Just your local lady lover

maybe I’m 20 maybe I’m 30 maybe I’m 97 but I definitely am gay as fuck

[uncle-sams-dirty-socks]

Hello, how are you? I hope I am not bothering you. I'm writing to you as I am living through the hardest moments of my life. Hashem is slowly dying in front of my eyes and our children. He needs an urgent surgery, and I am helpless to save him. Please, your donation and sharing of our story could be the reason my husband's life is saved. My children deserve not to lose their father. Verified by @/gazavetters #53 @qamar2026

Hello random scammer next time try someone who isn’t $60,000 in debt

[girlnextvore]

When you see a Prep in hottopic

[girlnextvore]

“This Prep is ready for war bring it you emo fuck”

[girlnextvore]

why are people reblogging this again

this post is like 11 years old

WHY AREYALL DOING THIS

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

[girlnextvore]

hey

fuck you LOL

[porcelain-rob0t]

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

[derryderrydown]

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

[politenotice]

[interestingmistakes]

[hollanovarchive]

Hello, do you know of any fics where Hayden, Hollander parents, & others think that Ilya is abusing Shane & Shane has to defend him?

I could not find a lot, so I would love some help with this one (: Also, this is similar to another anon who asked "fics where everyone thinks ilya is controlling/bad boyfriend but they are proven wrong please." I decided to combine them together!

Misunderstood Ilya

🏒 or don't text me at all 

Some of Shane's text conversations with "Lily" that, if leaked, could reasonably be construed as Shane having an abusive girlfriend. He just has a pain kink, though.

🏒 Boston Lily | 1.2k

After a meet-up with 'Boston Lily', Shane shows up at practice with some suspicious bruises. Hayden notices

🏒 It's Illegal in Canada, Shane! | 1.3k

When Hayden catches sight of Shane leaving Ilya’s hotel room with bruises, he makes some…incorrect assumptions

🏒 Wrong end of the stick AKA How Scott Hunter learned about Ilya and Shane | 1.8k

“That’s because you are an asshole.” Scott had not meant to say it out loud, but he didn’t like Rozanov. He was an asshole. And despite what he was seeing with his own eyes, always thought Ilya was homophobic, or certainly not accepting of the queer culture given he was from Russia.

🏒 Unexpected Joy | 2.0k

Yuna wasn’t sure what she had expected Ilya Rozanov to be like off the ice, but it definitely wasn’t this.

🏒 Call Me Boring | 2.0k

🔒 In which Ilya thinks he is being too mean to Shane, and Shane tries to figure out why his menace of a boyfriend is suddenly a saint.

🏒 Does It Have To Be Him? | 2.9k

Five times Hayden's perception on Shane and Ilya's relationship is changed and one time he finally admits that it just might not be that bad.

🏒 3 Times People Worry About Shane (+1 Time They Really Don’t Have To) | 3.0k

“Of course I’m not okay with this - he’s fucking hurting you Shane.” Yuna takes the opportunity to finally say it outright. She doesn’t hide the vitriol in her tone.

🏒 I Do It For You | 3.0k

jj and hayden visit shane at the cottage & jj realises there’s more to rozanov than he ever knew

🏒 Peak Ipad Kid Ilya | 3.2k

Ilya is always looking through Shane's phone. The team is just worried about Shane.

🏒 He's Lovering Your Mother | 3.5k

Shane and Hayden go to see Shane's parents, when Rozanov is there, Hayden jumps to a very wrong conclusion.

🏒 it's not what it looks like | 4.0k

“Right, right,” Hayden replied, “Ok. Here goes,” Hayden looked down at his phone before looking back up at his wife, the dreadful words falling from his lips, “I think Shane’s in an abusive situation. And I think the abuser could be Boston Lily.”

🏒 rozzy's protection squad | 4.2k

 J.J. and Hayden don't understand why Shane chose Rozanov

🏒 Knowing You | 4.2k

Five times that people were wrong about Ilya Rozanov.

🏒 Lazy | 5.2k

Shane finally looses it on JJ

🏒 Spit In My Mouth | 9.2k

5 times the Centaurs and other GC friends think Ilya is being a pushy or bossy twat to Shane, and one time they see Shane's true colors

🏒 Thawing Ice | 9.3k

Yuna Hollander thinks Rozanov is an asshole. Rozanov proves her wrong.

🏒 Even Gingerale Can't Fix This | 12.7k

Hayden is forced to see a different side of Ilya and begins to understand his relationship with Shane/what Shane sees in him.

🏒 you know i think about you all the time (my deep misunderstanding of your life) | 14.4k

Hayden finds himself unlearning everything he thought he knew about Ilya Rozanov

🏒 I Like Jane For You | 17.6k

After a mix-up leaves Hayden with the wrong phone for three days, he ends up learning more about Ilya Rozanov and his secret girlfriend, Jane.

