commander shithead

. Incredible. You know grown-up language. [ a bfm roleplay blog ]

[unemployedasshole]

where's cheren i miss cheren

[hokumhaze1]

YOU’RE A DEAD MAN

[unemployedasshole]

oh, honey bunches!

don't tease me!

[hokumhaze1]

TABITHA JUST RUBBED MILK ON MY FACE AND WISPERED “Simba” 

IM 

IM GUNN A KILL 

[unemployedasshole]

IM FUCKING HILARIOUS

[unemployedasshole]

joltiqueen replied to your post: what the FUCK is a meme

look it up oh my god

i refuse to play your wicked games

[sadisticexecutiveproton-deactiv]

Remember to sip water and eat crackers. Otherwise you’ll just be so sick.

[unemployedasshole]

okay

thank you dad

[unemployedasshole]

magmas-bubblegum-whore replied to your post: i cooked dinner for mack and i and now we’re both...

AHAHAHAA wow Tabs I rhought you could actually cook. How’d you manage to mess up that bad?

well i don't FUCKING know

i was trying to be fancy because mack's my home boy and i owe him a nice meal but i fucked up

[unemployedasshole]

what the FUCK is a meme

[unemployedasshole]

joltiqueen replied to your post: “i cooked dinner for mack and i and now we’re both violently vomiting ...”:

this is what happens when you cook you meme loving fuck

fuck you give me a day to stop hurling and i'll track you down to kick your ass

[unemployedasshole]

i cooked dinner for mack and i and now we’re both violently vomiting

god fucking damn it

[sadisticexecutiveproton-deactiv]

Oh, for the love of God… 

Are you two alright? Do you need anything?

[unemployedasshole]

oh, apparition, i need but time and healing

[unemployedasshole]

HE MISSED THE FUCKING TOILET AND GOT VOMIT ON THE WALL IM BOTH FURIOUS AND DYING WITH LAUGHTER

[unemployedasshole]

i cooked dinner for mack and i and now we're both violently vomiting

god fucking damn it

[calme-and-collected-deactivated]

You’re not supposed to— What?! There’s no way that everyone in Hoenn acts like you. God, I’m never, ever going there. Thank you so very much for ruining a possible vacation. 

[/It was true, not only did Calme never have any fights when he was growing up, he really didn’t have any strength in his body either. The brunette liked to pretend that he was incredibly strong or that he could show off, but it was pretty obvious that it was 110% that it was all talk. This man, though, he has never wanted to beat someone like this. The sarcasm mixed with the rude name did it for him. It wasn’t even like he was instigating him either, he was just talking normally. Before he could stop himself, Calme’s clenched fist was connecting with Tabitha’s jaw and almost automatically he regretted it. The force and anger that he was holding in from their short conversation was definitely behind the punch and the force was there. It was only a lucky once-in-a-life-time hit though. He wouldn’t be able to do it again if his life depended on it.]

S-shit. 

[unemployedasshole]

[ He snorted derisively. ] We could use without you strutting in anyway. You'd get beat up in a second.

[ To Calme's credit, Tabitha hadn't actually expected the younger man to have it in him. He really was all talk, and Tabitha could see that the moment he sat eyes on the trainer, but it really must have been something that Tabitha pissed him off so much the need overwhelmed him. Because by the look in his eyes a microsecond later, Calme hadn't been expecting as much from himself either. ]

[ He'd have the time and the state of mind to brace himself against the hit, jaw clenched as his head was smacked sideways. Calme's fist had pinch a tear into the flesh between his flesh and Tabitha's teeth, and while it was not something very amazing, painful, dangerous, it made something red-hot flare up in Tabitha. Something like retaliation, and something like revenge. But-- he had to remember himself. To beat up Calme would be like beating up an untrained Poochyena; cruel, and unfounded, even if he'd been bit, and even if the little shithead refused to listen. ]

[ A cruel smile overtook his expression nonetheless, however, and Tabitha found himself skirting quickly around Calme's frazzled position to fumble the young man up into a choke hold. It wansn't even very tight, but he thought it got his point across. ]

All that for a few words, mister hero of Kalos? Fucking pathetic. What you pannin' on doin' now?

[unemployedasshole]

passionnedeau replied to your post: “Hey, don't be spreading lies about Hoenn. I hear you, I see you, I smell you, I can even taste you. You taste foul when you lie.”:

You taste sweaty and sexy when you do the thing we both know we're talking about.

furniture shopping is really stressful okay

[unemployedasshole]

Hey, don't be spreading lies about Hoenn. I hear you, I see you, I smell you, I can even taste you. You taste foul when you lie.

wallace i dont want to think about how i taste to you when i am doing various things

[unemployedasshole]

super--fabulous replied to your post: ♥

Just look at how confused you are~! Heeeeeh~!

mostly i'm offended

[calme-and-collected-deactivated]

I’ve been all over Kalos, I’ve met tons of people. Even if it was just passing, they were super polite. Not that you care. But please, tell me this, are all people from Hoenn complete douche bags like you? 

[/He pauses, letting the words the elder male is saying before he realizes that hey, he does flirt a lot. He does try to impress everyone around him. Maybe, though, maybe it was too much. He never thought about it before and usually, when he tried flirting with people back home, they just brushed it off and went on with their lives. They didn’t make a huge commotion about it. His blue eyes burned fiercely and he continued to stare down the purple haired man. The urge was rising quickly and his fists clenched a little bit tighter.] 

You’re supposed to use a different tone when you’re joking, you know. You always sound so intimidating… 

[unemployedasshole]

Honestly? Yeah, unless they have some agenda or public image to maintain.

[ He tensed a little, his eyes trained on Calme's posture and body language. Tabiths knew rowdy children when he saw them, and he knew a boy getting upset enough to do something about it, even if he didn't know how; Calme was by no means a worthy candidate of any sort of fight, and he'd like to prevent the kid from pissing him off so badly that this stupid game ended in one. ]

It's called dry humor, dumbass. To understand it usually requires you look at the context of the conversation and pay attention to what's being said. A foreign concept, I know.

[unemployedasshole]

♥