Unsigned Pessimist

[unsignedpessimist-blog]

Role Model

I have come to the conclusion that I’m my own hero. I am what I aspire to be. I need no role model or celebrity to look up to. I look up at me, I strive to be the best I can be. When I’m happy and feel like life can’t get better, I strive for that. I’m perfectly imperfect, and that is fine. 

[unsignedpessimist-blog]

Loveless

I watched a movie today, where the boy falls in love with the girl and the girl falls in love with the boy, and they kiss and you can feel their fireworks. I sat, cheering and smiling at them, and came to the conclusion...that I want that, but I don't think I ever will. Movies, and books ruined the way I feel about everything, about what man I want to fall in love with, how I want my first kiss. I read this and expect this and I think I'm eternally expecting something that I will never have...a happily ever after. 

My parents aren't together and I've seen and heard the worst of "love" and I tell myself, merely a child, that that isn't love. My mother spews about how she loves my father and no one else, then complains about how he has commitment issues and drinks too much, how that my family isn't together because he felt too trapped. My father then tells me how beautiful my mother is and how much he loves her. All I can think at nine, maybe ten, years old is that I never want to love somebody...

[unsignedpessimist-blog]

Waiting....

Somewhere at sometime someone looked around and saw sadness and grey, and decided to make this new world of...not love, but fiction. They made dragons, and fairies. They made princesses in trapped towers, and brave knights to save them, because they wanted that in the world. They wanted creativity and imagination, so that nameless someone could escape from the grayness he was surrounded by. In regard nameless someone was not selfless, but, in fact, very selfish and accidentally bragged to his friend about his dragons and princesses, his friend, so enthralled, told another, who told another, who told the whole world about pixies and knights...and then here we are.

Expecting and waiting...whether it's for the next Doctor Who episode, or for the Winchesters to pull up and tell you to hop in. Whether you're waiting for your Hogwarts letter or Sherlock to solve his next case.We all wait and want, every shooting star and birthday candle and 11:11 we close our eyes and wish.