unidentifiedgothamite

just a gothamite livin' life

[unidentifiedgothamite]

dick: little wing, i think you came back wrong

jason: the hell are you on about, dickie?

dick, standing on his tippy toes and gesturing towards jason's head: you came back taller than me!

jason, baffled: you think just 'cause i'm taller, there must be something wrong with me?

dick, pouting: it hurts my pride as the oldest, okay?!

[unidentifiedgothamite]

duke: who do you guys think is bruce's favorite child?

jason: it's probably fingerstripes

dick: me?! it's obviously you, jay

tim: it's jason

steph: facts. b lets him get away with everything, including murder

cass: jason

damian: as much as i loathe to admit it, father does treat todd differently

jason: ya'll are trippin'

meanwhile...

clark: b, just curious, but, do you have a favorite child?

bruce: hn, what date is it?

clark: um, may 12th?

bruce: then it's batcow

clark: what

bruce: did i stutter?

[unidentifiedgothamite]

the batboys chillin' on WE's roof after patrol

jason, bored & horny: oi goldie, bet ya 10 bucks you can't do 10 consecutive backflips across the roof

dick, never backs down from a challenge: ha! prepare to be 10 bucks lighter, jay

damian, sweet summer child: what are you doing? we all know grayson can do that

tim, just wants to go home: he just wants to ogle at dick's assets clearly

[unidentifiedgothamite]

dick: what are you guys doing?

tim, frozen in surprise, as damian struggled against his bonds, apples scattered around them: uh... it's not what it looks like

steph, oblivious: i got it! he's 11 apples tall

jason, a little shit: damn, we were one off. i thought it'd be 10

[unidentifiedgothamite]

damian: i hate you with every inch of my being, drake.

tim: *slurps coffee

tim: well that's not a lot of inches.

damian: *demonic screeching noises

[unidentifiedgothamite]

someone please come and take red robin away. he broke in through my balcony and is currently demolishing my coffee stash and i need it to study for my test tomorrow. pls help

p.s. bring more coffee

[unidentifiedgothamite]

thank you to the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs that became fossils that was used to create the fuel that helped run the ambulance that brought red hood's mom to the hospital to give birth to the man with the most glorious thighs in this universe.

(he can crush me between his thighs like a damn watermelon and i'll thank him)

[unidentifiedgothamite]

for the record, i have been awake for three days straight (uni is kicking my ass) and am currently running on red bulls and coffee, but im pretty sure that i just saw red hood (yes, the red hood), picking robin up by his cape, and the kid just, hissed, yknow, like a feral cat, before he went limp.

and huh, the stabby robin has a power off button. who wouldve thought?

[unidentifiedgothamite]

"Gotham's a shithole, but she's our shithole."

- gothamites