❝ℍ𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕡𝕚𝕝𝕝 @unicornpoopy-blog - Tumblr Blog

*makes and joke but nobody laughs* fuck u guys i’m funny as fuck

#self appreciation #idk #i thought it was funny #you not laughing?#imma make you laugh #lol bitch #jk #maybe #funny #as #fuck #i am hilarious #i am funny #i am a comedic genius #i belong on stage #take me to my people

Alien looking at 2016 american presidential election results: what the fuck

other alien: what the fuck

alpha alien: what the fuck

Abraham Lincoln: what the fuck

#aliens #presidential election #presidential debate #politics #hillary clinton #donald trump #alien #what the fuck #abraham lincoln #funny #funny politics

You: guess who did it

Someone: omg who

Me: *bursts through your wall* IT’S JOHN CENA

#meme #john cena #IT'S JOHN CENA #DA DA DA DAAAAA #DA DA DA DA #john cena meme

Friend: *knock knock*

Me: who’s there

Friend: it’s me

Me: me who?

Friend: oh my god

Me:

Friend:

Me:

Friend:

Me:

Friend:

Me: okay but me who

#knock knock jokes #okay #but who's there #i need to know #how do you expect this friendship to go on stacey when you can't tell me me who #me who #irl jokes #knock knock jokes irl #irl knock knock jokes #the more you know

pricey tags empty carts buying crappy chocolate bars

#troye sivan #troye #sivan #happy little pill #happy #little #pill #misheard lyrics

guys what if hell and heaven doesn’t exist and we all just get turned into marshmallows after we die

#science side of tumblr #any side of tumblr #i need answers #please #what do i do if i get turned into a marshmallow #funny #3am thoughts #it's 3am #2am thoughts #thoughts #explain #call ghostbusters

girlforce-deactivated20160106

me, never intending to come back: brb

fruitnowcan

howyougetthefangirl-deactivated

I walked to a deli and got a sandwich to go and a coffee and while I was waiting these two teenage girls ran up and were like OH MY GOD JESSICA HOW ARE YOU and then hugged me and the one whispered “that guy was following you and taking pictures of you” and then they walked home with me and that one guy stopped following me and hONESTLY THIS IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR

poptartswiftie-deactivated20150

This is so kind of them

Alien: yo, what’s a gif?

Other alien: you know those talking and moving pictures that we had back in 1000?

myulteriormotive-deactivated201

Tyler and Beaker, best friends forever

Me: my back hurts

Someone: my back hurts more

Me: nuh uh, mine hurts more

Someone: nope, mine does

Me: *bends back in an inhuman fashion*

#back breaks #help #i've fallen and i can't get up #life alert #i am one with the trash

reallyabitch

i feel ugliest when my nails are really short

basically-fabulous

Guys we need to stop saying Ted Cruz was the Zodiac Killer. He was born in 1970, when the killer was active in 1968-69. Clearly he’s the SON of the Zodiac Killer, all grown up and ready to follow in the footsteps of his elder.

rockymackenzie

hear me out. there is MORE THAN ONE,

mindfulwrath

turning into a baby is the perfect alibi

unicornpoopy-blog

He used The Pacifier from Sky High

sumflora

*thinks about space* what the fuck? is this allowed? what the fuck? is that allowed?

filthyhetero2

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❝ℍ𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕪 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕡𝕚𝕝𝕝