ugh. @ugh-its-ace - Tumblr Blog

i’m in europe rn and everything abt this trip is awesome. except for the fact that we get bad hotels. and bad food. and there’s a bit of drama. and the chaperones are really mean. and my dad is here.

BUT HEY ITALY IS COOL AND THERES CUTE BOY ON TRIP SO ITS FINE

ugh-its-ace

so fun fact

dating cute boy now :)

ranboolivesaysstuff

now why are you visiting old abandoned shacks in the middle of the forest king

Why are you NOT?

ugh-its-ace

because capitalism has gotten rid of all the old abandoned shacks and forests around my house :(

pukicho

Prepare yourself

ugh-its-ace

no >:/

aimseytv

i absolutely hate it when i remember the game night in the woods on a random tuesday night because how am i meant to act normal when this won’t stop until i die, but when i die i want it to hurt. when my friends leave, when i have to let go, when the entire town is wiped off the map, i want it to hurt. bad. i want to lose. i want to get beaten up. i want to hold on until i'm thrown off and everything ends. and you know what? until that happens, i want to hope again. and i want it to hurt. because that means it meant something. it means i am something, at least... pretty amazing to be something, at least...

ugh-its-ace

fun fact i maes big monologue here was the first big thing i preformed in my acting class. people really liked it and i got like an A- on it it was so much fun :)

writing-prompt-s

The creator of inhabitable worlds has dropped in on Earth to see why it is so stunted. After all, the other 7 he created at the same time in this galaxy had achieved utopia centuries ago.. Turns out that Earth is the only one to have invented religion..Boy, is the creator pissed.

ugh-its-ace

“why the FUCK are there SO MANY ???? and why are all of you SO WRONG ?????”

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

you know what, I’m not done posting about baby bats!!!

here is a fact for you: rescued baby bats are regularly given little blankets and swaddled up like itty bitty bat burritos! this is a whole Thing

Oh, and sometimes they get tiny pillows!

And they get fed out of teensy baby bottles!

They are even given mini bat pacifiers to nurse on 💕

in conclusion, here is a baby bat yawning:

BABY BATS!!!

pukicho

Ahh I hope I don’t slip and fall and accidentally beat the shit outta everyone

everyone must enjoy this modern Rice

today feels like fall

the trees leaves are falling down above me as i sit and read a book about the black dahlia case, sipping on apple cider from a thermos and watching my friend play tennis

it’s cold enough for a small breeze and unzipped jacket, but warm enough that i can sit comfortably. this is the weather i’ve been waiting for

i like this. it’s so cozy and everything is perfect right now.

i love fall

b,,,birth

day

me old

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

had a weird dream where I was somehow trapped in a Where's Waldo book Pride Month Edition. and the color motif was (obviously) rainbows set amidst the colorful crowds of a pride parade. and it must have been a fever dream of some variety bc like a complete fool i ran around and around, entwining myself every further in desperate urgency, hunting, hunting for the red-and-white stripped sweater of my prey, Waldo--and he was nowhere! nowhere i say! and then the strobe lights started up and the music was too loud and i was about to cry in frustration, i was tired and overwhelmed and where the FUCK was Waldo.

And there, on the center float--I saw them!!! But it wasn't Waldo, it was WENDY. she had transitioned and yes, was wearing a dorky pink-and-blue stripped sweater and she was beautiful just BEAUTIFUL I TELL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I (at which point i woke up and had to drink 2 cups of lukewarm tap water bc dehydration)

tldr i had an exhausting fever dream where I was looking for Where's Waldo at a pride parade but instead i found Where's Wendy wearing a trans pride sweater

laineysbucketlist

I’m pretty sure Wendy is already the name of an established character in the Waldo canon but I like the idea that they’re the same person but from different time periods. Time travel is an established phenomenon in the WCU (Waldo Cinematic Universe) so it’s not too far fetched.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

it turns out her name is Wenda and she is a Trans Icon

ugh-its-ace

she may be a trans icon but she’s definitely not a fashion icon

pukicho

Puki, please explain. Everything.

