what am i writing

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[illusionwaltz]

How well do you see color?

I’m cry I scored 60, I feel blind

[batter666-deactivated20180822]

so everyone is aware, a lower score on this means a better score.

[thegaybeany]

I got a 30!!!!!!!! Yes!

[blinkingkills]

7, but i’m an art student so

[janey-doots]

2! 😮

[uwu-sebastianstan]

I got a 0 on it 🤧 I am so proud of myself

[youhavejamsonkpop]

You know what makes me sad?

The fact that people don’t believe that being a fan of a group can change your life for the better …. A group of people that you admire and even being away from you and even if you don’t know them personally can make your days more happy!

[uwu-sebastianstan]

updates

Hey guys, 

First off, I want to apologize for being MIA. I know that I promised I will post chapters during my California trip, but honestly - I was super busy. I had no time to write and I was never in the hotel. I tried to write during the time I got back, but I have been having major writer's block and I don’t want to give you guys a half-assed chapter. I also have just started school and I still have writer’s block. I am really sorry for not uploading and stuff, but please bear with me for a while - a lot of things are happening and I’m just trying to figure it out. 

Thank you guys for understanding! 

[futurist]

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes

[uwu-sebastianstan]

I don’t think you understand how much I love the OG Avengers. They are the reason why I got into Marvel.

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Jesus Christ.. never was first was so awesome.. love it.. Was it an one-part imagine ?

It was originally supposed to be a one shot, but so many people are asking for a second part, so I’m considering it!

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Honestly, I’m speechless.. the new chapters of photograph just made my whole night and probably the upcoming week tho. I love your writing so much, you’re doing so amazing!...

I am really glad that you are enjoying! I am glad that you think my writing is great! I am still developing in my skill and hope to continue to make you surprised!

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Awesome as always, honestly I hope Sebastian have an unique idea ya know 😂😂 to Conquer the world😂💛 I really love it. I'm a bit sad because the end is near (? But I'm excited about what is coming!! I'm pretty sure you're going to surprise us!

I too am sad that this series is ending, but I am excited for you guys to read what I have in store. I have ideas and I really hope you will enjoy them!! Thank you for supporting my writing. I really appreciate it.

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Photograph (ch vii)

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Inspired by @holland-stan-posts

Word Count: 1.2k+ words

Hanahaki Disease: victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings for their love also disappear.

~ ch vi

Click here to be added to the taglist!

     There were no words exchanged between him and I. I can tell he was trying to process everything that I just said – the same way I was trying to process it when the doctors explained it to me. Suddenly, he got up and started walking out towards the door. On reflex, I grabbed his wrist stopping him in his tracks. “Where are you going?” I asked him quietly. The glare he sent my way gave me chills to the bone. I reluctantly released his wrist and looked down at my hands that are now on my lap.

     “You purposely made me go through that disease,” he snapped at me. Looking up at him made me feel small. Anger was radiating off of him and it was starting to suffocate me in this room.

     “No! That wasn’t my intention at all,” I tried to explain to him. I got up and tried to grab his hand, but he just shook my hand off of his.

     “Then what was your intention? If you had an option to surgically remove it and not cause me any pain why did you take the pill?” he started to yell at me. Tears were starting to well up in my eyes, not out of sadness, but in rage. I was always a crier when I am mad.

     “Because I wanted to be selfish!” I yelled back at him. 

     “I didn’t want you to go through the same thing that I have gone, but I thought of my feelings for once in my life. The first time I made a decision without caring about someone else, but my health because you might not know, but I have suffered over a year loving you. I have gone through that disease longer than you. I’m sorry you had to experience it. I don’t want anyone to experience it, but I didn’t go through the surgery because I knew that I was going to be in pain. I would have to be careful with everything I do, with everything I eat. I don’t regret taking those pills because I was voided of emotions for a few weeks and those few weeks I actually got my life back together. I was more productive at work than I have ever been. I have stopped being picky about the foods I eat because I didn’t care if I was disgusted or not. I made that decision for myself because I am important. Because I need to know that I love myself and that I don’t need a person to love me even if I would like one.”

     Finally letting everything out, I grabbed my bag and phone that was on the table and walked pass Sebastian. Without looking back, I slammed the door shut. Once outside the hall, I saw Anthony and Chris. I knew that they were listening to our conversation. I soften my face and gave them a sad smile. “The Chinese food is inside. You guys go eat it with Sebastian, I think he needs someone right now. I’ll see you guys in the next shoot,” with that said, I turned around and headed towards the exit.

