"unstable equilibrium" @unstabl3-equilibrium - Tumblr Blog

No. But I plan on taking to her about a lot of that things that I'm angry about our shared of next week when I see her.

Yeah, I’m trying to do that too. How long have you been in therapy with her?

I personally can't imagine recovery without my current therapist.

I agree! The trouble is that sometimes I’m quite scared of getting better if it would mean losing her. Have you talked yo him/her about that?

Friends

Hello everyone! Is there any of you who would like to chat? I really don’t know how to chat with people here. I’m Italian and looking for someone who share my same fears, troubles and thoughts. I know Italian, Spanish, English and French, so if someone wants to chat a bit :)

#bpd #BPD Life #bpd problems #borderline personality disorder #Borderline #being borderline #borderline personalities #actually borderline #borderlands

Sometimes I feel I couldn't go on without my therapist. What are your feelings for your therapist?

#bpd problems #bpd feels #actually bpd #bpd things #bpd stuff #borderline problems #actually borderline #being borderline #borderline life #borderline things #transfertragedy

I had chosen not to talk about my borderline to my friends because I didn't want them to justify my inappropriate behaviours. I was afraid of false reactions, like "oh don't worry, I know you're crazy" and other shit like this. Then one day I decided to talk about that to a friend of mine, someone I used to consider very close to me. And he had the worst reaction ever: he laughed and said "oh, I thought it was something more serious, everyone is borderline". WHAAAAAT? I really can't get through this. I find it meaningless. When I asked him then to talk me about what borderline means he didn't even know what to say, of course. And what is worse, during the following days he started behaving like me, pretending to be borderline. I find it really ridicolous, I can't understand why people think mentall illness is something cool to be proud of. I mean, I find it very offensive, because he doesn't know what is like living this way. I would like someone to talk about that, it would mean a lot to me

#borderline personality disorder #borderline problems #borderlinelife #being borderline #borders #borderline traits #borderline things #borderline relationships #bpd #bpd problems #bpd feels #bpd life #bpd things

karsenbreanne-deactivated201705

Someone once told me that I was hard to love. The way I switched back and forth so quickly, my emotions always shifted so swiftly- they told me I was unpredictable. Never knowing what you’re gonna get, I go from white and back to black again- never gray, I wish I could explain why I am this way But its hard. I am hard to love. You say touching me is like walking on egg shells- never knowing if you’ll be greeted with embrace or a slap to the face, whether I’ll think you’re sweet or just a sour taste- I’m sorry for my change of pace- I am teetering. Teetering between day and night, hiding in the shadows only to embrace the light never knowing what it is that I want, never knowing when I’ll change my mind- I am indecisive. Someone once told me I was the most infuriating person they’d ever met, they way I floundered like scared prey desperately avoiding their net- they said I just want to hold you, I said today I don’t want you to. Borderline. That’s what psychiatrists pegged my Personality with the addition of the word Disorder. My cells are disordered. I am hard to love. One second I adore your essence, the next second I can’t stand your presence and I’m sorry. So I will refuse your touch although I crave your attention, the pendulum that is my mind I thought I had mentioned- I am indecisive. I can be pulsing love through my veins at the hour and by the next rain down fury that showers You, and you will wonder exactly when the shift occurred. I wonder that too. My hands once used to cradle someone I felt so significant will suddenly find themselves feeling indifferent and I will have hurt you But I never meant to. I never meant to climb aboard this never ending roller coaster ride, the one that doesn’t prohibit letting more passengers inside- I never meant to be Borderline.

(aureate-dwale)