[unrequitedloveletters]

Scrolling through this blog both impressed and empathetic for the young girl who was not only feeling but possessed the ability to write about all of this. I was a scorned woman before ever reaching womanhood.

[unrequitedloveletters]

It has been far too long of feeling this way and in between these feelings, I have begun to seek for something else. A feeling. An experience. Their hands feel so foreign. I am observing myself from an outsider's perspective. With a pen and paper I mark off the list of inconsistencies they have with you. Their hands don't reach me like yours can. They can't make me feel the way you do. It always feels like cheating, even though we are not together anymore.

I am aware they are not you. I will never find you in another person, and the idea that I could is insane. Why do I try? These people are not aware they are silently being graded over something they cannot control. They are placed at random in a competition on who reminds me the most of you. I watch the cycle repeat itself in disbelief. Hands that grab for mine. Lips against my own. There is no feeling. My old friend once told me "you use men, and they use you right back." I am looking for something more. They are looking for something to fill. We both are, but in different ways

[unrequitedloveletters]

“Me and who?” Says the most unlovable girl in the world

[unrequitedloveletters]

Loving you has been making me feel like a predator hunting down it’s prey

[unrequitedloveletters]

I pace around the house inside my mind looking for anything that proves I am worthy of affection and finding empty rooms. nothing about me is lovable

[unrequitedloveletters]

The way I feel about love// 2024

[unrequitedloveletters]

Hopeless romantic who simply doesn’t believe love exists for her

[unrequitedloveletters]

I just want to mean something to someone in any way

[unrequitedloveletters]

I will continue to love myself, despite all of the reasons I’ve been given not to

[unrequitedloveletters]

For your birthday one year, you are gifted a wonderful cake. This cake is delicious. It is the best thing you have ever tasted and you cannot believe it is all yours to have. You eat the entire cake. You know that you’re being selfish, indulging into your greediness, but you can’t help it: the cake is that good. The frosting is rich and delicious and the cake part is moist, it is intricately decorated in all of your favorite colors. And so you eat. You eat until there is no more cake. You no longer have anymore cake and honestly you don’t think you’ll ever eat a cake as delicious as that one. Regardless, you still try: every slice you eat is unsatisfying or disgusting. You begin to start believing that you don’t like cake anymore. Until you find it: another beautiful, delicious cake. It is tantalizing. It is perfect, and tastes almost as good as the first one. You eat the entire thing, feverishly, just as you did the first one. You get violently sick from this cake. It makes your stomach turn. you have never been as sick as you were after eating that cake. From this point forward, every cake that you eat, even if it is unsatisfying and disgusting, makes you violently ill. You swear that you will never eat cake again, because it makes you sick. Despite this, you still obviously want cake. You see videos of people enjoying delicious cake. You see people who say their favorite dessert has been cake for years and years. You are jealous. You want to know what it feels like to eat delicious cake all of the time, without it hurting you. No matter what precautions you take, there is always a risk that any bite you take out of cake is going to be moldy, or make you ill. You just want to eat cake and enjoy it like a normal person, but you believe it will never happen.

[unrequitedloveletters]

My heart will be the only heart you hear beating out of anyone’s chest again

[unrequitedloveletters]

When I lost my virginity it felt like death

[unrequitedloveletters]

Every single day I feel like I’m breathing through the stab wound in my chest you left behind

[unrequitedloveletters]

Every person who I’ve loved had managed to leave me worse than when they found me

[unrequitedloveletters]

Inverse to this: every person who I’ve loved have managed to leave me a little better than how they’ve found me

[unrequitedloveletters]

If your body is a temple, and I have to earn it, I’ll pray to it all day if I must.

[unrequitedloveletters]

Loosing you is always my most intimate fear

[wetheurban]

So it turns out they weren't the right person for you after all. Discovering this is not a failure. It’s an awakening. You don’t have to hate someone for not knowing how to love you. It hurts, but take comfort in the space created to attract even better for yourself.