---

Sebastian P.O.V 

     The moment the door slammed closed - I was left alone in the room. I knew that I screwed up, but I didn’t have the heart to follow her. I shouldn’t have yelled at her but I did. Walking over to the spot on the couch she was earlier, I sat down and put my head in my hands. A groan escaped my lips the moment the door opened. Snapping my head up, I was disappointed to see Mackie and Evans. I just slumped back down on the couch. “Judging by your expression, you screwed up bad,” Anthony mocked with his arms crossed on his chest. I sent him a glare and he just rolled his eyes. “Don’t be glaring at me when you are the one yelling at the girl you love,” he snapped at me. 

     Our friendship was always playful inside and outside of work, so having a serious Anthony scold me took a new turn. I felt vulnerable towards the two males that are considered my close friends. “Do you feel like throwing up anymore?” Chris asked. Even when he is mad, he still cares for his friends. I shook my head in response. He nodded in understand. “So what is your plan?” 

     “I don’t know,” I mumbled in response.

     The two boys let out a sigh. No one likes seeing their close friends in distress. The two can both see how much pain the both are in. “First thing first, when did you find out you love her?” Anthony asked. Anthony started to open the Chinese food that (y/n) brought. I looked at him with a raised brow. “Don’t look at me like that. You know we just took an unofficial break from filming and I’m hungry so I’m going to eat will trying to figure out your problem,” he stated and then put a piece of orange chicken in his mouth. Evans chuckled next to him and decided to grab his own food. The tension in the room started to relax, so I decided to join them in their eating. It still hurts to eat since I just threw up a few minutes ago, but at least I am eating something.

     “I shouldn’t have yelled at her,” I stated.

     “Damn right you shouldn’t have,” Anthony said. Evans gave him a glare to calm down. “You should never yell at a female especially after everything she has been through.”

     I let out a sigh, “I know. I guess I was just enraged on why she didn’t do surgery to remove those branches out then take the pill.”

     “You have to look at it in her shoes Sebs. She has suffered through that disease for over a year now. She has been in pain for over a year. Anthony and I have only been with her for a like three months knowing her disease, but we even noticed how she was cautious in everything she did. She barely ate anymore so she opted for more protein drinks or blended drinks to stay healthy. I think she wanted to remove those branches as painless as it can be. Hell, we were even surprised when we heard her story through the door because she didn’t even tell us she was cured. All three of us thought that she has gone through the surgery,” Chris explained to me.

     I paid attention to every word he said. He was right. I shouldn’t have yelled at her, she was only doing something for herself and she barely does things for herself. She has always done so much for not only me but the whole Avengers cast. “What should I do?” I sounded so hopeless, but I was. I never understood what females feel. I don’t even understand my own feelings. My mind is still wondering how I fell in love with her, but my heart keeps beating longing for her. “Do you want a cheesy idea? Or do you want a unique idea?” Anthony asked. I just shook my head and smiled to myself. 

     “Anything to get me the girl.” 

~ ch viii

a/n: this is basically much a filler, but you know I’m always open to feedback. This series is coming to an end and I really don’t want it to, but I have another idea for another series so tune in for that upcoming series. Thank you to everyone who has been following my work and supporting me. I really appreciate all of you. 

Permanent Taglist:

@godohammers @itskatt- @brittanyovens @holland-stan-posts @sassyactorsandmanyfandoms @my-world-of-you @my-world97 @anxiouslyprocrastinating @marvelsavengersforever1227

Photograph Taglist:

@the-nargles-made-me-do-it @hadesgirl1015 @escapetheshackles @kiramotherofsnails @lordemjay  @quiessilva-meriff @crybbysarahjane @m4shtyx @ydmrflv @dogdadbucky @absmiles123 @bxxbxy @the-pastelpinkwitch @nevercameraready @followyourbucky  @somplxce @hobbitoburrito @c-ly-g @forgive-believe @deadmanwalked @dixonsunicorn @sebastanot  @suicidalsadisticschizoid @maddieisaacs

[uwu-sebastianstan]

I’m officially in love with your writing! About the end of photograph, just don’t break our hearts. I love it so much that I don’t want it to end ☹️♥️

I will do my best to not break any hearts. I don’t want the story to end either, but I personally feel like I have been prolonging this story. I’ll try and make sure to get a new series up right after this! My requests are also open if you have anything you want me to write!! 

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Taglist

Hey guys,

I made a link onto where you can add yourself to the taglist without sending me an ask! So just click this link and the instructions are on the document.  

[raleighansens-deactivated201710]

— Joe Russo

[frenchblondgirl]

Infinity War Bloopers

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Photograph (ch vi)

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Inspired by @holland-stan-posts

Word Count: 1.7k+ words

Hanahaki Disease: victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies. It can be cured through surgical removal, but when the infection is removed, the victim’s romantic feelings for their love also disappear.

~ ch v

Click here to be added to the taglist! 

     “Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Chris asks. I scoffed at his question.

    “You are the one that wants me to go through with this surgery. Now you are the one asking me if I still want to do it,” I snapped at him. His jaw clenched and he looked down at his hands. Feeling empathy towards him, I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me.” He shook his head and we made I contact.

