Bitchy Vampire

22 / here for astarion / idk

[unaesthetic-wizard]

Writing bg3 blog is @vampire-mess

Only made this cause bg3 is taking over my main blog with astarion lust

[valc0]

[shiroishi8]

[fluffy-top]

OK, so going one step further than the game does with the joke of Karlach and Gales blood's effect on Astarion.

Gale - Tastes very sour, in a way you scrunch up your face at first but then want more. It's infused with magic too so the reaction from drinking it is exactly like drinking far to many vodka red bulls. Hopping of the walls with energy. Flash-backs to Uni levels of smashing down 2-3 of them in a row and feeling your heart beat faster than a drum. They used to serve trebles and it's possible cocaine would have been less detrimental to your health. 110% that comic with, "Ew sour...but the flavour intrigues." Hit the nail on the fucking head.

Karlach - Just the -why is it spicy-meme. Burns in a way that actually hurts but also that stupid monkey part of your brain is like hehe I wanna do that again. Very giving yourself an electric shock out of boredom when left alone with a button warning you it will do that very thing for 15 minutes, but Astarion is the maniac that pressed it 190 times. Back ground flavour of eating every Christmas spice at once over-powered by burning. Hard to place anyone of the flavours, but oh, boy am I willing to try.

Both - Very much that kombucha girl face. 200 years of everything tasting the same and suddenly getting everything weird and wonderful?

[halluciniwaynia]

the cope over karlach saying she wants to ride astarion until he sees stars and her being described as pan by her creator…crazy. lesbians come get your fool I know y’all are better than this

[hourlyastarion-deactivated202312]

[chromaticabrasions]

*dreamy sigh* fruit juice :]

[sleepynomi]

*pulling my gay vampire lover away from my neck* the fuck did you just call my blood

[otterlyart]

"The last thing you hear is… 'I don’t want to go back!'"

[hajizomenoise]

[zombiefox-x]

Baldur's Gate 3 (2/?)

[greelin]

how many times can this happen. to one man. to me

[emahriel]

come grab your new morning alarm fellas (x)

[aliquistis]

I love how bad Astarion is with his cover story. You meet him and he's like "I'm a magistrate" then he stealths, disarms a trap, double dashes and backstabs a goblin all while giggling about spilling blood and you're just like hm yeah that's the legal system for you

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Tav: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Astarion: *crying* It’s not a joke! I’m a legit snack.

[agirlwithadiary]

Gale "you make me forget about a goddess" dekarios. 😭

My man's game is out of the world 😭

[stars-and-clouds]

HE DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO HE DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO HE DIDN'T WANT TO LET GO!!! -screams-

[dmbakura]

Astarion: could you trust me a little further? to drink your blood?

Dark Urge: only if i can drink yours

Astarion: wh- why would you need t-

Dark Urge: oh this isn't a safe space suddenly