were still pretending to not notice, “Jesus, are they just letting you roam wild or something? Even Deuce and Ace know concealed carry means to conceal.”
Jack had the gall to look embarrassed, the tough guy persona fading into the nervous man she met almost a week ago, “I didn't know how else to give him a little scare…he was getting rough with you.”
“Oh he was barely a threat.” At Jack’s pinched expression, she sighs, releasing the grip she has on her bag and returning to a casual stance, “Whatever, thanks for the save. But creeps exist way longer than I’ve known you guys and I can handle myself. Don't go around flashing your gun at people.”
“Yeah, yeah, you're not the boss of me…” He mutters but doesn’t move from semi caging her against the crowd of the train.
“Someone should be…” she thinks to herself before glaring at the man, “Are you guys fucking following me?”
“Wha-”
“First Ruggie on the station and now you're in the car. If your don is trying to intimidate me into silence or whatever, I think you need to be talking to Riddle.”
“N-no! I mean I don't think. Ruggie was on the platform — Damn, I missed my stop… Leona hasn't said anything to me at least…” Jack rubs the back of his head pulling out his phone to double check he wasn't meant to be doing anything.
“Oh my God, you’re a trainwreck…” Yuu mutters.
Yuu breathes out as she walks into the lecture hall, passing by chatting groups as she sat in the far back of the raiser desks. Items removed from her bag and placed on her desk space, she scrolled through her phone. She saved and replied to texts from various Heartslabyul members, most asking for a room cleaning, but Ace and Deuce were photos of the two of them playing with Grim. Her attention was stolen as a napkin folded cookie was waved in her line of sight. Looking up, she was greeted with bright blue hair, neon yellow eyes, and a smiling pale face.
“Hi Yuu! How was your weekend?” Ortho beams, his own cookie half eaten in hand.
“Good; I got a lot of chores done.” She accepts the cookie, scootting over to ensure Ortho had plenty of room as he sat beside her, “How was yours? You said you were going around the city again.”
“Yeah. I went to that new art museum that opened in the Strats! There were so many cool local artists there to show off their art, it was such a fun time. We should go together next weekend.”
Yuu laughs, breaking the cookie into fours before eating them, “Maybe. Been busy lately…”
Ortho was nice, aggressively so. He latched onto her the moment he realized they shared more than two classes together and had become her permanent seat mate. The only real pet peeve was his insistence on inviting her everywhere he went every weekend. While the first few weeks of hanging outside of classes with Ortho was fun, she quickly learned the boy somehow never experienced burnout in any capacity.
He pulls out his personal laptop, tilting his head at her in confusion, “Hmm, how so? You haven't been at the cafe the past few months, what's taking up your time?”
“Oh, I got a new freelance job. Less hours but the schedule is ‘flexible’ so it's been all over the place.”
“Boo. But they respect your class times, right? Let’s skip a day and go have fun instead.”
Yuu raises an eyebrow at him, smiling back at his excited expression, “With all I pay for classes? Hell no.”
“Boo. But what are you doing now anyway?”
“Sorry, can't really talk about. NDA’s and all that.”
“Oooooh…”
The professor walks in, placing their items down and causally conversing with a few students before calling their attention to begin the lesson. The chatty atmosphere quiets as everyone starts to take notes or move their conversations to text. As she’s highlighting a term in her notes, a small thought blinks in then out. She’s not sure if she’s ever actually seen Ortho around the cafe, let alone inside it…
It's nearly four in the god damn morning when her phone rings.
For a brief few seconds she wakes up from a dead sleep, confusion thick before realizing her phone was buzzing. The first thing she does is check the time, swear, then pick her phone up to softly chew Riddle out for ruining a perfect rim sleep. Then she sees It's an unknown number, so she denies it and goes right back under her sheets.
And then they call back, same unknown number, same move of dismissal.
And then she repeats that process eight more times.
Giving up, Yuu hysterically whispers into the phone “What? What the fuck do you want-”
“If this is your fucking customer service, I'm already getting a refund.” Leona’s voice comes through the receiver, annoyed and somehow more sleep deprived than her.
