Unscripted Confabulation

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I’m trying

to forgive myself

for my past,

but every time she opens up her ugly fucking mouth

I’m reminded,

I can’t forgive,

what I’m trying to forget.

m.n.,

I don’t like the person I once was

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

what does it feel like

To feel yourself

and not wonder if you should burn yourself with fire?

You see

I’m living in a body that doesn’t feel my own.

I don’t think I want in anymore.

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I am a victim of others’ violations, I am still learning to become a survivor.

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

When did you become my disaster?

m.n., ouch

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I no longer see the sun in your eyes Tell me, When did it become so dark?

m.n., do you still love me?

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

Dear lover, I'm sorry We can't be one anymore.

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

The only thing men have taught me is how to hate them This isn't meant to sound like a disaster, a broken verse, but I look into their eyes and the phrase "You deserve this" Lingers within me I don't mean to hate blues, but they remind me of white mixed with red, they remind me, I will never recover.

m.n., my thighs still sting

[luyezpuul]

i’m the edge

           shifting and eroding

i scale the ridges to contest the moonlight

      scatter when the sea creaks open and bares the sun

i could be blinded

             i can’t ask where she’s been, where it began

she keeps to herself, cups her whispers in her palms and flattens them against each other

       am i here for redemption or was my body simply a steed for justice?

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I never knew I could feel this empty being with you I'm sorry lover, I think it's time for me to go

m.n., I never wanted this

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I never thought you'd stop loving me, but suddenly it was today and I saw you couldn't look me in the eyes anymore; You were too busy looking into hers.

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

You were like a day dream dipped in ecstasy I’m not sure if that’s why I fell in love with you, but I fell hard, fast, & headfirst I learned to love the parts of you that I hated about myself You were unapologetically yourself and walked on this earth like it owed you a favor It probably did – probably still does You were like a day dream dipped in ecstasy I trusted you – still trust you, but it’s fading It kills me You were like a day dream dipped in ecstasy I’m beginning to learn that’s not such a good thing

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

Lover, I am worried I don’t see myself in your eyes anymore I fear, Are you beginning to look at someone else?

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

You always wondered why I stopped loving you You always stared at me in shock when my legs weren't shaven Haunted by the scars on my thighs And how prickly I felt between your lips You always thought that I'd change for you But darling, You couldn't handle my rawest moments My skin and bones The prickly legs Or the tear stained cheeks when I was reminded of a time I'd like to forgot You always wondered why I stopped loving you It was because I was never going to change for you

m.n., you never deserved me

[babyduppy]

i’ve never done anything like this before, but i need your help. 

my 7 year old cousin, kaleb, is supposed to come to toronto to visit me and my family for a few weeks. in the midst of preparing to visit, kaleb’s home in jamaica burned down. it’s going to be very expensive for our family to help bring some normalcy back to his life. 

his sisters @evablesspumpum and @makalahokjustmakalah and i have come up with a list of things he’ll need. its a lot of toiletries and school supplies, but there are some toys too. anything helps. if youre in america and unable to shop on canadian amazon, we would love a gift card or something.

thank you for taking the time to read, like, or reblog this. everything helps 

http://www.amazon.ca/registry/wishlist/EZS2H0BCOZFE

[evablesspumpum]

I can’t tell you how much I love this little guy. He’s my world. When he was born, I knew he’d hold a special place in my heart. He’s my baby and it hurts that he has to go through this, because the only reason I work so hard in school is to be able to minimize his hiccups in life. This little light needs our help. Please just help in whatever way you can. I’ll be forever greatful.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

He’s a very smart boy with a kind soul. Please help anyway you can.

xo

m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I'll post the June ones tomorrow :) m.n.

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I thought love was holding me when I cried, no, Love is when I am in the hospital seizing over a day I can't remember Breathing sharply Trying to figure out how I got here and you're at work Telling everyone you're not okay, crying in the parking lot Because the one you love might not be Love was never holding me when I cried That was kindness This is love God, this is love

m.n., May 31st #152

[unscriptedconfabulationmn]

I don't know where I'm going, But wherever it is I hope it's with you.

m.n., May 30th #151