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[unnaturalventing]

i’m extremely pissed pff at “father” right now

we cooked chicken last night, and he asked if i wanted to save it or if i was going to have some more

i said save it

HE FUCKING LEFT THE LAST TWO STRIPS IN THE MICROWAVE OVER FUCKING NIGHT

now i cant fucking eat them without risking food poisoning/salmonella!

UUUGGGHH

i’m fucking furious about it

and it’s like he doesn’t even fucking know it’s there because he has the damn sir purifier going because of the smell of it!! (it made the air smell bad when cooked)

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE HIS INCOMPETENCE

[unnaturalventing]

do you have any idea just how much effort it's taking me right now just to eat something..?

[unnaturalventing]

I don't belong in this world

[unnaturalventing]

figured out why I keep waking up and feel overwhelmingly distressed...

it's because of reality...

I have a headache now just thinking about it...

[unnaturalventing]

awake and alone again -_-

[unnaturalventing]

I need moneyyyyyyy

not just so I can move out and live my life how I wanna live it

but so I can buy games and DLC for games xd

[unnaturalventing]

I really wish I could just tell the man who's supposed to be my father to just fucking grow up and stop being a man-child

[unnaturalventing]

I'm so fucking pissed off at the stupid student loans that I'm tearing up

why can't they get this shit right anymore?! I'm fucking enrolled, I submitted an ibr plan, I CANNOT FUCKING AFFORD TO PAY $100 A FUCKING MONTH YOU BASTARD PIECES OF SHIT

[unnaturalventing]

m...why am I so lonely...

[unnaturalventing]

I deserve to be alone...

I deserve to be hated, cast aside, ignored...

I deserve everything bad that happens to me...

[unnaturalventing]

once again feeling no one fucking cares about me or hates me

I'm so fucking angry about it right now too

pissed the fuck off even

[unnaturalventing]

I want to be in a relationship like that in the stories

I want a fantastical relationship

[unnaturalventing]

I feel like I don't matter at all to anyone

not my therapist, not my so called friends, and especially not my family

I know it may sound selfish, but can I even been considered selfish when I don't even get the courtesy of my feelings being cared about in the first place?

just once I'd like to be someone's priority

[unnaturalventing]

why would you try and get someone to play therapist when you know very clearly they're upset themselves..? do you even know how inconsiderate and hurtful that is..?

[unnaturalventing]

why do I hate seeing my own name when I'm upset..?

[unnaturalventing]

why must I always be abandoned..?

why does it always hurt the same excruciating amount no matter how many times it happens,..?

[unnaturalventing]

do you ever wonder if someone from your young childhood stills remembers and misses you like you do?