Again, some scenes in this story aren't in the actual series, they're made up by moi. If I spelled anything wrong, please tell me :).
The checks that Ray sent stopped coming and you had to get two jobs to keep your family alive, with food on the table and a roof over your head. Things started to go down hill after he left.
Oscar grew up to be trouble. Dropping out of school, did the dirty work that Ray used to do, getting into gun fights, all the shit you tried to keep him out of.
However, your worst nightmare became reality, the one thing you told Oscar not to become.
You didn't feel like a mother. You worked all day, never got to see your boys growing up. Oscar helped you a lot, you couldn't imagine yourself surviving without him. Oscar got a job at Dwayne's Joint BBQ, but you knew that he did something on the side. The suspicious amount of money that he gave you wasn't from being a waiter, it had to be something else. You didn't question it, you went along with it, even though you should be concerned. You needed the money.
It wasn't just the money that Oscar helped you with, he raised his brother. He took care of him, cooked, cleaned, picked him up from school.
Oscar has some heavy weight on his shoulders. From all the anger, stress and sadness that he built up, all those emotions he kept inside, he let them out by doing all the worst things possible.
You felt guilty each year that passed, you wished that you did something different. To become a better mother, better person. You could've helped Oscar, maybe gotten him into therapy, giving him the love that a mother should give to her son, motivated him to stay in school, giving him a normal life that you wished for when you were his age. Now, it's too late.
Cesar grew up being a happy child, having his friends close to him all the time, that's how he got his love. From friends, not family. You loved his friends, they're always kind and they take care of Cesar. Their families loved you too, even though the Martinez had some grudge against you.
Cesar was different from Oscar and Ray, he's soft and kind, but he wanted to live up to his brother expectations.
Oscar made many bad decisions in his life, you two are always at each other throats. The worst fights that you had with Oscar was when he forced Cesar to join the Santos and then kicked him out.
That passed and things got better when the Prophets got taken.
"Y/n, honey, maybe you should go home" Your co-worker rubbed your back.
Being in your forties, you didn't have the same energy like you used to, work was killing you. The good news are that you got a promotion in the job you're currently doing, so you quit the other.
That doesn't sound like a bad idea. It's still 8:20 am, Cesar should be at school soon, I'll have the house to myself.
"Alright, but I'll work from home" You smiled at her and picked up your purse. The job wasn't far from your house.
You hummed and opened the door, which is never locked.
"Anyone ho-.." You stopped, holding the door handle tightly, not closing it. Your eyes couldn't help but to wander off to the man that was sitting on your chair.
You closed the door and walked away from the house.
I'm not dealing with this.
You tapped your foot on grass, crossing your arms and looked at the houses around you, you needed some time to clear your head before going back inside.
What the fuck is he doing here?
You opened your purse, the cigarettes is under all the trash that your had inside your purse. You stopped smoking a while ago, but this time, you needed it.
After putting out the cigarette, you walked back and slammed the door, their eyes were back on you.
"You're not staying here"
Ray nodded, keeping his beautiful eyes on you, looking up and down.
You had to admit it, you looked hot as hell. You didn't look a day over 40, you skin smooth as a baby and body rockin.
"Cesar, go to school" Oscar broke the silence.
"Now!" Both you and Oscar said at the same time. Cesar nodded and got up.
"Do you wanna hang out sometime?" Cesar asked his father with a smile on his face.
"Yeah, mami, you should hang out with us too"
Oscar scoffed, shaking his head.
Cesar has always dreamed of having a normal family, like the ones he saw on TV. The families on TV always had family dinners together, they did everything together. The parents loved each other and had a great relationship with their kids and the siblings would have playful fights that led to a bunch of laughter, hugs and kisses. Not Cesar's family, but he wanted to change that.
You kissed Cesar on his cheek.
"Have a good day at school baby"
You went to sit down on the couch, sighing and massaged your forehead. Licking your bottom lip, putting your arms on your knees and leaned closer to Ray.
"You get to stay here, on one condition" You looked him dead in his eyes and he nodded.
"You don't fucking interfere with our lives, you don't get to live here and fuck everything up and then leave"
You leaned back to the couch, looking at Oscar and he glared at you.
"Ray go and take a shower, I don't know where you've been and I sure as hell don't want you making my house dirty"
You and Ray are the complete opposite. You loved being clean, you taught Oscar and Cesar to do household chores at a young age and to keep them clean and have a good hygiene. Ray doesn't care about keeping a house clean.
Ray got up and went to the bathroom. You heard the water running before speaking with Oscar.
"Oscar.." You looked at your son, who's staring at the chair that his father sat on.
"You accept him living here?" Oscar glared at you, his nose flaring.
"No, I-i don't know, what was I suppose to say?" You held his hand, but he pulled it back and stood up.
"If he fucks up, it's on you"
It felt like someone stabbed you in the heart. You know that Ray's going to fuck up, that's the worst part.
"You're so fucking selfish.." Oscar mumbled and went out to work on his car, slamming the front door behind him.
"The curse has already begun" You sighed. The smell of cigarettes was tempting, but you pushed that feeling down.
You went to the bedroom and changed into something more comfortable and laid down with your laptop to work.
