* You are a prisoner.

& THE STARS , THEY'LL GUIDE ME HOME

[undistorta]

my doc here is Old we’re gonna pretend that doesn’t exist

[undistorta]

𝐠𝐨𝐝𝐤𝐢𝐧 :     squish

❝          quit  squishing  my  cheeks     -----     i’m  not  a  baby  y’know .          ❞          [  @godkin  ]

[heriward-deactivated20200418]

what ren sees looking outside his bedroom window after breaking up with goro for the 8th time but goro has a boombox and is playing grenade by bruno mars

[undistorta]

𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 :     i hate you.

ren  has  always  been  a  crybaby .     she’s  too  soft ,     sensitive ,     not  exactly  what  you’d  expect  from  the  infamous  leader  of  the  phantom  thieves .     and  yet ...     he  finds  he  cries  less  lately ,     less  since  he  went  through  god  knows  what  in  that  interrogation  room .          (          his  memory  is  muddled ,     bits  and  pieces  come  back  to  him  and  she  often  forgets  them  again  all  too  soon .     she  wonders  if  it’s  a  blessing ,     but  at  the  same  time  it  scares  her ,     how  something  he  doesn’t  even  remember  can  affect  him  so  deeply .          )          perhaps  she  should  be  happy ,     he’s  always  hated  how  much  he  cries ,     but ...     he  almost  feels  like  she  lost  an  important  part  of  her .     he can’t remember the last time he cried ,  now .

he  doesn’t  cry  now ,     either ,     when  goro  spits  at  her  face  that  he  hates  her .     her  expression  doesn’t  change ,     and  his  gaze  doesn’t  waver ;     after  a  second  he  sighs ,     as  though  the  words  mean  nothing ,     as  though  the  declaration  of  hate  from  a  boy  he  so  stupidly  loves  doesn’t  cut  into  her  chest  like  a  knife .     she won’t cry for him now ,     won’t  give  whatever  satisfaction  it  may  bring .          ❝          i  know .          ❞          hands  are  pushed  into  his  pockets ,     an  indescribable  tight  feeling  building  in  her  chest .     he  won’t  cry .          ❝          i  just  wish  i  could  hate  you ,     too .          ❞          [  @heriward​  ]

[undistorta]

gay people real?

[heriward-deactivated20200418]

@undistort :        ❛ am i just something for you to toy with ? ❜

it’s  funny ,      how  this  whole  situation  has  turned  out .         hilarious ,      really .         goro’s  always  had  a  knack  for  getting  in  over  his  head ,      hasn’t  he ?         always  been  horribly ,      pathetically  selfish .         love  is  a  luxury  that  comes  in  small  doses ,      he’s  come  to  learn ;         best  to  choke  as  much  of  it  as  you  can  in  one  gulp  before  it’s  ripped  away  again ,      like  a  greedy  child  stuffing  his  face  with  cake  before  anyone  else  can  get  a  share .         he  thinks  about  the  few  positive  affirmations  his  father  allowed  him  when  goro  was  under  his  foot ,      the  calculations  of  shido’s  smile  when  he  congratulated  goro  on  a  job  well - done ;         the  buzzing  of  wasps  in  his  abdomen  that  followed ,      where  butterflies  were  meant  to  be .         it  wasn’t  a  slap  on  the  back  or  an         ‘  i  love  you ,      i  want  you  here ,      you’re  needed ,  ’        ——         but  it  was  something .        it  was  something ,          &          goro  swallowed  it  down  as  quickly  as  he  could ,     before  choking  it  back  up  again .         the  validation  of  his  father  meant  nothing ,      after  all .         (     at  least ,      that’s  what  he  told  himself .     )

this  is …          ren  is  different ,      though  goro  can’t  quite  place  why  yet .        he’s  always  been  such  a  horrendous  judge  of  character ,      after  all .         holding  everyone  at  a  distance ,      never  close  enough  to  hurt ,      means  distancing  yourself  from  the  good  people ,      too .         though  the  idea  of  there  being  such  a  thing  is  laughable  at  best        ——         no  one  can  be  truly  said  to  be     ‘ good ’ .         especially  not  goro .

not  ren  amamiya ,      not  anyone .

she’s  staring  at  him  now ,      gray  eyes  narrowed  dangerously         &          mouth  tautened  into  a  thin  line  as  he  speaks .            am  i  just  something  for  you  to  toy  with ?             he  wonders  how  he  didn’t  see  this  coming .         he’s  supposed  to  be  a  detective ,      yet  when  ren  has  finally  had  enough  of  the  games ,      finally  snaps         ——         goro  is  caught  unaware ,     a  figurative  deer  in  the  headlights .       &       here  he  was ,     so  used  to  playing  the  wolf .

the  question  is  entirely  fair ,      which  is  exactly  why  it  makes  goro  cringe .         he’s  always  been  so  selfish .       ren  is  a  sweet - tasting  poison ,      a  thorn  in  goro’s  side  that  he  plucks  out         &         thinks  fondly  of .         he  takes         &         takes         &         takes  from  her ,        over        &        over  again ,        until  he’s  sick  from  his  affection        /        finally  satiated  of  love .        so  selfish .        he  has  every  right  to  be  angry  at  him  for  this ,      a  fact  that  goro  finds  entirely  irritating .        the  sudden  bout  of  self - awareness  is  not  appreciated .

