ueno @ueno-laurier - Tumblr Blog

Top 10 people who should kill themselves

1. Nobody. Because it's unmoral to ask that of a person.

2. Onyx laurier

ask-thepsychiatrist

Unemployed hag says what?

Kiss my ass

Top 10 people who should kill themselves

1. Nobody. Because it's unmoral to ask that of a person.

2. Onyx laurier

Let's cuddle together and comfy at Onyx's apartment? (Please say yes)

Of course fedya, I call middle though!

Not fair.

I want the middle.

Nu uh. I’m getting middle

Consider. I'm smaller. I get cold easily :(( (poor manipulation tactics). It's just fair that I get middle.

Nu uh, you and onyx probably cuddled before this anyways, I call middle this time

@onyx-laurier , tell him to let me get middle.

...im not gonna be home tonight.

Huh?

*he frowns*

Why not...?

Family.

Oh.

Okay then..

How about tomorrow?

Yes.

Also i want middle.

No you don't.

I want middle.

I want middle too.

You two are my boyfriends. So it's just fair.

Well im a pretty princess and i deserve the best in the world so i should be middle.

What if I’m in the middle and I hold both of you to keep you both warm? Win win for everyone!

I need to be squished between two men.

I have my ways~

Hm.

*he just picks them both up and carries them to the couch and hugged them both really tight, he seemed happy with this*

A- nikolai i need to visit my fami-

Nope~ you’re staying here now.

I...

*grooaaaannn*

*he pulls a blanket over everyone and just snuggles until everyone managed to fall asleep in a big pile*

*unnntill onyxs phone starts ringing like crazy*

*he just answered with a ‘he’s sick and can’t come’ and hung up, not even giving anyone a chance to explain*

(Meanwhile)

......

Mom onyx isnt coming because hes too busy being a WHORE.

language.

You.

Fyodor lover #1

Protect me??

"Well I might love master but I don't want you to be hurt in any way!"

.....

(Onyx gives a thumbs up, and proceeds to down the entire wine glass presented to him)

*Fyodor is slightly surprised to see Onyx drinking so fast*

(Onyx proceeds to pour himself another glass. And down half of that, too.)

I hope you're not a lightweight.

*he jokes*

God i wish i was.

Would that make you drink less than you do?

No, but id black out sooner.

There are many other ways of blacking out pretty quick.

I wouldnt like to be knocked out with a bat. Or add to my growing pile of addictions.

Hm, I see.

Go on with your drinking, then.

What were you referring to?

Knocking you out with a bat, mostly.

I know you too well.

I know you do.

....

That sounded wierdly romantic to me.

Oh, did it?

It could be if you wanted to, who knows.

*he shrugs playfully*

....

(He downs the rest of the wine)

*he grins, knowing he's got the effect he wanted on Onyx*

...fuck it im just gonna drink out the bottle.

As you wish. I'm not here to judge you today.

Thank you jesus.

*he rolls his eyes, sipping more from the glass*

Shut up.

...should i just kill my dad to inherit a winery?

No. I wouldn't say just kill.

You have to make a plan first, to ensure it will work.

....mmmmm

Do youuuu know anything about like

Two assasins. European. Spade and ruby.

I could ask those guys for help.

They seem like interesting assassins. You should go for them.

Can you help me contact them? I dont fucking know how to reach em.

I know their real names and old phone numbers

I could try and find them for you.

But tell me, why don't you kill him yourself?

Well.

1. May be too lazy to do it when the time comes

2. The two guys i mentioned make deaths extremely theatrical and i think it would be hilarious if my dad died by being eaten by 200 crows

Youre not gonna fucking kill dad.

Hmmm, how interesting.

Who may you be, lady?

My sister.

Why

Why is she

Here

You never mentioned having a sister.

Does she act like you?

I have 2 sisters.

Agate laurier

And this cunt, ueno.

Me? Kinda.

Crank the bitch factor up to 100 and mix in with 2 milileters of karen

*he laughs softly*

So, you're not so fond of them, I see.

It'll be quite a fun sight to see.

...

Wait a minute.

That ring youre wearing.