🏒 Oh I’m Tricky, But You Figured Me Out | 22.7k

Just Shane casually assuming he'll always have to share and never be enough for Ilya and Ilya horrified to realize just how resigned Shane is to assuming Ilya will never be satisfied with him the way Shane is with Ilya

🏒 Hayden Pike's Gay Agenda | WIP

Hayden is trying to figure out how to break up Shane and Lily. Ilya is trying to figure out who is sending him threatening texts about his relationship with Shane

🏒 Progression | WIP

Yuna doesn't like him.

🏒 Weak Excuses | WIP

5 times people believed Shane is trapped in an abusive marriage and the 1 time Shane sets the record straight ft. misunderstandings, good intentions and a bisexual Russian menace who loves his boring Canadian husband

If you have any suggestions, feel free to add (:

Make sure to check out other fic rec request here -> Requested Lists

[lavenderprose]

My Vegas breakdown is making the rounds again and I would like to remind people that DOM DROP is real and also Ilya Rozanov has no idea that it's happening to him. Yes Ilya is a mean dom, especially that night, but the cigarette and vodka conversation was not part of the scene and the reason he's choosing not to communicate in that moment is because he is fully in Dom drop and literally feels like he cannot communicate. Shane, sitting next to him, is fully in sub drop and ALSO feels like if he actually opens his mouth to ask for what he wants (Kisses) then he's going to throw up or ask for something insane. Also they're in love and hiding it badly. Also Ilya is going back to Russia in a matter of days. Also Shane has been feeling some version of chewed up and spat out for over six months at this point. They're not doing WELL. And they're not doing it to each other it's just. Happening.

[mikkeneko]

PSA to fan creators who don't have a lot of regular contact with children: They are almost always bigger than you think. A 1-year-old baby may already be walking. A toddler is likely already hip-high. A 10-year-old may already be taller than at least one of their parents. A 14/15 year old may already have reached their adult height.

[amarguerite]

Via @watertightvines

[wildjuniperjones]

Here's the link. It was actually not immediately easy to find, so I thought this might help.

[whyenn-reader]

part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

[hr-rep]

Shane getting criticized for not using pride tape and he’s caught on a mic later that week saying I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sucking dick that made me gay but the rainbow . Which is how he comes out.

[corviiids]

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

[aberrantemotion]

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

[k8rgrl]

For those unfamiliar, or simply wanting to see it again:

[placethemoonatmyeyes]

stop making shows about americans in europe… try europeans in america instead. the outrage of not knowing exactly what something costs at a store,, no public transport,, everyone smiling in your face and waiters scaring you by constantly popping up at your table… ice in your water for some reason,, the kind of culture clash i want to see!!

[obliqe]

fuck emily in paris i want françois in texas

[yardsards]

ivan in west virginia

all his neighbours immediately distrust him because he’s russian and they haven’t gotten over the red scare and also no one new has moved in to the town in almost a decade

but then he participates in podunknowheresville’s annual lawnmower race with a monstrosity made from scrap metal and far too much duct tape and he wins second place in a neck-and-neck final round against sam americason, the most anti-russian man in the village

and ivan is scared that he blew his one chance to get accepted by the community but then sam jumps off his lawnmower and pats ivan on the back and says “you did good, brother. i’m sorry i misjudged you. looks like hillbillies are the same no matter what country we come from. you’re just like us, ivan. guess our redneck town has room for a little extra red” and everybody laughs and the credits roll while the ussr national anthem gets played on a banjo and washboard

[headspace-hotel]

Seconding Ivan in West Virginia

[vulcanette-deactivated20260506]

the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!

[vedajuno]

[allthestarscantfillalifetime]

The over-pronunciation of every word is so spot on lol

[dogpuppy]

[synkcity]

🏆 Some Hollanov Fics I'm Obsessed with (so far!) 🏆

I've read a lot of Hollanov fics and I wanted to share some of my favorites. Part 2 HERE

Shane Hollander Goes Casual (so cool and unbothered) by self_cursed [26.6k words | 13 chapters]

Set sometime after Sochi. Shane, seeing Ilya with other people, decides to play the field a bit himself. Of course Ilya crashes out about it. Angsty but a happy ending of course.

Love In The Dark by azraelriego [250k words | 21 chapters]

Post Break-Up/Getting Back Together. My absolute favorite non-traditional A/B/O and Mpreg fic. I have re-read this so many times, I can almost recite in my sleep.

Grin and Bear It by giveemhale [9.6k words | 2 chapters]

Do you wanna see Shane crash out? This is the fic for you. There are so few fics (that I have found at least) that deal with Shane actually sitting with the horrors that have happened to him after he and Ilya are outed and frankly, shit he's had to put with his whole life. This fic nails it.

Operation O Canada, or The Hollander-Rozanov Method of Soft Launching a Marriage by robbinscinquefoil [118.8k words | 8 chapters]

Basically, what if "I could marry Svetlana." for citizenship turned into Shane proposing marriage instead?

death and taxes (and shane hollander) by fingersfallingupwards [68k words | 12 chapters]

Angsty, second chance, old man yaoi. This fic HURT. Happy ending of course, but also bittersweet.

play destroy by kneeinjury [11.k words]

Ilya fucks Shane's girlfriend to get his attention. I have re-read this fic often. I get it, Ilya. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

courage [it couldn't come at a worse time] by veilofimagination [81.9k words | 9 chapters]

I mean no offense when I say this, but as far as I'm concerned, this is The Long Game.

hi shane, is this still available? by tunamelt (bbang1z) [6.6k words]

An AMAZING mixed media fic. I'm awe at what creators can do on AO3. Highly recommend the second piece in the series!

