absolutely not.

Tyson Dobbs. 27. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

His brows furrowed, hers lifted in return. She didn’t know what it was she had implied, other than a joke of a life without Tyson that would change everything and at the same time nothing. She was his, end of, no two ways about it. He leaned in, delivering on the kiss she had asked for, their bodies seemingly going off of muscle memory and knowing exactly what to do. And then Tyson winced and pulled back and so did Sasha, only to laugh a moment later. “Yeah. Wait, let’s switch.” Giving him space to pull back before sitting upright, bodies rearranging themselves until it was her leaning over him to kiss him again as her fingertips ghosted over the hem of his sweatpants. And then gripped, pulled them down together with his underwear, doing her best to keep everything soft so his ribs wouldn’t complain. She pulled back and she was finally seeing him again for the first time since that funeral of their trip they’d had in that parking lot, almost tearing up again. Her hand wrapped around him and he was warm and didn’t fit in her palm. Again. Her eyes lifted to his face and then back, and she leaned in, lips landing on his stomach, kissing every bruise on her trail down while her hand kept giving him slow strokes.

He finally lay back, head against his pillow, in a position that didn’t hurt as much as sitting up or bending over. Screw his stupid, slow-healing body. It had been over two weeks already and yet the pain persisted, seemed to have no end in sight to it. Not just his ribs, but the slow ache in his left shin too, where they’d kicked him, hard. He didn’t tell Sasha about that one though, scared if he said too much maybe she’d stop this altogether for his own wellbeing and he didn’t want that. He wanted to get to be with his girlfriend, goddammit. Watching her undress him, kiss him all down his body while she made her way to his cock, kissing every bruise and yellowed blooming cut, he could only feel the love. None of the pain. “I love you so much,” he mumbled, soft, before all he could do was sigh and let out a moan from her lips around his head. He had imagined this, earlier when he had been texting her, but of course the real deal was a thousand times better.

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

The hand still on his arm let go, lifting to hold the side of his face instead, cupping a warm, wet cheek. His voice sounded soft to her, full of tears he blinked back, her own building up again at the sound alone. And then the words that trickled out so slowly registered, and Sasha struggled to bite back a sob. You’re still my girlfriend. To me. It felt like the oxy played tricks, like she had unknowingly OD’ed after that awkward, depressing reunion at the pizza place and was now fever dreaming her way to the good place. But she wasn’t. She laughed into his hand, shook her head against it. “You thought I might not want that? Really?” The tears kept coming, she couldn’t blink them back fast enough. “Think in my — my heart and shit… I never really stopped. Even if you’d had enough and never was my boyfriend again… think I’d always be yours.” A swallow, salt on the back of her throat. “Get down here then. Your girlfriend wants a kiss. From her boyfriend.”

His brows knitted themselves together listening to her, his face now fear and worry at what she said, the part about if he never was her boyfriend again. “Kinda implies I’d be someone else’s.” Didn’t it? “Can’t really see that.” Not now, nor ever again. His heart, its pumping slowed by the slowing agent coursing through him, but he suddenly felt like it was going fast again. From the excitement he felt. He sank down onto her, leaning into a kiss, soft but more intense as the seconds passed, his bare chest pressing to hers, until. Ah. A soft gasp, a twist that he could feel hurt somewhere inside of him. Maybe doing this was not such a great idea. “You think you can get on top?” he asked, pulling back a little, laughing somewhat. They were both in a banged up shape. It was almost funny, if it wasn’t so depressing. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

