Shout-out to all the people who liked and commented on my last post. Glad to know that Squeak hasn’t been forgotten. =)
winterstraystar said: For Sonic: Thank you for still looking out for his blog, it means a lot. For Squeak: Hope you are going better wherever life has taken you. I hope you live with no regrets
You’re welcome. I should mention that I’ve done a little writing, and one of my stories is about Squeak. Here it is: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/528407/thanks-for-the-memories
I can’t believe how long it took me to get a fimfiction account. It says something about all the trauma I’ve been through.
There were a lot of us in the Box with mental health struggles of one sort or another. It was really valuable to have that space to talk, and also create! It reminds me of that one Subnormality comic...
pinkusponkus said: Squeak did so much for so many people. I miss him!
Thank you! We miss him too!
kasamari said: I miss the care and love of the whole team you guys put together. I will keep following this and Squeak’s other spaces in the hopes that I get the chance to tell Squeak that the soldier who left his pregnant wife for training all those years ago is now a proud father of 4, still married to the same amazing woman. I will always be so grateful for the story of Good Night and for the wonderful Ponies in a Box that worked to share so many stories.
CONGRATULATIONS! Hip Hip Hurray! I hope we can all be so fortunate. =)
You didn’t ask for advice, but I’m gonna provide some anyway. My favorite parenting book is Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Also, conventional school sucks and kids would be much better off at Sudbury Schools: https://www.facebook.com/HudsonValleySudburySchool/videos/10155951019968804/ (The teachers are better off too!)
Anyway, give your kids a hug from us. And maybe show them an old PIAB video or two =)
And hopefully, hopefully someday you’ll be able to tell Squeak the news directly. I’m sure he’d be happy for you. =)
warbalist said: I miss writing music for his stuff. 😭
Oh wow, you wrote music for him? (Sorry, I don’t recognize the username!) What did you write?
I miss working with him too. I miss the sheer sense of possibility we had in 2012, in the brony fandom generally and especially with Pony in a Box. I still remember how I was on vacation and Squeak came up with the idea for The Best and within 12 hours it was fully written, recorded and posted on Youtube. Or how about that time the other boxers and me secretly made a short for Squeak’s birthday?
I miss hearing our stuff premiere on Celestia Radio. I miss reading the comments as they came in. I miss the little ARG we did for Wrong Way Backwards. I miss the feeling that anything was possible.
I’m really sad that I didn’t go to BronyCon 2013. A lot of PIAB people were there, and in retrospect that was the best opportunity I ever had to see the boxers in person. But my mom had cancer and I had anxiety mixed with self-hatred and the flight seemed too much of a risk and it didn’t seem fair to mom so in the end I didn’t go. =(
I miss my box friends. Too many of us had IRL problems at the same time, and we gradually scattered to the winds. We’ve still got a discord server but it rarely gets any activity. It’s so sad. =(
Special shout-out to Togpie, who was a vital support to me during some extremely difficult times in my life. I think maybe she burnt out, caring for me all the time. If so, I don’t blame her. She worked really hard to help me when she was already busy with her own problems. I haven’t heard from her in over a year now. I hope she’s ok...
It’s strange how Life is so much grander and deeper than it seems. Do you know what I mean? There is so much meaning and passion and joy and opportunities taken and opportunities missed just in this one little group of people. There are so many things that shaped us, so many traumas that the Box helped us face, and then the Box itself drifted away because we still hadn’t found perfect solutions to Life’s problems.
And here I am, posting this little thing that a handful of people will see. How will it impact you? What’s your story?
A good life is possible, I’m sure. The solutions involve things like Children’s Rights and Sudbury Schools and Democracy and Universal Basic Income. The solutions involve things like ponies and fandoms and community for its own sake. The solutions involve knowing that you matter and your feelings matter, and it’s ok to cry when you’re hurt and it’s ok to get mad at abusive people and systems.
I think of the billionaires of the world and I wonder why they don’t just feed the poor. I’ve had a lot of friends who deserve money, good people tied down by bad circumstances. I’ve given a few thousand myself, trying to figure out how much I can afford considering I still can’t manage a full-time job (on account of my mental health). And I wonder why anyone thinks Elon Musk is a good person, seeing that he has so much money but he refuses to help people.
I think back to a time when guys openly liking ponies would have been impossible, when this fandom would have been impossible, where the formation of Pony in a Box would have been impossible. I wonder how many wonderful memories past generations never got to experience because of their stupid rules, and I’m glad for the progress we’ve made and the hope of more progress to come, and I’m also very sad that more progress hasn’t happened already.
Every so often I google anti-aging medicine (which is a legit field now) because I want to make up for all the time I’ve lost to trauma and abuse.
In the meantime, though, I’m glad we had Pony in a Box. And I’m glad that the fandom still exists. And I hope that the choices I make today will help future generations. Maybe new opportunities will come our way, like the TARDIS fading in from the Vortex.
Onwards and Upwards
--Sonicsuns
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