*✩⁺˚(₀◕‿◕₀)づ*✩⁺˚ @unifinity - Tumblr Blog

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When you hear the cliche of, "You're your own worst enemy," the same exact thing can be said about, "You're your own best friend." And it's completely true, whether you choose to deny it or not. Not matter how "best" of a friend you think you have in life, they're never going to know what's affecting you more than yourself. And in the long run, only you are going to understand and realize the decisions you got yourself into. For the record, what exactly are the defining characteristics of a "best friend?" Because as far as I'm concerned, I've never actually had one of these according to the dictionary. I've claimed to have quite a few, but then again, we always like to gloat about more than we own don't we? It actually happens to be that the term "best friend" doesn't exist in the dictionary! But I wouldn't go so far as to be frivolous on those terms and assume that the ends justify the means. Because we all know that is a load of shit.

my life choices.

I wish, just for once, that I could hoist myself into the water: chained to an immovable weight, and simply being dragged into the nothingness of the deep. I wish I could see the light vanish from my sight as the cold gripping hands of the ocean depths pulled me deeper still. I wish I could feel the weight of the world continue to crush my lungs; my last breath of survival dissipating away as the bubbles float away to the surface. I wish I could experience the feeling of lifelessness, that indispensable emotion of non-life. Something that could never truly happen in my life-time, but something that has only tempted my palate for so many years of existence. And in that moment of motionless being, as the very fate of my life was to disappear forever into the past, someone saves me. Someone from the great above comes to relinquish me of my duties, to save me of my obligations. I wish that someone would sacrifice all they had to show me that there was always more than just living for yourself...

And yet maybe the answer to my salvation has been staring me in the face for as long as I could possible imagine. Maybe the saviors have always been right where I needed them; I just never had the mind-sight to notice they were always around just in case things went wrong. Even though I know my mind can tend to be, at some points in time, unreasonable; I should always remind myself that the ideas that float around my mind are not the truths of the world nor do they have to become the words of my mouth of the actions of my fist.

Okay, this is going to become a draft now because I'm an emotionally-mentally-altogether fucked up individual. #loveme.

I want to go on a musical inspiration writing spree. First, I just have to find some music that I'm like "in-the-mood" to listen to. Most of the time it's really not that difficult, because I'm usually in a perfect mood for the perfect kind of music; although today just isn't one of those days. Which is kind of shit because this is one of the only times that I really want to really write a lot about just whatever the fuck I want to write about.

Come on Florence & The Machine; strike some genuine inspiration so I can be off with this irresistible urge of writers angst. I was just thinking about how much I don't really like to talk to other people about just completely random shit; and how in effect I just end up talking to myself about it. In all honestly, I've probably spoken to myself about as much or even more than I have to other human beings. Shamelessly I can say, I can live with those facts. Majority of people do very little for me to begin with, let alone should I try to invest myself in producing any sort of meaningful conversations in which I would receive knowledge/insight/wisdom greater that what I would contribute. Because for the most part, an outcome such as that is indefinitely rare or just infinitely impossible. Do I think I'm weird for talking to myself? I don't know, do you think it's weird that you'll never meet me in real but you're learning more about me than most of the people I see on a daily basis?

Do you ever get those feelings in which you have this insurmountable level of energy and motivation; enough to the point that you feel like you have the power to do anything? Where challenges of the world, that which would have sized to towering tsunamis, have now seemed to shrink to an almost inconceivable speck of nothingness? That feeling of powering authority, a moment in time where you seem to feel almost king/queen-like in your towering reign. I guess it also kind of branches off of that quality of unique control. That ability to do what you will with all the greatness that you contain.

I can't say I was one of the many millions of movie-goers who was all around ecstatic to go out and see the new Dark Knight movie; but because I can't seem to ignore a good movie when I see one, I ended up going to see it anyways, despite being so reluctant. And I can't help but say, it was by far one of the most emotionally engaging and symbolically gratifying films I've seen in a while. I'm usually not one to become entirely enthralled in movies simply because I never seem to get that sucked-in by the plot, story, or what have you.

