intro post except i barely use tumblr so i don't know if i'm doing anything right :3
i'm sammi, i'm 9teen, and i'm black. i don't use tumblr like that, not my preferred site/app. idk i have mixed feelings about some of the discussions that have stemmed from here. š¤·š½
i use all pronouns, my gender is the boov gender chart from up, but i also call myself a boygirl because it's fun.
i like kpop (nct, ateez, enhypen, cortis, boynextdoor, p1harmony, but i am a dedicated listener/old stan of tons of other groups), so um if you like kpop you should totally befriend me. unless you're a bg hater (though gg haters are lame too), a stray kids/all day project/kiss of life/big bang/super junior fan, or you dismiss cultural appropriation, um i think that's it
i like to draw (obviously), but i tend to create characters more. i like writing about diverse characters and creating pinterest boards for them, but i'm too lazy to do anything with my ocs other than that. if anyone wants to yap about ocs, again feel free to dm
i am a simmer, i love ts4 but i did delete it because it slowed down the family computer #rip
i spend most of my time on tiktok, pinterest (neoswagism), or YouTube. sometimes OCCASIONALLY i'm on instagram (pupdawgwoop) though it's mostly to see furry artists and kpop idols so..
i am a furry that would sell their soul for a fursuit, i like vampires, i want to be a vampire, i like boykissers, i don't shy away from nsfw topics or darker topics (but i'm not weird about it) #freak, i like nct fanfics :3, i like different genres of music (vkei, hyperpop, whatever tf xaviersobased and 2hollis got going on, khiphop, hiphop, rnb, jazz, some stuff under the alternative umbrella.. idk the proper labels and i'm not finna trigger somebody LMAO) #openminded, i like learning about queerness and weird identities that would qualify as chronically online, i like jfashion (gyaru/o, vkei, host fashion), i like dionysus the greek god, um i like making subliminals (follow my youtube @ neoswagrealness), and i like drawing duke thomas even though i don't read comics and idk shit about his character.
if anyone wants to like be my friend, don't hesitate to dm me i swear i'm cool </3
my dni criteria :
hazbin hotel fans, dsmp fans, people with typing quirks, fans of the kpop groups i mentioned before, addison rae fans, people that are "scared of black people", rap haters aka anyone that says "rap is too overstimulating" or "rap is only about violence", lesboy/transman lesbian haters, taylor swift fans, melanie martinez fans, BARBS.. i think that's all i got. i'm not gonna get triggered if you interact with me, i'll prob just ignore you
synopsis: wanting to try a new sexual route with your boyfriend but not knowing how to approach the situation drives you to beomgyuāyour best friend since the dawn of time, under the rule of what you call a buddy system.
warnings: sub!gyu, dumbification, basically infidelity but they donāt really fuck, butt plug
No matter what angle you look at it, itās weird. You wouldnāt even think of asking for a favor so indecent if it wasnātāwell if it wasnāt him. And maybe thatās the blaring problem.
āWhatāya thinking ābout?ā Beomgyu muffles, mouth stuffed. You quirk your lip, kicking him under the table. "Don't talk with food in your mouth idiot."
He immediately shuts his mouth, but doesn't miss the chance to retaliate and return the kick, only he aims poorly and hits the table leg instead.
You snort, suddenly hit with a wave of nostalgia. It takes you right back to when your biggest problem was hiding a bad report card from your then-overbearing parents and trying to find knock-off drug store products to cover your gross pimples.
A simpler time when all you saw was your best friend across from you, wedged into the booth at Shake N Shack, stuffing his mouth with fries, sauce on the edge of his lips as he rants about some latest absurd conspiracy theory he had stumbled upon online.
āSo?ā he pulls you out of your reverie, looking up at you once heās finished chewing. His eyes dart nervously between you and his plate as he swallows the last bite when you keep silent. āWhyāre you really here? You havenāt been around much lately.ā
You scoff, crossing your arms defensively. "I can't just visit you for old times' sake?"
He exaggeratedly winces. "Damn, already demoted to a nostalgia trip?ā
You sigh, feeling a pang of guilt despite the lightheartedness in his tone.
You know Beomgyuā like the back of your hand, like the way your favorite song plays in your mind, you know how he hurts and how he likes to cover it up. Ever since you started dating Youngjae, youāve completely abandoned him, and so his words hit harder than they should.
āYou know what I mean,ā you mumble weakly.
āDo I?ā he replies, tilting his head. āLast I checked, people donāt usually show up at someoneās door at ten-thirty PM during a thunderstorm just to reminisce for āold times sakeā. Are you here to drop some kind of plot twist on me? Did you kill someone? Is this an alibi visit?ā
You let out a frustrated groanāleave it to Beomgyu to be as annoying as humanely possible as you try to get him to forgive you for your sins. "No, I didn't kill anyone. I justā¦Iāve been caught up with y'know like...everything and-ā
You pause, glancing at your feet as you try to find the right words, the ones that make this moment make sense. Youād gone over this moment in your head a thousand times, but now, in front of him, it all seems so much harder to say.
āAnd?ā he prompts.
āAnd in the middle of all the stupid exams and projects, I had this epiphany. Like, holy crap, when was the last time I actually saw my best friend? The one person who gets all my dumb jokes, who knows all my weird habits, and somehow still puts up with me.ā
His face visibily softens and he nods slowly, picking at the crumbs on his plate. "Epiphany took a long ass time.ā
You smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. Without thinking, you stand up from your seat and walk over to him. He looks up just in time for you to wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. It only takes him a moment before he completely melts into the embrace, his arms circling your waist. āI missed you, you dork,ā you whisper into his hair.