Sasha watched as he pulled back to tug his shirt off, the buildup of anticipation momentarily halting when she saw, only to pick up again with the next beat of her heart. She couldn’t control the wince but she caught herself from reaching out. Not saying anything, just lifting her hands, body arching underneath him to help Tyson take her own shirt off this time, the reach causing dull stings where her own bruises were healing but it was only a ghost of how much they used to hurt. And not a bad tradeoff in the end. He was worth all that and more. Sasha looked up, her eyes on Tyson’s as they took each other in, staring at the consequences of their actions. She wondered if they were thinking the same thing. And then he lowered himself on top of her again, kissing her heart. His heart, hell only knew. She couldn’t look away, absorbing everything, hoping to never forget. When he pulled back again there was a darkness in his eyes that made her shiver in surrender, in adoration. “Uh-huh.” Hands braced on his arms and she nodded, again and again. “All yours.” She could feel her blood thrumming in her ears, a tide rising under her skin to reach the moon hovering over her. He had never looked more beautiful. She had never loved him more, belonged to him more. One of her hands let go of his arm, moving to rest instead on top of his own on her breast. He said it again and a single tear ran down his face to land on her own, like rain where nothing grew. Sasha pressed her lips together trying to hold her own tears back, failed miserably and teared up in return. “I love you too.” The hand around his tightened. “Can’t you tell?” He must have known, right? He must have known that beat was still going only because he willed it to. “Yours.” A sniffle. “Always yours.”

He smiled amidst the tears, themselves an infrequent visitor to his life but somehow with Sasha, they were always ready to surface. Especially lately. He laughed too, sniffling just like her, his warm hands gentle on her body so he wouldn’t hurt her. His fragile porcelain doll. “This is probably bad timing and —I mean, I don’t even know if you want to, but...” He swallowed, more tears filling his eyes which he blinked away fast. “Feel free to say no, won’t be hurt feelings either way. But you know...” Get it out already, for crying out loud. “You’re still my girlfriend. To me. If —if you want that.” One of his hands came up to her face, wiping her own tear away. God he loved this girl so much, he was ready to kill and die for her.

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

“Really”, she confirmed, the beginnings of a smile now visible, amused at his surprise. She was a little surprised too, all told, but more at herself than the clientele. Not hard to please normally, but then it was harder than usual to relax tonight when her mind was in Chicago and whatever may or may not have been happening there. “Yeah”, she agreed, lifting to kiss him again. She had a lot of unkissed days to make up for. “Or you.” Thinking he must have been in worse pain than she was. She could feel him against her flesh, her lower half not even asking her brain when her hips rolled to rub where he was poking her. “How’s the ribs? Want me to ride you?”

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “Sounds good.” It probably made more sense, to have her on top. “Don’t feel much right now, but... yeah. Probably a good idea.” He used his good hand to tug his shirt off, revealing a map of yellowed bruises that were on their way to healing, dotted across various parts of his chest. Hoping she would ignore that. Then he pulled off her shirt too and saw an almost matching picture there, which made him frown. There and gone for a second. His hand delicately running down her frame, grazing her body as she lay underneath him. He bent down and kissed her, in the middle of her chest, where her heart should be. His lips connecting with skin and trying to see if he could feel her heartbeat with them. He thought he could. “You’re still mine,” he said when he pulled back. Eyes hard and beady, jet black even though normally they were blue, heavy with intent. “Don’t care who touches you, I get the part of you no one can touch.” And he put his hand over her heart, spreading his fingers, brushing the tips with the side of her breast. She was beautiful, even bruised like this, even in the sad, fucked up condition they both were in. “I love you.” A tear fell from his eye and landed on her cheek. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

Right as she was fully getting into it, right as she was starting to feel that he was too, Tyson pulled back. Sasha looked up at him, confused for a moment before realizing what he meant. Her eyes dropped between them. “I don’t mind.” It was the truth. “Didn’t cum all night.” A breath, slow and reluctant. “And I missed you.” But maybe his ribs hurt him too much to even let her on top, the thought one she hadn’t considered before. “Wait, you sure you wanna?”

