Bloodied petals - Xavier Thorpe x reader | Part.2
Summary: Denial and weird roommates aren’t helping your health to improve. During the Poe cup, Xavier starts to suspect that something is wrong.
Warnings: angst, mention of blood, swearing.
A/N: definitely not proof-read and English isn’t my mother tongue, but the hype for the angst™ was stronger
Also, shitty timeline, I have legit no memory of how long days pass in this show.
A few days had passed since that night. The frequency of the coughs hadn’t died down, although it was always quite unpredictable. Some days were easier than others, you only sneezed a few petals here and there; but some others were filled with sharp pain in your chest, uncontrollable coughs and whole flowers throwed up at the worst moments. You even started to feel lightheaded sometimes, as the unforgiving pressure on your chest squeezed harder and harder with every cough.
Thankfully you always managed to excuse yourself when you felt the pressure of a rough cough starting to build up in your chest. Like now, you were kneeling on one of the restroom’s floors, bent over the toilet sink and throwing up everything you could to try to free your lungs at least a little. Silently praying that no one was around to hear your choking sounds, you managed to throw out the last flower out of your throat. Wiping your mouth with the back of your trembling hand, you flushed the toilet, watching the white petals coated in blood being washed away. Sighing, you closed the toilet lid and sat on it, burying your face in your hands. Those last days had been hectic and your condition hadn’t improved the slightest. It even seemed worse than before, with some violent setbacks like now. It sometimes felt so hard to breathe for a few minutes, while you had never experienced any serious health issues before.
Maybe it was the stress; after Rowan’s aggression at the fair, Wednesday’s allegations about his death, then him being expelled, nothing made sense these days. Xavier hadn’t mentioned anything from that evening in his dorm. The day after had been a little bit awkward, but then the both of you acted like nothing happened; still, you started to put some distance between you. Firstly because you didn’t want to make things more weird, and second because you didn’t want anyone to know about that strange condition of yours. Plus, the sensation of aching lungs seemed to be worse every time you were around him. It surely didn’t mean anything, but it was a good excuse to avoid him until your health improved.
Checking your phone you noticed that your next class was about to start in a few minutes. So you gathered yourself, wiped the last remaining traces of tears or blood on your face, and got out of the restroom.
You slid on your seat in literature class just in time before the teacher started their lecture. Trying to pull out your notes and pen the more discreetly you could, you didn’t notice the worried look Xavier gave you from across the room. It wasn’t like you at all to be late for class. Even less to be so clumsy, he noted internally as you dropped your pen for the third time in five minutes. Xavier frowned. Something felt off about you and he couldn’t help but feel guilty about it deep down. You had left his dorm hurriedly last time ; he didn’t know exactly why but he still had the feeling he had something to do with it.
So when class was dismissed and all the students exited the room he rushed to catch you in the corridor.
“Hey,” he called softly when reaching you.
Your head whipped in his direction, eyes wide. You had been so deep in your thoughts you hadn’t heard him.
“Hey,” you breathed back. His sudden apparition had almost startled you.
Xavier opened his mouth, about to say something but then he noticed your wince at the loud barks and laughs of a few werewolves students passing by. The quad was full of students at this break time, and your recent lack of sleep made you irritable to the ambient noise.
So he grabbed your hand and muttered something about the place being too loud as he gently tugged you in a corridor. The sudden contact had made your heart race despite the familiarity of it; you silently prayed that he couldn’t feel your racing pulse under his long fingers, delicately wrapped around your wrist.
The two of you finally reached one of the corridors above the quad, much quieter than the place full of students. When it was clear that no one else was up here, Xavier let go of your wrist and turned to you.
“Hey,” he repeated, “are you alright?”
The sudden question made your heart start to race in panic. Has he noticed something? Did he find a petal in his dorm?
“You were late in class earlier,” he clarified at your lack of response, “you overslept or something?”
You almost sighed loudly in relief. “I- yeah I overslept this morning,” you lied with a small smile - you hoped it was reassuring enough. “Enid must’ve forgot to wake me up ah ah.”
Even if you laughed about it and brushed it away, Xavier was still not fully convinced. You were a decent liar to anyone else, but not to him, he knew you too well for that.
“Look, about what happened last night in my room…” he started awkwardly, licking his lips nervously, “I’m sorry you left so suddenly.”
You looked at him, eyes wide. “I- no that’s okay,” you stuttered, surprised he brought that up. “I had stuff to take care of, anyway.”
