Txts with Frnds

Out of context texts because they're too fun not to share

[txts-with-frnds]

“I am not in a well, but thank you for checking on me. If I had been in a well, it would have been good to know you were coming”

[txts-with-frnds]

“So just so you know, if you ever try to ice skate through my apartment, I might not speak to you for a few days”

[txts-with-frnds]

H: This is a test

Me: Of our friendship? Of my kpop knowledge? I am in suspense

[txts-with-frnds]

“I am legitimately so happy, do you want me to Venmo you like a dollar to show how much I appreciate this?? Cuz I will”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Glad to know my parents drinking habits will keep you attached to me for all of time”

[txts-with-frnds]

“The words “deceivingly healthy” just fit when I think of you”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Unfortunately my previous blessing does not carry over until today, so my new blessing is: I hope you have a wondrous food coma”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Yes well when it came up I thought “Who would appreciate gay space the most?” and I felt it was you. I was uncertain on your appreciation of long-ass video essays concerning the cousins of flat-earthers, the geocentrists”

[txts-with-frnds]

H: I’ve given it some thought and determined that we are, in fact, friends

Me: Oh good, because I’ve already started writing friendship poetry

[txts-with-frnds]

“Consuming too much fiction is not necessarily a detriment, you are now very well equipped to survive in a simulation”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Hypothetically, if I mentioned fish and/or seals in a convo with you before we were friends, would you have been more interested in becoming friends with me”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Wait did you think that I was telling people I fished seals? I didn’t know you had that impression of me”

[txts-with-frnds]

“There’s just something oddly attractive about a woman who could end you but chooses not to because she loves you”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Bad ass woman with a fan? Step on me”

[txts-with-frnds]

“Bad erotica!? How rude. Signior Dildo is peak smut”

[txts-with-frnds]

Me: I’m telling you, too close to both the city of Troy and Troy Bolton

H: And we all know you can’t trust Troy Bolton. A man who wants to play basketball AND sing??

[txts-with-frnds]

“Plus, Trey is close to Troy and Troy was a city sacked because of their idiocy”