You just use the future

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres. Where do I even begin? Hola, bonjour, hello. I'm Ty and no I can not be your baby mama. I like to touch le butt and sing songs while taking a crap.I'm a self-proclaimed idiot with a love for Ellen and all things awesome. #dealwithit. Oh and Rachel Berry's my wife for life. I've got this weird friend named Leon who thinks that fetch is cool and likes to not touch the butt. And then there's Ma Chérie, Charles. Charlie's kinda my go to girl when it comes to all things awesome. We're more than friends but less than Dory and P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. Actually, we're hella into each other and we're totally dating. She's had my heart ( and smile) for over a year now. So yeah, we're dating so don't think that you can go all Flynn Rider on her and start flirting.

[tytothesmythe]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thetyside uploaded a new photo

Black Friday with the kiddos #stilldontknowwhytheycallitthat

↳ 112 LIKES, COMMENTS:

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@fheerieily: What are they looking at

@voulezvouscoucheravecmoi: Such a cute fam photo #wherescharlie

@fheerieisdabaealways: NUGGETS

[bapchin-blog]

[tytothesmythe]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thetyside uploaded a new photo

We’re happy because the Giants were off this week #weloveamericanfootball

↳ 121 LIKES, COMMENTS:

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@fhebelbitches: They are so cute!! You on the other hand?? Not so much!

@ladymarmalade: You guys are really enjoying being dog parents aren’t you?? 

@fheerieisdabae: They’re taking over your lives and ngl I love it

[tytothesmythe]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thetyside uploaded a new photo

This is a shoutout post because I love this girl with all my heart. We've been going strong for three years and she’s my favorite human being. She’s watched me grow from when we first met back when I was a freshman and she was a junior (and now we’re both alum?), and I’ve watched her grow into an amazing woman. Now we have two dog kids together and we get to experience life together and she makes me so happy. Plus she let’s me touch the butt. Basically, she’s the best person to ever person.

↳ 110 LIKES, COMMENTS:

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@fhebelbitches: Dat jacket doe

@jmalaman: when you’re not even in the pic #goals

@fheerieisdabae: So you’re basically saying that she’s a cougar?

[tytothesmythe]

✉️ unTYed shoes 💕

Charlie: TY

Charlie: T Y

Charlie: TYYYYY

Charlie: TYSOOOOOOOON

Charlie: I KNOW YOU'RE IN CLASS BUT HOLY AJFJSJFJJSJFJDJGJSJFJSJJF

Charlie: TYYSOOOONNNSNDNSJF

Charlie: REMEMBER I AUDITIONED FOR SOME NETFLIX TV SHOW THING ON FRIDAY??????

Charlie: I GOTNIT AND IKF FREAKING OUT????????

Charlie: THIS IS IN PERSON STUFF BUT I CAN'T WAIT THAT MANY HOURS

Charlie: I ALSO ASSUME YOU STILL HAVE THAT GOOGLE ALERT WITH MY NAME AND IDK

Charlie: AMAZING

Charlie: AMAAAAAAAAAZING OMG I WANNA HUG YOU SO BAD RIGHT NOW

Ty: ALDSKALSDKJDLA

Ty: Baby I am so proud of you!!!

Ty: Of course I still have google alert for your name!!

Ty: WE MUST CELEBRATE AND THE DOGS MUST CELEBRATE AS WELL

Ty: This is so exciting #excited

Ty: I'm so glad they saw how talented you are bc I see it every single day

[lazyraspberry]

[tytothesmythe]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thetyside uploaded a new photo

Being parents to two kiddos is hard work #hereismestruggling 

↳ 130 LIKES, COMMENTS:

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@fheeriewhyyoudothis: Oh no the caterpillar above your lip is back #why

@ilovethemsomuch: This is a wonderful angle of your #frenchfrown I hope you and Charlie are happy with them! First step to adulthood, man. But no snapback or bandana?? This is crazy.

@fheerieisstilldabae: He looks completely caught off guard, I love it P.S. I’m talking about the both of you

[charlottefabray]

 thecharliefabs uploaded a new photo (via Instagram).

↳ two hours ago.

