reblog if youre sick of gender roles and want to be abducted by aliens
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@unknownalamir
reblog if youre sick of gender roles and want to be abducted by aliens
If a ghost can open cupboards and break things, why not just take a pencil, find paper, write exactly why it’s unhappy, and tape the message on the fridge.
It just became second nature to close all the cupboards first thing in the morning (even though they’d been closed the night before). Which was when things escalated from banging cupboard doors to actually breaking things.
Faucets, door handles, curtain rods ripped from the wall… all the repairs started to add up.
“Look, I didn’t mind having an ethereal roommate, but I can’t afford to keep fixing all this shit. Here’s a pencil and some paper. Just write what’s bothering you–I doubt you could put anything that would be more expensive than having a plumber come out to replace all the faucets again.”
The next morning there’s a scrawl line at the top of the page that devolved into an angry scribbling mess that tore through the page. Two cupboard doors were entirely ripped off.
“I don’t want to get someone in to banish you, but this is ridiculous. Just tell me what you want.”
The second piece of paper is ripped into shreds and several knives are embedded in the wall.
A careful examination of the paper scraps show that it had the same scribbles as the first piece.
A quick trip to the library and a stop at a store later, there are kindergarten workbooks on learning to write spread across the counter.
“Look, I don’t know if you’re just being difficult, but I hope not. So I got an audiobook on learning to read and write, and here are some workbooks for kids–don’t get mad–to teach them their letters. Just press play on the stereo, and work through the books at your own pace. I’ll get more when you finish.”
The first workbook is half-completed before being ripped to pieces, but at least there was no other damage. Replacing it is significantly cheaper than replacing cupboard doors.
It takes awhile, but eventually the workbooks progress to a fifth grade level. These ones are starting to be more costly (they’re bigger, for one thing), but it’s not even the money anymore. Little notes scrawled in a shaky hand appear on the steamy bathroom mirror
Have A gooD dy
Or written in ketchup on the counter (that was a frightening sight the first time)
You R out of MLK
And then one day there’s a message taped to the fridge. The spelling and penmanship isn’t the best, but it’s legible and even signed.
Dear Occupente,
I have haunted this spot for ovr three huner hudre 300 years. My bones are dust and I am fergotN. I do not have wants to trap me. I am here 4 ever.
I am bord. Lonly.
I am sorrY 4 breaking things.
We be frends?
Syncerly Eloise
I love you, Eloise
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Okay but I’ve been watching Clone Wars and it’s just - I’d forgotten how canon it is that Obi-Wan is pretty much catnip/bait for every Sith, Dark Acolyte or Darksider in the galaxy. Now I want a Sithnip Obi-Wan AU where the Jedi win the war fast and easy because he just - flirts the Darksiders into submission? Like, he’s picked up Qui-Gon’s ‘bringing home strays’ tendancy but he’s bringing home repentant Dark Force users and by the end of it he has a squad of really badass bodyguards and facepalms even more than before because they have terrible manners (except Dooku).
I’m imagining this happening with not only Dooku, Grievous, Ventress and the entire nightsister clan, Maul and Savage - but also the Son of Mortis. Cause, I mean, he’s the anthropomorphic personification of the sith/the dark side, of course he’s going to take one look at Obi-Wan and be all *hearteyes* and follow him home - Anakin is so upset by all these darksider taking up his masters time and energy - even the chancellor keeps asking after him and trying to get him to come in for a meeting, Anakin never gets to spend any time with Obi-Wan anymore! *pouts*
Okay but I’ve been watching Clone Wars and it’s just - I’d forgotten how canon it is that Obi-Wan is pretty much catnip/bait for every Sith, Dark Acolyte or Darksider in the galaxy. Now I want a Sithnip Obi-Wan AU where the Jedi win the war fast and easy because he just - flirts the Darksiders into submission? Like, he’s picked up Qui-Gon’s ‘bringing home strays’ tendancy but he’s bringing home repentant Dark Force users and by the end of it he has a squad of really badass bodyguards and facepalms even more than before because they have terrible manners (except Dooku).