He leans into you, seemingly satisfied. āThatās all I get?ā he mumbles, his voice muffled against your shoulder, but thereās no mistaking the smile in his words. āA quick hug after youāve been ignoring your best friend for, like, forever?ā
āYouāll get a little present later, besides you love me too much to stay mad.ā
He nestles his head against you, his grip around your waist tightening just a bit. āYeah, I really do.ā he murmurs.
The Buddy System.
You donāt know if that rollercoaster is any good? The Buddy System. Beomgyu can go on it and tell you if he thinks itās possible for you to ride without throwing up right after. Beomgyuās feeling squeamish over that plate of food? The Buddy Systemā youāll try it out for him and accurately determine whether itās gyu-gestable or ā¦not. Years of practice has had you know exactly what his picky habits can allow him to consume.
Those are the more normal instances youāve used it, there were other peculiar times like when Beomgyu asked you to test out the temperature of his bathwaterāwith your elbow, like you were checking a babyās bath. He stood there, fully clothed, watching you as you leaned over the tub, dipping your elbow into the water with the seriousness of a professional thermometer. āToo hot,ā youād say, adjusting the faucet until he gave a nod of approval.
Actually, now that youāre really going over every instance youāve used it, you think all of the weird ones were Beomgyuās doing.
Like the time when it was the summer of senior year, the last summer before you went off to college, Beomgyu had recurring nightmares and was convinced that if you fell asleep holding his hand, youād somehow end up in his dream and could āfix itā from the inside. You tried to explain that dreams didnāt work that way, but he wouldnāt budge. So, there you were, two grown teenagers, lying in a dark room, hands clasped like some kind of paranormal experiment. It didnāt work, of course, but Beomgyu insisted he slept better knowing you were āon the job.ā
So thereforeā¦asking this of him would justā¦even it out, right? Right?
Beomgyu sits up abruptly, causing the carefully arranged pillows to collapse around him, and a few stuffed animals to topple over onto his lap. His eyes are wide, and his voice cracks as he practically yelps, "What?"
Holy shit, who are you kidding.
āThis was the little present?ā
You shift uncomfortably in the small, now even more cramped space, suddenly wishing you could burrow into the pile of blankets and disappear. āItās weird, I know, like really weird and itās okay if you donāt want to. I just thoughtāā
You take a deep breath. āI justāI want to try it with him andāI donāt know, maybe it wonāt feel good and-"
āYou thought Iād be the one toāā he waves the box around, his voice higher than usual, āāto test this out for you?ā
āI mean, buddy system, right?ā you offer weakly, your confidence crumbling completely. āWeāve done other things for each otherā¦ not like this, butā¦ā your voice trails off as you fidget with the edge of the blanket beneath you.
Beomgyu just blinks at you. And in the long, awkward silence that follows you realize how absurd your request sounds. Hey, can you try out this butt plug for me because my faith in this relationship with my boyfriend is so fragile Iām afraid I might ruin it completely by doing the normal thing of suggesting and exploring different ways of pleasuring each other? Donāt forget that itās a butt plug! Iām asking you to insert something up in your ass. Up your ass.
The fairy lights cast soft shadows on his faceāheās staring at you, but youāre too caught up in your embarrassment to notice the way his gaze lingers just a little too long, or how eventually, his expression softens.
Before he can stop himself, he blurts out, āDoes he know youāre here?ā
You freeze, caught off guard. āWho?ā
āYour boyfriend,ā he says, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. āDoes he know youāre here? With me?ā
āUh, noā¦ he doesnāt,ā you admit, shifting uncomfortably again. āI mean, itās late, and I just wanted to see you. Itās not a big deal, right?ā
Beomgyu swallows hard, his gaze dropping to the stuffed bear in his lap, which seems to be staring back at him with wide, unblinking eyes. āYeahā¦ right. No big deal.ā
The silence stretches on, thick and awkward, until finally, he lets out a long, exaggerated sigh. āOkay,ā he resigns. āThis is, hands down, the weirdest thing youāve ever asked me to do, butā¦ yeah, okay. Iāll do it.ā
You blink again, not expecting him to actually agree. āWait, seriously?ā A huge smile breaks across your face as you lean forward, your excitement palpable. āI canāt believe youāre actually saying yes! Oh my god, Gyu, thank you! I thought for sure you were going to think I was crazy andāā
But then, almost as quickly as your excitement flared up, it dims slightly, and you glance at him with a more serious expression. The guiltās creeping up. āYou know you donāt have to do this, right? Itās been a while since weāve hung out and I mean, I donāt want you to feel like Iām forcing you or anythingāā
"Are you holding a gun to my head?ā
āNo, but-"
āThen Iām fine,ā he says, though his voice softens as he adds, āSeriously, itās okay. Iāll do it. Who cares.ā
You pout looking at your best friend because for the millionth time in your life, you feel that familiar warmth in your chest at the reassurance that no matter what, Beomgyuās always there to back you up.
āYouāre the best, Gyu. You donāt even know it yet, but youāll probably be responsible for our wedding,ā you say, sighing dreamily, āIāll make sure to shout you out.ā
Suddenly, his expression changes. He frowns deeply, and before you can process it, he grabs the nearest plushieāa soft, squishy bearāand hurls it at you with a grumble. āYeah, letās not get ahead of ourselves.ā
Your mouth falls open at the bear hitting you square in the chest. The audacity! But before you can even think about launching a counterattack, Beomgyu is already on the move.