THIS GUY IS WHO YOU SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON??? HE ISNT EVEN GOOD LOOKING!? YOU BECAME GAY FOR THIS?

*he smirks at her*

You think your meaningless words will somehow affect me? How cute.

Im not talking to you im talking to my brother keep your mouth shut.

Why don't we try again?

I'm Fyodor Dostoevsky, true leader of the Decay of Angels and your brother's friend.

Cool.

.....

Doestoevsky?

Precisely.

........

(Ueno looks at onyx. Then fyodor. Then onyx.

Then fyodor. She is going to call agate. Aka resident lawyer. But she exits the scene)

You.

Fyodor lover #1

Protect me??

"Well I might love master but I don't want you to be hurt in any way!"

.....

(Onyx gives a thumbs up, and proceeds to down the entire wine glass presented to him)

*Fyodor is slightly surprised to see Onyx drinking so fast*

(Onyx proceeds to pour himself another glass. And down half of that, too.)

I hope you're not a lightweight.

*he jokes*

God i wish i was.

Would that make you drink less than you do?

No, but id black out sooner.

There are many other ways of blacking out pretty quick.

I wouldnt like to be knocked out with a bat. Or add to my growing pile of addictions.

Hm, I see.

Go on with your drinking, then.

What were you referring to?

Knocking you out with a bat, mostly.

I know you too well.

I know you do.

....

That sounded wierdly romantic to me.

Oh, did it?

It could be if you wanted to, who knows.

*he shrugs playfully*

....

(He downs the rest of the wine)

*he grins, knowing he's got the effect he wanted on Onyx*

...fuck it im just gonna drink out the bottle.

As you wish. I'm not here to judge you today.

Thank you jesus.

*he rolls his eyes, sipping more from the glass*

Shut up.

...should i just kill my dad to inherit a winery?

No. I wouldn't say just kill.

You have to make a plan first, to ensure it will work.

....mmmmm

Do youuuu know anything about like

Two assasins. European. Spade and ruby.

I could ask those guys for help.

They seem like interesting assassins. You should go for them.

Can you help me contact them? I dont fucking know how to reach em.

I know their real names and old phone numbers

I could try and find them for you.

But tell me, why don't you kill him yourself?

Well.

1. May be too lazy to do it when the time comes

2. The two guys i mentioned make deaths extremely theatrical and i think it would be hilarious if my dad died by being eaten by 200 crows

Youre not gonna fucking kill dad.

Hmmm, how interesting.

Who may you be, lady?

My sister.

Why

Why is she

Here

You never mentioned having a sister.

Does she act like you?

I have 2 sisters.

Agate laurier

And this cunt, ueno.

Me? Kinda.

Crank the bitch factor up to 100 and mix in with 2 milileters of karen

*he laughs softly*

So, you're not so fond of them, I see.

It'll be quite a fun sight to see.

...

Wait a minute.

That ring youre wearing.

THIS GUY IS WHO YOU SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON??? HE ISNT EVEN GOOD LOOKING!? YOU BECAME GAY FOR THIS?

*he smirks at her*

You think your meaningless words will somehow affect me? How cute.

Im not talking to you im talking to my brother keep your mouth shut.

Why don't we try again?

I'm Fyodor Dostoevsky, true leader of the Decay of Angels and your brother's friend.

Cool.

.....

Doestoevsky?

You.

Fyodor lover #1

Protect me??

"Well I might love master but I don't want you to be hurt in any way!"

.....

(Onyx gives a thumbs up, and proceeds to down the entire wine glass presented to him)

*Fyodor is slightly surprised to see Onyx drinking so fast*

(Onyx proceeds to pour himself another glass. And down half of that, too.)

I hope you're not a lightweight.

*he jokes*

God i wish i was.

Would that make you drink less than you do?

No, but id black out sooner.

There are many other ways of blacking out pretty quick.

I wouldnt like to be knocked out with a bat. Or add to my growing pile of addictions.

Hm, I see.

Go on with your drinking, then.

What were you referring to?

Knocking you out with a bat, mostly.

I know you too well.

I know you do.

....

That sounded wierdly romantic to me.

Oh, did it?

It could be if you wanted to, who knows.