I NEED IT
It starts with Ventress. He doesn’t really mean it, when he calls her “honey”, not really. It still gives her pause and in that moment he knows that no one has had a nice word for her in as long as she can remember. Not that his count. He’s just messing with her. Sort of. But when someone else attacks him, she does the whole “only I can kill him spiel” and protects him. He is suitably grateful. She snarls and insults him.
With Savage, he really wasn’t trying. They are trying to kill each other, they really are. He just gives the dathomiri a very brief appreciative once over once, it was just a look. He’s been only fighting droids for so long, he can be forgiven for looking. When he gets back to base he is covered in scratches, not a single one fatal.
Maul looks for him. Obi-Wan lets himself be found.
By the time he meets Dooku again, he doesn’t even draw his lightsaber and offers him tea, “I have a special blend shipped in especially from Alderaan, a friend of mine gets it for me and I thought you might appreciate.” They do not fight that day. But the next time Grievous attacks, Obi-Wan’s fleet is already a few systems over, tipped off by an anonymous source.
In a room in Coruscant, the dark lord of the Sith feels the balance shift.
@wrennette
The hermits seem to always change so much from season to season, different powers, different levels of humanity - how do they end up so different? Each season acts as a blank slate, and hermits are reset to something human (or human adjacent), before they all begin their slow shift into Something Else
I've been thinking something similar for a while! This is a really cool idea, and it raises one interesting question in particular: what decides which changes stay and which ones go? Why did the influence of the Vex follow Cub and Scar from season 5 to 6, but not beyond? Why did Ren's ears - and his more dramatic changes - not fade at the start of season 8? Maybe it has something to do with emotional impact, how much a Hermit is dwelling on something, whether positively or negatively....
- Mod Shade
This is kinda cursed? Feel free to ignore if it's too cursed. CW for mild body horror and eating gross stuff
Like Endermen, as voidlings it's hardwired into X and EX's brains to attack and kill endermites. The differences is they will eat the endermites as well. On more than a few occasions someone teleported with an enderpearl around Xisuma and turned around to find him crouched on the ground, helmet off, and jaw unhinged as he stuffs an endermite into his mouth and swallows it whole.
They could kill the endermites with magic to eat them but they choose not too. As soon as they see one their brains go "RIP ATTACK BITE MAIM KILL EAT EAT EAT EAT" there is no time to think about using magic or even just killing it normally.
Oh my goodness, now THERE'S a mental image.... The idea of a random Hermit in mid-conversation with X using an enderpearl and just continuing to talk, noticing that X isn't responding anymore, and turning around to find him crouched down with an endermite half sticking out of his mouth and the guilty expression of a dog chewing on something it shouldn't... That's a hilarious instinct to have, I love it!
- Mod Shade
Hermits are usually drawn with bird wings, so what if hels hermits have bug wings? And sometimes a hermit's instinct take over and just *chomp* on a hels hermit's arm. Imagine the possibility :D
Yessss, this is so good! Mosquito Hels Grian, anyone?
- Mod Shade
White shirt with a white scarf. He’s deathly pale. He seems innocent.
Then you feel the rows of teeth latch on.
You wake up an hour later, feeling very ill. Hels Grian, on the other hand, seems more alive.
My hand slipped.
Woah, I love it! Very unsettling!
- Mod Shade
DocM77 is a creeper, which is a messed up version of a pig. This means that his alternate self (Hels, one could say) is a pig. Just a random pig somewhere with mysterious powers that can’t be bothered to act on them. That’s it. That’s all I have to say.
The no crossover rule is causing me physical pain right now....
That is an extremely good thought, though. Just a completely normal seeming pig, with so much it could be doing and nothing that it is doing...in a way that is the perfect foil to Doc! Doc, a person who always attempts feats of extreme power just slightly over his own ability to comprehend, and that pig, a creature with the world at its feet who does nothing...poetic.
- Mod Shade
Tango cant swear. Like he’s physically incapable of it. The only thing that comes out is wacky cartoon noises.