…
“I…Why are you calling me?”
“Why do you think I’m calling you?” He scoffs “Wake up, I need you for a job, ASAP.”
“How the fuck did you get my number-”
“Jack should be outside by now. Just bring your cleaning junk and get here.”
The line goes dead before she could drill him for more info. Climbing from her bed she looks out her bedroom window, groaning at seeing Jack below and straddling a motorcycle. He tilts his head up to her, his face hidden under the helmet but he throws her thumbs up.
No use pretending to not see him.
Outside clothing thrown on, she grabbed a backpack and started to shove whatever she could think to need in it. She poured food into Grim’s bowl, leaving in his scramble for early breakfast and making her way to the alley. Jack doesn’t greet her, silently handing her a helmet and peeling off once she was secured on the bike.
They ride in silence, the calm backdrop of the light glittered city passing them by. She watches the view change into downtown, then to uptown; past the bougie venues of the Strats and into the Hills.
Luckily, it wasn’t into one of the gated communities, but into a concerning amount of identical cream and red-bricked townhouses they pass by in a blur. They stop somewhere in the middle of the field, directly in front of a unit with a small plastic playset in the manicured front yard — the only personal touch for the eye to see.
Yuu climbs off the motorcycle, removing her helmet and looking up at the unassuming home. Feeling pressure on the small of her back she whips around helmet poised to swing. Jack holds a hand up, mock surrender, before lightly nudging her again toward the house with the playset.
“Dude, what am I supposed to be doing? Like a full job cleaning with removal? Because I didn’t bring the shit for that. I don’t have body bags or a saw-”
Jack only continued to point her to the house before he grew frustrated and removed his helmet, “Look, I don’t know why Leona called for you, but he did. So just go in the house or I’m making you go in.”
“Oh. Great; he’s killing me. I didn’t even do anything!”
Jack stared at her bewildered, “Why do you think he’s gonna kill you?”
“You’re the fucking mafia? It’s literally what you get paid to do?”
Before Jack could respond, the front door swung up. Leona comes tearing across the lawn, slippers on his feet, hair a mess, and barely in a robe. He rattles off a list of things at her, snatching the helmet from her hands and climbing onto the back of the motorcycle.
Yuu tugs at the back of his robe, knowing she only has moments before Jack’s full throttle take off, “Hold on! No. You tell me what I’m doing, that’s how this fucking works. What am I supposed to be doing here? Where even am I?”
Leona snatched the back of his robe out of her hands, staring her down and pointing to the open doorway, “Just clean him up!”
With that he put on the helmet she had worn and slapped Jack on the arm. With a roar of the engine, the two of them were out of sight before she knew it.
…
She throws her hands up, pacing in a small circle before looking toward the ominously opened door. Groaning into the palm of her hand she walks toward the house and pulls out her phone, dialing Riddle.
He picks up on the third ring, “Yuu? Good morning, I suppose, what is the manner of your call?”
“Hey, so…Leona kind of had me dropped off somewhere in the Hills for a job? I'd like something of a heads up if you're giving my number out.”
“I did not give him your number — He called you?”
Yuu walks into the townhouse, closing the door behind her and locking it, “Yeah, said he had a job and didn't give me anything other than ‘Just clean him up’.”
“Who is ‘him’?”
“Riddle, why do you think I know?”
Looking around, the home matched the tax bracket it was built into. Filled with simple furnishings, but decorated with geometric patterns and gold accents. The warmth of the color palette only coming across stronger with the children's toys scattered on the living room floor. but even with the toys, the house felt strangely empty and staged, the walls and shelving empty of any actual personal touches.
“I think he dropped me at his sidepiece's house? Or a showroom, but there are kid toys everywhere…” She mutters to herself picking up an action figure, “Does he think I'm an actual cleaning company…?”
“Bucchi owns a home?”
“What-” a small, wet cough makes her still, looking over her shoulder hearing the sound repeat.
