It’s so mad to think that Tumblr used to be my life, that I used to be on here most hours of the day. I used to talk to so many people on here, but I bet none of you would remember who I am. This is my first post in about 9 months. It’s funny how life moves on... I came to Uni, and all I do now is study biology. But then I paint and draw constantly too, and Redbubble, Instagram and Photoshop have replaced my Tumblr obsession. Maybe obsession is the wrong word, it was more like a safe haven, where I felt comfortable and free. If you’d have told me two years ago I’d be just living life, not hiding, I’d never have believed it. I’ve had my ups and down, definitely, the world’s unfair and odd like that. Horribly unpredictable... I can understand why people hide away here, in the depths of the internet. I think the hardest thing I’ve experienced is love. If any of you have ever wondered {and are still reading this} most men are bastards. Like seriously, some men will fuck you over and it will hurt like fuck, rejection does that to you. But there are a few good guys out there, and if you have the chance, grab one, it’ll be the best thing you ever do, trust me. I didn’t believe in love, didn’t understand how two people could be so dependent on each other, not get bored or annoyed with each other. I didn’t believe in soulmates, and ‘forever’, but one man changed that. I owe him everything, he’s the reason I’m still around to randomly log into my tumblr and type this out. Because I love him, and I couldn’t be without him. I don’t know how I ever survived without him. He’s always in my mind, he’s the last thing I think about as I fall asleep, and he’s my first thought every morning. As soon as he leaves me I miss him immediately, and I already look forward to when I get to see him again in a few days time. It’s been hard at times, because I’m not a very good person, but he is. I’ve disappointed him, made him angry, made him sad. And nothing has ever hurt as badly as when he feels those things because of something I’ve done or said. No physical or mental pain can compare to that. Because he took me in, and accepted me for who and what I am. He knows more about me than anyone else on this planet. I’ve told him things that I could never bare to even whisper to myself before. It still amazes me, even after 9 months together, that he still wants to hold me tight and close, keep me safe and warm, kiss me and love me... and not run away. He stole a piece of my heart, but somehow made me whole again at the same time. I can’t wait to finish Uni and live my life with him, the future doesn’t seem scary anymore with him by my side. I’m trying to get my artwork out there, and he’s supporting me even through that. I don’t know why I’ve just rambled all this out... late night thoughts and all that I guess. It’s just funny to think that I’ve experienced life now, and I understand so much more about the world than I did when I last logged out of this tumblr account 9 months ago... It’s a different perspective. I’ve just looked at my posts from then, just before we got together, and it makes my heart flutter that they’re all about him. I’ve never been happy, and it’s a fucking good feeling.
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