idk I'm here ig

I promise I'm not a bot, my last blog was deleted

[teathattast]

[teathattast]

Coins AND a friend? He should be grateful

[teathattast]

Realizing some things about myself today

[bramblepatch]

The thing is you can have a grassy lawn or even a golf course without it being an ecological disaster, you just have to a: be cool about having the occasional non-grass plant in the mix and b: be willing to live in a climate that supports grass without irrigation.

[bramblepatch]

Golf courses in California are an abomination which is why the sport was in fact invented in Scotland.

[abstrusetheorist]

I always thought that golf as a sport should be adapted to the local native landscape. I think this will encourage regional pride when local golfers completely trounce visitors at Swamp Golf, Desert Golf, Forest Golf, etc. Rich tourists will be pressured to travel extensively to experience all forms of golf, instead of staying in their backyard country club golf courses. Internet discourse will probably somehow get worse but I think this is a small price to pay.

[lily-stabby]

So imagine a DnD character who's whole motivation is 'X guy killed my parents and I need to find them' and the party just thinks 'ok, revenge quest, that's normal'

But when they finally find the guy the person with dead parents is just like "Hey buddy, long time no see. It's a shame we got separated, here's some money" and they're super chill.

The party is just confused and goes "Wait, why are you giving him gold?"

The guy just goes "Cause I owe him money?"

The party "But he killed your parents???"

"That's why I owe him money!"

[just-illegal]

[cryptotheism]

I just felt someone Z-target me

[search-queery]

[clearly circle-strafing you] don't be ridiculous

[largishcat]

okay now that we’ve a had couple lesbian blockbusters and milfs are having a romance moment, we need to bring back the manic pixie dream girl. she was never fuckin suited to fixing all the problems of some boring twenty year old everyman, but you know who could actually benefit from a quirky free-spirited blue haired girl with pronouns (she/they)? a newly divorced forty-something mom who’s trying to learn how to be herself for the first time in her life

[ashenmind]

[systlin]

In 38 years of life I have learned 1 thing;

If anyone is ever training you to replace them in a position and tells you 'its an easy job I don't do much' what this means is that you are about to spend six months to a year catching up on all the stuff they didn't do and sorting out the stuff they did poorly.

In related news I finally managed to finish un fucking my predecessor's lack of a filing system.

[systlin]

Apparently this post is wildly Jon from Magnus Archives coded but I regret to inform everyone that there were no weird sketchy paranormal occurences. There were only ten banker boxes full of unsorted training records, incident reports, uniform recipts, daily activity reports, and similar quite ordinary and boring paperwork. There have been zero flesh worms or NotEntities. I did find a stash of paper clips in one box under the papers but that's it.

[andhumanslovedstories]

So I came home from work today and there was a kindle addressed to me that I did not remember ordering. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how I accidentally purchased a kindle from Amazon, and when I came back from hanging out with Catherine, I told my parents, guys, you will not believe what I accidentally ordered for myself. 

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

So anyway, we now have a family kindle 

[andhumanslovedstories]

Me and Mom were talking about the kindle this morning, and she told me about how a few weeks ago, she got into her car only to discover that it had been mysteriously cleaned.

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”

Poor Dad just wants to be a man who expresses his love through silent actions, but his family consists of panicked, suspicious women who apparently are very sure that strangers will ominously do nice things for us

[importantdogimages]

[luntfontanne]

damn he really is an all-time poster

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

So, I had to explain to my mother what the Tumblr Sexyman contest was today after she overheard me and my sister discussing the Danny Motta vs. Poseidon matchup (vote Danny, guys, trust me, it would be so funny)

I explained to her in simplified terms that it was a tournament style vote between a roster of characters, most fictional, some real, for the mantle of Tumblr Sexyman. I also explained that said character didn’t need to be conventionally “sexy” to be considered.

In the process of explaining that characters like Loki and Ryan Gosling as Ryland Grace were being pitted against competitors like Scrub Daddy and Count Von Count, she learned that the Oldest Fraggle in the World was also in the running.

And she was ecstatic.

So consider this as propaganda for the Oldest Fraggle in the World, as my mom is still singing what I can only assume is the Fraggle theme song downstairs.

🗳️‼️Vote the Oldest Fraggle in the World for all the (good) moms out there‼️🗳️

I’m sorry for causing the conversation with your mother

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

so my friend keeps saying AM had a snatched waist so I sent a picture of AM saying “where”. of which I was met with this

other comment: “above the left side is boobs”

I love it

[libraarchitect]

Reblogging with my own AM propaganda: the author, Harlan Ellison, voiced AM himself, and the Hate speech (as well as his taunting of the characters) is surprisingly sexy to listen to

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

If Wilford Warfstache wins, do you think Mark would make an acceptance speech?

I hope so

[sexy-people-contests-2026]

Simon Iron Lung propaganda

He’s currently winning his poll but think of the sheer amount of people who had a primal reaction to the harness scene. Do it for them.

Do it

[pangur-and-grim]

can I make a confession that might get me in trouble

[pangur-and-grim]

I save scummed through every variation of this guy’s dialogue tree because I really, really wanted him to perform unethical surgery on me. like I’m still so angry about this. WHY have the gross knife hand doctor if he can’t pull out your appendix and laugh about it??? what is the POINT

[pangur-and-grim]

wait hang on I’ll post a pangur photo. don’t unfollow

[pangur-and-grim]

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[roadhogsbigbelly]

are twinks who go to bear-related events the "straight boyfriend at pride" of the bear world? i don't go to enough irl bear events to know for sure but i am curious if that discourse exists at all in real life, cause it's really funny to me.

[roadhogsbigbelly]

"sorry Richard but your boyfriend Miles has to stay in the car. i don't care if there's a heatwave, his bmi is under 23 he should of known better than to come here, he'll just have to deal with it"

[roadhogsbigbelly]

you hate to see someone else living you're dream. hell good for him

[cardentist]

happy pride month

[animusbell]

celestia is such a funny character like she's constantly manipulating twilight and friends to do shit instead of just asking and you could arguably frame that as being bc she's a "god" and pushing fate to her design or whatever, except that she engages with the group like a normal and relatable person, which makes it more like villainous machinations, except 90% of this manipulation goes towards things like "I don't want my party to be boring shit again. put my little country girl blorbos in there with zero prep so they fuck it up bad"

[animusbell]

you think you've fucked anything up around princess celestia and she's like heh. no worries. all according to keikaku

[jukashi]

Celestia instantly makes more sense as a character when you ignore the princess stuff and remember that she's a 1000+ years old wizard. Of course she does manipulative trickster stuff to teach moral lessons and/or cause chaos to amuse herself, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course sometimes she's actually socially awkward and bad at personal relationships and has bad ideas that she thought were good that result in her eating shit embarrassing style, that's classic wizard behavior. Of course she lets the aristocrats and nobles run around being assholes she's still running on wizard advisor programming, she's basically trying to merlin the entire upper class of equestria instead of just a king and some knights. "Yeah uuhhh we'll release the incarnation of chaos himself from his ancient prison because we think this shy girl can be friends with him", terrible plan if you're thinking like a ruler, amazing plan if you're thinking like a wizard. Just look at Canterlot 'Castle' for five seconds and ask yourself if that's in any way a castle. No. Wizard tower, yes. Wizard.

[animusbell]

You are so right actually