“     stop  talking ,     ”            he  feels  sick .       ren  is  still  staring        &       there’s  no  love  to  be  found  in  his  gaze .        it  makes  goro’s  skin  crawl .

he’s  an  awful  person .       he  already  knew  that,       but  the  reminder  still  stings  a  bit .             (     he  can’t  even  answer  the  question .     )                 “     just …        stop .     ”

[heriward-deactivated20200418]

what ren sees looking outside his bedroom window after breaking up with goro for the 8th time but goro has a boombox and is playing grenade by bruno mars

[fduiduv08448fuhufg-deactivated2]

[undistorta]

people in this rpc got GUTS following me when they say in their rules that they’re okay writing nsfw shit but they’re rping one of the fucking phantom thieves

[undistorta]

AND SAYING YOURE OKAY WITH AGING THE PROTAG UP FOR ADULT CONFIDANT SHIPS ?

[undistorta]

people in this rpc got GUTS following me when they say in their rules that they’re okay writing nsfw shit but they’re rping one of the fucking phantom thieves

[cendrllona-deactivated20210828]

i  revamped  ann  follow  me

[undistorta]

𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳 :

𝚈𝙾𝚄  𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃  𝚃𝙾  𝚂𝙻𝙰𝙼  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙳𝙾𝙾𝚁  𝙾𝙽  𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 .              that  would  be  easier ,      wouldn’t  it ?       —–       than  whatever  it  is  he’s  planning .       for  some  reason ,       whether  it  be  that  you  were  seized  by  a  brief  moment  of  weakness ,       or  pure  loneliness ,       you  don’t       —–       you  exhale  and  open  the  door  wider ,       stepping  aside  to  allow  her  entry .       you  don’t  know  why .

“     i’ll  tell  you  now ;      there’s  nothing  to  get  to  know .     ”              and  for  once ,       it’s  the  truth .       you  are  a  dead  boy  walking ,       your  body  a  morgue .       you  liken  yourself  to  vension ,      the  corpse  of  a  deer  that  has  been  cleaned  of  its  entrails  and  soul  and  anything  else  that  made  it  a  living ,      breathing  thing .      there  is  nothing  inside  of  you .              𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝙶𝙾𝙾𝙳 ,       𝙰𝙽𝚈𝚆𝙰𝚈 .

𝚈𝙾𝚄'𝚁𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙿𝚁𝙸𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚆𝙷𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙴𝚃𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙸𝙽 , half expected him to close the door in your face , tell you to never come back . you step inside quickly , not wanting to give him the chance to change his mind --- his apartment is as lonely as ever , even with the two of you in it . it doesn’t feel like a home . you wonder if he feels the same way about it .

❛     i don’t believe you .     ❜     you set your bag down --- it’s very light without morgana residing in it . he’d wanted to come along , still not very keen on allowing you to be with goro alone after all that’s happened , but you insisted anyways . so now here you are , entirely alone with him for the first time in ... a while . you lean against the wall , looking him over --- you see now , this is the boy you truly fell in love with . he’s the boy you burned into your memory , who you saw when goro let his mask slip and talked about his life / when he told you he would be the one to defeat you / when he called out for loki , serrated sword in hand . he’s the boy you wanted to know months ago .

❛     there is someone to get to know ... he just hasn’t shown his face in years , right ? i’ve already caught a glimpse of him , the goro that sat in the bathhouse with me and talked a little about his childhood , called his father a piece of shit --- not very fitting words for a prince . because that was you .     ❜     you wish you could take his hands in yours , would if you think he’d let you . i already love this you , you want to tell him , don’t you see ? you decide not to push it .     ❛     let me finally get to know the real you better , instead of only seeing it for a couple minutes while you’re monologuing . please ?     ❜

[undistorta]

𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳 :

“     i  don’t  want  your  pity ,       if  that’s  what  you’re  here  for .     ”             there  is  something  inside  of  you ,       rotting ,       rotting ,      rotting  away .      it  speaks  with  the  decay  of  flowers ,       the  withering  of  roses  in  the  vase  that  ren  keeps  in  her  room .        it’s  ugly ,      it’s  grotesque ,      the  stench  of  carrion  in  the  street   &   the  crows  that  swarm  above  and  pick  its  decomposing  flesh  apart .       there  is  something  inside  of  you  that  is  dying       —–       although ,       perhaps  it  has  been  dead  for  a  long  time .             “     frankly ,       i  want  nothing  to  do  with  you .     ”

@undistort· .

❛     i’m not here to give you pity . did it ever occur to you that i might actually still give a shit about you , even after everything ?     ❜     𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳𝚂 𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 , and you feel as though you’re looking at a hollowed out boy , a ghost inhabiting the corpse of the goro akechi you thought you knew . when you spent time together , he claimed he was not the detective prince , but rather himself --- had that just been another mask ? what if this is , too ? you thought ... well , you realize how foolish it is , now --- you thought he trusted you . and when you knew his plan , too . stupid , stupid , stupid . you shake off your self pity , remind yourself that there’s nothing you can do about it ; this is the real goro , so now , you start over . i want nothing to do with you , he says , and you choose to ignore him . too bad .     ❛     i wanted to get to know you . the real you . and don’t bother saying you don’t want me here , i’m very persistent .     ❜

[undistorta]

hmm

[undistorta]

also , i write ren as bigender now . please alternate between she / he pronouns for him .

[undistorta]

hi o_o

[undistorta]

you ever really sad