[ultschan]

met him again today!

[ultschan]

I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW THAT U POSTED AGAIN 😭😭😭 I’m glad to see ur interested in posting again <3 I’ll be here to support u when u decide to make ur return 🤍

- anon

oh my god this is so 😭😭😭 thank you so much for supporting me after all this time <3 will definitely try to get back on track soon!

[ultschan]

ur posts bring me so much happiness.. I hope u can post soon! 🤍🤍🤍🤍

this one got me the most tbh 😣 i've been on a huge writing slump and it's almost a year since i last wrote .. i kinda miss it, really. i'll try to get back to writing after my exams, i have a few drafts saved and maybe i could actually post soon? i'm not sure when though but i'll definitely come back. thanks a lot for this 🫶🏻!

[ultschan]

I love your scenarios so much ))):

aw, thank you, love! everytime i was down and feeling unmotivated, i come here to try and read these asks that's been unanswered and it helps me boost my mood 😭 i appreciate it!

[ultschan]

I love your works!! I hope you're doing well💕

thank you, love. i hope you are too! this ask has been sitting here for too long and i felt like this is the right time to actually come and interact (i was anxious because i was receiving good messages like these and i wasn't used to it 😭) with you guys. if some of you are still here, thank you and i appreciate it so much <3

[ultschan]

[7:00] "try not to burn the house."

arching an eyebrow at chan, you looked over your shoulder. there he was, trying to slip on his shoes and balancing himself as he looked at you with an amused smile.

you let out a chuckle followed by a sigh.

"that's funny because i remembered you set our food on fire two days ago. the advice should be for you." you shook your head. "why the hurry? are you going somewhere?"

"yeah, on a date."

right.

chan, your roommate, is on his third date of the month which should be progressing a lot considering all of his stories after his day out with that someone was always something he talked to you about. he always talks about his date, about how they were such a good person and company, and how there was no second wasted when it comes to them.

here you were, being the ever supportive friend, encouraged him all the time. third dates should be the time they usually make things official— or so you think.

you turned your back on him, not wanting to let him see the disappointed look on your face. you actually planned on cooking dinner for the both of you. it was your first pay on the job that you have earlier this month so you wanted to treat him.

but it looks like the man has better plans than spending time with his roommate.

you weren't that special, really. just someone he met from 5 months ago. he had moved in after searching for the most normal and appropriate dorm near his university, a 15 minute drive from your home.

during those months, it wasn't that hard to have take a liking to chan. he was easily one of the most purest and kindest person you've ever met. on top of that, the guy was crazy talented and handsome. his personality was to die for. everyone would fall for this man.

you liked him way too fast for your liking. but honestly, you couldn't blame yourself and with someone like him, it was really bound to happen. just way too soon.

"have fun." you plainly said, trying not to show the disappointment in your voice. he chuckled and you felt his presence behind you.

he whispered. "i will." you saw his head lean over to the food you were cooking. he was too close that you had to lean back and look away, just in case he looks at you. you wouldn't want him to question the sour look on your face. "looks good. eat a lot tonight."

you nodded. "okay."

"wish me luck!" his voice fading as the approaches the door.

"okay. good luck!" and with one last breath, you heard the door close. your shoulders dropped and your mood immediately followed. "...i guess."

you took your food and went to the table. the seat in front of you as silence engulfs the atmosphere. it was lonely.

you were just a friend, a roommate. it's impossible for him to like you.

maybe you just need to start looking for somebody else.

[ultschan]

[1:58] the door opens as he enters your shared apartment, the atmosphere of the place getting heavier as you sigh through the kitchen counter. you slowly placed the glass of water in the sink beside you and looked towards the clock.

almost 2 am. it has been a year going on like this. him saying that he'll hang out with his friend and you being the loving partner that he has, allows him whenever he wants. you never complained but you worried. what could they be doing together that he had taken up so much time? that his friend takes up the time where you were supposed to be filling up?

you really didn't want to suspect him but this continuing for that long really didn't sit right with you.

"you're still awake?" his voice was hoarse as you noticed.

you looked towards him finding his shoulders slumped as he was trying to take off his coat. however, the red in his eyes are visibly red. it alarmed you.

"hey, are you okay?" immediately walking towards him fastly, he looks over to you and smiles. the one that doesn't reach his eyes.

he's hurt.

"yeah," he whispered. "i'm tired."