In one swift motion, he snatches up the pink box, waving it above his head like a white flag of retreat, quickly scrambling out of the fort, the pillows and blankets collapsing behind him in his rush to escape.
You take back everything nice youāve thought of him thirty seconds ago.
Beomgyuās cheeks are a bit pink when he comes back twenty minutes later, and you notice it when you look up from your phone, where youāve been meticulously studying the appās settings. He looks uncharacteristically bashful, avoiding your gaze as he settles back in with youā the fort looking almost as good as it did before Beomgyu nuked it and ran away.
āDid you put it in?ā you ask, trying to gauge his reaction.
He glances at you briefly before quickly looking away, the blush on his cheeks deepening. "Yup. Lubed it up pretty well."
You raise an eyebrow, skeptical. "Did you really, or are you fucking with me?"
Beomgyu's response is immediate, and a little too defensive. "Do you want me to show you my asshole or something? I have it in!"
"God, okay!" you say in exasperation, throwing your hands up in mock surrender.
Your mood takes a complete flip as you grin wickedly, wiggling your phone, the app open and ready. "So... ready for the fun part?"
His eyes widen slightly, and you catch the way his breath hitches as he realizes what you mean. His cheeks flush even more as he swallows hard. "Wait, you're not actually gonnaā¦ā
There isnāt any incentive for him to lie but you still donāt fully believe him. Youāve heard that first times have guys struggling a little, heād be a lot more fidgety than he is now. You narrow your eyes as you glance from your phone to his face, experimentally turning up the setting to its highest volume, just to see if he's really telling the truth.
The reaction is immediate. Beomgyu's eyes widen in shock, and blood rushes to his cheeks, turning him a deep shade of red. His whole body tenses as he grips the blanket beneath him, his breath hitching.
"Hey! Turn it down! Itāit-fuck!" he stammers, his voice strained and breathy as he squirms in place.
You quickly dial back the intensity, watching as he takes a few deep breaths, trying to recover. You didn't mean to push him that far, but now there's no doubt in your mind that he wasn't lying. He really did go through with it.
"I didn't think it'd be that intense," you say, genuinely concerned. "Are you okay?"
He hangs his head low, nodding.
You can't help but giggle at his reaction, though you feel a little guilty for pushing him so hard. "Sorry, I just had to make sure."
He gives you a look that's somewhere between a pout and a glare, still clearly embarrassed. "Well, now you know. It's definitely in, and it's definitely working."
You ruffle his head. "Alright, I won't push it any further. Just let me know when it's too much, okay?"
Beomgyu groans, his voice dropping a little, betraying a note of something more than just embarrassment. "Why do I let you talk me into these things?" he mumbles, mostly to himself.
You ignore him, grinning as you observe him, slowly turning up the vibrations to a slow, steady hum. āNotes? How does it feel?ā
Beomgyu stiffens, his eyes widening as the first wave of vibrations hits him. "Oh... my god," he squeaks, his voice shaky and a bit breathless. "This is... this is so weird."
You narrow your eyes. āBad weird or good weird?ā
He looks at you, his bottom lip jutted out into a pout, as if heās not quite sure how to articulate what heās feeling. āItās justā¦ weird, okay? Full. Like, not bad butā¦ not normal either. Itāsā¦ itās likeāugh, why are you making me explain this?ā
You fold your arms, deciding to push him a little more to get the information that you actually want. āIs it, like, āI can get used to thisā weird, or āplease stop this right nowā weird?ā
Beomgyu huffs, clearly flustered. āI donāt know! Itāsā¦ kind of both? Likeā¦ itās weird, but maybe kind of good? I donāt know!ā Heās squirming now, obviously uncomfortable but not entirely hating it either.
āSoā¦youāre saying youāre into it?ā you tease, leaning in closer with a mischievous grin, wiggling your brows playfully.
The words slip out before you can fully think them through, the playful energy between you both making it easy to forget the boundaries that normally exist. Especially considering that you have a boyfriend of seven months waiting at home.
Youāre too far gone to care.
His eyes widen even more, his blush deepening as he quickly shakes his head, shuffling away from you a bit. āN-no! I meanā¦ not like that, I justāā His voice trails off, and he swallows hard, clearly struggling to find the right words.
You bite your lip, gradually increasing the intensity, curious. His expression tightens, and a soft, involuntary moan escapes his lips before he can stop it.
"Okay, okay, that's... that's enough!" he says, his voice a mix of panic and something more, his breathing coming out in quick, uneven gasps as he clearly tries to hold himself together.
Interesting.
A slow smirk spreads across your face, āJust a little more,ā you coax. āYouāre doing great.ā
āFuck, stop teasing me!ā he whines, but his voice is breathier now, and there's a definite edge of something more in the way he looks at you, his pupils slightly dilated.
You watch him, the way he tries to keep his mouth in a thin line, a faƧade that crumbles the moment you notice the way his left leg shakesā youāre intrigued. You've never seen him like thisāso vulnerable, so out of controlāand it's both unsettling and fascinating. If thereās a possibility this is exactly how your boyfriend would act with something up his ass, youād spend hundreds on a collection.