Am I selfish? Yes, Y/n, you are. You didn't even think to ask Oscar if he's okay with this.
You looked up from the screen, your jaw nearly dropped at the sight.
Ray was standing in front of you with a towel wrapped loose around his hips, the water dripping down from his hair to his muscles. He know what he is doing.
"What?" You cleared your throat and looked back at the screen.
Ray came closer and sat on the edge of the bed, you pulled your legs closer to you, not wanting to touch him in any way.
He licks his bottom lip "I know I haven't been in touch for a while and showed up like this, but I want you to know what I always thought about my family, I had a shitty father growing up and-.."
"So, you're basically your father?" You couldn't hold you anger. The man that you've been wanting to scream and let everything go at is right in front of you, yet you did nothing "Just because you had a shitty father doesn't mean that you should be the same" You placed your computer on the bed and got up.
"You fucking left us with no explanation. Oscar tried to reach out for you, writing you letters, why didn't you answer him? Do you know what hell I had to go through alone? Raising two kids alone? Only to have one of them becoming the fucking leader of Santos, risking his life every fucking day. I've felt like shit for years, I finally got over you but like always, you come back and everything turns to a nightmare" You slammed your fist on your palm, trying to make him understand how you felt.
Ray got up from the bed and held your shoulders "I had to leave"
You laughed humorlessly, looking at him in disbelief "That's it? You had to leave? Yeah, I could've left too, but I didn't, because I love my children, my family"
"What do you want me to say?"
"I had to get the job done"
"What fucking job, Ray?" You were tired of this bullshit, just get to the point.
"There was a fucking rat that worked with the cops, he told them everything we did and I got the job done, that's why I left. Everything became too much and I had to leave"
Getting the job done, that means that he killed the rat.
"You killed the guy that was going to rat you out and you were safe, yet you still left us. Not only that, you didn't even think about taking your family with you to leave, you didn't care about what would happen to us" You poked him on his chest.
Ray backed away, removing his hands from your shoulders.
After Ray left the room, closing the door behind him and you picked up your pillow, shoving the pillow on your face and screamed.
After a couple of hours, Cesar came back home. You decided not to go with them to Dwayne's Joint BBQ, which made Cesar upset. It broke your heart to see your sons dreams being crushed. You know that Cesar wants a normal family, he has told you many times when he was younger.
Days passed and you havent spoken to Ray since that conversation in the bedroom, only a few words like 'good morning' 'Bye', other than that, nothing. You don't want to build a relationship with Ray because you know that he can leave the family anytime he wants or feel like it. Oscar felt the same way. Ray tried to talk to his son but Oscar wouldn't let that happen, he pushed him away. Cesar however wants to build up a relationship with his father, you don't blame him. Cesar has never met his father, only heard stories about him.
You washed the dirty dishes in the sink while you hummed.
"I left some money under the mattress"
You stopped what you were doing and turned around.
You saw the bag in his hands. The heavy weight and pain in your chest came back.
Y/n, the knife is right next to you, just do it. Make him hurt just a little bit. Make him feel the pain that you feel everyday.
"I'll say this once again Ray, walk out that door and don't ever come back. I'm not going deal with this again and again. Do you ever think about anyone else except for yourself? You have two sons, you've already fucked up your relationship with Oscar, but Cesar is trying. You're going to break him" This time, you couldn't keep the tears from falling.
You could hear Oscar's heavy footsteps coming downstairs. He glared at his father and scoffed.
Oscar and Ray stormed out of the front door. You watched from the kitchen window and slowly continued to wash the dishes, your sight was blurry from the tears. The window was slightly opened and you could hear their conversation.
The scene in front of you broke your heart. It looked very similar. You could see your little boy running out of the house to stop his father from leaving his family again, crying and screaming, but of course, Ray doesn't care and leaves whenever he wants to.
You didn't want to run out there and mess things up, even though they're already messed up. Oscar was speaking from his heart, all the anger and sadness finally came out and he took those emotions out on the man who caused it.
Oscar walked back inside the house, breathing heavily, his nose flaring and his knuckles white.
You slowly walked up to him and softly grabbed his hand to sit down on the couch, he followed you. You slowly pulled him to you, close to your chest and sung the lullaby that your mother would sing whenever you felt sad. Oscar's tears and sobs was heard in the empty house, he grabbed your hand tightly and hid his face in the crook of your neck.
"I know, it's difficult.."
Oscar's cries didn't stop.
"I love you, mi amor, you and Cesar are the miracles in my life" You kissed him on his cheek. You've forgotten how soft his skin his, how beautiful his eyes and lashes are. Those lashes that you adore so much.
His cries came to a stop after a few minutes, his arms wrapped around your waist, with his head on your chest. You didn't want to let him go, he might be 25, but he's still your baby no matter what.
Oscar felt empty, again. Just like he did all those years ago.
"Let's move out of this shit place"
You looked at Oscar and smiled.
"Where are we going to live?"
"In a house, near the beach. I want to get married, maybe have a kid"
You nodded, feeling a bit better, the fact that Oscar has the same dream that you had at his age felt great.
"Yeah, you and Cesar gets to live there too, I won't let that fucking bastard come back here and fuck shit up again" He looked up at you.
You nodded and cried, your tears fell on to Oscar's face.
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