"don't you want to eat? i've prepared us dinner-"

he cut you off. "i'm tired."

you were taken back. why was he tired? why was he looking so helpless? why was he crying?

"is everything alright?" and he didn't say anything. "chan, are you alright-"

"stop."

what?

"what do you mean-"

"JUST STOP."

shutting your mouth in response, you felt your heart clench with his words. he was standing still in front of you not saying anything. despite being hurt by asking you to shut up, you were still worried.

"you're not okay." you breathed out, trying to calm your nerves. a mix of pain and little annoyance forming inside you. "what happened?"

"just stop, please."

"chan-"

"she's leaving." oh.

the friend. of course. the friend who he's been meeting for god knows what relationship they had. the friend he's close with. the friend that he talks to everyday. the friend that he cares about. the friend that he loves (platonically you hope for the nth time).

with confusion written on your face, all you could breathe is, "what?".

he shook his head. "she's leaving. she's leaving me behind." tears are now flowing through his cheeks from his eyes. "she doesn't want me anymore. she doesn't want me by her side anymore."

"chan what-"

"i love her."

the last straw. all the pain you've endured this entire time that you buried because what you've been thinking this entire time was that it wasn't something more eventually flooded you. a single tear followed by the others escaped your eyes as your heart clenches even tighter than before.

he loves her. but what about you?

the sacrifices that you've made was too much to handle for you. didn't you start off as loving each other? why did he pull away and started loving another instead?

since when did he start replacing you in his heart?

"y-you love her?" you stuttered.

with teary eyes he stared at you, a sad smile finding its way to his face. and it broke you even more as he slowly nodded, confirming your biggest fears. he loves her.

"what about me?" he looked away. "chan.."

"i'm sorry."

that was it. this was the end. everything suddenly dying out and you getting your heart broken. how did the two of you come at this point?

thoughts have flooded your mind, the memories have flashed through your vision. there was no point in staying, right? how would you stay in a relationship where you don't have a place in it? where another has already occupied it?

"okay." you whispered, wiping your tears. "i'm sorry she's leaving."

he shook his head. "there's nothing i can do."

you're not gonna tell him to go after her. he broke you enough, you couldn't do it to yourself.

"i guess i'm leaving too." you looked down and then at him in which he looked at you in the eyes, hurt flashing him.

"why?" he asked. "why is everyone leaving me?"

god, you hope he's not serious. "you can't expect me to stay." anger filling you and your voice. "not when you hurt me. i don't even have a stand in this relationship."

and he silences at that.

"this is it for us chan." he winces as your voice cracks. "you lost her when she said she's leaving, you lost me the moment you said you loved her."

with a heavy heart you go to your shared room and laid down the cold mattress while tears are still streaming down your face. you just wanted to stay for the night and it hurts as he lays down beside you. your backs facing each other.

guess you'll just have to leave in the morning.

[ultschan]

[10:11] "shh, don't laugh!"

as he mimicks a zipper in front of his mouth, a small chuckle escaped his lips. it was at night, where he decided to come to your house and whisper-shout your name outside, trying not to wake every body else in your neighborhood.

he held his hand out and supported you as you came down from the tree near your window. "careful," he told you. you just shot him a cute smile and he gave one back.

"you should've just let me inside your room." another night where you decided to sneak out from your parents so you can go watch the stars from the small hill with chan. "or we could've gone the small balcony next to your room."

"do you not want to spend time with me away from my house?" your parents were not the most supportive of you having a relationship, telling you to get a stable job first before entering one. you get them really, but you couldn't really refuse chan.

he was everything you could ask for and you didn't want to let him go, not until his love for you dies out.

however, chan did promise you that he can wait til the both of you graduate and he intends to keep that. so even though nothing is really labelled between you and him, there was a promise made for each other. a secret unlabelled relationship, with a promise to wait for each other no matter what.

"of course i do!" he quickly shuts you down. "what i'm trying to say is, we don't have to sneak out at night. i don't want your parents getting angry at you for lying to them if they don't find you in your room." his voice laced with concern.

you cupped his face, trying to stop yourself from smiling wide. with a small peck on his cheeks, you felt his smile getting bigger as he wraps his arms around your waist. not a second after, his lips pressed kisses on the same spot of your cheeks repeatedly while you giggle in his hold.