You clear your throat, realizing its been silent for too long. āSo?ā
Heās fast to catch on. āIāI donāt hate it. I think itās hitting my prostāholy shit, d-did you just turn it up again?ā
You hesitate, your gaze shifting away from his. āNoā¦ā you mumble, the lie unconvincing even to your own ears. The accusatory stare he gives you is impossible to ignore, burning through your feigned innocence.
Eventually, you give in, sighing in defeat. āAlright, only to a different rhythm. Is it worse? Should Iāā
You pause abruptly when you see his reaction. Beomgyuās eyes tightly screw shut, his jaw clenching and for a moment, you worry that youāve pushed too far, that this time youāve actually overstepped. But then he lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly.
āIf it was worse, you would be pure evil but uhāno, no, itās okay. Itāsā¦ better.ā
You canāt let the genuine relief washing over you run its full course because you feel a spark of something more exciting running down your spine. You gulpā the hot, stuffiness of the fort becomes increasingly unbearable by the minute. āBetter?ā
He nods, though his movements are slow, deliberate, like he's testing the waters before fully committing to his answer. "Yeah... better," he repeats, his voice more certain this time. His eyes flutter open, and a cute, determined face replaces the more bashful Beomgyu you were getting pretty comfortable playing with.
For the second time tonight, an awkward silence overtakes you both and he leans back against the pillows, fiddling nervously with the drawstrings of his hoodie, his fingers picking at the fabric as if trying to find some distraction.
The silence stretches on until suddenly, Beomgyu moves. Without warning, he starts to pull at the hem of his hoodie, yanking it up and over his head in one swift motion.
āWhoa, whoa, whatāre you doing?ā you blurt out as you watch him toss his hoodie to the side, leaving him in just a thin undershirt. Youāre completely caught off guard, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him, the sight of his flushed skin and tousled hair making your heart, for the first time, race.
For ā¦Beomgyu.
He looks back at you, sheepish. āItās hot,ā he says simply.
You blink, still processing. āYeah, butā¦ā you trail off, realizing you donāt really have an argument. The airās pretty darn thick and stifling.
āOkay, fair enough,ā you say finally, trying to play it off with a casual shrug. āI mean, it is pretty warm in here.ā
āā¦Right.ā
Youāre acting weird. Even Beomgyuās noticing. Youāre losing the upper hand.
āUh, th-thereās another setting,ā you stammer, quickly looking down at your phone in your hand, avoiding his gaze. āWanna try it out? To see which one feels better.ā
He hums in approval, his response casual, almost nonchalant, like he's confident nothing can catch him off guard.
But that confidence doesnāt last long.
The second you make the switch, his body jolts, a gasp slipping out before he can stop it. āHowā¦how is it?ā you ask anyway.
Beomgyuās response is more of a whimper than anything else, his lips parting as he struggles to form coherent words. āItāsā¦oh godā¦itāsā" His voice catches in his throat, and it happens again. Loud and unrestrained. This time, itās unmistakable.
Beomgyu's eyes widen in horror as the sound leaves his lips, his hand flying up to clap over his mouth in a desperate attempt to stifle any more noises. His cheeks flush a deep, burning red, and you can see the sheer embarrassment etched into his expression as he tries to hide his face, mortified by his own reaction.
You didnāt plan this. Not at all. But you cannot for the life of you even get yourself to feel an ounce of guilt for the way your underwear uncomfortably sticks to your heat.
Your gaze drops lower, and there it is-the clear strain in his pants, āUhā¦Gyuā¦?ā you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as your eyes flicker back up to his face.
Your mind is spinning, caught between disbelief and the sudden rush of arousal that floods right to your lower abdomen.
Beomgyu doesn't respond immediately. He's too busy fighting his own body, his breaths coming in shallow, rapid gasps as he tries to regain some semblance of control. His hand remains firmly over his mouth, his eyes squeezed shut as if he's trying to will himself to disappear, to erase the moment that just happened.
It's overly dramatic, of course-classic Beomgyu, always a tinge extra when he's overwhelmed. But instead of finding it annoying like you might have at any other time, it strikes you as incrediblyā¦endearing.
The way his reactions are so genuine, so unguarded, makes him seem almost innocent in a way that tugs at your heart. He looks like a confused, flustered puppy than anything else.
The way he's covering his mouth, is almost comical in its futility-especially when another small, muffled whimper slips past his fingers. āBeomgyu,ā you call out, your voice soft but insistent. āI need you to look at me.ā
"I-I can'tā" he stammers, his voice barely above a whisper as he tries to form coherent thoughts. "This is... it's t-too much..."
You tilt your head, āDo you want me to turn it off?ā
āNo! Just... I don't know..." he breathes out, his voice strained, as if he's not entirely sure what he's asking for. āPlease.ā
Something stirs within you, and before you know it, youāre moving closer to him, reaching out your hand to rest on his armāyou think itād help comfort him. But he only takes that opportunity to bury his head in your neck a few seconds later.
Your heart pounds in your chest but you try to not give it any more attention. Youāre supposed to be here for your friend.
āYouāre doing so well, Beom,ā you whisper, your voice steady and reassuring as you gently rub his arm. āYou donāt have to be embarrassed. Itās just us hereāyou can let go. Itās just me.ā
A soft, almost cute whimper escapes him as he nods against you, his breath warm against your skin.
Beomgyu's eyes flutter shut, and you can tell your words are having an effect on him, his resolve crumbling with each passing second, the twitch in his pants making it clear heās barely holding on. āItās okay,ā you reassure.
