Undercaffeinated Faggots' Club

Life is too short to not be horny on main Minors need not interact

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

Sometimes, I just wanna be someone's little spoon. But I'm too tall. Everyone who's tried to be my big spoon has had their nose between my shoulder blades.

[californiasteph-deactivated2022]

idk who needs to hear this but your body is loveable 

[segamascott]

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

500 posts?

No way is that real...

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

Ok... wow! It's right...

And yes... I just counted.

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

While watching a murder documentary with my friend. A person is murdered in a tub.

Me: "It's a bloodbath in there!"

Friend: "Too soon! You've got to wait at least 5 minutes."

Me: "Technically, it happened like 10 years ago. I think we're fine."

[giggibaloggio]

warning ⚠️

[creepymutelilbugger]

reblog for a hit of the joint that makes you gay

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

Sometimes my gender is yes and my pronouns are no.

Sometimes my gender is no and my pronouns are yes.

Either way, I'm neutral and don't care.

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

500 posts?

No way is that real...

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

If people want to shame a woman, they say that she has slept with too many men.

If people want to shame a man, they say that he slept with another man.

It seems like society has decided that sleeping with men is embarrassing.

[emergencypocketbird]

Hear me out, hanging out with friends by going to see a movie together is not hanging out

To me it feels like I watched something and they happend to be sat near me, I didn't talk to them or interact, I don't get how seeing a movie with friends can be seen as hanging out if you spent 90% or more of the time not interacting

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

Watching the movie is never my favorite part. It's talking to my friends about the movie! Being cute little nerds together while we collectively freak out over the act 3 twist!

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

25 years old and still holding my adoptive parents accountable for staying in contact with my rapist. They only stopped when he ghosted them...in 2023. He was convicted in 2012.

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

Girlfriend: *gives perspective in a conversation*

Me: "Good point!" (same tone as "good girl")

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

Sufficeth to say, I will be drinking alcohol tonight.

[scramratz]

“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be free” men CAN get pregnant and they’re treated worse than women who can get pregnant

[scramratz]

oh folks really don't like being asked to consider trans men

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

That moment when you go out of your way to sit as far away from everyone on the bus as you can...and the next person goes out of her way to sit right next to you...so you kiss her.

Btw, she's my puppy girlfriend.

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

My puppy girlfriend is classically conditioned to get sick when eating chocolate. But when I bless it (wiggle my fingers at it and make weird sounds), the negative effects disappear. So now, when she wants chocolate, she has to go through two-factor authentication.

[undercaffeinatedfaggot]

On today's episode of "How Mormon Was I?"

I wasn't allowed to learn about brainwashing or emotional abuse.