“Really,” he said, somewhat surprised. Maybe he had a lot more to learn about her job. He couldn’t imagine being a girl and being with 7 guys in the night and not one of them managing to get him off. But maybe it was different with her. Maybe that changed when you did it night after night. He winced again, thinking about how much she was putting herself through on a nightly basis. He hated it. But again — nothing to be done there. Not yet. “I missed you too,” he returned, softly and easily. Of course he had. He hadn’t seen any action in weeks, not that he’d even been in the slightest mood for it, but now she was here, he was certainly feeling that desire. He was sure she could feel it too, poking her. Tyson laughed a bit. “Yeah. ‘Course I wanna. Only if it doesn’t hurt you, ‘kay? If it does, we stop.” That was the only condition he wouldn’t be alright with, and knowing her tendency to self martyr he wouldn’t put it out of the question that Sasha might do that, put herself through pain just so he could enjoy himself. But he didn’t want that. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

And there it was, that spark of fully being in sync with each other, there one second and gone the next but one second was enough to drive the point home. It almost felt like a message, an omen. Sasha shook her head and pressed her lips together. “If you cry I’ll cry too.” But hell, right now she didn’t mind that part. Right now she didn’t mind anything, just glad she didn’t follow the self-destructive impulse to get up and leave. The thought alone made her pull closer to Tyson, pressing herself on his good side right as he moved her way too and next minute their lips were clashing and Tyson was leading and Sasha was following along and feeling herself getting lowered on the bed until her head found a pillow. There only was a single thought there, a worried one about his ribs as he leaned over her, a hand moving to hover by his side without ever touching him and a careful muffled in the kiss.  And I love you even more than that. Sasha laughed, his lips landing on her neck and sending tickles through her when they did and she lifted her knees to shelter him between. “Yeah, right, you wish”, she gasped as she felt a hand inside her shirt, one of her own moving on top of it over the fabric to guide even higher.

He felt her hand over his and he squeezed her breast more, getting lost, in that state again when he was texting her, high and horny and wanting her bad, semi-hard. But also feeling bad. His hand eased up from her breast and his lips pulled away from her skin as he pulled back to look her in the eyes. “What about tonight?” He asked, meaning everything she’d done. Surely at the very least she must be sore all over, wanting rest? He was really alright with that. Of course he was. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

Well. If she was longing for what used to be she had it here and now, didn’t she? That was how they were before they left. Now she almost wanted to laugh. Instead she shook her head. “Dunno how to put it in words. Just had a moment.” Her eyes stayed fixed on his hands, feeling stupid as the air cleared, that she let whatever that was show, that she felt it in the first place. “I wasn’t lying tonight. At the parking lot. I love you even more than I did when we left.”

They hadn’t known each other long. Not when you stacked up all the time they’d spent in each other’s company, but otherwise? It felt like they’d gone through eternity and back together. It was weird, that feeling. From day one he’d felt drawn to her, inexplicably. Felt at peace around her, memories of them sitting in the open field in Park Ridge, his head on her lap, talking about how expensive the houses there must be. Everything that their lives had been and oh, there had been a lot. Talk of the future, how they were going to spend the rest of their lives, the places they’d live and travel— no. He shouldn’t think of those. But he understood. Understood how she could have a moment, because all he’d been having since they got back were ‘moments’. Moments when he missed her, moments when he thought about her. She was every third thought on his mind and every second non-painful breath in his lungs. She was everything to him, and if he’d done any sketches in the interim that he’d been back, he was sure that she would spring out of the ink of his fountain pen. That was all there was to it. “Now you’re gonna make me cry,” he said, smiling. He dropped the finished joint on the tray without lighting it, crawled his way over to Sasha and kissed her. Enough to push her down on the bed, against his pillows. His body on hers and for now he didn’t think about what hurt because nothing hurt, nothing could hurt because there was just Sasha. “And I love you even more than that,” he whispered in the close space between their faces once they caught a breath. Because he did. Love her that much. His lips travelled to her jaw and down her neck, and ever so gradually his hand slipped inside her shirt. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

She tried to make the urge go away, choosing to focus instead on the motions of Tyson’s hands as he put the blunt together. Wanting nothing but to be normal, because this was still something, it was still much more than the nothing she had the last two weeks and definitely much more than whatever Frank used to sustain her with. And he already was twice the man Frank was. “Mm. I’d like to see you try”, she grinned back.