Maybe itās not. But you technically werenāt doing anything physicalāitās not wrong on your behalf, right? But as you rub your thighs subtly, trying to relieve something, that guilt is just as incessant.
You watch the way Beomgyuās hand movesāhesitantly at first, as if he's not sure what he's doing or if he should even be doing it. But then he turns his head up to look at you, and youāre once again, caught off guard. His eyes look like theyāre searching for something, focus shifting from one place to another. And youāre left feeling like youāre under a microscope, until it seems like he found what heās looking for because his fingers finally brush against the waistband of his pants.
āAre youāare you sure this is okay?ā he asks softly. And you nod. Almost too fast.
Maybe you should close your eyes. If not for the respect of the relationship that youāve completely forgotten of once you had Beomgyu in your arms, at least for your best friendās pride.
Actually, you donāt think he minds. If the strangled groan that comes out his pretty lips were anything to go by. He fumbles for his hard, aching cock, flinging it out and stroking it furiously almost the second he gets his hands on it and your eyes only manage to widen at the sight.
For lack of better words, you gawk.
āItās not disappointing or anything, huh?ā he tries to joke, but his breaths too strung out, too gone for even that.
Your mouth dries. Far from it.
This is the one time your boyfriend comes to mind in a while, and its not favorable. Beomgyuās not biggerāheās not small either, but thatās not your focusārather the pearly bead that bubbles atop of the tiny slit, the head a deep pink, the way its veins pulses as his pace falters at your silence. That small bead of fluid oozing down his shaft, tracing the lines of the delicate veins. The curves, every little detail. Heās perfect. More perfect than youāve ever seen.
It seems you took way too long for Beomgyuās liking and self confidence so he looks elsewhere, āIsā¦it?ā
You blink, almost forgetting your predicament, lost in your admiration of him. "No, no, of course not. It'sāit's pretty," you reply, your words tumbling out in a rush as you try to reassure him.
But instead of calming him, your words have the opposite effect. His shoulders shake, and suddenly, he's burying himself back into your shoulder, his hand completely abandoning his cock. "H-hahh-" he pants, his breath hitching as he begins to hiccup, overwhelmed by his emotions.
āAre youāare you crying?ā
āYou just called my dick pretty,ā he seems to sob a bit more at that, soaking your shirt, feeling the dampness spreading across your chest. āYou hate it. It looks bad.ā
You're at a loss for words, completely thrown by his reaction. You struggle to pry him off you, your hands gently but firmly gripping his shoulders as you try to pull back just enough to look him in the face. "What?! No!" you exclaim, your voice rising with urgency. "Pretty means pretty. Fuck, don't cry, it's perfect, Beomgyu. It looks perfect, I swear."
His hiccups slow as your words sink in, and you can see the tension in his shoulders begin to ease. He sniffles softly, wiping at his tears with the back of his hand, his breathing gradually becoming steadier. As the emotional intensity lessens gradually, you with no control of your own, redirect your attention to his poor cock. Itās rock hard. He looks like he needs some soothing so you think to do the sensible thing. Theā¦right thing?
Beomgyu lets out a small, shaky laugh, trying to lighten the mood despite everything that's just happened. "Man... I think this plugās really messed with my vulnerability or something," he jokes weakly, his voice still wavering as he tries to regain his composure. āHad me crying pretty fasā"
His rant pauses at a hilt. He meets your gaze as you fully wrap your hand around his shaft after he just witnessed you quickly spit on your palm.
He doesnāt question it. At all. In fact, the moment your handās on him, thereās no hesitation in the way he spreads his legs wider, his pants responsively moving down to pool around his ankles.
A soft, whiny sound escapes him, and he leans into your touch, his eyes drooping, face contorting cutely. āO-ohā¦Iā¦I..ā
āShhh, I got you pretty,ā you whisper. His cockās soft to the touch, and wet. When you glide your hand up and down, even slowly, it makes an unpleasantly wet, dirty sound.
Heās very reactive to the endearing nickname that feels almost too natural slipping out of your lips of all people. āP-pretty..ā he repeats, sighing, almost dazedly. A complete goner.
You squeeze him and he lets out another needy, low moan and wraps his arms around your waist. Your heart pounds at how clingy he is, it feels like itās about to burst. "Ahhh...f-fuckā¦ā He moans against your neck, a highly pitched sound only a woman could make, feeling a trail of saliva traveling down from the corner of his mouth.
You almost cum untouched at the sight of him, at the pretty, almost perfectly described as heavenly sinful sounds heās making. A sheen of sweat has formed on his forehead, his hair damp at the edges, and it somehow makes him look better.
His body tenses beneath your touch, you can feel the warmth of his skin, the sweat slicking his brow, and the way his breath catches in his throat. Then, suddenly, he lets out a choked cry, his voice breaking as he bucks his hips just slightly. The movement is involuntary, desperate, as if his body is moving on its own, seeking out the final bit of friction it needs.
And then it happens.
Beomgyu gasps sharply, his body going rigid as he reaches his peak. He shudders violently, his chest heaving as he shoots strings of his load, the warm, sticky fluid spilling out. You react quickly, instinctively guiding the release towards him, watching as it lands all over his tummy and a bit on his chest.
You're struck by how quickly it happenedāhow you'd only had him in your hand for a few seconds before he came. His chest heaves, his breathing ragged and uneven as he slowly comes down from the high.
