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Today's Document

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@utilitariancrochet
Y’ALL STFU AND LOOK AT THIS SHIT I DESIGNED IN 3 DAYS IN A FUGUE STATE
Final edit:
Patterns live now
Greetings bugs and worms!
This comic is a little different than what I usually do but I worked real hard on it—Maybe I'll make more infographic stuff in the future this ended up being fun. Hope you learned something new :)
If you are still curious and want to learn more about OCD, you can visit the International OCD Foundation's website. I also recommend this amazing TED ED video "Starving The Monster", which was my first introduction to the disorder and this video by John Green about his own experience with OCD.
The IOCDF's website can also help you find support groups, therapy, and has lots of online guides and resources as well if you or a loved one is struggling with the disorder. It is very comprehensive!
Reblog to teach your followers about OCD
(But also not reblogging doesn't make you evil, silly goose)
So I work at a library and about a month ago I helped a little old woman who is legally blind figure out how to listen to our audiobooks on her tablet. We got to chatting and I mentioned that I always listen to audiobooks while I knit, which made her very excited and she told me all about the afghans she used to make when she could still see. She was so sweet and I was so glad to be able to help her figure out a way to still enjoy books without being able to read.
Yesterday I answered the phone at work and when I said my name the woman on the other line got so excited and said “Madeline?? You’re exactly who I wanted to talk to! This is Marie, you helped me about a month ago. How late are you working today?” It was her!! And about an hour later she and her husband showed up, and she was carrying a huge stack of old knitting patterns for me, and her husband brought in a few boxes full of yarn. They couldn’t stay long but I was so touched that she remembered me, and I struggled to not just flat out start crying when she handed me the patterns. When I looked through them later I realized it was her entire personal collection from over the years, including all her personal notes and drawings and even some photographs of her finished pieces. No one in my family knits, and to have someone pass on their legacy to me like that was incredibly moving.
This isn’t what I usually post here, but with life being especially dark lately I wanted to share a moment of happiness and a reminder that a bit of kindness goes a long way ♡
Someone brought this up on instagram, so now I'm curious how things overlap.
If you are an artist/crafter (this was in the context of knitting but really anything that involves making something) do you have one WIP or multiple, and do you suspect or have confirmed you have ADHD?
1 WIP at a time, no ADHD
1 WIP at a time, suspected ADHD
1 WIP at a time, diagnoses ADHD
Multiple WIPs, no ADHD
Multiple WIPs, suspected ADHD
Multiple WIPs, diagnosed ADHD
There is no "I just like answering polls" option here because, as a good scientist, I don't want to deal with junk data. Please reblog for a larger sample size!
Guy wanted me to make him a queen-size blanket.
OH MY GOD this is exactly why I am afraid to do commissions. People don’t understand that this shit takes time…and even if I pay myself like 5 dollars an hour…it’s gonna be 200+ dollars. Go to fuckin Walmart and get ur shitty ass blanket lmao
The Finish the Dance cowl, in honor of the Pulse victims. Don’t judge my tension to harshly #menwhoknit #gaymenwhoknit
Minior’ shell has been finished and added! Hopefully I can get a video of him being removed/added to his shell, but for now you’ll just have to take my word that it does come off 😅
I know this photo set isn’t much, but from what you can see, how do you like Minior?!
Useful links; Find me on Etsy: http://TheTallGrass.Etsy.com/ Follow me on DeviantArt: http://TallGrassArt.deviantart.com/ Daily updates on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetallgrass/ Support new Amigurumi: https://ko-fi.com/TheTallGrass
People who don’t knit or crochet will never know the very specific satisfaction of finding the end of a center-pull ball on the first try
Do you know any patterns for hexagonal granny-squares?
There are a whole bunch of them for crochet on Ravelry (doing a search for “hexagonal granny” brings up loads) but here’s one I particularly like:
If this isn’t what you had in mind, definitely do a search on Ravelry. You’ll get dozens of alternatives. :) Hope this helps!
If it's more traditional granny then magic circle and instead of the 4 sets of three do 6 sets of 3 and build just like granny square. All granny shapes are just the square with the adjusted number of 3s
SkyKnit: When knitters teamed up with a neural network
[Make Caows and Shapcho - MeganAnn]
[Pitsilised Koekirjad Cushion Sampler Poncho - Maeve]
[Lacy 2047 - michaela112358]
I use algorithms called neural networks to write humor. What’s fun about neural networks is they learn by example - give them a bunch of some sort of data, and they’ll try to figure out rules that let them imitate it. They power corporate finances, recognize faces, translate text, and more. I, however, like to give them silly datasets. I’ve trained neural networks to generate new paint colors, new Halloween costumes, and new candy heart messages. When the problem is tough, the results are mixed (there was that one candy heart that just said HOLE).
