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@bellringsamidentropy
channeling mumbo-jumbo
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BODYARMOR Strawberry Banana 28oz Beverage Review
Purchased at my local gas station in a 2 for 5 sale with the Strawberry Grape one. Truth be told, I am a little apprehensive about the fact that this supposedly has a partial banana flavor. Not because I dislike bananas or even artificial banana flavoring (in fact, they're both some of my favorites in their respective categories), but because it's a kind of creamy flavor in a watery beverage. I hope I am pleasantly surprised!
Cap Strength: Felt like it was gorilla glued shut. No clue why, none of the other bottles were this hard to open. This won't factor into my actual thoughts, but I needed to note it for posterity.
Color: Pale pink, red pink not purple pink. Has an almost peachy orange undertone as well. I suppose that is what happens when you combine pale yellow and reddish pink, so the color checks out. I like it, though it's about what you'd expect. Feels like it should be yellower for more banana representation, like how some strawberry banana smoothies are usually a distinct light pink peach color. Objectively correct, but to my personal tastes it's a bit disappointing.
Description of Flavor: Described on the packaging as "Strawberry Banana Flavor with other Natural Flavors", which is par for the course as these seem to go. The picture on the bottle is, expectedly, a whole strawberry and a slice of banana, which pisses me off a little bit. Why is the strawberry pictured whole and the banana is a single, peel-less slice? They should match, and be a whole banana or a halved and de-leafed strawberry. I don't want to drink strawberry stem! The ingredients table also has a near identical description of flavor, so we'll move on to what really matters.
Flavor: It has a pleasing aroma, which I include here as it seems to be increasingly common knowledge that smell greatly impacts flavor. Very artificial candy, but the good kind. As for the literal taste, it is mostly strawberry with an aftertaste of the typical grainy banana flavor. Both flavors are good. Indeed artificial, sure, but still pleasant to consume. In contrast to strawberry grape, which was a perfect 50/50 split, straw-nana has a powerful strawberry start with a weaker, yet clearly present banana to finish, and it does linger for a bit. This is definitely a strawberry first beverage, which is probably the for the best, but does lead to a bit of sadness at the absence of an equal banana flavoring. However, I do actually really appreciate how the flavor changes over time. Unlike strawberry grape, where it's the same sip in every moment, the flavor of straw-nana changes over time, and I can actually pick out the banana more as I continue to drink it. It provides less of a first impression, but it has increasing returns. I actually really like it, and am, in fact, pleasantly surprised in the end!
Do I prefer Strawberry Grape or Strawberry Banana?: Strawberry Banana will not be for everyone. It has enough of an artificial banana flavor to put some off in the first place, but not enough to make it a "novelty" purchase like Tropical Passionfruit either. If you're going for consistency and expected value, Strawberry Grape is the clear winner for being an above-average blend of two enjoyable flavors. That all being said. I am a freak. I love banana, especially artificial. I like how the flavor changes per sip and over time. I can hear it speaking to me. This is a beverage for people like me. I am sorry for doubting you. I prefer Strawberry Banana.
Overall Impression: number of times banana was spelled incorrectly and then I had to go and fix the amount of n's or a's or both = probably over 20
for tonight's main I'm pairing warm beer and leftovers I stole from work but now it's not even situationally funny to me anymore because that actually happened yesterday I just forgot to post it on tumblr
Once you've danced, offer a flower for the dead
BODYARMOR Strawberry Grape 28oz Beverage Review
Purchased at my local gas station in a 2 for 5 sale with a Strawberry Banana one. Since they both have strawberry in the title, I suppose I will have to compare them in a similar manner as the last time I drank Bodyarmor.
Color: Clearish violet with a faint reddish pink undertone. Very appealing, exactly what I would expect from a strawberry grape beverage. Candylike, but elegant. Vibrant, but not radioactive. If this was just a ranking on color, it would be almost perfect.
Description of Flavor: Described on the packaging as "Strawberry Grape Flavor with other Natural Flavors", though it notably lacks a picture of the fruits in question on it, instead having a diamond pattering. Perhaps this is because the flavor is assumed to be self-explanatory. I am sorely missing a stock image of a fruit on the label, truth be told, and the ambiguous "other natural flavors" makes me wary that there might be some trickery inside. The actual nutrition facts provide no further clarity.