LOOK AT MY LIFE LOOK AT MY CHOICES (yes we got two) (yes we are happy parents) (yes you can come visit) (yes we got even more domestic) (yes he wont make them stay off the couch) (yes i can relate i won’t do it either) (no we don’t do threesomes) (that last comment is dogs unrelated i just get too many dick pics)

fheerieisirresponsibleaf, whenbaeghostsyabutcomesbackwithstarbucks, fhebelisforever   and 842 others like this.

isittoolatenowtosaysorry: I KNEW YOU COULDN’T JUST GO TO A SHELTER AND COME BACK WITH ONE DOG.

ihavetumblronmyphonenowtho: we had this coming yes, but i want to point out that no matter what tyson’s still wearing that orange thing and it’s killing me Y'ALL ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ARTSY

saygoodbyetoallmydata:  you know i never question your art but why is there a neon table there and not HERE with ME in my apartment where YOU took it from (im jk i’m glad you liked it, you still owe me pizza!)

[tytothesmythe]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thetyside uploaded a new photo

Finally some time to ourselves @thecharliefabs

↳ 105 LIKES, COMMENTS:

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@fhebelbitches: You look so good here

@justchillinmano: Wow a pic without Charlie??

@fheerieisdabae: Loving that shirt, man

[bestlols-deactivated20140726]

[tytothesmythe]

✉️ HamilTY 💕

Charlie: ELLEN'S MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH. She wouldn't be interested in private french kissing lessons like I am but still?? You'd prank people on camera THAT STUFF SELLS. ps we have a cuddling problem

Charlie: I'M HOME NOW BOO (see what i did there??? HALLOWEEN!!!!) we're having salad for dinner. With "salad" I mean we're eating kale with whatever I can find in the fridge that doesn't sound disgusting in a "healthy food" context so look forward to that. I'M NOT THE FRENCH PERSON IN THIS HOUSE GDI i'm sorry i was born #caucasian we don't know spices

Charlie: that's not true tho, Grey was good in the kitchen. I'm just generally useless.

Charlie: we're the strongest shush. MY BOY OH MY BOY I STILL REMEMBER US FREAKING OUT WHEN THEY ANNOUNCED FINDING DORY WAS COMING???? AND NOW??? we gotta do this right now immediately

Charlie: we're posting pictures from the shelter wtf my dude??????

Charlie: come hoooooooome

Charlie: jk jk i'll wait. i'm catching up on Suits 👀 but if i fall asleep just wake me up no biggie

Ty: That moment when you're a better french kisser than me and you're not even from France it makes me so happy. Youu mean you have a cuddling problem, I am just the enabler.

Ty: OKAY WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT OUR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES THIS YEAR THOUGH which ying and yang thing are we gonna be this year? Not like we can be Bradgelina #rip YOU ARE AS CLOSE TO FRENCH AS IT GETS THOUGH OKAY

Ty: You are never ever useless you are my favorite person in the whole world you make me so happy

Ty: I think it comes out on that dvd thing in just over a month? We must prepare, ma belle. I LOVE PIXAR almost as much as I love you and still #loveyouthemostest

Ty: TODAY IS THE DAY i am so excited to meet this lil pup. We are gonna be the best dog parents to ever dog. Or is the expression to ever parent? I am unsure.

Ty: I AM OFF TOMORROW TOO this is very exciting times. I get to be with him/her all day

[tytothesmythe]

✉️ HamilTY 💕

Charlie: I MISS YOU SO MUCH RN and also your puns #blessed. I'll screenshot this and give it to Ellen when she eventually asks you to her program

Charlie: When I get home tonight I'm gonna cuddle the hell out of you idc

Charlie: rehearsal's running super late tho why am i alive here when i could be alive in your vicinity

Charlie: also about what you said yesterday and i forgot to revisit during dinner - i think i have a tyson kink. leon wrote "ty" on a text and i went all heart eyes mode. it's a problem. i'm glad my butt is the only one being touched by you too 💕 #relationshipgoals

Charlie: also jsyk i downloaded a countdown app only because i wanted to add "adoption day", don't like don't follow ✌🏻

Ty: That's funny cause I miss your buns like you miss my puns #itry GOD I wanna be on Ellen so much too bad she doesn't feel the same way

Ty: Can we cuddle tonight too? Can we just cuddle the hell out of each other every night??

Ty: I'm glad you eventually came home it's always so hard to fall asleep w/out you! rehearsal runs late cause they wanna keep you just like I wanna keep you

Ty: I AM DYING THAT IS SO GREAT i am glad you have a tyson kink after all these years that means we're going strong SPEAKING OF FINDING DORY IS OUT IN LIKE TWO MONTHS??

Ty: you are the cutest?? the absolute cutest we're gonna be the cutest dog parents. When is it socially acceptable to post pics after we adopt??