"chan," he stopped to look at you with the cutest smile on his face. "let's not waste time."

he chuckled an "okay." then pressed few more kisses on the other side of your face. he finally lets go of you only to hold your hand and guide you through his car.

you were thankful the small hill wasn't far from your house. as you got out of the car, chan approached you from behind and wrapped an arm again on your waist. you broke his hug from you which earned a small pout from him but you just shook your head and dragged him towards the tree in the center of the hill.

there you both are, holding hands while admiring the stars and talking about the most random things ever like the two of you would always do. few minutes later, a comfortable silence surrounds the both of you.

"i can't wait." you said out of nowhere, breaking the silence.

he looks at you. "for what?"

"to graduate." you looked at him too and saw him smiling and following a chuckle. he leans in to peck your forehead.

"me too." he sincerely says while holding your left hand with his right. "i can't wait for us."

chan drives you home at 12am, thankful that your parents never woke up with the small noises the the both of you made. he helps you go up from the tree again and waves from the ground.

"when can i see you again?" you looked at him confused but a smile never leaving your face. "when can we do this again?"

you bit your lip as you let out a small chuckle. his eyes never leaving as you pretend to think about it. "in 5 nights?" you told him.

"that's too long." he whined.

you laughed. "okay, 4 nights."

"2 nights."

you let out an exaggerated gasp. "chan, do you want to marry me that bad?" you joked.

he shyly giggled and rubbed his nape. "yeah, i do."

you look away as you couldn't help but to smile wide. your heart was going wild inside of you and all you wanted to do was just scream it out and punch your pillow, like a girl crushing on a boy and getting noticed for the first time.

"stop." you never wanted him to stop. "in 4 nights." you confirmed.

"2 nights!" he said like a stubborn child. "i wanna see you again."

"we see each other at college." you laughed at him.

"that's true." he agreed. "but 2 nights."

"3."

"2."

"you're never gonna drop this, are you?" you laughed at him, helpless. "okay, 2 nights."

"thank you." he smiled warmly at you while you reciprocated it, showing so much love. "thank you for tonight."

"thank you too, chan." you sincerely told him. "go."

he nodded as he took a step backwards but eyes never leaving you. he kept a smile on his face while slowly backing towards his car. he gestured '2' with his fingers and mouthed 2 nights and you nodded while laughing. "go to sleep." he told you before he finally reached his car and you closed your windows and went to bed.

you definitely cannot wait for it.

[ultschan]

[1:13] a presence around you that you felt got the corners of your lips curling in delight. of course, chan being around you wasn't that much of a big deal but after waking him up from his long nap to eat for dinner and having many attempts to get him up, he finally complied and drag his ass towards the table.

he wasn't a deep sleeper. sometimes he is but you guess he was just really tired from his work. you let him sleep as much as possible when goes to your apartment because he hardly gets any rest when he's at work. luckily, he makes time for you. lots of time actually.

"hey," he softly mumbled, followed by a small yawn. "what did you make?"

"just pasta and some meat. you told me you wanted them earlier." you placed the food on the table and leaned in to peck his lips.

you removed your apron from your waist and immediately sat in front of him, taking your fork and eating the food. a smile appeared on your lips and widens as you see him eat the food deliciously.

"good?" you asked him.

he looked at you smiling. "damn good."

you chuckled at him and ate the rest of your food while talking about the most random things. times like this is enough for you. both of you enjoying the presence and making each other smile.

a few minutes later, silence filled the atmosphere. you watched as chan ate the rest of his food (you gave him a lot so you finished earlier than him) and as he sensed you staring at him, he looks up and smirks a little. you looked away as you chuckled and bit your lip as you focused on anything behind his back.

chan notices as you get a little spaced out and stared at you, taking in your facial features.

"you're really pretty, you know?"

as you gazed back at him, you found your chest warming up seeing his eyes filled with so much admiration. he looks at you like you're the only precious creation, like you're the most beautiful person in the world.

"thank you." you whisped looking at his eyes, a shy smile painting your face.

he reached out and caressed your hair then your cheek. his thumb going back and fourth on your left cheek while you lightly lean on it, closing your eyes for a few seconds and opening it only to find him tilting his head slightly like yours.

you both break out in giggles and you turned your head to kiss his palm. he then pulls your hand in front of his face to kiss your knuckles.

"i love you." you whispered, looking at your hands and then at him.

"i love you." he whispered back and drew hearts on your palm as he turned your hand and looking back at you. "so much."