For a moment, there's nothing but the sound of his breathing, the soft rise and fall of his chest as he tries to steady himself.
Finally, he looks down at the mess on his stomach and chest, a soft, almost sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
And for whatever reason, that has an effect on you. He looks so endearing in this momentāhis lips slightly parted, his lashes brushing against his flushed skin, his hair perfectly tousled and falling over his eyesā
You're completely lost in the sight of him, practically mesmerized by how perfect he looks and your mind starts to drift until suddenly his voice breaks through your thoughts.
"Did you hear me?" he asks. "Doofus, turn it off. It's starting to make my asshole sore."
Your romantic daze shatters like glass.
Blinking rapidly, your face transforms into a shocked scowl, the absurdity of the situation hitting you all at once. "Wait, what?" you stammer.
Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at you, clearly expecting a response. But as the moment stretches on, your brain lags behind as you try to process what he just said.
Then it clicks.
"Oh, right!" you gasp, fumbling with your phone as you quickly find the app and turn off the plug, mortification creeping up your spine. What an absolute bust.
a/n: well well well. in the first draft he was made to eat his own cum but i felt maybe this fic wasnt the one for thatšš Unfortunately for some, fortunate for othersš¤ anyway tell me how u enjoyed beomgyu getting his ass stimulated in a poorly made fort lol
I hate you epitome of innocence being represented with blonde hair I hate you lightness representing goodness I hate you "angelic features" automatically being read as blonde hair and blue eyed with pale skin I hate you whiteness as the default for morality I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
this post isnt about blondes and how its so unfair to them that theyre always viewed as good healthy holy morally upright outstanding people no matter what this post is about racism its about colorism its about white supremacy making people with dark features and skin literally feel evil. this is not about your stupid disney princesses or achilles or your fave anime boys being allowed to be unhinged feral shitty awful people and this sure as hell is not an opportunity for blonde people themselves to show their entire pasty flat asses and beg praise for "breaking the stereotype" by being shitty unhinged people. fandom people you are 192% of the problem. white people in general you are 1,000% the origin of the problem. this site is so unbearably white my GOD
i am. so sorry if i have ever used the phrase āi have an au whereāā and led you to believe that there is an actual fic out there for you to read rather than, at best, a post where i explain the concept, and at worst it is simply something that lives in my brain
i wish more people were capable of understanding that a characterās race actually does impact things you can say about them and thatās a normal thing to take into consideration to avoid perpetuating racist stereotypes. and that if you jump on here headcanoning a black character as psychopathic and engaging in criminal behaviour when they have never canonically done so then maybe you ought to look inwardly instead of doubling down and insisting you basically forgot that the only black character of said family was black. now you look racist and stupid
When re-reading Cursed Wheel, I was struck by this exchange. Suspicions around Bruce's motive for taking in Duke is a running thread in their relationship, but what fascinates me about this moment is that Duke is using this suspicion against Bruce. He knows Bruce will be hurt by this accusation. More than hurt - Bruce's "maybe" suggests uncertainty, a lack of faith in himself. In this exchange, Duke and Bruce are both uncertain of what they mean to each other, and both troubled by that uncertainty.
This uncertainty runs throughout their time together. I'm going to try to track Bruce & Duke's dynamic through the years; basically, this post collects my disparate Bruce-Duke thoughts from my full Duke read. So warning that this is a LONG post.
I will probably contradict takes I've had in the past but you live and you learn š. Also the Bruce-Duke dynamic shifts a lot so this is not definitive or 100% correct - lots of these moments can be interpreted differently! But with all that said, let's jump into Zero Year!
The Beginning
Duke and Bruce first meet during the disaster called Zero Year, where Riddler blacks out and floods Gotham:
Batman (2011) #21
At its core, Zero Year and Endgame are about Bruce's relationship to Gotham. Duke says "He thinks you're dead[...] ever since he killed the city." Batman's death becomes intertwined with the city's death; in the reverse way, Duke in Bruce's mind will become intertwined with Gotham. This exchange sets up their relationship as reciprocal: Bruce gives Duke his fish, and Duke gives Bruce information. From the beginning, they have equal need for each other.
Batman (2011) #30
After Duke's parents rescue Bruce, Bruce tries to persuade Duke to leave Gotham. Duke replies: "No. We're here." Duke's decision to stay in Gotham directly influences Bruce to stay as well - here, we begin to see Bruce linking Duke to the city. This issue establishes that their relationship in some ways revolves around the city itself.
Batman (2011) #38
Then, Joker arranges for Duke and his parents to star in a re-enactment of the Wayne murders. Bruce manages to rescue Duke only, and then Bruce asks Duke to help him find a first aid kit for Jim. This scene parallels their first meeting in #21 (see the fish panel above!), with one handing something to the other. Their positions are flipped: this time it's Duke handing something to Bruce. The flipping nods to the 'reciprocity' aspect, and also to the way they parallel and will continue to parallel each other (particularly in Snyder's writing).
But this is also the first moment of genuine connection between the two of them! Bruce asks Duke to be a "friend," and they fist bump. Nowhere near familial, but a bit more intimate - this intimacy is more on Bruce's side than Duke's though. Duke still sees Bruce as primarily Batman, but Batman begins to think about Duke as an individual. This one-sided growing intimacy is a core tenet of their dynamic.
