Better than being in space

This isn't the most ideal life for the ultimate being {indie AU Kars rp blog}

[ultimateimmortal]

Are you ever not home? How am I suppose to watch naked and afraid in peace when you are always here to complain.

I still don’t understand why they are all afraid of being naked….

[kiirakiirakiller]

I’m either working, or home. The question is don’t you have anywhere else to be? Or do you just spend your life rotting here?

– People are afraid of being nude because it’s unnatural.

[ultimateimmortal]

I can’t rot dunce. I’m immortal.

I had acquired that job a subway...although I was fired. Not quite sure why though, I never showed up so they had no bias to fire me.

Nudity isn’t unnatural. Your clothes are. Polyester isn’t natural at all. Stop lying to yourself.

[ultimateimmortal]

kiirakuins replied to your post:No one is home. Time to let the dogs out into the...

– Wrong. I’m home.

Are you ever not home? How am I suppose to watch naked and afraid in peace when you are always here to complain.

I still don’t understand why they are all afraid of being naked....

[ultimateimmortal]

i hate you move out - kira

no

[ultimateimmortal]

No one is home. Time to let the dogs out into the living room so they can watch reality tv with me.

[humanityreject]

[His eyes closed.  This was proven to be a difficult task.  There were many breeds of dogs, and most people didn’t have corgis.  Once he found a household who had a corgi, he took it.  Much to his discontent, a small piece of the corgi pup’s ear was missing.  Not that he cared for the dogs well-being, but whether if it made a difference to the ancient being.  He then decided that the immortal would accept any animal regardless of imperfections. He held the puppy out to him.]

I believe he is no more than a month old.  Unfortunately he is missing a small piece of his ear.  But other than that he is in good condition and a healthy dog.

[ultimateimmortal]

[This animal is the cutest damn thing ever, Kars can barely act nonchalant about it. He takes the puppy and stares into it's face before cradling it in his arms.]

You kept your word, and I will keep mine. The door to my old room is unlocked. You should find it suitable.

[He turned his back on the lesser vampire and then cradled the puppy close to his face.]

Your name shall be Joaquin, and you'll be living with me now. I will raise you to become the most feared canine this world has seen.

[humanityreject]

Oh Kars, I’ve got something for you!  I do apologized I didn’t get it for you much quicker.

[ultimateimmortal]

How wonderful. I've been awaiting this. Let me see the majestic animal.

[kiirakiirakiller]

…… I heard you come in Kars. What do you want? And why did you walk out?

— Please tell me you don’t have another animal in the house.

[ultimateimmortal]

[He slinks back into the room holding the butt ugly tie behind his back. This is what he gets for trying to be nice, an interrogation. And this is why he isn't nice.]

I was looking for Dio. He...owes me money. He also owes me something else but we won't bother with that right now. I'll be leaving then. 

Oh. And and congratulations on another year of living. I myself have not celebrated a "birthday" in many years but seeing as how young you are I understand why it is still an important day to humans.

[kiirakiirakiller]

This has been a pleasant birthday week.

[ultimateimmortal]

[walks into room with a very ugly tie he picked out himself that he thought looked neat but at the last minute realizes it is trash and walks back out while mumbling about the fact that ties are useless to him and he would never get his money back even though he stole the money from Dio.]

[humanityreject]

…all I require is a vacant room, as much as I’d prefer to have my previous room, I will take the smaller room if the bigger room is what your require. In return, I will give you one of these.

[From his coat, the vampire pulls out a magazine and turns to a page and with his finger, indicates to a picture of a corgi puppy. As much as he hated the idea of there being another mutt running around in the house, his need for a room surpassed his intolerance for dogs.]

[ultimateimmortal]

[A faint whimper echoed in the immortal's throat at the sight of the small majestic canine. But he quickly regained his composure.]

You do know how to sway me. I cannot deny that. I will not however give up this room. It suits me and current animals much better, and if I obtain another I couldn't possibly go back to the smaller room.

We'll make a trade then Dio. That infant dog for the key to my old room; which might I add, is in great condition.

[humanityreject]

At least hear me out.  You might like what I have to offer.

[ultimateimmortal]

...I'm listening...

[humanityreject]

…Must you be this difficult?  Can’t we reach so sort of compromise here?

[ultimateimmortal]

Why should I make a compromise with you when I can keep the second biggest room in the house without having to negotiate a thing? And even if I was interested in your 'compromise' It is not my place to give you your room back. 

[humanityreject]

[A fake?!  Now the vampire is stepping into a new level of anger.

Why would you even have a fake key in the first place?  It’s completely useless!  Wait what…Why would you even have such a key?  Do you not respect the privacy of others?!

You already have a room, just go back to that one and leave me with this one.

[ultimateimmortal]

...No. It's mine now. 

[humanityreject]

You can’t just take this room!  There needs to be a legal process in order for me to actually be evicted!  Legally, this room still belongs to me.

[Today is not the day for childish antics.  Proceeds in using the World in order to retrieve his keys.]

[ultimateimmortal]

[WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WOW WHAT A DICK MOVE HOLY SH- But wait the immortal being isn't stupid enough to fall for Dio's sad tricks.]

Tsk Tsk. You really are as stupid as you look. Do you honestly think I would just give you the key to this room that easily? You just cheated yourself a fake key. Congratulations. You can now open the bathroom door when it's locked.

[humanityreject]

[Great, this obnoxious man again.]

Me? Evicted? That is preposterous…Did that weasel attempt to kick me out without notice?  it seems that he is not aware how the eviction process works.

I’m claiming this room as my own again.  Return to your quarters. 

[ultimateimmortal]

Hmm. Not so fast fledgling. I am in my quarters. This room was properly given to me. I even have the key.

[He pulled the key out from...god knows where...and dangled it in front of the others face. He was enjoying this so much.]

[humanityreject]

..Why does my room have an unpleasant odor of canines….Someone has tampered with my belongings.

[ultimateimmortal]

Dio! Who let your filthy being back into this house? Last I heard you were evicted. That's why Kira gave me your room. 

[kiirakiirakiller]

I never go back on my word. If I say I’ll do something, of course I will do it. I suggest you don’t applaud however, as you’re standing on thin ice yourself.

One wrong move and you will be swiftly thrown out as well.

—But yes. You may switch over to his room if you want.

[ultimateimmortal]

Me? Do something to wrong you? I would never. 

And thank you for the room. I thought it was well time I deserved a bigger room. Dio didn't deserve it anyway.

[kiirakiirakiller]

What hasn’t he done. That reckless good-for-nothing insulted my furniture then destroyed it afterwards.

He is no longer living here.

[ultimateimmortal]

You actually evicted him? How wonderful. Absolutely wonderful; I applaud you Kira. Perhaps he'll perish in the sunlight now.

...May I take over his room now?