[ultschan]

[9:00] they say that when you're with your partner and is holding their hand, your heartbeat syncs together. underneath the dark sky, your boyfriend held you against his arms as you took in the cool breeze of the wind and the faint stars in the sky.

your breathing has become even as well, finding comfort in each others arms. it was really a nice moment, contented with warmth the both of you had engulfed each other and comfortable silence surrounding you. it felt like the two of you were the only people in the world. no problems to face.

but it was different to chan.

"hey.." he started.

you hummed in question, not even bothering to look up at him. you even closed your eyes and tightened your hug towards him.

a few minutes have passed while waiting for him, you opened your eyes and decided to finally look at him.

"what is it? are you okay?" you asked him worried.

"i love you, okay?" he told you. a smile went up to your lips, a sad one. "i'm sorry."

it was not his fault. he needed to make a choice and he chose to follow what he really needs to.

"baby, it's not your fault." you assured him.

he looks at you. his eyes looked sad and it broke your heart seeing how broken he is right now. he didn't deserve to be hurt like this. and he knows too, that you didn't deserve this at all.

"i want you to move on from me."

the first tear leaves your eye and the second. your lips quiver as more tears follows them and you tightly hug chan as much as you could.

you didn't want to.

to forget him, to move on from him. you didn't want him to leave but you cannot ask him to stay. this was already planned from the beginning. chan studying in your city until his parents gets a stable job overseas. the time has come. he has to go. tomorrow.

you shake your head. "i don't want to."

he's trying to hold the tears from the corner of his eyes. "but you have to." he exhales shakily.

you know that you have to but you just couldn't see your life without him. how would you do that? you promised you would move in together, get married soon after finding stable jobs, have kids, and grow old together. you drew your future with him and now imagining a future without him in it doesn't make sense at all. it feels so lonely.. and so dark.

"baby." he calls you. and god, how that nickname feels. you close your eyes as more tears escapes and flows to your cheeks. "just think about it. we have a bright future ahead of us! isn't that exciting to you?"

he sounds so broken. he's trying to cheer you up and be positive but fails to notice the pain in his voice. he didn't want to leave either. he didn't want to leave you behind.

"chan.."

"please baby, you have to." he cupped your cheeks and you looked at him in the eyes.

oh my god. you can't do this.

"you have to."

the first tear escapes his eyes and the rest follows but he swallows up the sounds coming from his throat. he obviously cannot do this at all but tried his very hard.

you couldn't say anything but just cry more in his hold. you cannot do this. he cannot do this. both of you just can't.

but you know you need to.

"okay." chan felt hurt. it was hard to say that. you didn't want to forget but you two both thought it would be the best for you.

chan forced a smile. "thank you."

"don't forget me." you told him, desperate. "please chan, you can't forget me."

he smiles through his tears.

"you treated me like i deserved all the good things in life. i cannot forget the only person who made me feel like i was the most precious treasure in the world."

he meant it. he was thankful for you. he was thankful that he got to experience being loved by someone like you.

"i love you. always." you whispered.

he smiled. "i love you too. always."

you're not sure if you are both for each other but you could only wish for now. maybe someday, fate will bring you back together again.

[ultschan]

[6:49] compliments. it's something your boyfriend couldn't handle at all. though grateful, he just couldn't bring himself to accept such wonderful remarks and praises. no matter how much you reminded him of how he is as a person especially in terms of visuals, he just can't.

it's not like he hates compliments. he actually loves them a lot but his ears get very red.

you see, chan is a very shy person. whenever you point out this and that with something positive, his ears get really red. he would try to cover his face or even laugh it off (when in reality, his heart backflips).

it's almost 7 am in the morning, both of your bodies entangled and savouring the warmth of each other under the thick blanket. it was winter season so you both had to choose a thicker blanket and try to warm each other up.

today was just like any other day. you were spooning chan, talking about the most random things until you decided to compliment his bare face.

chan was not that.. confident about his no make up face.

which you don't understand because he looks so pretty with or without it! you always assure him that he is indeed pretty but he denies it until you whine about it and he gives in.

he's thankful about that. he feels better (and pretty) everytime you say it, he just liked to tease you until you whine to him about it. chan thinks it's cute.

"you look so pretty." your groggy morning voice was the only thing he heard and the faint sound of the air condition (yes it's winter but you still use air condition and thick blankets).

