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Ocho lugares que me recuerdan a ti.
“I dream of painting and then I paint my dream”. Vincent van Gogh
feel good things:
watch sunrises. somehow, this makes me feel like the beginning of something new, the birth of my better, stronger self. watch the way the sun rises, because just like that, you will rise and shine, too.
sing your heart out. dance until you’re exhausted. make art until you run out paint. write out your feelings. indulge in your passion and do it like you’re doing it to impress yourself.
relive your favorite, happiest memory. it is one easy guaranteed effective way to make your heart, your soul, and even your lips smile. no bias.
rewatch your favorite film. grab some chips or a bucket of popcorn and have a marathon of your most-watched flicks. don’t hesitate to replay your favorite scenes if you feel the need to.
aspire and try to be kind, always. being kind on a daily basis is possibly one of the most exhausting and draining thing to ever do but i promise at the end of the day, before you go to sleep you will realize: it is worth it. always.
take a shower. scrub off your creeping self-doubts, smell nice, and bask yourself with self-love. take your time to ponder about your life inside the tub. this is the best time to reevaluate and relax.
be spontaneous even just for one day. drive away from the city. get a haircut. go on a coffee shop hopping. sketch random places. let your heart and your thoughts wander. let your soul soar and be free.
treat yourself. it does not necessarily have to be something enormous or expensive. it could just be a new set of brushes or getting a thrifted second-hand book or buying yourself some bouquet of fresh flowers. it’s not about the tags, it’s about the thought.
rekindle your love for a forgotten passion. nothing beats falling in love with something the second time around. touch your dusty piano keys, change your rusty violin strings, and once again (just like the old days), let your ardor dance in harmony.
take a nap. because sometimes, the best way to temporarily solve something, is to do nothing. yes, it is only ethical to give yourself a break from the overwhelming society. and yes, taking a nap most of the time makes everything better.
if you want to or feel the need to, cry. there is nothing wrong with doing something that is inherent. this does not prove that you are weak, it only proves that you are a human being capable of feeling things. so really, do not ever plan to hinder yourself from crying. it’s often times therapeutic.
do something that you have never done before. no more excuses. just because there is nothing more empowering and satisfying than crossing something out of your bucketlist.
#CALL HIM OUT
Flower Of Evil: A tiptoe into more psychopathology vs normalcy
So this is not full proof that this is the next drama this blog will focus on. However, I must say that after 4 episodes I have become seduced by the storyline of Flower of Evil. Instead of analysing the mystery of the show; how Do Hyun So ended up being framed up in this mess (plus what actually happened 18 years ago with his family). I want to focus again on psychology. In fact, my observations are that it seems this year’s theme of dramas is exploring the fight to be accepted when you are seen or have something psychologically wrong with you. So what’s up with Korea wanting to show the truth of people with ASPD on screen. There has been a portrayal of people with this disorder, not wanting to be known for what they have. They want to be known for what their potential could be if treated equally, focusing on their need to be in control and rational.
Psychopathology vs Normalcy
This shows up as massive bases for these two dramas. We are introduced to Go Moon Young, in Psycho, but it’s okay and Do Hyun So in this drama Flower of Evil. I love how both titles have the juxtaposition of two concepts in them. One is Psycho, but it’s okay; being seen as Psycho means you have something wrong with your mind, so you’re not meant to be okay. On the other hand, with Flower of Evil; flowers are typically perceived as beautiful and symbolise innocence, love and positivity, so evil is not meant to be connected with these two. These titles correlate with the feelings our characters have with how the world perceives them vs what they actually think and want to be. They crave normalcy and warmth while the world believes they should be cold and emotionless. While it’s okay to not be okay aims to give a message about how people are all normal even if they struggle with what’s wrong with them, they still deserve love and warmth.