She was faking it. He could tell. There was a smile but it didn’t seem genuine, not like the genuine smile he remembered from once upon a time. It felt a touch more forced, at least that much he could tell. “Aight, you tell me what’s wrong or I’m smoking this whole thing by myself,” he threatened. It was shitty weed, he could already tell, so maybe that wasn’t the threat he tried to make it out to be, licking the underside of the paper.

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

Maybe it was for the better that he didn’t know what she meant. Hell, in a way she hadn’t wanted him to, or so she thought, but now that it had actually happened there was a voice in her head reminding her of a time when he did. A different voice insisting that it took less than a month to get there, a third prophesizing that the connection wouldn’t ever come back, and for a second there was nothing but a solid need to go home. She let go of his face and leaned back. “Nothing.” She didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Just to smoke, if it was on the table. “Oh. Yeah. Please.”

She switched off again just like that, and Tyson was left puzzled. Reaching across the bed to pull open the bottom drawer of his night stand, he took out a rolling tray and kit that had seen better days. The weed was more crust than dank, but it was whatever. It would have to do for now. “You better tell me,” he said, the smirk still on his face, refusing to let anything turn this into a bad night. The high was already hitting and he wanted to enjoy it. “Or I’ll get it out of you some other way.” Threatening with a wiggle of his eyebrows, looking her way as he piled bits onto a rolling paper held together between two pencils. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

She could still feel the powder burning through her nostrils, the beginnings of a tingly warmth rising that could have easily been nothing more than her anticipation. It was well needed either way. She closed her eyes and smiled. “Careful what you wish for. ‘Cuz I might. When you’re all good again.” Her eyes stayed closed, even when Tyson’s hands were on her face and his lips on her lips, feeling everything louder for it. A lifetime since their last kiss in the parking lot, or so it felt, and an eternity since the last time they had shared a bed. Her own hands were on his face now, holding him gently as she pressed her forehead to his. “Did you — ”, miss me, miss me, did you miss me?

He felt like he was being given something, in that kiss, and maybe it was so. He sure felt like there was a lot more behind it than a simple kiss, both sets of lips yearning for more before an untimely breaking apart. “Did I, what?” he asked, searching her eyes. Once upon a time he could read her better, but somehow, over time that connection had become strained, if not broken. He leaned back a little more, something glinting in his eyes. “Hey, you wanna smoke?” he suggested, in a way that meant he wanted to. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

For a fraction of a second it was almost like they’d never really left, like this was just another night of meeting up after work to do lines and be together. Sasha inhaled her share greedily, a long look in Tyson’s eyes as she did like a wordless thank you and she leaned back on the mattress with a couple snorts more, swallowing back the leftover dust. “Mm. If anyone had to watch me twerk and shit I’d be the one to have to pay. They’d call the police.”

“Now that just sounds sexy,” Tyson said, sure they’d had this conversation before. And yet he loved it every time. “I’d love to see you do your criminal twerk on me.” He was in a good mood now, made better by both the drugs and her. That was always the case.  Pushing residue up his nose with a swipe of his hand and a sniffle, he let it all settle and wash over him real good. And then he set aside the mirror he’d used to cut up the lines, took her face in his hand and pulled Sasha in for a kiss. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

She nodded, deciding that was enough reassurance. It would have to be. Tyson sat up and she turned to look at him again. “Really? Yeah.” She had all but ran away from the motel, the first one fizzling out by the time she was pulling up on Tyson’s doorstep. “If you got enough”, she added like an afterthought.

He gave her a look as if to say, of course it’s enough. Getting off the bed it wasn’t long before he had cut up several lines, returning and sitting opposite her to offer one to Sasha first, doing the next himself. And then another half measure. And then a tiny bump more. “You know, you think about it, you don’t got it that bad,” he said, still attempting to turn the mood around and speak in a more joking manner. “You just have to fuck’ em. Now the girls at the Box...” he shook his head, smirking. “Know what that pole shit does to your knees?”  