Meant To Be by azraelriego [260k+ words | 27/40 chapters]

Another A/B/O fic. No, this fic is not finished, yes, it is on the list. Marriage of connivence that turns into more.

Déjà vu by NotEvenCloseToStraight [350k+ words | WIP]

Again, no, this fic is not finished and yes, it is worthy of this list, even in its current state. Second chance romance. Ilya ghosts Shane after Vegas and they reunite 10 years later. This fic is so so SO good. Angsty as hell but the author has promised a happy ending.

(hopelessly) waiting for your love by attfna [63.6k words | 11 chapters]

An AU where Shane's brain made up Hollanov's entire relationship while he was unconscious recovering from a brain injury. This was such a cool, unique plot!

it’s the terror of knowing what this world is about by PrincessAmericaChavez [29.7k words | 10 chapters]

Shane, Ilya and a bunch of MHL players are taken hostage during the MHL awards in Las Vegas. Another pretty unique plot. This fic was one hell of a ride!

your eyes, they turn me by Cookiebycookie [66k words | 10 chapters]

At 20, Shane retires and goes to college at Harvard. Hollanov happens anyway. Something about this fic is so....cozy. I loved how Shane changed and grew as a person in this fic. It's how I imagine canon!Shane would have been had he had time to be more of person and less of a brand.

to build a home by foxriverblues [22.3k words | 4 chapters]

Childhood friends to lovers fic! Ilya and Shane grew up together in Canada, but after Irina's passing, Ilya's father moves the family back to Russia. 18 years later, Shane comes across Ilya's account on Instagram.

This list is getting long so I'll probably do a part 2 sometime later!

[existennialmemes]

I don't think it's unreasonable for our public officials to be expected to prove they're alive and not in a coma to be able to retain their office.

If someone were, as a random example, say hospitalized for over two weeks with no explanation, I think that should automatically trigger a special election to replace them.

If you're still able to do your job, then prove it. And if you're not, then you're actively obstructing democracy by not stepping down.

Which is to say, that if a public official were to pass away or into a coma, and their handers choose to obfuscate that fact, this should be seen as intentionally obstructing democracy.

And there should be, you know, consequences for the people who would do such a thing.

[ellisonwongparty]

like i do just think that maybe ilya being the more sensible one of the svetlana/ilya friendship is like really funny. like sure she's like there for him when he's sad or whatever but like when ilya's manic svetlana is like living for it. like she never will be like "you need a reality check" like she will just turbo charge his delusions to like a 120 percent. ilya will propose just an absolutely batshit idea and then svetlana will be like "let's do it RIGHT NOW like literally RIGHT NOW you have NO TIME TO WASTE THE PRESENT IS NOW" and it's lowkey really messy because like if manic!ilya and svetlana hang out for too long they like actually end up in a different country with like no memory of the last 2 weeks. like i think ilya quitting the khl to go to america was a svetlana/ilya bender moment. like i can totally picture 18 year old ilya upset about his shitty family and how he just wants to leave this country behind but he's like "but i have too many things holding me back here :(" and svetlana is just like "OH MY GOD FUCK THEM AND LET'S GO TO AMERICA... TOMORROW!!! YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!! SCREW MOSCOW LETS GO LETS DO THIS TODAY AND WE CAN HANG OUT IN BOSTON TOGETHER!!!!!!! LETS CALL BOSTON'S GM RIGHT NOW. LIKE RIGHT NOWwww" like why else are they just both in boston LOL.

and i love svetlana but like. when ilya's low and he's really depressed the only way svetlana thinks of how to make him feel better is just by being like being really obnoxious and shouting "COME ONNN LET'S GET FUN ILYA OUT!! WHERE'S FUN ILYA YOU'LL BE WAY LESS SAD IF YOU JUST GIVE INTO YOUR CRAZIEST IMPULSES AND GET FUN ILYA OUT!!"

[doubleca5t]

I'm not necessarily rooting for the US in the world cup but I do think it would be funny if they made a deep run if only because I feel like, for countries that are actually good at international football, "You lost to the USAmericans" would make for god tier trash talk

[doubleca5t]

Imagine you're from a country where this sport is like a national civic religion and you lose to a bunch of dork ass losers who call it soccer. There's no coming back from that

[doubleca5t]

I thought the USMNT making a deep run and embarrassing some European teams in the process would be the funniest outcome for them in the World Cup but Trump using FIFA's limitless appetite for corruption to get a red card overturned for their game against Belgium only for them to completely embarrass themselves, play way worse than usual and lose by 3 goals is SO much funnier holy shit that's incredible

[fuck-customers]