*he shrugs playfully*

....

(He downs the rest of the wine)

*he grins, knowing he's got the effect he wanted on Onyx*

...fuck it im just gonna drink out the bottle.

As you wish. I'm not here to judge you today.

Thank you jesus.

*he rolls his eyes, sipping more from the glass*

Shut up.

...should i just kill my dad to inherit a winery?

No. I wouldn't say just kill.

You have to make a plan first, to ensure it will work.

....mmmmm

Do youuuu know anything about like

Two assasins. European. Spade and ruby.

I could ask those guys for help.

They seem like interesting assassins. You should go for them.

Can you help me contact them? I dont fucking know how to reach em.

I know their real names and old phone numbers

I could try and find them for you.

But tell me, why don't you kill him yourself?

Well.

1. May be too lazy to do it when the time comes

2. The two guys i mentioned make deaths extremely theatrical and i think it would be hilarious if my dad died by being eaten by 200 crows

Youre not gonna fucking kill dad.

Hmmm, how interesting.

Who may you be, lady?

My sister.

Why

Why is she

Here

You never mentioned having a sister.

Does she act like you?

I have 2 sisters.

Agate laurier

And this cunt, ueno.

Me? Kinda.

Crank the bitch factor up to 100 and mix in with 2 milileters of karen

*he laughs softly*

So, you're not so fond of them, I see.

It'll be quite a fun sight to see.

...

Wait a minute.

That ring youre wearing.

THIS GUY IS WHO YOU SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON??? HE ISNT EVEN GOOD LOOKING!? YOU BECAME GAY FOR THIS?

*he smirks at her*

You think your meaningless words will somehow affect me? How cute.

Im not talking to you im talking to my brother keep your mouth shut.

You.

Fyodor lover #1

Protect me??

"Well I might love master but I don't want you to be hurt in any way!"

.....

(Onyx gives a thumbs up, and proceeds to down the entire wine glass presented to him)

*Fyodor is slightly surprised to see Onyx drinking so fast*

(Onyx proceeds to pour himself another glass. And down half of that, too.)

I hope you're not a lightweight.

*he jokes*

God i wish i was.

Would that make you drink less than you do?

No, but id black out sooner.

There are many other ways of blacking out pretty quick.

I wouldnt like to be knocked out with a bat. Or add to my growing pile of addictions.

Hm, I see.

Go on with your drinking, then.

What were you referring to?

Knocking you out with a bat, mostly.

I know you too well.

I know you do.

....

That sounded wierdly romantic to me.

Oh, did it?

It could be if you wanted to, who knows.

*he shrugs playfully*

....

(He downs the rest of the wine)

*he grins, knowing he's got the effect he wanted on Onyx*

...fuck it im just gonna drink out the bottle.

As you wish. I'm not here to judge you today.

Thank you jesus.

*he rolls his eyes, sipping more from the glass*

Shut up.

...should i just kill my dad to inherit a winery?

No. I wouldn't say just kill.

You have to make a plan first, to ensure it will work.

....mmmmm

Do youuuu know anything about like

Two assasins. European. Spade and ruby.

I could ask those guys for help.

They seem like interesting assassins. You should go for them.

Can you help me contact them? I dont fucking know how to reach em.

I know their real names and old phone numbers

I could try and find them for you.

But tell me, why don't you kill him yourself?

Well.

1. May be too lazy to do it when the time comes

2. The two guys i mentioned make deaths extremely theatrical and i think it would be hilarious if my dad died by being eaten by 200 crows

Youre not gonna fucking kill dad.

Hmmm, how interesting.

Who may you be, lady?

My sister.

Why

Why is she

Here

You never mentioned having a sister.

Does she act like you?

I have 2 sisters.

Agate laurier

And this cunt, ueno.

Me? Kinda.

Crank the bitch factor up to 100 and mix in with 2 milileters of karen

*he laughs softly*

So, you're not so fond of them, I see.

It'll be quite a fun sight to see.

...

Wait a minute.

That ring youre wearing.

THIS GUY IS WHO YOU SPENT ALL THAT MONEY ON??? HE ISNT EVEN GOOD LOOKING!? YOU BECAME GAY FOR THIS?

