dissipate

beam me up.

[uhmseulbi]

"see? i’m happy."

                    FREAKSHOW; a tsai seul-bi playlist

werewolf by cocorosie | satellite heart by anya marina | weirdo by skylar grey | cadie/the come down by robb bank$ | up by tyler the creator | lina magic by 3d friends | brick by boring brick by paramore | as far as i can see by phantogram | hide by fka twigs | acid drip by a$ap rocky | aftermath by sza | santa barbara by the meg and dia band | vagabond by misterwives | advil by sza | black dahlia by angel haze

                    { listen on 8tracks }

[uhmseulbi]

3 out of ???: miya + nellie + vernita + seulbi + stevie

[wrenegadelacey-deactivated20150]

It’s really cool how people think about stuff — like, out of nowhere, poof, idea; amazing, huh? You did? That’s awesome! Seeing people happy is awesome, always, definitely. I don’t think it was the whole sky, though, it was like a portion of it? And then in the Disney one it turned out to be part of this spaceship that the aliens had customized to look like the sky, which I thought was pretty cool, too. I think I had a nightmare when I was younger of me shrinking ‘til I was really tiny, and everyone else was ginormous and my sister stepped on me by mistake — it’s a terrible, terrible, terrible thing.

That sounds a whole lot better for them, though, I think. Good for them, but possibly bad for us; all depends on where they fall, though, right? Which is why we have to make sure they all fall in the right places. Oblivion, yeah — you got it right, Seulbi.

[uhmseulbi]

Yeah! The brain's super cool and mysterious like that. Like, when you're thinking? How do you get the voice in there? I try and think about that but then I'm just focusing on the voice instead of what I'm thinking. I like seeing people happy. There's too many sad people sometimes and then it starts to make me sad. Yeah, I liked that part. I thought it was cool too. How else were they gonna make the movie interesting? Woah, that sounds kinda like that Disney movie. Not the Chicken Little one but the one with the shrinking. There was one like that, right? I remember watching some movie like that with my sisters once. It would be cool to be that little, hanging out with all the ants and bugs and stuff. Except it takes really long to get from one place to another and you might get stepped on and that's not fun.

Hopefully just on the floor or something. I bought this like.. Chili or something before and there was one in there and it was really gross so I didn't eat anything that day. I thought I was gonna be sick forever and it really sucked but then it wasn't a problem or anything anymore by the next day. Yeah, they just gotta fall in the right places. I did? Oh, good.

[v3rnita]

I’m sure he’ll find a new place nearby, so you can be neighbors now.

[uhmseulbi]

I hope so. And then he can come over and visit when Mark isn't home and he won't get squished probably. Or maybe not, I dunno. Neighbors have nicer food than we do so he doesn't have a reason to come back.

[dahliaaldr-blog]

The only mystery here is how your brain works.

[uhmseulbi]

Probably aliens.

[v3rnita]

Yeah, you saved its life. It will find a new home somewhere. If you didn’t interfere, Mark would have tried to hurt it.

[uhmseulbi]

Yeah? Okay, okay, good. I didn't wanna leave the guy off all on its own, y'know? I didn't wanna do the wrong thing. Mark probably would have. Hopefully the little one  can just move in next door? They always have lots of food over there, or at least it smells like it through the halls.

[dahliaaldr-blog]

You baffle me. How does your brain work?

[uhmseulbi]

I dunno, I just work with what I got. There's probably some science-y answer, but I don't wanna know it, y'know? I wanna keep the mystery of it all mysterious and stuff.

[wrenegadelacey-deactivated20150]

That’s awful nice of you, I think, Seulbi, because not a lot of people think about the insects’ well-being like that! You should tell Vernita about what you did, and I’m sure she’ll say the same thing. Getting smushed by something that fell from the sky…like Chicken Little, huh? But I don’t think I’d like to be Chicken Little, or anyone that’s had their body totally crushed, to be honest. It’s not the very best way to go.

I think I tried that once when I was a whole lot younger and I think that’s what made me never want to wear a bandaid again. Oblivion, oblivion — I like the way you think, Seulbi, I really do.

[uhmseulbi]

Thanks, Nico. I dunno, I just kinda.. Thought about it. Poof. I did! She's really happy, I thought she would be anyway since I kinda picked up on that from her but it's still nice to hear her say it. Yeah, like Chicken Little, except maybe not the whole sky. I think of a super big foot crushing down, or just like the cartoons where a piano falls out the sky and you end up spitting all the keys out. I don't think there's any good way to go, but being smushed isn't on the top of my list.