Flavor: A weaker flavor than the other two I've tried, but I feel like that's mostly because the other two had distinct forward flavors. This tastes like you chemically engineered a perfect 50/50 grape/strawberry split, which is a feat in and of itself. If I had to pick a flavor that stands out the most, it would be the grape, but I think that's because grape naturally has a seemingly stronger aftertaste as opposed to strawberry. One thing's for sure: this is no catfish. It's literally exactly what it says on the bottle with nothing more or less. I can appreciate the reliability and honesty of this for sure, though it does feel homogenous and indistinct after a while.
Overall Impression: Ourpel. tastes like purple. it's the purple drink what the fuck did you expect
Miku Symphony Kasane Teto doodle for 4/1!!!
I'll skip over the illusions and find real love
Cause I’m too invested, I feel possessed
My love don't come for free
Shining most brightly in the dark universe
Aim to become a Princess!
Come over, this sensation won't go away
A heart that's mine completely
If I saw that, would I be surprised?
BODYARMOR Tropical Passionfruit 28oz Beverage Review
Purchased at my local gas station in a 2 for 5 sale with the Tropical Punch one. I wanted to compare them... does the passionfruit actually matter???
Color: A yellow-orange siding more with orange, like a pale sunset color. I realized it reminds me of Pikmin 3 juice combinations, so bonus points for nostalgia. On its own, though, objectively it's an odd brownish color, so not as instinctually appealing as the comparatively neon yellow of the Tropical Punch. However, I still quite like it, and it does make me want to drink it.
Description of Flavor: Described on the packaging as "Tropical Passionfruit Flavor with other Natural Flavors", with pictures of an orange, a lime, and the titular passionfruit on the packaging. I am curious about the lime here, since for both tropical and regular fruit punch it seems to be overlooked in favor of more inherently appealing fruits or even its cousin the humble lemon (as in lemonade). I'm hoping we get some lime representation, but the passionfruit needs to be the showstopper, as it's on the cover.
Flavor: Typical coconut water mouthfeel as typical, but hell yeah am I getting that fuckin' lime. Not going to lie, I was so worried they were bullshitting here, but I am pleasantly surprised. On the flipside, I am getting a lot of orange and lime flavor, but not a lot of distinct passionfruit excepting a weird sour aftertaste sensation. Granted, I am no passionfruit connoisseur, and I do taste the passionfruit, however it pales in comparison to the other two fruits, which seems like a miss. Not very passionfruity, but to be honest I don't really care since the orange-lime combo is relatively unique and delicious in its own right. Perhaps passionfruit is just not a bold flavor? Are my tastebuds Americanized? Am I.... insane? Passionfruit knows, I can only merely comprehend with my base human knowledge.
To answer my original question of Are They Legally Distinct: the answer is yes, but not in the way anyone was expecting.
Overall Impression: Passionfruit AUGH Lime and Orange 5Evar
BODYARMOR Tropical Punch 28oz Beverage Review
Purchased at my local gas station in a 2 for 5 sale. Comparison piece to their Tropical Passionfruit flavor coming soon.
Color: An appealing paleish honey yellow, reminiscent of pineapple juice. It's actually a really pretty and vibrant color don't think about food dyes that makes me want to consume it. It does get a little murky when looking straight into the bottle, but I'd be more afraid if it looked clearer.
Description of Flavor: Described on the packaging as "Tropical Punch Flavor with other Natural Flavors", with pictures of a cherry, orange, and pineapple. Sounds about right, and I'm pleasantly surprised it isn't red like other punches. They did have a dedicated Fruit Punch flavor next to it though, so perhaps this is just for differentiation. I have not had the Fruit Punch flavor for transparency.
Flavor: Typical coconut water, as congruent with the BODYARMOR brand. The specific flavor is very pineapple first, with hints of probably apple or orange. I don't get a cherry note at all, but it doesn't really need one to be honest. I like the taste of spunked up pineapple on its own. Upon more tastings, perhaps a mango or guava impression? Whatever it is, it's sufficiently tropical for me.
Overall Impression: Yellow Yummy Pineapple Good