Symbols and People
Let's address this 'one-sided intimacy'. To Duke, Bruce is Batman first and foremost, and he criticises Bruce whenever he's not:
Batman (2011) #47
To Duke, Bruce is just anybody, but Batman? That symbol "inspire[s]" people, and "no one could be [Batman] but you!" His faith in Bruce is entirely tied to the Bat symbol. Concurrently with his growing understanding of the Robin symbol in We Are Robin, a large part of Duke's early story is about symbols as markers of community and hope. He prioritises Batman's relationship to the city over any relationship he personally could have with Bruce.
Bruce's view of their relationship has shades of this too. He tends to describe Duke in terms of his effect on the city:
From Batman & The Signal #3 and Batman: The Secret Files: The Signal respectively, both of these are about Duke's potential to benefit Gotham. The latter in particular shows Bruce idealising Duke as the 'perfect' Gothamite, a "represent[ation]" of the city's best.
This kind of idolisation skates close to early Bruce-Cass, particularly the idea of Duke being the 'best' (analogous to Bruce calling Cass 'perfect'). But Bruce does not go as far as he did with Cass. Other Duke fans have said this, but in a lot of ways Bruce is actively trying not to fall into previous parenting/mentoring failures. So he tamps down this symbolisation with lines about Duke as a specific person:
Batman & The Signal #1
"Something independent of the past, and... of me." The wording here is so careful, so constructed to highlight Duke's agency and to separate Duke from Bruce's previous relationships. Bruce also separates Duke from himself, avoiding the projection that was characteristic of, yet again, early Bruce-Cass. I'm Cass-brained so I'm mostly using Cass but these pitfalls occur for his other kids as well. Bruce does see Duke as a symbol of Gotham/hope, but he also knows the importance of seeing Duke as an individual with agency.
Bruce's struggles drive him to differentiate Duke from the other Robins, to cover him in bats but allow him to work during the day, to constantly show how important Duke is to him personally but only verbally acknowledge Duke's importance to Gotham. He ends up simultaneously pulling Duke into the family (offering him the manor, giving him a Batsuit, working alongside him in All-Star) and accepting Duke's distance (allowing him to work in the daytime, giving him his own cave, putting him on the Outsiders).
And Duke, being the detective he is, notices.
Insecurity
A ton of Duke stories feature people telling Duke he doesn't fit/shouldn't be here:
Dark Nights: Death Metal Robin King // Cursed Wheel Part 2 // Cursed Wheel Part 6 // Detective Comics (2016) 983
Duke brushes some of these instances, but he does internalise some of it. See Batman and the Signal #1 and Cursed Wheel Part 6:
Duke's insecurities are not about Bruce alone. They're about being unable to find community, represented by the Batfam in both cases. But Bruce is a huge factor in the insecurity, and the Cursed Wheel panel in particular is so evocative for me. The way Duke frames it - "They found a way inside with you" - suggests that Duke is expecting Bruce to help him. He doesn't want Bruce's approval, but he does need Bruce to help him through this, in the reciprocal way they've always helped each other.
But I think Bruce's struggle to define what Duke means to him, as I outlined above, is part of why Duke feels Bruce isn't helping him. Duke begins to question Bruce's motives in taking him in:
Batman and the Signal #2 // Dark Days: The Casting
Bruce shuts it down every time (including in Cursed Wheel Part 6), but it doesn't really make Duke feel better. "I chose you because of who you are / I only wanted to be there when you decided what you were going to become." Bruce consistently highlights Duke's agency/individuality as the reason he took him in, but it just doesn't jibe with what actually happens - not Bruce giving him two suits, putting the bat on him, etc. And Duke sees that inconsistency, so anytime Bruce pulls out an 'it's just because you're cool Duke,' it doesn't ring true. They both know that's not Bruce's entire motive.
That brings me to the panel I opened this post with. Duke questions whether Bruce took him in for self-serving reasons, and Bruce pauses before saying "maybe." Duke hits on the reason for Bruce's inconsistent behaviour - Bruce himself is uncertain about his motives for taking Duke in, and afraid they are selfish. This uncertainty in turn sows insecurity in Duke, because he values and desires transparency. As long as Bruce is unsure about why he took Duke in, Duke cannot be fully comfortable in his position in the Batfam.
Parenthood
But what's the root of Bruce's uncertainty? Right before the Cursed Wheel argument, Bruce suggests moving Elaine and Doug away. What Duke says - 'maybe you took me in out of guilt' - is a paraphrase of what a Jokerised Elaine told him earlier. This argument, and Bruce's uncertainty, revolves around Duke's parents.
Bruce is kind of the reason anything happens to Duke's parents anyway (since Joker mimics the Wayne murders), but Bruce also promises Duke everything will be alright:
Batman (2011) #38
Duke doesn't blame Bruce for what happened to his parents or his inaction on finding them - he calls Bruce's amnesia 'selfish', but it's more a general critique than a personal one. But I think Bruce does blame himself for failing to keep his promise. I'm extrapolating a lot because we don't really see any of Bruce's feelings, but thinking of his reaction to Duke's mom's absence in Batman: Urban Legends #18:
Jefferson says Duke is going to make a mistake that he'll "never forgive himself" for, but they "owe [Duke] more than that". This is pure extrapolation but I like to read this as touching on Bruce's guilt for never having found Duke's parents earlier, something he'll never forgive himself for. He owes Duke, which is why he becomes hell bent on finding Elaine when she goes missing again. But if he's guilty at this point, then the guilt could have run through their entire relationship.