“Really?” he asked immediately, narrowing his eyes.
Taken aback by his fast response you could only stare at him, mouth slightly agape and lost for words. He was totally not buying it.
“Because you left in quite a hurry,” added Xavier, crossing his arms over his chest.
You looked away, licking your lips nervously. Why couldn’t he drop it? Or at least, figure out what had been bothering you? Maybe it’ll help you understand, because you weren’t so sure of what had hurt you so much either.
“It’s nothing, okay?” you mumbled quietly, still looking anywhere but at Xavier. “I just…I didn’t want to be too much, that's all.”
Too much, or overstepping in your fascination for Wednesday, you thought internally. But then, a hand came to cup your cheek and turn your face back to Xavier.
“Hey,” he said softly, and his voice made you look up at him. His warm brown eyes bore deep into yours, like a reassuring presence. “You will never be too much, okay? Not to me.”
You lightly gasped at his words, you didn’t even realize you released a breath. The tension that had been building inside your chest, full of anxiety and stifling sorrow, suddenly disappeared. Like his words were enough to blow away the petals that were threatening to come out your mouth.
“I know I acted as an idiot, okay?” he continued. Though his hand never left your cheek, and you were internally grateful for that. “I shouldn’t have dropped everything to start sketching while you were there.”
This felt like a cold shower. Ah, so that was what he thought he did wrong. Maybe it was, but the memory of what happened was still painful to you.
“I can’t stop you from drawing Xav,” you said, reluctantly pushing yourself away from his touch. “It wouldn’t be fair of me.”
Xavier frowned at you as you readjusted the strap of your bag over your shoulder, like you were ready to go. Never in all the years he had known you, you had ever fled his company. Yet, his presence seemed to make you uncomfortable now. Shit, how much of a prick had he been?
While he was stuck in his internal debate, you sighed. Of course, this topic was over for him. So you turned and started to walk away from him. That made Xavier snap back to reality, and a sliver of lucidity suddenly hit him.
“This is about Wednesday, isn’t it?” he called from behind.
That made you stop dead in your tracks and snap your head to him, eyebrows raised high.
The fact that it had made you react was maybe a sign that he was somehow right. As your mind tried to understand it all, the look of surprise on your face somehow reminded Xavier of the sadness that had emanated from you when you had left his room that night. It made his heart squeeze because he knew it was because of him.
“I- I know her. From before,” he explained, unsure about how to present things. “I met her when we were kids. She saved my life”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked perplexedly.
He opened his mouth once, twice, searching for the right words. “I don’t know,” he finally admitted.
Your throat felt suddenly tight. Like something bitter was stuck. “Is that why you admire her so much?” you asked, and you hear your voice crack a little. Hopefully with the distance, Xavier wouldn’t notice.
He didn’t. “I don’t know,” he repeated, still unsure of himself. He seemed as lost as you. “I just want to get to know her, you know?”
Deep in your chest, you felt your heart crack a little. It felt like the lightweightness you had felt only a few minutes earlier were gone, leaving your rib cage feeling like it was crushed by vines.
And yet, you couldn’t help but swallow everything, the bitter taste, the petals that started to gather in your lungs and the burning sensation of tears, and put on a brave smile.
“Well then, good luck Xav,” you smiled, hoping that your lips wouldn’t wobble too much. “I hope you’ll succeed in that.”
After all, you were his best friend. It wasn’t fair of you to stop him from reaching new friends, you had never had any problem with any of them before. But once again, none of his other friends had captivated him like that.
As you walked away once again, you heard him call you again.
“You’re still my girl, you know that right?”
His words made you stop. Slightly glancing behind your shoulder, you could see his sad eyes plagued with guilt; but you knew better, and recognized the sparkle in them. The unmistakable sparkle that twinkled in his eyes when you were speaking in hushed tones together, sharing secrets and moments, only the two of you. When he called you his girl, like he started to years ago. The two kids whose guardians were too busy to properly take care of, who swore to have each other’s back.
The familiarity of the nickname flooded your heart with warmth, and to Xavier’s relief it also made your lips curl into a fond smile.
“Yeah,” you answered softly, “I know.”
Walking to your next class, you felt lighter than before. The oppressing sensation of your lungs being squeezed was still here, always crawling behind your rib cage, but it felt like there was a little less pressure than before. Maybe there would be fewer petals today.
“Ah, there you are!” cheered Enid the next day, as you joined her on the yard after one of your classes. “Guess what! Wednesday agreed to substitute for Yoko’s role as co-captain for the race!”
