Pass The Scotch (salmon)

cumming to a riverbank near you 🍷🐟🫧

[huariqueje]

The Ocean at Dusk -  Kate Jarvik Birch 

American , b. 1977 -

Gouache on paper , 10 x 10 in.

[clara-scintilla]

River fauna ⭐️🐟

Designs are open for claims, dm if interested!

[daz-e]

[lakewinnipeg]

his wife has stocked his ponds with fish;

[oniongarlic]

To keep it real i fuck him on the shore

[kaijuno]

[dragonpyre]

I’m not just a good pair of tits. I’m also incredibly annoying

[parkchanwoohoo]

Remembering when people used to write guides for how to make your character not a Mary Sue. Setting aside the misogyny and just how dumb/boring all that shit was, you hardly needed a GUIDE. The best female characters are raging assholes. It's so easy. That's step one and you're done baby

[perenial]

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing

[perenial]

[houseofcucci]

Stop saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”. I’ve got my eye on one specific, emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues

[etacanis]

had a dream i was on a path in the woods and at the end of the path was a cabin and in the basement of that cabin was a princess and i was there to slay her or it would be the end of the world but when i went in the basement there was just a lone salmon . it wasnt alive . it was a cooked salmon . and the narrator was like ok slay her what are you waiting for and i was like theres no princess and he was like what do you mean shes right there and i was like that is a salmon and he was like what no and i was like its literally not alive i cant slay the salmon and he was like can you at least try so i spent like ten minutes just stabbing this salmon and eventually i was like this isnt working can i go home and the narrator was like you still have to slay the salmon and then i woke up

[lavb-b]

The devs arent finish yet, they have one more princess to add.

[sacred-portal]

[daily-plush]

2002 Cabin Critters Spotted Trout Plush

[ofishal-fish-posts]

official fish post

[upstreamgirl1998]

holy shit is that upstreamgirl1998

what are you staring at shithead

[amoeba-arts]

salmon cat cat salmon

[kragehund-est]

did you memorize the 5 species of salmon in the pacific-northwest using a mnemonic on your hand? or do i gotta teach you?

[kragehund-est]

ok listen up, i'm only gonna say this once:

PINKY is PINK SALMON (self explanatory)

RING FINGER is SILVER SALMON (like a silver wedding ring)

MIDDLE FINGER is KING SALMON (longest finger is the king)

INDEX FINGER is SOCKEYE SALMON (because when you point, you can jab someone in the eye)

THUMB is CHUM SALMON (because it rhymes

good, now that we've cleared that up, go forth and conquer.

[upstreamgirl1998]

blub

[transgenderer]

in the world where we're all rivers you are instead proven "silty beyond a reasonable trout" and sentenced to the diversion of your head waters (in the world where we're all rivers this is basically execution)