But there was definitely some friction that ignited sparks when I went out to go see this movie. And it wasn't even the movie itself in most cases. Granted, it was a beautifully directed film, certainly top-class acting and the like, but I couldn't help but feel that there was a much greater substance that was pulling me through the film... Perhaps it's almost as if this film was the first time I ever made the real-life connection between film-making and reality. Because of the nature of the film, coupled with the past events that have recently taken place, there's a large grey area now present in the dimension of fact and fiction, of dreams and reality. It's become an almost real-life situation. And in most all cases, I don't even know if I find it scary to be honest, I somewhat find it invigorating.

The world where people come to get away from their world no longer exists. The simple fact that such an event took place has ultimately shattered the time sequence for many years to come. It's such a subtle yet tantalizingly real sort of emotion that's risen from the ashes of this all. It's the symbol that represents the idea, not the application that was actually executed that truly matters.

is it really just all for nothing?

I've felt that for so long my life has just been this completely artificial existence. It's almost as if everything that I've ever experienced in my life has just been so distant and so disconnected from all the other parts in the series. I'm not really sure what I'm even asking for, but I guess I just wish that for once in my life I had something that felt real.

The thing about anything else in life, essentially anything you try to achieve; is a goal. Everything is first an idea, then placed into execution, then with proper planning and determination, it finally becomes a completed goal. I just feel like for the longest time all of these goals in my life have been all for nothing. And all the goals that I will continue to do in life will remain seemingly pointless without any true subsistence or meaning. It's not that I feel depressed or hopeless... I just feel like how much longer will I have to go through with the kind of life that I'm living until I finally reach a point where everything finally comes to life before my eyes? It's been such a "lifeless" existence at some points, and it's become harder and harder to understand the reason of pushing on when there will never be a worth while goal for me in the end.

I just want compensation for all the hard work that I've accomplished throughout my life. I want to see something in my life that's more than anything I've ever experienced. I know that's a bit too much to ask for, but I still like to believe like I have the power to dream.

You have to stick to one of two viable choices that are present in front of you right now. You either take what dignity you still contain, and with all the power of your solitude, you run to the mountains and leave this shit-hole of a life behind you; never once turning back to see all the painful memories and suffering agony that remains; or you take a stand in the world around you, take your guard for your shitty life, and fight for what you believe in; trying to live out the rest of your existence to the best of your ability.

Whenever people ask me about my tattoo, it’s always so hard to describe it in just a few words, or even a few sentences. There’s so much hidden meaning and emotion behind what each part of the tattoo means to me alone; and then even more meaning when they are together as one.

But I figure since I’ve never really divulged into the meaning of my tattoo in-depth, what better time for that than right now?

So true, I may have decided to get both the arrow and double infinity at the same time, but each of them have individual meaning when they're not thought of as together.

The reason as to why I got this tattoo was about a year ago; during that time I was struggling with some major depression in my life and generally all around me (I’m still struggling now, but my tattoo is a constant reminder to keep going). So I needed something in my life that would act as a sign, something that would help/guide me to get out of whatever deep rut of depression I was going through at the time.

And when I stumbled across the tattoo design one day, I made an immediate connection; I knew for sure that was what I wanted my sign to be. It spoke to me on such an intangible level of communication that there was no way I could reply without doing what I did next, getting it as a tattoo. Everyone in life is going through some sort of struggle; they're always searching for some fundamental meaning in life that will keep them going till they can't go anymore, and I think in some aspects that's what tattoos mean to people, just like my tattoo means to me. It's a mark, it's a scar, it's a reminder. It's a monument of life that reminds me what I've been through, and what I'm capable of accomplishing from here on out.

The significance of the arrow is in most views what the arrows signifies in life; it's a symbol of precision, it signifies accuracy and aiming for targets. It reminds me to keep aiming for my goal, and if I miss; next time I'll aim higher. It tells the story of perseverance and persistence. (Because sure, you can fire a bullet at a target, but if you have one bullet and you miss, that's it. You're done. But with an arrow, you're chances of hitting that target are infinite. If you miss, you can retrieve it and start all over again. An unlimited supply of second chances). It