Standing at the base of the stairs, face flushed and wet with tears was a little boy — barely taller than her knee. The kid in front of her was coated in a dark goo, the stain smeared over his chest and seeming to have pooled in his lap. Standing silent, trying to figure out from a distance what the kid was covered in, Yuu flinches when cries fill the room — the kid’s fists balled up to his face as he wailed.
“Riddle, I'll call you back.” She hung up at the beginning of his reply, quickly kneeling down to be on level with the child and less of a threat, “Nonono, no crying. Hey buddy, it's okay, I'm not here to hurt you.”
The kid steps toward her in a half wobble, luckily wanting comfort more than actually being afraid of her. Sniffling, he grips the sleeves of her shirt, “I frew up…want unca…”
Unca — she cooed, rubbing the kid’s back, “Yeah, I can see that; it's all over ya bud. Lucky you, he called me to clean you all up.”
“Where's unca…?”
“...Went to get medicine, I think?”
The child stomped his foot, a pitiful whine to his voice as his little fit made him slump to the floor, “No…icky…icky…feel icky…”
“I bet you do.” Yuu sighs, lifting the kid into her arms and onto her hip, “Let's get you cleaned up.”
“Noooo. Stranger danger.” he mutters, rubbing his face into the crook of her neck.
“Oh, you're so smart. That's right, don't trust strangers. We'll do a quick sink-shower instead of a bath.” She checks his forehead, clicking her tongue at the fever, “A nice cool sink shower in the kitchen.”
One toweled down toddler later, Yuu had him cleaned and sitting on the counter in her t-shirt. On one side of the sink, his patterned PJs soaked in warm soapy water while the other was occupied as a spit bucket.
The kid spits the warm salt water into the drain, blowing a raspberry at the taste, “Salty…”
“I know, bud. But we wanna rinse your mouth before your teeth get any damage.”
“I'm Cheka.” He speaks around a mouthful of water, gurgling loudly before spitting that into the sink as well.
“Hi Cheka. Is the water helping your throat feel better too?”
“Yeah.” He gurgled again, mouth open to show the bubbles before half spilling it down his front, “I threw up.”
“Yeah, where did you do that?” Yuu wrings the PJs out, happy at the cleaner state of them, “Might as well clean that up while I'm here, too…”
PJs placed to soak in fresh water, she was led upstairs to a door with a wooden cut out sign of Cheka in bright bubble letters. Opening the door she wants to call Leona and just yell, demand answers and a pay advance. The bedroom was cute, more decorated and lived-in than any other area of the house; an assortment of stuffed animals from the Lion King crowding one side of the child’s bed. But, in a near straight line from the edge of the bed to the opposing wall was a stream of berry-shaded vomit. The splatter of it violent against the cream colored walls and managing to travel to the ceiling. Not to mention the sheer volume of it all.
She looks at Cheka, concern clear in her tone as she takes in all three feet of his being, “Bud, what the fuck did you eat?”
“I had grape juice.”
“...” Yuu sighs, shaking her head and gesturing Cheka to the hopefully clean pile of stuffed animals, “Pick a buddy for the couch. You're gonna hang out there while I try to get this cleaned up…”
Cheka went to sleep almost the second she placed a cool towel on his head, snuggled up with a stuffed animal of Scar and under the decorative blanket from the couch. Making sure the front door was locked for her own peace of mind her next stop was the kitchen. After some looking she found a nearly full box of baking soda in the empty fridge.
There was no telling how long the vomit had set before Yuu had gotten to it, but she'd try to get it all out before too lasting damage could happen. She bloated the still wet slurry, happy to see it was purely liquid rather than chunky. While the baking soda set, she stripped the bed and began a second hunt for a laundry area. For such a fancy residence, it was still bare bones in the most annoying way.
She made do soaking the duvet in the deep bathtub with some soap she had brought from her home. Then, finally, she could address the wall. Wiping it down, taking care to not spread the vomit anymore than it already had, she pulled a bottle of vinegar from her bag and made a solution. Ten minutes of scrubbing later, the wall was basically brand new compared to the art project it had started as.
While she's looking for a vacuum downstairs, the front door clicks open.