"noooo." he nuzzles his face in your neck while you chuckled and ran your fingers through his hair, slightly scratching it. "hmm, that feels good." he mumbed.

"why won't you ever accept my compliment?"

he looks up to you. "i literally just woke up. i probably have morning glory on my eyes and dried drool on the side of my face. is that what you call pretty?"

he was trying to get you to whine.

but so what?

"yes?" you sarcastically said.

"whatever." he playfully said and went back to your neck, pressing little soft kisses to it.

the truth is, he actually acknowledges that. there are just times when he felt he didn't look good with it. which is a "complete lie" as you would always refer to. it's just that there are times that he feels not good enough than believing that he is.

you furrowed your brows. is he really not gonna accept your compliments? but what you said are all true though. he's really pretty no matter how state he's in.

his drool wasn't even there and the morning glory he mentioned was not even a big deal to you. he's a human, of course he will have those. it's still cute and pretty to you?

"chaaaaaan." you dragged his name out.

"yes?" he looks up to you, finding you in your puppy eyes and a pout. "what?"

"what do you mean 'what'?" you whined.

he softly sighed. your whining, it's cute. this isn't gonna finish until he finally gives in. he just wants to cuddle with you and press kisses in your skin.

"okay okay.." he smiles at you. "i'm pretty, i get it." you immediately smiled and pressed a soft peck in his forehead, and again. and again. "a lie but thank you."

"chan." you warned. that's not a lie.

"i'm kidding baby. let me go back to kissing you please?" he asks you nicely. you narrowed your eyes on him. "i promise! i'm pretty, i know that. even with my morning state and breath, i'm pretty."

"exactly. glad to know that you know that."

[ultschan]

[2:06] you don't know where it went wrong.

a relationship that started out as all rainbows and flowers, colors magically appearing as you felt the love given to you. a boyfriend who gives you happiness and a reason to see the beauty in your dull world.

it was a happy relationship. equal time for each other, quick to resolve problems, attentiveness, an open relationship. whenever there was an arguement, the two of you always find a way to forgive each other and understand opinions.

there was never a day when you weren't so thankful for having chan by your side. you're always so grateful for you have found your source of happiness. you have found your other half. you have found a home. you have found an arms that would protect you. chan, who is there to give you a chance to see the blue sky, green trees, his pale skin, his pinkish lip color, and the world.

through his love, you had the chance to experience having a colorful world. before him, it was all grey and cold. it wasn't pretty. it looks dead. everything is sad. you were happy but you weren't exactly happy. you were just.. happy. you were happy because you can see things but not, because you cannot appreciate it. not when others see the beauty of it's paint in the colors of the rainbow.

the rainbow is pretty as it sounds. you know there's yellow, red, blue.. those other colors but never actually got to see what it looks like.

it's all thanks to chan that you can see the beauty of these things.

the sound of the door opening and closing after your boyfriend entered had you shutting your eyes fast. you didn't notice the way your tears fell down your cheeks.

but you did notice the darkness when you shut your eyes.

this.. this is what it looks like when you feel unloved. this is what it looks like before. dark and grey.

you shifted your body, turning away from him as the bed dips down from his weight. you felt him face the other side of the bed and it made you open your eyes.

it's grey.

you don't know where it went wrong.

chan has stopped loving you. he has stopped loving you for days.

during those days of trying, nothing is happening at all. not even a tinge of his milky pale skin, not even his black hair, or his dark brown orbs. you tried making him love you again but it doesn't seem to work out.

did he finally had enough of you? did he found someone else? is he tired of loving you? is he tired of putting up with you?

he doesn't know. he doesn't even know that you know.

'he's probably going to break up with me one of these days.' you thought.

you closed your eyes as multiple tears slid down your face. you heard him sigh into his sleep and you had to control your body and sobs to not wake him up.

you missed the colors. you missed him. you missed everything. you missed the both of you.

but it's probably never going to happen again. not when he already fell out of love with you.

[ultschan]

[9:01] brushing your shoes off to the side of your apartment, you lazily dragged your body towards the couch. it was a long day at work and all you just want to do is to lay down and have your deserved 48 hours rest.

you plopped down with a thud, burying your face in the silk covered pillow. not only you were exhausted but your head was throbbing in pain as well. today was just not your day all you wanna do is close your eyes and not move at all.

few minutes have passed, you can hear the apartment's password being opened yet you didn't even spare a glance or care at all about it. only your boyfriend knows the password to your apartment. he's probably the one outside trying to enter.

you could hear him entering with his footstep, shoving his shoes aside which is probably sitting next to yours by now.