Which makes things so complicated!! Bruce feels guilty about not saving Duke's parents; Bruce loves how much Duke loves his parents; Bruce thinks it's not good for Duke to spend so much time thinking about his parents; Bruce also, maybe, a little bit, wants to be Duke's parent. Thinking of this tidbit from Detective Comics #984:
Bruce warns Jefferson about how he should treat Duke, and the very first thing he says is that Duke "won't want another father figure". This shows that a) Duke and fatherhood is a touchy subject and b) it's a subject at the forefront of Bruce's mind. This wording also leaves it ambiguous whether Bruce considers himself a 'father figure'. The next line is nonsense about Duke respecting Bruce too much to 'challenge' him, which is plain wrong, but it does show that Bruce is not very clear what his relationship to Duke is. He's not exactly a 'father figure,' but neither is he a stranger like Jefferson. This in-betweenness is repeated by Duke in Batman & The Outsiders (2019) #1, when he says "You're not my father. And you're not Batman." Batman occupies this nebulous role in Duke's life, orbiting fatherhood but never quite touching it.
Though I think this discomfort around fatherhood is more on Bruce's side, nebulous fatherhood is also a motif for Duke. In Batman & The Signal, Gnomon's presence disrupts a lot of Duke's beliefs about 'family'. We don't have too much on Duke's feelings about Gnomon (recurring thing... sigh) but we do have morsels:
Batman: Urban Legends #18 // Batman: The Secret Files: The Signal
Gnomon makes Duke question Doug's 'father' status; simultaneously, Duke struggles with this idea of 'trading' his WAR family for the Batfamily; then, in Urban Legends, Duke imagines his mom accusing him of loving his dad more than her. All of this shows Duke is deeply troubled by familial replacement - he's terrified of losing his family, particularly Doug and Elaine, because he's found other people he considers family. Bruce figures as both a symbol of the Batfamily and as a possible-father, undergirding a lot of Duke's fears here. So while Bruce more overtly grapples with the way their relationship is defined, Duke also struggles with it.
It's why Duke imagines Bruce under 'family' in Batman & The Signal #3, and then immediately amends it to 'mentor' and 'friend'. In a way, Duke's namelessness in All-Star Batman is a symbolic encapsulation of how neither of them name what they mean to each other.
Our Best Selves
BUT while their relationship is complex and filled with uncertainty, it can also be a really beautiful, really healing thing for both of them.
All-Star Batman #3
Bruce has a long history of shutting people out and being dishonest, which has landed him in hot water with his allies many times. But Duke, who represents honesty and truth, allows him in turn to be honest. Duke knows Bruce needs someone to hear him talk about Harvey, and Bruce knows that Duke needs the truth. And they offer each other what they need, as they have from the very beginning.
Bruce does this for Duke, too, in Batman: Urban Legends #18:
Duke has been working himself to the bone trying to find his mom, to the Outsiders' worry. But it's Bruce's appearance that allows Duke to finally talk about what he's been working on. This panel just really gets me because Duke is talking to all of them but looking straight at Bruce - at a man so entangled with Gotham, with what happened to Doug and Elaine. He wants Bruce to understand. Bruce does.
They are both people who have such a deep love for Gotham, for their parents, who believe in rehabilitation and the goodness of people. And they'll always save each other.
All-Star Batman #5
All-Star Batman #5 // Batman (2011) #50
So actually this section is about the random Duke appearance in Detective Comics #982. Deacon Blackfire tells Bruce that Gotham is cursed, and the issue takes Bruce through ruminations about underserved Gotham neighbourhoods, the role of community, and ends with him watching the sun come up with a little boy. IT'S SO DUKE, like everything Duke stands for, but it's also what Bruce stands for too!! And what's interesting is that when Bruce is told he's alone, he imagines Dick, Babs, Damian, and Duke. Duke says, "we're out best selves because of you."
The Duke-Bruce relationship is a reciprocal one, so Bruce may bring out the best in Duke but Duke also brings out the best in Bruce. And they both believe in the best of people, the best of the city. They are both in love with Gotham, with their families, and they both deeply believe in rehabilitation and promises. They are their best selves because of each other.
Conclusion
In Cursed Wheel Part 4, Duke decides to keep his parents on the premises. He tells Bruce that no matter what his parents say, the truth is that they love him, and he can take it. And Bruce smiles.
Because even though Bruce was the one who suggested moving his parents away - even though he may want Duke to be in his family - he loves Duke because he would never let his parents be moved. Through all of the symbols they make out of each other, all of the slippery definitions of fatherhood, friendship, and mentorship, they are two people who fundamentally get each other. Duke gets where Bruce is coming from with Harvey, and Bruce gets what Duke needs (with the daytime, with the Outsiders, with finding his mom).
The best Bruce-Duke moments are layered with an intimacy that isn't necessarily familial, but is also not strictly teacher-student. They've grown close, but they are also still independent of each other - and though I don't think either of them will ever fully say what they are, that's not so important. They may never be fully free of the uncertainty that underlies their relationship, but they love each other, and the indefinability of their love doesn't make it any less strong.
Iām just saying if Daniel Radcliffe, the literal protagonist of the Harry Potter franchise since the age of ten years old, was able to disavow JK Rowling and move on from the HP universe then actually what the fuck is anyone elseās excuse. There is no one else on the planet who can say their entire childhood was HP more than that guy and he still cared about trans people more than the average tumblr user who says āweāre protesting by making all her characters queer and trans!!ā like you can do better. You should do better.