One of the toughest problems I’ve ever tried? Knitting patterns.
I knew almost nothing about knitting when @[email protected] sent me the suggestion one day. She sent me to the Ravelry knitting site, and to its adults-only, often-indecorous LSG forum, who as you will see are amazing people. (When asked how I should describe them, one wrote “don’t forget the glitter and swearing!”)
And so, we embarked upon Operation Hilarious Knitting Disaster.
The knitters helped me crowdsource a dataset of 500 knitting patterns, ranging from hats to squids to unmentionables. JC Briar exported another 4728 patterns from the site stitch-maps.com.
I gave the knitting patterns to a couple of neural networks that I collectively named “SkyKnit”. Then, not knowing if they had produced anything remotely knittable, I started posting the patterns. Here’s an early example.
MrsNoddyNoddy wrote, “it’s difficult to explain why 6395, 71, 70, 77 is so asthma-inducingly funny.” (It seems that a 6000-plus stitch count is, as GloriaHanlon put it, “optimism”).
As training progressed, and as I tried some higher-performance models, SkyKnit improved. Here’s a later example.
Even at its best, SkyKnit had problems. It would sometimes repeat rows, or leave them out entirely. It could count rows fairly reliably up to about 22, but after that would start haphazardly guessing random largish numbers. SkyKnit also had trouble counting stitches, and would confidently declare at the end of certain lines that it contained 12 stitches when it was nothing of the sort.
But the knitters began knitting them. This possibly marks one of the few times in history when a computer generated code to be executed by humans.
[Mystery lace - datasock]
[Reverss Shawl - citikas]
[Frost - Odonata]
The knitters didn’t follow SkyKnit’s directions exactly, as it turns out. For most of its patterns, doing them exactly as written would result in the pattern immediately unraveling (due to many dropped stitches), or turning into long whiplike tentacles (due to lots of leftover stitches). Or, to make the row counts match up with one another, they would have had to keep repeating the pattern until they’d reached a multiple of each row count - sometimes this was possible after a few repeats, while other times they would have had to make the pattern tens of thousands of stitches long. And other times, missing rows made the directions just plain impossible.
So, the knitters just started fixing SkyKnit’s patterns.
Knitters are very good at debugging patterns, as it turns out. Not only are there a lot of knitters who are coders, but debugging is such a regular part of knitting that the complicated math becomes second nature. Notation is not always consistent, some patterns need to be adjusted for size, and some simply have mistakes. The knitters were used to taking these problems in stride. When working with one of SkyKnit’s patterns, GloriaHanlon wrote, “I’m trying not to fudge too much, basically working on the principle that the pattern was written by an elderly relative who doesn’t speak much English.”
Each pattern required a different debugging approach, and sometimes knitters would each produce their own very different-looking versions. Here are three versions of “Paw Not Pointed 2 Stitch 2″.
[Top - ActualJellyfish; Middle - LadyAurian; Bottom (sock version) - ShoelessJane]
Once, knitter MeganAnn came across a stitch that didn’t even exist (something SkyKnit called ’pbk’). So she had to improvise. “I googled it and went with the first definition I got, which was ‘place bead and knit’.” The resulting pattern is “Ribbed Rib Rib” below (note bead).
[Ribbed Rib Rib - MeganAnn]
Even debugged, the patterns were weird. Like, really, really nonhumanly weird.
“I love how organic it comes out,“ wrote Vastra. SylviaTX agreed, loving “the organic seeming randomness. Like bubbles on water or something,”
SkyKnit’s patterns were also a pain. Michaela112358 called Row 15 of Mystery Lace (above) “a bit of a head melter”, commenting that it “lacked the rhythm that you tend to get with a normal pattern”. Maeve_ish wrote that Shetland Bird Pat “made my brain hurt so I went to bed.” ShoelessJane asked, “Okay, now who here has read Snow Crash?”
[Winder Socks (2 versions) - TotesMyName]
“I was laughing a few days ago because I was trying to math a Skyknit pattern and my brain…froze. Like, no longer could number at all. I stared blankly at my scribbles and at the screen wondering what had happened til somehow I rebooted. Yup, Skyknit crashed my brain.” - Rayn63
[Paw chain 2 - HMSChicago]
On the pattern SkyKnit called “Cherry and Acorns Twisted To”:
“Couple notes on the knitting experience, which while funny wasn’t terribly pleasurable: Because there’s no rhythm or symmetry to the pattern, I felt I was white-knuckling it through each line, really having to concentrate. There are also some stitch combinations that aren’t very comfortable to execute physically, YO, SSK in particular.