I just kinda wait until they get wet and lose their sticky and then it doesn't hurt, they just kinda fall off and you don't notice. But then it's kinda bad because it might end up falling somewhere it shouldn't be and that's kinda gross. Oblivion? I used the word right, didn't I? I thought I did.

[cindybonas-archieve]

The fuzziness is the worst part. Insects aren’t supposed to be fuzzy. People are evil when they are scared too so bees aren’t much better. Why would they hide anything? That’s just a conspiracy theory probably.

[uhmseulbi]

Why not? Is it bad that butterflies are fuzzy too? Bees have to be fuzzy, that helps them get pollen. Maybe. I don't think people are always evil when they're scared though. Sometimes it's just because. Which is sad but it's true. Maybe the president wants them to. Maybe they don't wanna release something super duper powerful into the general population until the world is ready for it. Maybe they're just knowledge hoggers. The world may never know.

[uhmseulbi]

what are five things you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to do before you graduate?

Have to do? Probably pull up my grades if I even wanna think about graduating. After that... I dunno. Maybe finish a nice piece, something they'd wanna hang up in the art hallway like all those super pretty paintings from old students? That would be cool. I dunno. I don't think I can think of five. It's not something I've thinked about before.

[v3rnita]

Well, you have to think about the fact that a lot of bugs are just doing their jobs. Like ants, for example. They spend all day gathering food for the rest of their colony only to wake up the next day and do the exact same thing. By smushing an ant, you’re not only killing them on the job, but you might cause some other ants to starve without their share of that day’s food. That’s just messed up.

[uhmseulbi]

I didn't wanna mess with it, but Mark told me to and he was already kinda angry so I did it anyway so he wouldn't get mad at me. I knew I wasn't gonna kill it, though. Oh, no, I don't wanna do that. Even if the red ants are kinda mean and like to bite. Am I bad for kicking the roach out? I didn't wanna take it away from its home but it can find a new home, right? I mean, I did, sort of, so it can too?

[cindybonas-archieve]

Wasps are devilish. Why are they even a thing? At least bees give us honey. My mom bought a honey hand cream recently and it’s amazing. People are beautiful, some just haven’t figured that out yet. To be honest I don’t think you could get a shrink ray anywhere in the real world. Also, pretty sure squishing people is a crime.

[uhmseulbi]

I don't know why, but probably not for nice reasons. Bees are sweet, they're cute and fuzzy and they're only mean sometimes because they're scared, just like people are. People as a whole are beautiful, but some individuals.. I don't want to say that's the case. Sometimes people can be really evil, and that's not beautiful. Maybe! NASA probably has it, I think they're hiding a lot of things from people.

[v3rnita]

I am really proud! You saved that bug’s life, and I’m sure it was very grateful.

[uhmseulbi]

I hope it was, I would be too if someone didn't squish me. But it's okay if it's not, it was probably living there in the kitchen for a while and I kind of kicked it out.

[v3rnita]

This is why I love you, Seulbs. Never change.

[uhmseulbi]

Heh, I had a feeling you'd say something like that. I saw the little bug and I thought, Vern would be really proud if I didn't smush the bug. So I didn't! Don't worry, I'm not gonna change, not on purpose anyway.

[uhmseulbi]

Seul-Bi Tsai's Schedule (11th Grade)

Period One: US History

Period Two: Algebra 2

Period Three: Chemistry II

Period Four: AP Studio Art

Period Five: Creative Writing

Period Six: Physical Education

[cindybonas-archieve]

Well now I’m thinking about it. I agree some of them are harmless but they’re just so… disgusting.

[uhmseulbi]

See? A lot of them don't mean it! Except for wasps, fuck wasps. Wasps are just hostile for no reason and they give bees a bad rep. Sometimes people are disgusting too, but I'm not gonna squish them. That would be kinda hard to do anyway, unless I had a shrink ray but I don't think I could get a shrink ray anywhere around here so there's no way for me to squish anybody.

[dahliaaldr-blog]

You’re literally grossing me out so much right now. Please stop. Hibernation? How does hibernation compare to a modern device?

[uhmseulbi]

I'm not doing anything? Okay. Some are good at some things but bad at other things. Bears can't make phones but bears are good at surviving. People can make phones but sometimes people aren't good at surviving. Like how some people are bad at math but they're good at reading fortunes or something cool like that. But I think if you gave bears a chance they probably could make their own iPhones? Like how gorillas can sign language and elephants can paint? Bears could probably make phones, if someone helped them out at first.