I'm still unwritten, so to speak, but it's time to flip to a new chapter.
I hate most of the people in it, and the people that I don't hate are the people I really should.
By the point this cycles through my queue, a handful of you will have received a message from me directing you to my new blog/URL. As much as I adore "unwritten-scorpion", I associate it with sucktastic and painful things/occurrences. I need to move on.
There's an issue that I've written up on my dA journal, because that's where the least amount of people see my stuff. I've recently changed. Quite a bit, actually. From how I view the world to how I'm learning to deal with people- even down to my taste buds (dill pickles? YUCK).
I've sprouted a backbone, it would seem. I am still helpful. I am still willing to lend you my hand, but I have come to a point in my life where I cannot take being stepped on, anymore. I can't. I have done naught but aid people for my entire life, sacrificing my happiness and enjoyment of events and life for them so that they may smile. All I get in return is "you could've done better" or "nothing you did helped".
I have tried to help, and when that didn't work time and time again for certain people and situations, I stood up for myself and told them to fix it themselves, then, if they didn't like how I was doing it. I lost friends.
I've fallen out of contact with people I used to consider close friends.
And I've gotten to the point where I.
I know who the good people are.
I know who the people with good hearts are.
I know who I can count on to let me lean on them in my own times of weakness, as difficult as it is, for me.
I know who I can trust to not lean on me when I'm already falling.
Unfortunately, someone that is supposed to be a partner in crime and semi-organized groups is not one of those people. Pity. I was hoping that person would be different. I was hoping that I could trust them.
Because when you say "You can always text or call me", then I, stupidly, am going to think you're going to follow through on that.
That individual is not the point of this.
The point is, to those people who have offered their help, friendship, and love to me: Thank you. I will see you on the other side.
To those people who have not, and those who have generally taken me and my offerings of help for granted, and those who have done naught but shit on me:
Oh, and a little tidbit- there's a reason that "scorpion" is in my URL, here. It's not because of Vriska. It's because of me. I am a Scorpio. And one of the very most important things you should know about us is that grudges are a huge thing of ours.
Take this as a hint of our future communication.
I will not acknowledge you.
Think I'll eventually break down?
Take this into consideration: I have held a grudge for almost 11 years. Count those, by the way- I was 9 when it started.
So, let's bring this novel to a close.
I am Christa. Chris for short, if you like. I just turned 20. I am English, Irish, Scottish, Brazillian, Native American, and raised with a Norwegian Grandmother and Great-Grandmother. I have a short temper that festers under the surface. I will help you if I'm able. I will tell you "no" when I do not wish to/am unable to help you.
I hate a good portion of you.
Message recipients: I will see you on the other side, and it will be glorious.