That said, I’m nearly tempted to add a bit of random AI lace to a project, perhaps as cuffs on a sweater or a short-row lace panel in part of a scarf, like Sylvia McFadden does in many of her shawl designs. As another person in the thread said, it would add a touch of spider-on-LSD.” -SarahScully
[cherry and acorns twisted to - Sarah Scully]
BridgetJ’s comments on “Butnet Scarf”:
“Four repeats in to this oddball, daintily alien-looking 8-row lace pattern, and I have, improbably, begun to internalize it and get in to a rhythm like every other lace pattern.
I still have a lingering suspicion that I’m knitting a pattern that could someday communicate to an AI that I want to play a game of Global Thermonuclear War, but I suppose at least I’ll have a scarf at the end of it?” -BridgetJ
[butnet scarf - BridgetJ]
There was also this beauty of a pattern, that SkyKnit called “Tiny Baby Whale Soto”. GloriaHanlon managed somehow to knit it and described it as “a bona fide eldritch horror. Think Slenderman meets Cthulu and you wouldn’t be far wrong.”
[Tiny Baby Whale Soto - GloriaHanlon]
Other than being a bit afraid of Tiny Baby Whale Soto, the knitters seem happy to do the bidding of SkyKnit, brain melts and all.
“I cast on for a lovely MKAL with a designer I totally trust and became immediately suspicious because the pattern made sense. All rows increase in an orderly manner. There are no “huh?” moments. There are no maths at all…it has all been done for me. I thought I would be happy, yo. Instead, I am kind of missing the brain scrambling and I keep looking for pigs and tentacles. Go figure.” - Rayn63
Check out the rest of the SkyKnit-generated patterns, and the glorious rainbow of weird test-knits at SkyKnit: The Collection and InfiKnit.
There’s also a great article in the Atlantic that talks a bit more about the debugging.
If you feel so inspired (and don’t mind the kind-hearted yet vigorous swearing), join the conversation on the LSG Ravelry SkyKnit thread - many of SkyKnit’s creations have not yet been test-knit at all, and others transform with every new knitter’s interpretation. Compare notes, commiserate, and do SkyKnit’s inscrutable bidding!
Heck yeah there is bonus material this week. Have some neural net-generated knitting & crochet titles. Some of them are mixed with metal band names for added creepiness. Enter your email here to get more like these:
Chicken Shrug Snuggle Features Cartube Party Filled Booties Corm Fullenflops Womp Mittens Socks of Death Tomb of Sweater Shawl Ruins
i love this so much. knit nerds are the best
I cannot take credit for this pun but please consider
crowchet.
Prints available through Redbubble and Society6.
this is so cute
SO. I’m currently teaching myself how to crochet because I’ve always wanted to do it since I learned that a blanket that used to be my favorite was actually made by my grandmother. I finally got to the point where I said “fuck it, I’m tired of saying I want to do it and not doing shit to start.” So today when I was out buying things I needed like food and whatnot, I stopped by the craft section of Walmart and I picked up two different sized crochet hooks. I didn’t know which was better to start off with so I got a small one and a slightly bigger one. The bit that I have managed to crochet doesnt look too bad and took me, I don’t know, 15 minutes. All I did was find some detailed videos on YouTube and worked from there. It’s not perfect and i noticed some messed up stitches when holding it up to the light, but hey, that’s my first shot at this. I need advice though. So if anyone has any kind of advice on how to get started and work and make it look awesome, please give it to me! I take constructive criticism lol. But I think I just need to be pointed in the right direction with all this crocheting stuff. My ultimate goal is to be able to make blankets and make those pretty edges on them that I’ve watched some people do on YouTube. So thanks in advance for any advice and sorry for my rambling haha
Store
I'm thinking about starting an etsy store for things that I make just to make something. There wouldn't be any multiples of any product unless i actually felt like making multiples which is rare. But sometimes I wanna make stuff because it looks cool but I don't want to make it for me because I already have so much stuff. Would anyone buy anything?
look i know this is a bit niche, but I would die for the human who wrote this pattern description. maybe you won’t feel the same if you haven’t spent hours and hours reading knitting pattern blurbs by the designer or the designers hype person.
no link? how rude :O
Because I needed it, and you might too.
@propheticfire
Ok but ALL of this man’s patterns are described this way. It is GREAT and I love it. Makes me wanna knit a fucking plaid shawl thing. And I share his sentiments that are expressed on the plaid. I don’t make new patterns cause I want to I make them cause I’m stubborn and need a specific thing.
Many injured people are in need of blood after the horrific Las Vegas mass shooting. Here are some blood services that are currently taking in blood donations. 200+ people are injured so they’re gonna need a lot. Spread this around so Nevada citizens can know where to go if they wanna donate blood!