Leona was huffing, a designer looking bag clutched in his hands as he shoved past her and up the stairs without a word. She raises an eyebrow when he suddenly stomps back down, glaring at her.
“Where-”
“Kid’s in the living room. Didn't want him in the room while I was cleaning.” she watches, fighting a smile when Leona kneels beside Cheka and wakes him gently.
Blinking open his eyes, Cheka smiles and reaches out to the mobster instantly, “Unca!”
Leona lets Cheka climb into his lap, rolling his eyes but using an arm to steady him, “Yeah, I got your stupid medicine. So you're gonna take this and shut up.”
“No…say please. Be nice.”
“Cheka just take your medicine, I'm not doing this with you again.”
The conversation fades when she finds a little handheld vacuum deep in a box filled hall closet. Going back up stairs she vacuums up the baking powder and scoffs at the noticeable discoloration. She had just started scrubbing when Leona stood in the doorway.
“You’re done, Jack'll take you home.” He grumbled, exhaustion bleeding through with an asleep Cheka held in one arm.
“I just- you know what, fine.” She huffs, standing up and gesturing to the carpet, “You're gonna want to shampoo the floor for sanitation, at least. It might be a loss cause color-wise.”
“I'll just put a new carpet down, the place is due for it anyway…”
‘It's barely lived in…’ Yuu thinks to herself.
She keeps her mouth shut, gathering her few items and shoving them back in her backpack before standing, "Cheka's blanket is in the bathtub and his PJs are in the kitchen sink. Rinse them a second time and if it doesn't look right, put them through the washer and that should do it.” She stands before Leona, hand held up.
“...” He narrows his eyes at her, “What?”
She raises an eyebrow, “My payment?”
“You had to get called like twelve times. Your payment is I let you walk out of here.”
“I don't do business with you normally. I still did what you asked of me, plus cleaned up the vomit, and he's in my clothes. I've gone above and beyond!" Seeing Leona not move, she scoffs, muttering under her breath as she walked past him, “See if I fucking do another job then…”
“Ugh.” He rolls his eyes, breathing out a sharp sigh as he turns around and walks to the next door of the hall. He reappears just as she was at the doorway, shoving a watch case into her hands, “Here, I don't keep cash on me.”
‘Why?’
“Fine. It'll do for this job, but I take cash as payment for my services.” She looks toward Cheka, smiling and pinching the sleeping toddler on the cheek, “Payment in baby and watch, but only this once.”
Leona slaps her hand from Cheka, fully turning away from her, “Whatever. Just get out of here.”
Jack drove her back home, the city even more picturesque as the sunrise bled warm tones over the buildings. He pulled to a stop in the alleyway, tilting the bike low to help her dismount easily. With a friendly pat to his helmet, Jack gave her a salute and zipped around the corner. Walking into her apartment, she snorted. Ace and Deuce crowded onto her couch and snoring away, Grim loafing comfortably on Deuce’s chest. She sets her coffee machine to have a pot in an hour, the smell sure to wake the two once ready. Now, sitting on her bed, she pulls the case from her backpack and gives the watch a proper look.
She had barely glanced at it when Leona shoved it into her hands, but it was high quality. Like really high quality — like, sell your house to buy it high quality.
The first clue was the three crescent moon logo on the case, no name printed. She had seen it plenty of times growing up, only knowing it as a very exclusive brand called Eclipse; that alone was enough to not even open the box. A simple design with a gold face and shiny dark brown leather strap, but the closer she looked the more she saw. The white face of the watch was slightly translucent, allowing the small gears to be visible as the gold hands tick steadily. The rim was craved on inspection, strong and parallel patterns giving it a deeper dimension than it possessed. For every interval of the dark printed roman numerals, a small glittering diamond sat adjacent.
She stares at the watch, wondering just how much money Leona even had if he was willing to part with an accessory from Eclipse like it was babysitting money. Falling back onto her comforter, she stared up at her ceiling with the case clutched to her chest. She couldn’t even sell this. Fancy watch aside, Eclipse items weren’t something to be put into the public market. Should she do such a thing, the company would hunt her down faster than a rat does a crumb of food. She’s almost certain they’d kill someone for putting a piece from one of their collections into the hands of ‘The Poors’.