    “You are right. Anthony and I are being selfish and we want you to go through this surgery because we care about you and don’t want to see you suffer anymore. You are a close friend of ours,” Chris explained. I knew that was the reason, but it still warmed my heart knowing that he cares for me. I took his hands into mine and gave it a kiss. 

    “You don’t understand how grateful I am for the two of you. I really am. Thank you for going through this with me. Where is Anthony anyway?” I asked. 

    “He has to shoot his scene today so he couldn’t make it, but he sends his regards,” he replied back. 

    “Don’t you have to film today yourself?” I raised a brow. He started to scratch the back of his neck nervously. I knew his answer right away. “You skipped out on filming with Anthony today didn’t you?” He chuckled only confirming my answer. “Chris, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’ll have the nurses call you when I am out of surgery alright, so go to your shooting. I don’t want the Russo brothers on my ass because you aren't there,” I instructed. Chris let out a defeated sigh. 

    “Fine, I’ll go, but make sure to tell the nurses to call us right away when you got out of surgery,” he instructed me to do. I rolled my eyes, “Yes dad.” Chris stood up from his chair and gave me a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll see you later kid. I’ll also remind Mackie to give your letter,” he said. That made me froze in my seat and I quickly grabbed his wrist when he turned around. I felt the petals start to rise up my throat again, but I swallowed it. 

    “Please don’t give him the letter,” I pleaded. He frowned at my statement. 

    “I know you are scared to tell him, but he has a right to know. He will be surprised when you come in for a shoot one day and not show any emotions. Hell, we don’t even know if you will be able to be a photographer anymore if you don’t feel any emotions,” he stated. I squeezed his wrist tighter. I knew that he was right because photographers are supposed to relay the beauty and the emotions of a picture, but I don’t want him to feel guilty for not loving me. “I’ll talk to Anthony and if we both agree to give it to him then we are giving it to him. I’m sorry (y/n), but he will need some type of closure.” His eyes were soft and I just nodded at his request. I knew there was no use fighting against him. Once I release him, he gave me a quick hug and was out the door. 

    It has been a few hours since Chris left. Within those hours, I kept vomiting petals right after Chris left, but after around an hour - I stopped throwing up blood covered petals. That is when the doctor decided to get an x-ray done. There was only beeping resounding in the white platonic room. I don’t know how long I stayed there, but it must have been a while until a doctor decided to enter the room. When he entered, I quickly sat up straight. “Hey doc,” I gave him a weary smile and he gave me a smile back. His smile was different though because it didn’t show any signs of sadness in it and that sparked curiosity in me. “So when am I getting the surgery doc?” 

    His back was turned away from me since he was looking at my chart on the wall. “You aren’t getting the surgery sweetheart,” he said. My head quickly snapped in his direction. 

    “What do you mean that I am not getting the surgery?” my voice rising in fear. This doctor is basically going to let me die on this bed with this stupid disease. He turned around to my distressed face and he let out a chuckle. “I don’t think this is a funny situation for you to be laughing at doc,” I snapped at him. The doctor then had a serious face the moment I said that. 

    “I’m sorry for being unprofessional just now. I just thought that you would be happy about the news of not doing the surgery,” he answered. 

    “Well, I would be happy about not doing the surgery if I didn’t have flower petals being thrown up from my mouth!” 

    He let out a sigh. “You haven’t been throwing up petals the past few hours have you?” he asked. I shook my head. “Did you ever feel like throwing up these past few hours?” I shook my head once again. The smile returned to his face. 

    “I’ll explain to you why you aren’t going through with the surgery Ms. (your last name). These are your final stages of the Hanahaki Disease, you should be throwing up petals nonstop and you have done that the first hour that Mr. Evans has left; however, when it started to reach close to the third hour of your waiting to be seen by a nurse - I am so sorry about that by the way, we were running low on staff today - you suddenly stopped exiling petals from your body. Those usually means that your feelings have finally been reciprocated.” 

    There was ringing going on in my ear. My mind cannot process what is happening right now. Sebastian is in love with me. Does that mean Chris and Anthony gave him the letter and he figured out that he loved me back? “I don’t understand though. That means I don’t have the Hanahaki Disease anymore?” He nodded in response. I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I let out the most broken sob ever. The doctor was just patting my back trying to soothe and calm me down. 

    “But we need to remove the branches from your throat or else it will cause you to stop breathing,” the doctor finally spoke again. “There are two ways to remove the branches, either we surgically remove it without touching the main seed in your stomach or you have to take this pill once a day that will slowly disintegrate the branches. If you decide to take the pill there are some side effects of extreme diarrhea and vomiting because your body is going to try to remove the disintegrated branches from your system. You would need to take the pill for now around two weeks and then you would have to come back in to see if all parts of the branches are gone.” 