You.

Fyodor lover #1

Protect me??

"Well I might love master but I don't want you to be hurt in any way!"

.....

(Onyx gives a thumbs up, and proceeds to down the entire wine glass presented to him)

*Fyodor is slightly surprised to see Onyx drinking so fast*

(Onyx proceeds to pour himself another glass. And down half of that, too.)

I hope you're not a lightweight.

*he jokes*

God i wish i was.

Would that make you drink less than you do?

No, but id black out sooner.

There are many other ways of blacking out pretty quick.

I wouldnt like to be knocked out with a bat. Or add to my growing pile of addictions.

Hm, I see.

Go on with your drinking, then.

What were you referring to?

Knocking you out with a bat, mostly.

I know you too well.

I know you do.

....

That sounded wierdly romantic to me.

Oh, did it?

It could be if you wanted to, who knows.

*he shrugs playfully*

....

(He downs the rest of the wine)

*he grins, knowing he's got the effect he wanted on Onyx*

...fuck it im just gonna drink out the bottle.

As you wish. I'm not here to judge you today.

Thank you jesus.

*he rolls his eyes, sipping more from the glass*

Shut up.

...should i just kill my dad to inherit a winery?

No. I wouldn't say just kill.

You have to make a plan first, to ensure it will work.

....mmmmm

Do youuuu know anything about like

Two assasins. European. Spade and ruby.

I could ask those guys for help.

They seem like interesting assassins. You should go for them.

Can you help me contact them? I dont fucking know how to reach em.

I know their real names and old phone numbers

I could try and find them for you.

But tell me, why don't you kill him yourself?

Well.

1. May be too lazy to do it when the time comes

2. The two guys i mentioned make deaths extremely theatrical and i think it would be hilarious if my dad died by being eaten by 200 crows

Youre not gonna fucking kill dad.

Hmmm, how interesting.

Who may you be, lady?

My sister.

Why

Why is she

Here

You never mentioned having a sister.

Does she act like you?

I have 2 sisters.

Agate laurier

And this cunt, ueno.

Me? Kinda.

Crank the bitch factor up to 100 and mix in with 2 milileters of karen

Fucking excuse me

You.

Fyodor lover #1

Protect me??

"Well I might love master but I don't want you to be hurt in any way!"

.....

(Onyx gives a thumbs up, and proceeds to down the entire wine glass presented to him)

*Fyodor is slightly surprised to see Onyx drinking so fast*

(Onyx proceeds to pour himself another glass. And down half of that, too.)

I hope you're not a lightweight.

*he jokes*

God i wish i was.

Would that make you drink less than you do?

No, but id black out sooner.

There are many other ways of blacking out pretty quick.

I wouldnt like to be knocked out with a bat. Or add to my growing pile of addictions.

Hm, I see.

Go on with your drinking, then.

What were you referring to?

Knocking you out with a bat, mostly.

I know you too well.

I know you do.

....

That sounded wierdly romantic to me.

Oh, did it?

It could be if you wanted to, who knows.

*he shrugs playfully*

....

(He downs the rest of the wine)

*he grins, knowing he's got the effect he wanted on Onyx*

...fuck it im just gonna drink out the bottle.

As you wish. I'm not here to judge you today.

Thank you jesus.

*he rolls his eyes, sipping more from the glass*

Shut up.

...should i just kill my dad to inherit a winery?

No. I wouldn't say just kill.

You have to make a plan first, to ensure it will work.

....mmmmm

Do youuuu know anything about like

Two assasins. European. Spade and ruby.

I could ask those guys for help.

They seem like interesting assassins. You should go for them.

Can you help me contact them? I dont fucking know how to reach em.

I know their real names and old phone numbers

I could try and find them for you.

But tell me, why don't you kill him yourself?

Well.

1. May be too lazy to do it when the time comes

2. The two guys i mentioned make deaths extremely theatrical and i think it would be hilarious if my dad died by being eaten by 200 crows

Youre not gonna fucking kill dad.

My fucking brother forgot womans day. Wow.

What a bitch.

Hes probably too busy bowing down to some man who gave him the time of day for two seconds. Whore.

