siriussblax:
“That’s not what i meant” He said, his teeth suddenly gritted. He spoke lowly, though audibly. He raised his gaze and fixed on Gab’s own eyes, his dark hues narrowing ever so slightly. “I never said that you have it better than me.” He thought better of telling her that he had been home during his week away. That his father had given him one last chance to come back, and honestly, he didn’t remember much of the visit, possibly because his father had once again used the imperious curse on him, and god only knows what he had made him do. Sirius didn’t want sympathy from anyone, he didn’t even know how to tell Remus or James, never mind Gabs. He breathed in deeply, though his gaze never faltered. “I’m not worried. I’m heart broken.” He finally said. “And i’m not feeling sorry for myself, but for Andi and Regulus who have all this to come, who don’t understand the first thing about what my father is capable of.” He spoke calmly and low, never raising his voice. “I couldn’t care less if they don’t want me, I don’t want them. I just don’t want them to hurt my brother or Andi. I’m not ungrateful, I just don’t want any of it.”
Perhaps it was lost in translation, but Gabriella pressed her lips together when Sirius spoke, because to her, it did sound like despite the fact that the potters happily took him in, he was looking back to a family that put him through hell. “Andi and Regulus can take care of themselves. Andi more likely, but Regulus is smart. Yes, he’ll have a little hell, but give him a bit more credit, yeah? Worrying about them is nice and all, but you had it the worst and you got out, no one else in that family is going to get it worst than you had. So..” Gabriella shrugged, “whatever, spend christmas with them or don’t, either way, do whatever you want.”