“Really?” you asked, giving your gloomy roommate a surprised look.
“I never turn down an occasion for a crushing revenge,” she said flatly.
“It’ll be a roomie's bonding time!” squealed Enid, looking at the both of you excitedly. “All three of us, competing for the Poe cup!”
Wednesday raised her eyebrow at you, “I didn’t take you for the type to indulge in those childish games, Y/N. You just lost my entire respect.”
You shrugged, still unaffected by your new roommate’s brutal comments, “The school’s offering an occasion to legally try to drown other students, I’d be stupid to not have fun in that.”
“Fair enough,” she observed sharply. “You’ve regained my respect.”
That made you chuckle. Even if the apparent infatuation of Xavier for Wednesday pained you, you genuinely enjoy your new roommate’s company. She was weird, but again, everyone kind of was at Nevermore.
“What are you and Xavier to each other?” asked Wednesday suddenly.
The unexpected change of subject made you choke slightly. You had definitely not seen that one coming.
“Excuse me?” you said perplexed.
“I asked about the nature of the relationship between you and Xavier Thorpe,” deadpanned Wednesday.
God, why was her question making you so uneasy suddenly? You had never minded to bring the subject up, after all rumors at Nevermore were frequent and you were indeed close with him. But after what had happened - or almost happened - last time in his room, you weren’t so sure of what to say. Licking your lips nervously, unsure of how to present things, you turned to your other roommate silently pleading for help. But Enid only giggled excitedly.
“They’re best-friends to lovers' material,” she said with an amused smile.
“I don’t understand a single word you had just said,” sneered back Wednesday.
“We grew up together,” you finally said to interrupt Enid from spilling all of her theories about the two of you. “We’re close friends that’s all.”
The blonde werewolf gave you a wicked smile, “Suuuure you are.”
Rolling your eyes, you refocused on Wednesday, “Why are you asking?”
She only narrowed her eyes at you, “Gathering intel on potential suspects, that’s all.”
That brought a nervous laugh out of you, “Excuse me, what?”
“Nothing for you to worry about,” she snapped back, “if I ever need information about him I know who I’ll need to bribe,” she finished before turning and walking away.
You stood here dumbfounded for a moment, before coming after her.
“Hey!” you called her as you caught up with her until you were now facing her. “I don’t know what you’re suspecting of, but Xavier’s innocent, alright? And I won’t tell you anything if you’re trying to drag dirt on him, okay?”
Wednesday stared at you before answering, “You’d make an acceptable person if you didn’t let your emotions cloud your judgment so pathetically.”
“Thank you for the advice about social skills,” you said dryly, “but also, none of your damn business.”
She only shrugged and stepped away. “He’ll come to me anyway, considering he’s acting like a sad puppy for some reason.”
As she walked away, her words rang in your head. The harsh squeeze on your lungs it suddenly triggered was proof enough that she was unfortunately right.
The day of the Poe cup came around faster than you expected. Still, you were glad for the occasion to drift your mind away from the plaguing thought of your concerning condition. Enid and Wednesday were still unaware of it; when the coughs had started to shake you awake at night, your silencing spell had come handy. Now you cast it almost every night to prevent your roommates from hearing your gruesome choking.
“Aww we match!” clapped Enid as you and Wednesday joined the rest of the team in your cat costumes.
“Don’t get used to it,” groaned the Addams.
“So, are we ready?” asked the werewolf, “Everyone knows what they have to do?” At the collective nod, she cheered again and all the team members took place in the canoe.
“I thought you’d be co-captain, Y/N” observed Wednesday while grabbing her paddle.
“I’m much more useful at the back, trust me,” you said with a grin, “witch powers.”
That almost brought the tiniest smile to her face. At least Wednesday seemed to enjoy the competitive aspect of the race.
Glancing to your right to the Joker's canoe, you caught a glimpse of Xavier at the front of the boat. You looked at his face painted in creepy clown makeup, and for a brief moment, you thought that he was actually pretty attractive like that. Shaking your head to chase the intrusive thought you mentally scowled yourself. Now was not the time!
Despite that you glanced at him once again; only to feel your heart squeeze a little more at the sight of him looking to Wednesday. His words a few days prior rang in your head. You’re still my girl, you know that, right? Yes, you knew. But even if you were his girl, his oldest friend, it wasn’t you he was currently staring at like you were the only person in the world. You couldn’t hold back the cough that pushed itself out of your throat violently this time. The intensity of your coughing fit was new, shaking you so hard you ended up bent in half with your hand clutched on your mouth, trying to tune down your stifling noises.