"baby, i'm home." he called out from the entrance. you only hummed in response, trying to shift your head on the other side to get yourself comfortable. "baby?"

as you lifted your chin up, you groaned at the sudden pain you felt and quickly buried your face again at the pillow.

chan walked towards you, feeling worried. he crouched down to your level and gently massaged the sides of your head.

"are you okay?" he asked. you shook your head as a response and let out a small whimper. he started adding a little pressure to his massages. "yeah, you're not."

it was obvious but he just wanted to ask you.

"i'll run you a bath." and he jogged off to your bathroom. you heard him turn the water on and tried to sit down. you removed your top and pants leaving you in just your underwears. chan came back from the bathroom and helped you stand up, leading you towards the tub.

he gently helped you remove your underwear and made you sat down in the warm bubbled water with blue bath bomb in it.

"how's your day?"

you closed your eyes with his massages to relieve your stress. "not good." he hummed as a response. although he didn't push you to talk, he listened to you trying to tell him what actually happened.

chan tried to put shampoo on your hair and scratch it which made you moan and lean back. he chuckled at you and just did what he had to with your hair.

"baby, can you wash your body? i have to prepare the dinner i bought." you nodded at him. "you need to take a medicine after we eat, okay? i'll be back in a minute."

and you did what he said, took care of your body and before you know it, he's back at the bathroom with your towel.

"up." he helped you get up and wrapped the towel around your body. he leaned forward to kiss your forehead. "you good?"

"hmm."

"come on. let's get you dressed, eat, and drink meds." you looked at him tiredly and he looked at you back. a pout made it's way to your face and he chuckled. "what?"

"that's it?"

"yes?" chan teasingly answered you only to see you pout even more.

"no cuddles?."

"okay and cuddles."

[ultschan]

[5:54] there were eyes boring to you in pure adoration as the sun was yet to rise, having the urge to wake you in your peaceful sleep just so you can watch the sun. chan smiled to himself admiring your pouted, slightly parted lips, a chuckle from him soon following after.

your boyfriend spent minutes looking over you, occasionally stroking your hair, and leaving little pecks to the sides of your face and to your forehead. one will be able to tell how whipped this man was for you. imaginative hearts that flashed his eyes everytime he scans your face says a lot.

finally deciding it was time you wake up, he gently tapped the side of your hip. you stirred in your sleep, scooting closer to him. "baby, let's watch the sunrise." he told you, slightly whispering.

you mumbled an "mmhm" as a response but wasn't even fully awake yet. chan kept tapping your side, shaking you a little.

"what?" he chuckled when you whined towards him, slightly feeling bad waking you up for this. he knew you were tired but you mentioned that you loved seeing the sunrise, especially with someone dear watching beside. it heals you. he thought that it was the perfect opportunity considering he'll get busy in a few days.

as the right side of your eye opened, you saw the face of your boyfriend peering over you, his chin bending down. 'what a beautiful man', you thought.

"let's watch the sunrise together?" he asked you. you took a look around the window covered with a blind and saw that it was still dark. "it's almost sunrise."

"why are you up so early?" you curiously asked him.

"set an alarm." he simply said, flashing you a small smile. "you didn't wake up though," he told you and sat up, stretching his arms and turning his head side to side. "sleepy head."

"hey! i was tired!" you defensed.

as soon as you said that, a chuckle escaped from his lips. "i know."

you sat up as well and immediately spaced out, still feeling so sleepy. your eyes half closed and your lips was pouted. chan looked over you and smiled.

"i prepared hot chocolates. we can sip some while we watch." chan told you. he was prepared, got up to make hot chocolates and went back to bed, killing the time by admiring your sleeping face.

as he got no response, he looked over you and saw you were still half asleep and your head kind of rocking back and forth but conposing yourself immediately and blinked quickly.

"i really want to kiss you right now."

your mind quickly processing his words as you looked at him, brows furrowed. what he said definitely woke you up.

"it's early to be being so disgusting like that." you told him.

chan laughed at you. "i'm serious."

"well i am too." you looked at him with a grumpy, still sleepy expression. "i haven't even brushed my teeth yet."

he pressed his lips in a thin line.