Keeping it was just as bad, no doubt at some point Ace or Deuce would find it and take it to wear without her noticing. The small selection of options quickly crossed off in her mind she groaned, pulling out her phone and dialing a number she always hated calling.
Two rings and the phone picks up, the jovial tone of her dad coming through, “Oh, my little chickadee! How-”
“Hey dad. Before you fucking start; I'm fine, just getting up early. I'm eating all my fruits and vegetables and taking my vitamins. Classes are going fine. I don’t need money. No, I don't have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or a non-binary love buddy. No one is bothering me. And no I'm not moving in with you. Did I get everything?”
“...” She could physically hear him shuffling over the line, muttering under his breath before responding in a more subdued tone, “What do you need, sweetie?”
“You know anyone looking for a fancy wrist watch, no strings attached?” She asks, holding the watch case up and seeing how it glittered in the sunrise.
“Oh? Tell me more.”
Trey let himself into Cater’s apartment, the redhead in his sleepwear and giggling on his couch. He closes the door behind him, “Hey Cater, are you busy?”
“Ah, I’m on a call. One second.” He turns on his TV, the screen cycling through settings before the image of a pale man fills it. His long, electric-blue dyed hair was pulled up, showing off his pale-blond roots and neon yellow eyes. Cater smiles, cooing at the nervous looking man, “Idia, say hi~!”
“Hey, Trey…”
“Hey, Idia. This is perfect actually, have you made any progress on Yuu's background check? I have a few questions…”
Idia’s nervous energy instantly fades, leaving him to glare and sneer as he clicks his tongue, “Don’t…get me started on that…Annoying rage bait shit is what it is…”
“You still can't find anything?” Cater asks bewildered, sharing a look with Trey at the news.
“No, I got all her stuff. Name, phone, residence, social security number, banking and routing numbers; that was easy, she goes to college with my brother for Christ sake.” He slams his hand on his desk, rolling his eyes as he starts to get frustrated all over again, “Hell, I have her next pap smear appointment queued up. The issue is finding anything before she entered the city.”
Trey’s eyebrows creased, “What?”
“I had to get word of mouth info from Ortho! And all he could concretely give me is that she has two dads, she moved a lot growing up, and was homeschooled. Funny enough? Her name doesn't show up in any homeschool records for the past 20 years, everyone I’ve found with her last name doesn’t match visually wise. But she obviously has access to get a legit transcript because some of the classes she and Ortho take require one! I literally can't find the bitch earlier than her 18th birthday and a lease was accepted in her name.”
Cater turned on the couch, tilting his head at the now thinking Trey, “Why do you ask? You didn't even want us snooping before…”
“Well, she…kind of scared me today?”
“Ah, about time you got a ‘Yuuscare’. Mine was her driving…” Cater muses, remembering the one time he let her drive and she drove directly into oncoming traffic to ‘shave time’.
“What happened?”
“So, one of the bodies we were processing today had a massive back tattoo, and you know Riddle.”
Cater sighs, rolling his eyes, “He doesn't want the ink to ‘mess with the boiler’. Don't know how many times I gotta tell him that's not how tattoos work…”
“Yeah, she fixed it…”
“Fixed what? She change the filter or something?" Idia muses.
Trey quiets, recounting the memory in detail, “No. His back. She…she just shrugged and said ‘Oh, I can fix that’, grabbed a knife, made four quick cuts, and then just yanked his backskin off in one go.”
…
Cater and Idia looked to each other, the visual hitting them both at the same time. The idea of it, while possible, didn't seem real. Turning back to Trey, Cater raised an eyebrow, “She what?”
Trey shrugged, a small part of him validated they were just as shocked as he was, “She was proud! Said she'd only know what to do in theory. But she'd seen her dad do it ‘plenty of times’…”
…
“Is…is her dad a serial killer?”
“...” Idia turned away on the screen, starting to rapidly type at a second monitor, “Wait, that may be helpful.”