“Y/N, you okay back there?” called Enid from her seat.
The wet sensation on your hand made you wince. “I’m fine,” you wheezed, “ ‘s nothing”
As soon as the coughs calmed down, you threw whatever you had regurgitated on the canoe floor before anyone could notice. Lifting your head up to recompose yourself, you caught sight of the face of your best friend, concerned in his eyes.
‘You alright?’ you saw Xavier mouth.
The only thing you could do was to nod before the sound of a blown horn indicated the start of the race. Without wasting a single minute, every team started to row like their life depended on it. Your eyes briefly flickered to your feet; between them laid three whole white lilies tainted with blood. You gulped. Now was really not the time.
After an eventful crossing of the lake, where you had your head almost chopped off by the Joker’s ax, your team finally managed to reach the island. While Wednesday ran to find the flag, you stayed to ensure nobody tried to sabotage your canoe – as Enid did to the Joker’s.
As you saw the two other teams coming back with their flags and sail again you started to worry about Wednesday. Has something happened to her? Before you and Enid started to talk about who should check on her, she appeared again, flag in hand.
All of your team jumped in your canoe in a hurry, and left the island in the blink of an eye.
“We’re far behind everyone else!” shouted one of your teammates. “We’re not gonna make it!”
“Y/N!” shouted Enid, “Think you can give us a little push?”
Immediately dropping your paddle inside the boat, you inhaled deeply, “I can! Brace yourselves ladies, hold tight!”
Trying to slow down your breathing you concentrated hard, reaching down to your powers and started to mutter the words of incantation. The water at the back of the boat suddenly started to shiver, and the next thing your team knew, the canoe was propelled onward by a hard push. They all gripped the edges of the boat to steady themselves as you gained speed, rapidly gaining a foothold your opponents.
“That’s amazing!” screamed Enid over her shoulder, “How long do you think can hold this?”
Deep into concentration you tried to not break the spell, “Long enough for us to reach the shore if everything goes smoothly!”
Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a move in the water. One of the sirens.
“Wednesday!” you called her, “Eight o’clock!”
She whipped her head, immediately identifying the threat and nodded sharply. Thing crawled out from under her seat, and dove into the water. Oh, you loved that hand.
The outline of the shores were noticeable by now, so you reached deeper into your powers to try to give your boat a little more speed. The canoe accelerated again, going past Bianca’s team's flowing boat, but as you thought you could make a home run of this crossing, a violent cough startled you. The sudden stop in the push of your power shook the boat, your other team mates screaming in surprise while you tried the hardest to breathe.
“What’s going on?!” asked Enid.
Failing to swallow your coughs you could only hope for this fit to be a brief one, “Don’t cough stop,” you wheezed from your seat, “start cough cough paddling, we’re almost there!”
They all grabbed their paddles and started to paddle like their lives depended on it. You tried to keep up their paces, but the unforgiving coughs were weakening you too much. For a moment, you wondered if you weren’t going to pass out in the canoe. But then, as you approached the shore the euphoria of close victory on the boat gained you, and with a rush of adrenaline, you jumped out of the boat with your teammates, rushing to the finish line.
Cheers echoed everywhere around you, congratulating the Ophelia team. Even the feeling of petals scratching in your throat couldn’t ruin your joy for once. You knew swallowing it down was coming to bite you later, and that you were going to spend the evening throwing up petals and blood, but for now you wanted to feel normal.
Below on the shore, as the other teams reached the land Xavier’s eyes landed on a white and red spot on the ground of the black cat’s canoe. He frowned at the bloodied flowers, especially when he realized they were where you had sat. How did the flowers end up here?
Whipping his head in the direction of the joyful cheers, his eyes landed on you, your broad smile as Enid’s arms were thrown over your shoulders. It had been a long time since he hadn’t seen you smile like that.
But the way you turned away your face and covered your mouth with your hand to cough, just for a few seconds, didn’t escape him. Nor the slight smudge of blood dripping on the corner of your mouth just before you wiped it.
His eyes flickered to the blood-coated flowers in the boat, then back to you and a cold feeling suddenly sank inside of him.
Something felt off. Xavier didn’t know why yet, but something about you was very, very wrong.
A/N: this was supposed to be a two-part one shot. Well, guess I'm writing a whole fic now
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