"true." he said. "but it's not like we use our teeth for kissing. we can just press our lips together or have our tongue-"

your eyes suddenly widens in surprise at his words. "chan!"

"what?" he playfully smirks, wiggling his brows after. "don't you want to kiss me?"

"yes!" you said almost too quick. "no." you recovered but you realized you sounded silly. "why are we talking about this?"

"oh come on," he teased you. "are you bothered talking about kissing? or using tongues?" he continued. "we literally had made love-"

"chan," you said and felt your cheeks heating up. "let's kiss later, okay? let me prepare myself first. i don't want my stinky breath to be kissing that golden mouth of yours. that's like so embarrassing."

"you think i care about your breath?" he chuckled. "and stop with that mouth praising. i just brushed my teeth, it's not a big deal."

"oh but i should actually praise you though," you said and chan was the one who raised his brows at you. "that mouth gives wonders."

chan slowly processed the words and felt his cheeks heating up at your comment, suddenly feeling flustered. looking at his reaction, you laughed while standing up, heading towards the bathroom to prepare yourself.

"you're insane." chan playfully told you.

"yeah," you agreed with him, stepping inside and stopping to say more before closing the door. "you're insane for making me insane over you while keeping me sane for my sake."

a smile crept up his lips and he shaked his head after hearing what you said.

"god, i just love you so much."

[ultschan]

[8:01] it's one of those days. you felt so tired, exhausted. feeling so emotionally drained. you've cried your hearts out but it still feels so heavy.

you have been through so much that sometimes you couldn't do anything anymore. it was too much to handle for you. you just don't want it anymore.

with your face lying flat on your pillow, a small 'ding' came in. a notification had popped on your phone. your eyes squinted with the brightness when you tried to read it.

stray kids had uploaded a video, haven office look. still with a heavy feeling, you clicked on it.

it was a gift from them. "oh, it's august 1st."

stray kids.

these boys have been a huge part of you. giving you so much support and love that no one has ever given you before. despite the fact that you were strangers with each other, the connection you had towards them was undeniably strong and beautiful.

they were like a family to you. a friend who held out a hand for you to get out of the darkness. a crying shoulder when you needed someone the most. people who have saved you in so many different things and ways that you cannot explain.

they were one of the lights that had given you so much hope, assuring you that all of these pain are temporary and you will be happy again.

in the video, you saw them standing in a line holding different coloured papers with a text in it.

"stay, whatever you do.. it's okay." you read.

tons of emotions have settled in again. that was it. the tears flowed to your cheeks again and you definitely felt the reassurance and the hope. it's okay, they said.

things may not be okay for now but eventually it will. you can cry all you want and let the emotions free. it's okay.

truly, they were your safe place, your haven. a family that lifts you up and makes you happy all the time. someone that loves you and someone that cares for you. someone that assures you and someone that will be there for you.

"happy birthday stay."

the video ended. you were tired so you closed your eyes and tried to get some rest. a smile has made it's way again to your face.

you were really thankful for them, everytime.

[ultschan]

[2:50] the moon was shining bright at midnight, a few stars appearing in the sky. you definitely missed looking at the sight this night because there you were knocked out in your bed. after a long day at work, you just wanted nothing but sleep.

however your boyfriend, chan, who was now in his car on the way to your apartment was very excited to see you. he tried to ring your phone so that he could tell you but you don't pick up.

with face flat on the pillow, the annoying ring jolted you awake from sleeping. you couldn't help but be irritated because who in the right mind wants to call at 2 am?

as you opened your phone, your eyes squinted at the brightness. there were 9 missed calls from your boyfriend which had you confused. why was he calling that late?

chan in the car waited for a few minutes to call you again but before he could, you were already calling him. he smiled before answering.

"hey princess."

you left out a soft hum in response. "hey," your voice was still raspy.

"were you sleeping?" he asked softly. immediately closing your eyes, you answered him 'yes'. "i'm sorry i disturbed you." he said with a chuckle, feeling bad.

"no no, it's okay!" you replied. "why did you call me though?" you pressed the loudspeaker.

as you did, you hear a sound of a car kinda speeding. you yawned. "are you in the car?"

"yeah i am." tiredly, you responded with an 'ah.' when chan sensed your tired voice, he decided to tell you where he was going. "actually i'm going to your place."

you hummed, not fully grasping what he said. it took you a few seconds to do and you sat up on your bed.