    I understood where he is coming from and I really didn’t want to go through with the surgery or else I will be in pain for weeks and would have to be careful. “I would like to take the pill doc. Diarrhea and vomiting is something that I think I can handle for a few weeks, right?” I chuckled. The smile on his face dropped and that got me worried. 

    “I wish you picked to surgically remove it because there is one other side effect to taking the pill. Since the pill will be slowly burning the branches from your throat you will be voided from any emotions within those two weeks. It is like you have gone through the surgery, but your emotions will only be gone temporarily. This may cause your significant other to experience the Hanahaki Disease during those two weeks of you not showing any emotions.” 

    The explanation just ruined the plan of taking the pill, but I had to weight the pros and cons. I didn’t want to go through pain and soup for the next few weeks, but I also didn’t want Sebastian to go through the same thing that I went. Then I remembered Evans words on how I should be selfish and stop being selfless. Letting out a sigh, I told the doctor my decision. 

---

My eyes fluttered open and my senses came back. There was the constant beeping of the heart monitor. I started to move my body to sit up, but my movements were slow. Once I finally sat up, I rubbed my eyes to try and wake myself up. Then I heard a chuckle and my hands stopped rubbing my eyes and I removed it. I made contact with blue ones. I didn’t feel any emotions, but I did feel a tug in my heart. “Hey,” he greeted me. 

“Hi,” I replied back. 

“How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Do you want me to call the nurse to get you something to eat?” he asked. I just shook my head in response and silence fell before us. The beeping of the monitor continued to resonate around the room. “Do you…Do you feel any type of -” he stuttered. 

“Emotion,” I finished for him. I was trying to find the right words to say without hurting him because I knew the condition I was in. “I don’t feel like vomiting petals anymore and I believe I should be happy that you are here to visit me, but I can’t seem to evict any emotion out on my face or voice. I guess you could say that the surgery was a success.”

“I’m sorry,” he stated. Then he placed his head in his hands. I saw paper fall down to the floor from his lap, so I decided to pick it up. Once I picked it up, I opened it and saw my familiar handwriting. He then started to cough vigorously in front of me. I tried to feel anything towards him, but the pill stopped me from doing so. I wanted to comfort him, but I knew deep down that it will only hurt him more. Before I went back to sit on the hospital bed, I saw it. 

Yellow tulip petals. 

~ ch vii 

a/n: This story is coming to a close, so I really would like some feedback on how you guys want to see this mini-series end :D 

Permanent taglist (open):

@godohammers @itskatt- @brittanyovens @holland-stan-posts @sassyactorsandmanyfandoms @my-world-of-you @my-world97 @anxiouslyprocrastinating @not-sebastian-stan @your-pixels-are-showing

Photograph taglist (open):

@the-nargles-made-me-do-it @hadesgirl1015 @escapetheshackles @kiramotherofsnails @lordemjay  @quiessilva-meriff @crybbysarahjane @m4shtyx @ydmrflv @dogdadbucky @absmiles123 @bxxbxy @the-pastelpinkwitch @nevercameraready @followyourbucky  @somplxce @hobbitoburrito @c-ly-g @forgive-believe @deadmanwalked @dixonsunicorn  

[uwu-sebastianstan]

500 followers ~

I woke up this morning to 500 followers! I am honestly so grateful for those who have followed me and are interested in my writing. I never thought that people would like my writing, but here I am receiving love from everyone on my mini-series and one-shots and I love it. You are all important to me and I am always here if you guys need me. My messages are always open. I am not only a person who writes on this social media platform, but I am also here to be friends with you guys and to be there when you need someone. 

I love you guys 💕

[uwu-sebastianstan]

Whaaaat babe you are gorgeous!!! Us followers stan a model omg 💕you’ve got a beautiful smile love!!

I really hope my smile is nice 😅I really hoped the parent's money didn’t go to waste buying me braces to make them straight. Thank you guys for the lovely compliments. I really love you guys so much. 

[uwu-sebastianstan]

You are suuuper beautiful! And it doesnt matter that you are wearing makeup, because it only makes shine how beautiful you are without taking your natural beauty! Hope you have a great week sending love 💕

OOF! Thank you so much. That really warms my heart. I really hope you have an amazing week to. Sending all of my love to you 💚💖🧡💗❤️💕💖💚💝💞💖💖💗🧡💕💞💚💓💖❤️💘💙💚💜🧡💞💝❤️💗🖤💘💕💚💓💙🖤💚💞💝🧡💓🖤💞🧡💝❤️💖💙🖤🧡💘💚💓💚💝💞💞❤️💗💘💛💞💙💜💞

[uwu-sebastianstan]

you’re so pretty omg

Aw! Thank you, but tbh it is all the makeup hiding all my imperfections 😅