The Diagnosis
The similarities of both our character’s quest for freedom of trauma and abuse and need to be loved: Do Hyun So is born with ASPD, unfortunately for him, people did not have a full understanding for it and as we are shown they believed he was possessed and continued to abuse him in need to try and eradicate what was wrong with him. Already he has been outcasted by everyone and society never to really have a place to fall on unless he starts again with no one knowing who he is. Meanwhile, Moon Young is forced and groomed into having ASPD. She doesn’t have ASPD, but judged because of her actions; taught to her by her mother. When young, Moon Young was isolated, and people viewed her as a monster, not understanding why she said or did the things she did. To protect who she loves, she also chased them away by showing them an action which was seen as monstrous. (chasing Gang Tae away by killing butterflies)
The Lover Both become obsessed with someone who brings them a new perspective of wanting to be healthy. Ji Won shows up and falls for Hyun So immediately she sees him, she’s attracted to him and fights to be liked by him. Hyun So realises that she can be used to fake normalcy with his new identity and also understands that she helps his trauma (the ghost of his dad) disappear. Quite similar Gang Tae is attracted to Moon Young for saving his life and also fights to be liked by her when younger, she also realises he’s the prince that can introduce her to new emotions. However, he runs away when she tries to chase him away. And fights to succumb to his feelings when they are reunited because of how he perceives her. Ji Won doesn’t yet know her husband has ASPD and is hiding his identity, and now she is slowly uncovering the truth. Gang Tae is exposed to Moon Young from the start and runs away once he discovers it. Both can be cruel when they want. Hyun So is to protect the people in his life (I’m sure if he murdered before it’s because he was protecting his sister or someone he cares about and in the act of defence or anger he does it) but he also uses cruelty to prevent his secret from coming out. Moon Young uses cruelty only to teach people realism and help people overcome their trauma. She believes there’s no need to shy away from the truth.
The Parent Both have psychopath parents who are killers with no remorse. Hyun So father is apparently a serial killer who probably forced him to watch and learn his actions. And Moon Young has a mother with ASPD that killed people to make sure they don’t take her or her daughter to the hospital. Each parent is connected to the very root of the trauma both characters suffer from. There is a need for both not to want to end up like their parent even though the world connects them to that.
Do Hyun So, has been on the run for his life for 18 years; adopted as another family’s son. He is also married with this identity and has a kid. He is now desperate to cover up his secrets and make sure no one finds out the truth. Moon Young also rewrote her life becoming famous, actively declaring her self as an orphan despite both her parents being alive, and accepted her fate to be alone and continue being emotionless/monster people viewed her as. Her wealth is protected by her being a well-renowned fairy-tale author. Again both of them have sought different transformations to escape their past while trying to be normal for the sake of it. Do Hyun So actively conceals his identity while Moon Young embraces parts of hers and works hard to erase her connection to her parents.
The Trauma However, both have traumatic PTSD visions from their past. Do Hyun So starts seeing his father appear in front of him each time he’s angry or prone to react, and he becomes frightened and terrified. Moon Young has sleep paralysis because of nightmares of her mother pinning her to the bed and telling her she’ll kill anyone she lets into her life. Gang Tae provides Moon Young, a sleeping doll to take away her nightmares, and being with him teaches her to want to let go of her trauma. Ji Won also provides refuge for Hyun So because she makes his father’s vision disappear. Again the idea of love providing this place for them to feel safe and secure in becomes a theme as well in the show. Both have to stop trying to be in control in other to get healing, and right now Hyun So is breaking all his efforts little by little and its causing him to spiral. However the saying the truth will set you free is real, once his wife can see past his disorder and past, they both will help him get his name cleared and also maybe have a relationship that is based on their authentic selves being exposed.
The Mask Flower of evil takes a different turn though as we try to uncover this murder case and who is framing Do Hyun So, it becomes apparent that Hyun So isn’t the psychopath killer people have labelled him as because of his ASPD. Instead, he tries hard to wear a mask where he practises fake smiles, fake emotions and counterfeit feelings by looking at cue cards that show those very same emotions. This is similar to the cue cards, Moon Young is shown by Gang Tae when he thought she didn’t understand feelings. These are used for his brother as well with autism.) The theme of PBIO was the unravelling of the masks and embracing the real person. I wonder if Flower of evil will continue on with that theme. So far, I am intrigued by the show.
The Truth I believe that just as Moon Young, the reason why Hyun So is so desperate to control the narrative is that he knows people will keep labelling him because of his ASPD as a monster. No one will believe his truth or the reveal of his story of what happened in the past. No one would be able to vouch for him because they all thought he was crazy, and he also had a parent who was an actual serial killer, it makes it even harder to believe him. He instead retains this façade, though you see him show a little bit of hurt/resentment in episode 4 when Ji Won mentions his ASPD and uses it to connect his reasons for murder and her sheer belief that he is the murder suspect everyone is looking for. He isn’t happy but resigns himself to the fact that it will always be this way. What I think he doesn’t know is that his wife won’t be that way I predict, she’ll panic at first, but like she said at the beginning of episode 1 when she kisses him underwater, she will continue to love him unconditionally no matter what. So she will be the key to unveiling the real truth hopefully.
The most horrible thing you can do to a parent is to give up on being happy just because you feel sorry towards them.
It’s Okay to Not Be Okay - The Father of the Two Sisters | Episode 13
It’s okay to not be okay + Hogwarts alignment
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