"you what?!"

he chuckled. "i'm in front of your apartment, come down." you hurriedly stood up from sitting and grabbed a random hoodie from your wardrobe as well as some sweatpants to help yourself warm in the chilly weather. "don't end the call." he spoke through the phone.

you made sure that you look okay enough to talk to your boyfrind, smelled yourself and your breath which you definitely didn't think was appropriate so you went to brush your teeth really fast.

"princess, what are you doing?" he asked you.

"give me a minute chan!" you shouted from the bathroom.

you heard him chuckle through the phone and replied with okay in a cute tone. "1.. 2.. 3.." he counted.

when chan reached 30 seconds, you grabbed your phone and keys then locked the door (in case) and went down almost tripping. you saw chan far from you and he sees you too.

this was the first time you saw him in a week so maybe you missed each other a little bit too much.

you ran towards him regretting after almost really tripping before he immediately caught you in the arm. thanks to chan and his reflexes or you would actually kiss the ground before you get to kiss him.

"why the rush?" he chuckled. he wrapped his arms around your waist. "clumsy." he whispered, inhaling the scent of your hair.

"i missed you." you mumbled on his chest and he looks down at you with a smile. "it's been a week."

"exactly, it's just a week and you missed me that much?" he teased while you pouted and rolled your eyes. you slapped his chest playfully while he dramatically clutches it like it hurts. "stop being so violent. that is how you act after not seeing me?"

"you really had the audacity to tease me when you spammed me with messages for the past few days telling me how much you missed me too and rang my phone 9 times a while ago–"

he pecked your lips and you felt your lips tug and form into a smile. he followed with a peck on the cheeks, nose, and stayed a little longer in your forehead.

"you talk too much." he mumbled. "i was kidding. i missed you a lot."

with eyes closed, you felt chan sway you a little and press few kisses to your forehead again. god, you really love this man. he is so sweet and caring towards you. he always calls you cute names because he thinks you suit them. he makes sure to check on you everytime. he makes time to call you or facetime you. you just couldn't ask for more.

"you sleepy?" he asked you pulling you away from your thoughts. you shook your head. "how about we go for a ride, go to eat, and sleep in my car?"

"i like the sound of that."

[ultschan]

[4:31] under the sun, there lies you and your boyfriend chan. the cool breeze blowing both of you and really enjoying the amazing scenery in front of you. chan was laying in his side, his eyes going back and forth to the scene and you. obviously, you didn't notice his staring as you were busy closing your eyes, loving the feeling of being healed in so many ways.

you opened your eyes and looked at chan who was now looking in front. a smile made its way to your face because he looks like an art and the field makes it even better. you quickly unlocked your phone, taking a photo of him.

as you sat up while plucking little flowers near you, chan sat up as well looking at you admiringly. the wind causes your hair to fly all over your face and you tried to remove it especially the hair that has gotten inside your mouth.

"you didn't bring your scrunchies?" chan asked, his hand scooting over to brush the excess hair in your face.

you shook your head. "i was way too excited for our date today." he follows with a chuckle.

an idea suddenly pops out of chan's mind. "hey?" you hummed in response. "can you move a little closer to me?"

you were confused as to why but complied. he was on your back so you waited for him to say something.

"can i do your hair?" he asks, face popping in the side of yours. you chuckled and asked why. "i want to try braiding you. i've seen you do that so many times and i want to practice it so maybe i can help you if you want me to when you.. feel lazy?" he trailed off.

chan is so cute, what the hell.

"sure." you replied shortly and gave him a quick peck on the lips. a small grin was planted on his face as he asked you to turn your back on him.

he started braiding your hair and to your surprise, he was better than you think he would be. truth is before asking you, he watched some cute braiding styles on youtube so he pretty much picked it up. in a few minutes, the messy braid was done. your hair was split into two sections and both of them were definitely cute.

"done!" he smiled at you.

"let me see it." you excitingly turned to him and asked him to take a photo of it but he just turns you back again.

"wait. stay still." you heard him move a little from his seat and you also felt him doing something with your hair. "done!"

he took a picture of it and showed you. it was messy but it looked good and there were little white flowers stuck in a few strands. what he made was really beautiful.

"don't move too much. we have nothing to tie those up." he patted your head a little.

you nodded. "thank you chan, for making me pretty." you gave him a warm smile and it made his heart melt. he cupped your cheeks and moved his face closer to yours.

"you are already pretty but you're welcome."