"...Ahem ahem

Actually, your brother is ill, and has sent me to give you a gift!

I have brought bellflowers and dandelions! ^_^"

Oh...did that idiot finally get aids? Good.

Whats with the bandages? Oh let me guess youre some broke addict who he got off etsy for 2 dollars. Mhm. Yeah! Great celebration!

And what the hell is this? Are you colorblind as you are stupid!?

"...He did not get AIDS as far as I know.

And... no... I do not do drugs, ahahah.

No...? I did not get any sort of information on which flowers you like, so..."

Oh- he didnt tell you. Of course

Ugh...just get lost.

"....

Would you still like the flowers? ^_^' "

What do you think!?-

Hello, im sorry. Please excuse ms ueno. Thank you for the delivery, please send our regards to onyx.

"Right, ah, of course... good day to all of you... happy (late) woman's day..."

Tch...

Thank you. goodbye sir. Happy womens day to all your relatives.

*ueno gets smacked in the distance*

My fucking brother forgot womans day. Wow.

What a bitch.

Hes probably too busy bowing down to some man who gave him the time of day for two seconds. Whore.

"...Ahem ahem

Actually, your brother is ill, and has sent me to give you a gift!

I have brought bellflowers and dandelions! ^_^"

Oh...did that idiot finally get aids? Good.

Whats with the bandages? Oh let me guess youre some broke addict who he got off etsy for 2 dollars. Mhm. Yeah! Great celebration!

And what the hell is this? Are you colorblind as you are stupid!?

"...He did not get AIDS as far as I know.

And... no... I do not do drugs, ahahah.

No...? I did not get any sort of information on which flowers you like, so..."

Oh- he didnt tell you. Of course

Ugh...just get lost.

"....

Would you still like the flowers? ^_^' "

#hi other colored text means a different person

What do you think!?-

Hello, im sorry. Please excuse ms ueno. Thank you for the delivery, please send our regards to onyx.

My fucking brother forgot womans day. Wow.

What a bitch.

Hes probably too busy bowing down to some man who gave him the time of day for two seconds. Whore.

"...Ahem ahem

Actually, your brother is ill, and has sent me to give you a gift!

I have brought bellflowers and dandelions! ^_^"

Oh...did that idiot finally get aids? Good.

Whats with the bandages? Oh let me guess youre some broke addict who he got off etsy for 2 dollars. Mhm. Yeah! Great celebration!

And what the hell is this? Are you colorblind as you are stupid!?

"...He did not get AIDS as far as I know.

And... no... I do not do drugs, ahahah.

No...? I did not get any sort of information on which flowers you like, so..."

Oh- he didnt tell you. Of course

Ugh...just get lost.

My fucking brother forgot womans day. Wow.

What a bitch.

Hes probably too busy bowing down to some man who gave him the time of day for two seconds. Whore.

"...Ahem ahem

Actually, your brother is ill, and has sent me to give you a gift!

I have brought bellflowers and dandelions! ^_^"

Oh...did that idiot finally get aids? Good.

Whats with the bandages? Oh let me guess youre some broke addict who he got off etsy for 2 dollars. Mhm. Yeah! Great celebration!

And what the hell is this? Are you colorblind as you are stupid!?

#ehehe...i am so sorry..

My fucking brother forgot womans day. Wow.

What a bitch.

Hes probably too busy bowing down to some man who gave him the time of day for two seconds. Whore.

Happy womans day to my mother two sisters 6 aunts and nathaneals daughter.

How will i give gifts to all of them in this state?

I dont know.

"Let me help you! I could buy a few things for them ^_^"

Oh thank you, im currently sick. So i cant meet them in person. Ill transfer you a budget right away

"Ah, no, no, do not worry! I shall buy things with whatever money I have myself. Save your currency for something more important.

And I wish you a fast recovery!"

...ok fine. Ill repay you one day,

And thank you, ivan. You truly are a sweetie

"Eh? No, no, my dear, I am the one repaying you. You have no reason to make up for me paying my debt.

And of course! No need to flatter me so, I am only helping out someone kind."

..someone kind you say?

Thank you, ivan. Truly.