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

Promise me one thing he said and Sasha went silent, waiting. Expression one of pure confusion, even though the request was straightforward enough. “Really? That random tweaker?” She wasn’t going to say no though. “I will. I’ll try to remember his face.” They kinda started to blur after a bit, at least those that weren’t regulars, but she would. “Just don’t do nothing that will put you in deep shit.”

“I won’t,” he promised, not yet sure what he was planning. Just that he would certainly do something if he had the gall to turn up and ask for Sasha again. Probably just a little eye for an eye, beat the shit out of him in the parking lot. Nothing extreme. Tyson sat up a little, sitting up and leaning his right hand back on the mattress to prop him up. “I’m gonna do another line. You want one?” 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

No longer facing him, but this time her smile was real, sad but genuine. Tyson’s hand found hers, their fingers tangling together. The lines of the ceiling went blurry again as tears pooled in her eyes, trickling across her temples to land in her hair. “Stupid”, she told him with a shaky voice, bringing their hands to her lips to kiss his. “I love you so much.” It felt nice being able to say it again. It wouldn’t change their situation, she couldn’t help either of them, but at least she could love him and there was relief in that.

“Love you too,” he replied, muted, quiet.  Sad that they were saying it over such a somber topic and night, but it was what it was. He still didn’t forgive himself for landing them back in the shit again like this, nor would he ever. They had gotten so close to freedom it still stung. Almost as bad as his side. “Promise me one thing?” he said, blinking up at the ceiling. “If that guy who kicked you comes back, you tell me alright?” 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

Relieved that his answer to her question didn’t involve him going off about Cleveland again, she tried her best to give him a smile that she felt wooden on her lips, but whatever, at least it was there. “Yeah”, she agreed. Not even Frank would care enough to come after her there. “Hoes go to hell though, don’t they?”

“Not the ones who are angels,” he replied just as quick, holding back the smile on his face. His hand found hers, the one that she had splayed over his body, and laced their fingers together. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

She winced again at how upset he sounded. At knowing it was her fault that he was. He asked why couldn’t she just quit and Sasha’s jaw dropped, slightly, before catching herself and shaking her head. Knowing it would make his face look even more of that heartbreaking expression, still she was willing to answer but glad to be let off the hook. She flopped back into place. “What if I get the phone call ‘bout you?”

There was that question again, the same one she posed him in the parking lot. He wasn’t willing to entertain it again though, because he didn’t really have a good answer. In fact, between the two of them, he felt more likely to meet that end sooner than she would. “Then you take a big fat dose of H and we meet at the pearly gates,” he joked. A bad joke, but a joke nonetheless, one he glanced her way to see how she’d receive. 

[tysondobbs]

imaginarybabies​:

She couldn’t imagine what she could answer to that to fix things, so she didn’t. Just turned on her side to drape her small form on top of him and rest her cheek on top of his heartbeat. A hand absently rubbing up and down, slow motioned and languid when her insides felt anything but. Don’t know what I’d do if I get a call from Faye one night and you’re hurt more than a kick. Sasha winced, lifted her head to look at him. And look she did, full on now as her vision started getting blurry. “Maybe I won’t be”, she offered. “I’m smart out there. Been doin’ this for years.”

She turned into him and that felt nice, nicer than anything had felt in weeks. He met her eyes briefly before turning away. “Yeah,” he replied a touch snidely, “and people get on planes plenty of times before they get on their very last one that crashes.” Still, maybe...maybe, maybe. He sighed to will himself back to a less worked-up state. “Don’t understand why you can’t just quit.” Did she owe him money? Surely her situation was nothing like his with Cletus. Surely pissing Frank off was a smaller deal. Hiding from him in town...yeah, he’d be after them probably. She was valuable to him, after all. “Nevermind. Don’t answer that.”