So it all started with a bang, okay? Or if you're religious perhaps you believe in an entity that started the big bang, or maybe you're stupid and think a big finger came down and zapped the Earth into existence like, 2000 years ago. But let's not get into how the entity itself came into existence, cause they won't tell you how. It's weird because you'll be like "the big bang started the universe" and then they'll be like "well, then who MADE the big bang?" but then they never ask themselves who made God? If it all stops at God then why can't it also stop at the big bang? Anyways the general consensus is that a big-ass explosion expelled so much energy that it created everything you see today, it started off with lotsa particles and light and super simple elements and whatever but then as the intense heat and pressure of the big bang continued (I mean like 0.00000001 seconds into the explosion) through sheer force and energy tons of other elements and particles and whatever the fuck catalyzed into existence. Hey I'm no scientist so you gotta take my general concepts and do the more research yourself. So anyways it all expanded infinitely outwards from all sides, the universe was super heated and incredibly turbulent and mass nebulae and star clusters were forming up to be the very first galaxies. Well lets just fast forward some more cause a lotta random shit happened until 14 billion years ago, our very own galaxy formed, called the milky way galaxy. So anyways galaxies are massive star clusters revolving around a supermassive black hole. I know it's scary to be revolving around a black hole but hey don't worry about it, it's not gonna matter. One of those stars btw is our star, the fucking SUN! If you ever go outside maybe you'll see it up in the sky. now despite our galaxy being 14 billion years old, our sun is only around 4.6 billion. We revolve around the sun, on a planet called Earth, which formed a little bit after all the intense matter and swirling mayhem of the sun settled down. U see, our solar system used to just be a very condensed pile of gasses and matter floating around until it all kinda got sucked into the middle and little celestial objects called planets formed around our star (the Sun, remember?). Earth is one of those early objects but don't get too excited yet, okay? Cause it's still a while til life starts being a thing. Remember when I said that the early universe was pretty hot? Yeah well it was pretty hot here too for a while, even though our planet was slowly being formed by sucking in other celestial objects, it was still way too fucking warm for anything to exist, it's just facts. But after our solar system cooled off a bit and things started making bit more sense, asteroids (big rock in space) carrying ice would land on earth and the ice would almost instantly evaporate into our hot-ass atmosphere (the sky and air we breathe today). Now idk if it was due to the icy-ass asteroids or the cooling-down solar system, but slowly our planet started to cool off. All that icy-asteroid water that had evaporated in the air started to condense into things that we typically call clouds. It started to rain, and it rained a fuck ton, until after many years we got big-ass pools of water on our planet called an Ocean. And this is where shit gets wild. The ocean is cool cause it's a really dense and unique place to form really simple lifeforms! Through intense volcanic heat catalyzed in the water, single-celled organisms started plopping into existence. These were really simple, super stupid life forms that didn't have much going on, really, but they still managed to have functions like "eat proteins" and whatever, and that was still enough to churn the tides of evolution. So all these stupid bacteria and organisms started getting more advanced as they reproduced and evolved blah blah blah, until we got fish, and sponges, and the sea pickle and shit. Other bacteria and organisms decided to become plants and algae and whatever. So now it's a party here on Earth.

So they started getting real creative, some fish grew legs after a long while and decided to plop up on to land, which at the time, land was just a shitty collection of rocks, but as plants and algae and our good friend, the mushroom started figuring out how to grow themselves on land, things started looking pretty cool. Oh also I just gotta say none of what I'm saying here about who got onto land first is in order, cause hell if I know, I'm not a scientist, I'm a tumblr user. Anyways believe it or not, fish are dinosaurs, and those fish grew legs and started looking weird as fuck. There was a whole-ass period of time of just dinosaurs, and this period of time was split into different 3 eras. So it's crazy but u know in movies, you'll see a T-rex hang out with a Pterodactyl? Well, in real life those mother fuckers were like 80 million years apart from each other. So that was a whole thing for a while until a couple of extinction events happened, like a big rock smashing into the Earthed wiped them out, but not all of them ;). Some of the sneakier creatures survived the intense explosion and continued to evolve. We got an ice age, and some other shit happened. All of our continents moved and erosion did it's thing, all the while new species were forming. Suddenly there was this one classification of animal called the Mammal, and these guys are us, sorta. After lots more evolution and time, monkeys, the good, trustworthy monkey, came into existence. There were lots of different kinds of monkeys but we evolved from one of these dudes into neanderthals, which is like an early human. Anyways we didn't do too much as the neanderthal, we weren't super smart but we were figuring things out, like how to use tools and draw cool-ass elephants on cave walls, but we were still evolving. After a while, a new kinda neanderthal came into existence, and over time, neanderthals were no longer cool, and the newer, cooler monkey, aka HUMAN, started being the new trendy thing. The neanderthal slowly died off, idk why, we probably murdered them in cold blood. Anyways, early civilization and humanity brought with it new discoveries and inventions and culture! Culture is important for tons of reasons but it definitely grew fast once we figured out how all this shit worked. And over time we learned super crucial things, like what a wheel is, and how to write words and shit (like what you're reading now). Eventually, everything started making more sense and we used what our ancestors taught us to do more the next time around. We lived, and died, and lived, and died until we figured out a bunch of shit and claimed all these territories around the planet. Some of the land humans claimed were more bountiful than others, so they had an advantage when it came to taking over other people's land and doing war and inventing shit. So lots of pillaging and land-claiming and war happened, then we settled down a bit, we got super smart cause we lived and died so many times and learned a bunch of cool shit, so we started the industrial revolution and made cool-ass machines. We learned how to automate shit like chopping wood and constructing boxes via assembly lines, then, as a result of being able to produce things wayy faster than we could before, we started selling larger quantities, so goodbye local shops. Anyways, selling things at mass-quantities means you make lots of money, big businesses came into existence and lots of different things were made as we continued to advance our tech and have dumb-ass wars (we're still living and dying btw) - Countries were made, people died, and then lived! Very important things were made, like the car, and the concept of gravity, and math...

Until BOOM. Here we are today, repeating that silly little cycle, more technically advanced and business-y than ever before! We're still learning, still living and dying, until something else happens, whenever that may be. Hope that helps!

ugh-its-ace

TLDR: history of the entire world, i guess

beepboopboopbop

everythingfox

tiny hug

(via)

im so happy i was raised in the internet

now i know what you’re thinking, “how could that ever be a good thing?!? the internet is nothing but bad!! bad bad internet!!!” yeah well shut up

my stretch marks on my inner thighs are becoming more and more visible by the day, and if i questioned my mom about them or watched how she reacted to them i think i would be 10x more insecure about them.

but because i’ve seen videos of people saying “their totally normal!! no need to feel insecure!!” i look at them with pride. with joy. with glee

i love my stretch marks so much. :)

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

as a lethargic pansexual, i can lukewarmly but confidently assert that the sexiest possible hairstyle for woman, man, or enby is (1) crewcut or (2) fully shaved head (i am tired of people shedding hair in my vicinity this has to stop)

ugh-its-ace

seeing this after an ex breaks up with me for shaving my head is very nice thank you so much