[craved-deactivated20230908]

[tytothesmythe]

✉️ HamilTY 💕

Charlie: if we ever get famous enough to have cardboard cutouts we won't have to wake up without the other ever again GET TO WORK TYSON

Charlie: i'm also not having this argument over texts, we all know I love you the most????

Charlie: "UNTITLED SPARTAN THRILLER" i don't know why i try at this point???? i'll keep playing damsels in distress until i'm old and bitter apparently. thanks, hollywood.

Charlie: I DIDN'T EVEN READ WHAT YOU SAID AFTER "IF WE GET A DOG" THE ANSWER IS YES

Charlie: we're so out of it i'm crying. I'm not sure if one can "try" to Netflix and Chill but I'm not complaining. WE'RE HAVING FETTUCCINE ALFREDO FOR DINNER, #all the comfort food.

Charlie: I know I've asked this before but why do men have school girl kinks when they could easily have a teacher kink???? Oh that's right they haven't seen you in action. My bad.

Charlie: We WILL be the cutest dog parents, I still can't believe you're on board with this and that we aren't at the shelter already????

Ty: I AM PUTTING PEP IN MY STEP I PROMISE but a cardboard cut out won't cut it...I need to see your cute face every morning okay? also get it? cut it? cause it's a cardboard cutout

Ty: I LOVE YOU THE MOSTEST why don't you just accept it??

Ty: It's Hollywood's fault for not having actual badass female characters though, BUT YOU WILL FIND THE PERFECT BADASS ROLE AND YOU'LL ROCK IT ONE DAY

Ty: I LOVE FETTUCCINE ALFREDO, you're gonna make me #cry. We will sit down after dinner and watch something on Netflix, I just need to be with youuuuu

Ty: ; ) I think you're the only one that has that kink or rather you're the only person I ever think about in that way so I disregard everyone else

Ty: We will be!!!! Can we get a cute dog that we'll be able to cuddle with??? THIS WEEKEND WE MUST WE MUST GO TO THE SHELTER

Ty: I give you full permission to love this dog more than you love me

[tytothesmythe]

✉️ HamilTY 💕

Charlie: BABE I'M SORRY I HAD TO RUN Taz called me with a last minute audition while you were asleep. I took the last granola bar but I'll resupply on the way home! Have a great day, love you 💯.

Charlie: ignore this if you're getting ready but seriously, what's the point of adulting??? i've been sitting here for two hours and there's still five girls in front of me

Charlie: they all look like me and i should be used to this right?? EXCEPT I PLAYED MYSELF this is creepy, only Quinn and Millie get to pull this stuff

Charlie: we need a dog

Charlie: sometimes I feel like we missed out on "netflix and chill?" texts. I want to fit in with the crowd!!!! understand memes!!!!

Charlie: is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 23

Charlie: DOG

Ty: Why are you so cute? I missed waking up to you this morning my whole day is off because I didn't see your beautiful face but I love you more 😘

Ty: What's the audition for? Or is it top secret information?

Ty: OKAY BUT consider they aren't as beautiful as you so there's that

Ty: IF WE GET A DOG CAN IT HAVE A CUTE AND FLUFFY NAME LIKE CHARLOTTE FABRAY??

Ty: We can try to Netflix and Chill tonight!! I have a few classes at the studio but nothin super exhausting to teach

Ty: We'd be cute dog parents

[charlottefabray]

 thecharliefabs uploaded a new photo (via Instagram).

↳ five hours ago.

You guys, he used to have a crush on me 🙈. Almost three years later and he’s still my #2 (looking at you, Jean Valjean).

wearebackyo, REBELMADEMECRY, soulmatesafgoalsaf   and 842 others like this.

okaybutsrsly: I feel like you tried to reference Parks/April and Andy but it’s impossible. You’re both Andy.

thecharliefabs: @okaybutsrsly LISTEN!!!! I too put on Halloween makeup when I sprained my ankle last year and had to go to the hospital, I can be an April!!!! We’re both mushy and warm on the inside!!!!!

ifyouheardascreamitwasmeatthesoundofCHYSON:  I’m gonna singlehandedly write, produce and promote an entire gender bent version of Les Mis so you can get over this Jean nonsense, STAY SANE FAM 

[tytothesmythe]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @thetyside uploaded a new photo with @thecharliefabs

Ma fille est chaude #iloveher

↳ 105 LIKES, COMMENTS:

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@fhebelbitches: How was this pic even taken???

@keepingintogetherfam: You two are obsessed with each other

@fheerieisdabae: When she is very much so out of your league