Oh, that is hilarious and SO frustrating for him...I can perfectly picture an absolutely red-faced Tango waving his arms around at some misbehaving redstone while cartoon spring noises, clattering, and assorted musical instrument sounds just radiate from the area...Bdubs and Keralis are absolutely hiding behind something and laughing at him, that's hilarious
- Mod Shade
Wels puts cell phone charms on his swords
Oh he DOES, he absolutely does. What do you think some of the shapes are?
- Mod Shade
Horrifying! Thank you, Cleo
My money’s on the huge gash in her side. It, mouthlike, you can put food in it, you can actually see it on her skin, and honestly I think it’d be hilarious if that’s where her voice came from.
@hermitcraftheadcanons This sounds like something from your blog.
I claim no legal responsibility, @badhermitcraftheadcanons come pick up your child
- Mod Shade
Pearl the Cat and Pearlescent Moon are besties.
Grian is occasionally jealous that his cat likes sunbathing on Pearl's roof more than his own.
(I've decided all mcyt cats exist in game and Jellie is the mishief ringleader)
-benny
Aww! Pearl (Hermit) uses one of her upside-down nametags on Pearl (cat) so they can get more sun on their belly on the roof...she always fixes the name after, but that's the reason why Pearl is the new favorite cat visit hotspot :D
- Mod Shade
Redstone is magical in nature and admin “magic” is inherently more technological
Redstone interacts with plants (dripleaf) and is believed to be used for iron golem crafting. it is a ancient runic magic displayed from it’s use in jungle temples too.
Admins on the other hand, use long confusing commands to modify the world. it is different from the magic which is more easily taught. being seen as wild ones and zeros and infinitely more confusing.
what im saying is- Grumbot is a magical golem. The redstoner are actually wizards and Xisuma is the equivalent of IT running on tea and sleep deprivation.
Oh, this is an interesting take! So for all of season 7, Mumbo and Grian were more wizard than even Scar... Meanwhile, the things that X does probably only look like magic from the outside. They certainly don't feel like magic when he's trying to remember the right command out of all the ones he's had to memorize....
- Mod Shade
GeminiTay is a nature spirit; a being of pure life. Well, Hels certainly couldn't have someone like that living there? Thus, SagitarriusBasal. I'd say she's a grim reaper, but that wouldn't be accurate. She's more of a... immortal death spirit, taking any life she sees fit in ending. Whether in Hels, or the Overworld. Plus, as someone who already looks dead, she gets to enjoy the glorious, bloody, chase.
She lives in an overgrown soul sand valley, surrounded by the twisting manifestations of spirits in the form of morphing, clinging vines. The vines don't stick to her, because she does not will it, but they'll make any intruder's path all the more difficult. And besides...why would anyone want to venture to that place? Unlike Gem's parkour, there is no prize of plants at the end. No - if you struggle through Sagi's domain, your reward will be the exact same as your punishment for losing.
Death. Plain, simple, and inevitable. The root of all life, and the soil to which it will return.
- Mod Shade
Grian has a couple bird-like habits: mostly whistling and humming to himself whilst building, and at birds around, as well as bundling up his blankets into a nest like shape when he sleeps. He also ruffles up his feathers when he’s seriously annoyed
Imagine being yelled at by just this short ball of red sweater and wing floof... he gets so puffed up he's almost a sphere... that's the real reason why Grian seems to be in the center of every server war. People just can't help laughing at him, which only makes him puff up more!
- Mod Shade
POV: you made him angery
Floofy!
- Mod Shade
ren distracting tactic from docm77: if you throw something around ren, he will run to retrieve it.
doc distracting tactic from ren diggity dog: most people try to catch things you throw at them if you throw them hard enough :)))))
(ren and doc distracting tactic: whatever THIS fight ended up being.)
The final move: Ren decides to throw himself, and they both just topple into a clattering cursing heap of robotic limbs and tattered clothing. Who won? Unclear. Who lost? Probably both of them. But hey, it was fun, and at least they get a free hug now!
- Mod Shade