what we do in the shadows - season 2 sentence starters part 4
change tenses/pronouns as needed !! some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying
tw : death , language , nsfw
‘no I cannot go and ‘fetch’ him.’
‘this is all my idea, of course.’
‘I give you permission to take a break from your breaking.’
‘starting to think my whole life is a big pile of bullshit.’
‘sometimes this job seems like a really childish career choice.’
‘maybe it’s time to grow up and get a real job with real people.’
‘been watching a lot of shark tank lately.’
‘you have a lot of nerve disturbing me.’
‘it would be best for everybody if you show yourself now.’
‘what kind of goat sorcery is this?’
‘I can feel something terrible has happened.’
‘it’s witches! they have taken him.’
‘I can feel it on the inside of my bones.’
‘I’m not saying that ____ is hysterical, but she blames everything on witches.’
‘nah, that’s not in my job description.’
‘did you fall down a hole again?’
‘the ceremony awaits you.’
‘can you not make this carriage move faster?’
‘you’re moving slower than when my yaya tried to ride a snail to the next village.’
‘look how quickly and disgustingly they move.’
‘they’re really hauling ass.’
‘your driving’s going to kill us!’
‘they are near. the smell of beef and sulfur is overwhelming.’
‘do you want me to go in for a quick snoop and poop?’
‘I have to do everything myself.’
‘the consensus on instagram is that we underestimate the importance of self - care.’
‘perhaps we could come to some kind of arrangement?’
‘this is kind of exciting.’
‘release us/me and you will be shown mercy.’
‘don’t breathe it in, it’s some kind of … ‘
‘these witches are sly but so am I.’
‘I’ve done a lot of escape rooms, but I’m usually the one in the group that is asking about where we’re gonna go for dinner afterwards and how we’ll split up the bill.’
‘____ , my love! I am coming for you, be strong!’
‘well, I’m quite keen on that idea, let that be known.’
‘that’s slightly insulting but probably true.’
‘you really need to get here.’
‘pleasure is the absence of suffering.’
‘I told you I’d get us out of here.’
‘I put together all your clues. figured it out.’
‘I’d like to tell you you’d be the first to ever say that to me, but you’re not.’
‘well, I know we’re all having the laugh of our lives, but sadly all parties must come to an end.’
‘what are you going to do? moisturize us to death?’
‘I should have known this was you. your stinky old stank was all over it.’
‘naturally, we hit it off straightaway. very fast friends.’
‘that was, until she did something so evil, so despicable, so unforgivable that we are now sworn enemies for the rest of time.’
‘she tricked me with her witchcraft.’
‘how many more women have you slept with that just have long dark hair?’
‘have you slept with him?’
‘yeah, I’ve always been good at puzzles.’
‘I know where you live, asshole.’
‘I saved the day when no one else could.’
‘____ is not always helpful.’
‘he can be inconsistent and human.’
‘there’s no one to hold my hand.’
‘he likes to test my patience sometimes. he’s like a kid.’
‘there’s a vampire approaching your room.’
‘and as I predicted, we are doing absolutely fine.’
‘it’s just so nice to have the place to ourselves.’
‘I mean, how old are you? ninety?’
‘do you have long left, do you think?’
‘who is leaving all these bodies everywhere?’
‘how am I supposed to go to work looking like this?’
‘I’ll just say I got into a bus accident or something.’
‘I’m as cold as a witch’s tit.’
‘I drove him away, didn’t I?’
‘what are you fucking talking about?’
‘fuck that guy for making me think I need to act more aloof!’
‘everything is normal and fun.’
‘you know, I did sense he was getting more and more sad recently. I could smell it on him, it comes from the groin.’
‘take out your cellular telephone and take a picture of me having fun and then send it to ____ so that he knows how much I do not miss him.’
‘I don’t even have his phone number.’
‘I’ll do this just to show you how dumb you are.’
‘can we maybe narrow it down a little bit?’
‘you got to go and answer the darn - tootin’ door.’
‘oh, it has a hex on it.’
‘and I’ve heard there’s a lot of nudity.’
‘we’re going to have so much fun.’
‘so we shall be honored to attend.’
‘we cannot go dressed like this!’
‘don’t ask me how, you don’t want to know.’
‘there’s a good chance that I’m not even going to make it back alive.’
‘but if I do this kindness for you, can I ask for one in return?’
‘I just didn’t want to make it sound too easy for them.’
‘this is it. this is my life now.’
‘it’s good to be wanted.’
‘if it gets uncomfortable, I’ll just give you a signal.’
‘good luck. I do not think you will succeed.’
‘I would never high five.’
‘I am sorry, but when I dance, the ocean parts.’
‘they’re throwing his head around like beach ball.’
‘we didn’t do any of this shit!’
‘we don’t know how but we don’t like it.’
‘I can’t tell if they’re covering for me or if they really don’t know my last name.’
‘I killed him with my … bare hands!’
‘and just for the record, it had nothing to do with the fact that he may have walked out on me after ten years.’
‘okay, you’re getting into some of your personal issues now.’
‘is there something you haven’t been telling me?’
‘don’t care what the fuck your name is.’