PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@unicorn-euphoria
Hi Iām back.Ā I might be posting more often again because I feel like this is my space away from the rest of the internet, in a way. Tumblr is kind of a site for the introverts that wanna just do their thing.
Back another time just like 5 years later or something. -2025
you the garden and the grave
Hi Iām back.Ā I might be posting more often again because I feel like this is my space away from the rest of the internet, in a way. Tumblr is kind of a site for the introverts that wanna just do their thing.
iām gonna say what weāre all thinking: those baby monkeys were problematic a.f. for preferring cloth mother over wire mother
they just hate strong women
this
if youāre on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won
screaming into the void for a bit
The last seven years I have been in school to get my Bachelorās and my Masterās degree. This last year of my Masterās program prior to graduation was absolute hell. I was so busy. I was doing 20+ hours a week at my internship (unpaid), plus a full time graduate student, plus a competing powerlifter/training 5 days a week, going through a pandemic, and working a part-time job at a gym. I was so busy. Thatās an understatement. Not to mention we had some life-changing events happen in the family that were both tragic and earth-shattering to the family.
I have had to make a lot of sacrifices in my educational career to get to where I am today. I had to move back home, spend very little if any money at all, scrape together ways to afford the sport I was in, end friendships, etc. I didnāt have a life. I dealt with my own mental health. Part of that period of time I was doing long distance with my now fiance.Ā
What will always never make sense to me is that no matter how many times you tell people that youāre doing all of these things in your life that is progressing you toward your goals- there will always be yourĀ āsupportersā that truly do not have your best interest in mind. There are people that will claim they want to have you around when you serve as a purpose for them. Then when you are taking the time to work on yourself- they fail to respect it because you no longer have time to suit their needs due to being busy.Ā
I have tried so many times to articulate this. It seems as if the people that are more insecure in friendships tend to fail to respect this, or even are willing to take the perspective of myself. Itās so crazy when youāre always there for other people, but when those same people fail to listen and even understand what is going on, they completely disregard the mental health of that same person that would listen to them in the past.
Yes, Iām speaking of a specific situation.
I just needed to get this off my chest. This isnāt an isolated situation, as there have been other people that were more or lessĀ āneedyā, or had the type of expectation for a friendship that teeters on codependency instead of having different lives going in various directions.
Hi guys :)
So I recently opened an etsy shop- itās got stickers of mine. Iād appreciate it if you guys checked it out/critiqued what I have up.
Thanks all :)Ā
https://www.etsy.com/shop/MadisonMandala
nostalgia 03.18.21
I always come on tumblr when I am in need of nostalgia and knowing what it is like to be scrolling a blog site and writing down my inner most feelings.Ā Thereās something settling about the anonymity in a way that the internet has, the way you can go hide in a corner and itās your realĀ āsafe spaceā. Thatās how I feel like tumblr is.Ā
I know that my life is at a different stage at this point, but this website has seen nearly a decade of my life through junior high, high school, college...Ā
Growing up is a trap. I remember I wanted it to come so soon, and sometimes I feel like the freedom isnāt there anymore... youāre required to be an adult...be responsible. Sometimes I just want to fuck around and not have responsibility, is that so bad?
For those of you that follow what is going on in my life... I am very aware that I haven't been on. I do this thing where I leave the website and occassionally come back for a snap of nostalgia and ranting.
My mother has since been in the clear from her breast cancer.
My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer in Oct 2019, three months after my mother finished her radiation. Luckily, we were able to get him the care he needed and we are now in the clear with him as well.
I have been starting my internship and am balancing that...school...relationships...the current political climate.
If you guys don't know (I don't know why you would), but I work in South Minneapolis, MN, only about five minutes away from where George Floyd was killed.
You guys... the peaceful protests, the donating... it was beautiful. It was heartbreaking. The community came together, and divided at the same time. Things have settled in terms of violence and rioting. Kind of. There's still some questionable stuff going on.
There still has been a lot going on in addition to the political climate. The mental health crisis... is unreal. People are seriously struggling. It makes it feel impossible to ever make a dent in the world and who needs help. It's overwhelming. People take sides on matters that aren't really up for debate...or just find something to be mad at because certain things aren't trending anymore. Some people that "support" the movement are just as clueless as the people they're pointing the finger at (disclaimer: this is a generalization- I'm talking about a handful of people I know that want to give a voice to people of color, but still talk their damn heads off, or try to "relate" in ways that are clearly disingenuine and forced). Okay rant over.
July 9, 2019
Good lovely evening,
I am looking back on my posts and realized I havenāt written in the last couple months, so prepare for a detailed lil catch up.
My motherās cancer has been surgically removed, and that happened briefly after my 23rd birthday (a week later). She starts radiation tomorrow, and will do it for three days before she is in the clear. I am so ready for her to be over this, and she most definitely feels the same way. Since all of that, I have taken a summer course for graduate class, and I am so ready to go into internships- the classroom can be completely monotonous. I go to a Christian university, and although I did fully choose to go to this school, some of the people in my cohort are what youād callĀ ātight Christian girlsā (yes, Iām judging). One of the individuals in my cohort stated to the class that they dreaded showing up to class, and had no motivation to be a counselor. It shocks me that she is still allowed in the cohort and hasnāt been kicked out of the program. But I digress, we will see.
For anyone that follows me on Instagram know that Iām competing in powerlifting, and I had Nationals at the end of June. I ended up getting first in my weight class, which is pretty neat. I just canāt wait to come back a better lifter, and I want to try and break some records at a meet in November.
I did meet someone at nationals. Thereās something about this guy that is oddly ānormalā and safe. We will see.
April 14, 2019
Things have been looking up for about six weeks now. I got my depression med changed and it seems to be working well for me, to my surprise. Iām going to be headed to nationals in June and Iām excited with how my training has progressed in these last few weeks. My eating habits have been back to normal for some time now, and I feel a greater control over myself to not go off on a binge or restrict because I feel like being a jackass to myself that day.
I did just find out though that my mom has breast cancer, and even though it is super treatable, it still fucking sucks. So anyone that experienced having a parent with cancer please feel free to reach all the way out. This is something that has thwarted my thinking slightly the past couple days and itās more of a shock than a sadness or depression. Really hard to explain. I keep forgetting it happens and then come to reality and sometimes get the shock all over again. It also sucks because itās constantly the topic of conversation right now, and is constantly in my environment. I do have a large support group that is willing to be there for my family which makes me just endlessly grateful.
when the partyās over
How to Deal With Suicidal Thoughts #BellLetsTalkĀ
Thank you to everyone who supported us and made this video possible!Ā
Signal boost!!!
signal boost
The world needs YOU
And thatās not the only thing that comes from these guys they have load and loads of helpful things to help you through almost anything !
me at the club: i cant dance. i dont dance.
me 5 drinks later, absolutely hammered:
If seen this posts a few places, I thought it needed to be here too! Volume on!
I feel like this show broke a lot of barriers
What's wrong with the tar baby story? I grew up hearing it as a folktale. In my country we have all sorts of stories with brer'rabbit but we call them B'bookie and B'rabbie and I always remember the tar baby story as being a favourite of a lot of people.
There are just a lot of racist undertones to the story that we have spoken about in school when you go into analyzing the literature.
