Sans titre

[vador14]

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The monster was assembled from many parts. The parts were not chosen for their cleanliness.

The stains arrived on Friday. Nobody knows where they came from. The stains remain. The stains have always remained.

The villagers came with torches. They saw the laundry. They put down their torches and picked up detergent. Nothing helped.

He shrugs. The shrug is the only answer he has. The basket gets heavier. The monster gets guiltier. The laundry remains.

Vintage Frankenstein parody — monster covered in stains holding overflowing laundry basket, guilty shrug, dark dungeon.

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[vador14]

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She ordered coffee at 7am. The coffee was decaf. She did not know it was decaf. She is still finding out.

The silhouette behind the curtain is holding a coffee pot. The coffee pot is full of decaf. This is worse than empty. Empty would have been a kindness. The barista does not do kindness.

You ordered the wrong thing. There is no other option. There has never been another option. Welcome to the establishment.

Vintage Psycho parody — screaming woman in shower, shadowy barista holding coffee pot, black/white with red accent.

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[vador14]

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Nobody invited him to the tournament. The tournament committee is no longer a committee.

The paddle was found in New Jersey. New Jersey has not commented.

His backhand is considered flawless. The evaluation ended when the building ended.

He is not playing for the trophy. There is no trophy large enough. The first seven wonders send their regards from a safe distance.

Vintage King Kong parody — giant gorilla on art deco skyscraper holding ping pong paddle, dramatic stormy sky with lightning.

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[vador14]

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He was an accountant before the mask. The mask did not change the accounting.

The calculator knows what you spent on Amazon last Tuesday. The calculator knows about the subscription you forgot to cancel. He has the receipt from March that you threw away. He always finds them.

He knows what you spent. He knows what you earn. He knows the difference. Friday comes every two weeks. This is not reassuring.

Vintage Friday the 13th parody — masked killer in business suit holding giant calculator, dark forest, crescent moon.

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[vador14]

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The sale started at midnight. Nobody announced it. The sale always finds its customers.

The sign said SALE — ALL MUST GO. All must go was not a suggestion. The neighborhood understood too late.

Some of the residents are no longer residents. They are now part of the sale.

He shops. He discounts. He never stops. Everything is almost gone.

Vintage Halloween parody — masked killer holding giant SALE sign on suburban street, crescent moon, orange dramatic sky.

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[vador14]

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The snoring started on a Tuesday. Nobody knows why it is always Tuesday.

He tried earplugs on night one. They did not survive. He tried a separate bedroom on night two. It did not survive. The door did not survive night three. The axe helped with the counting problem.

Heeere's Daddy. Daddy has not slept since Tuesday. Daddy has an axe about that. The door's opinions have been addressed.

Vintage Shining parody — exhausted man in pajamas mid-axe-swing through broken door, dramatic red/yellow atmosphere.

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[vador14]

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The cat was seventeen pounds. That was before the ocean. The ocean changed things.

The swimmer noticed the shadow first. The shadow was larger than expected.

The cat is not angry. The cat is never angry. The cat is hungry. The cat is always hungry. The scale has changed. The hunger has not.

Just when you thought it was safe to nap. You were wrong about the nap. The cat was right about all of them.

Vintage Jaws parody — giant cat paw rising from dark ocean, drowning swimmer, dramatic stormy sunset sky.

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[vador14]

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The egg was not on the manifest. Nobody put it there. Nobody remembers when it appeared.

The crack appeared on Tuesday. A single orange eye looked through on Wednesday. The eye has still not blinked.

The egg is now in the captain's chair. The captain is in the egg.

In space no one can hear you purr. They can hear everything else. Everything else is considerably louder.

Vintage sci-fi horror parody — cracked alien egg glowing green, single orange cat eye peering through the crack, deep black background.

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[vador14]

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Dr. Skull has been practicing medicine since 1947. His license expired in 1947. He has not stopped practicing.

The green formula is not on any approved list. The lists do not go where Dr. Skull has been.

The creature on the table arrived Tuesday. It is still Tuesday for him. It has been Tuesday for three weeks.

His patients never leave. The sign says "Recovery Room." Nobody has recovered. He kept it for the irony.

Vintage horror poster — skeleton doctor with glowing green vial, zombie patient chained to operating table, gothic laboratory, lightning, shadowy monster.

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[vador14]

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The séance was the first one where something answered. The others had been practice. This was not practice.

The board stayed. The board has always stayed. It is always back on the table by morning.

The hands on the planchette are not the medium's. Not anymore. The medium stopped noticing things shortly after that.

Some of the guests are still in the manor. Some of them are in the board. The board stopped distinguishing in 1934. That was the year the previous owner disappeared.

Vintage halloween poster — ghostly skull rising from ouija board, skeletal hands, haunted mansion, lightning, candles, cobwebs.

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[vador14]

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He opened the shop in 1952. The toys were beautiful. The parents noticed the children changed after playing with them. By the time they figured it out the toys had figured it out first.

Things that last too long develop opinions. His toys developed opinions. The opinions were not good ones.

The jack in the box was wound up in 1953. The handle turns on its own now. Nobody touches it.

The two children came for a birthday present. They are about to get one. It is not what they asked for. The toymaker considers this the same thing.

Vintage horror poster — sinister toymaker, evil jack-in-the-box, marching tin soldiers, skull train, terrified children.

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[vador14]

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The cult has been meeting in that clearing since 1887. The first members are still members. The pumpkin has the agenda. It always has.

The giant pumpkin was not planted. Not grown. Not placed. It was simply there one October morning in 1887.

The man tied to the stake was looking for a shortcut. The forest does not have shortcuts. They have had since 1887 to practice patience.

The robes are not costumes. Several people have made this mistake. The pumpkin accepted their error as an offering.

Vintage horror poster — hooded cult with torches, terrified captive, evil pumpkin on altar, blood red moon, dark forest.

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[vador14]

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The fishermen have a rule. Do not go out after dark. The ones who forgot are not around to be reminded.

The seaweed hanging from its body is not seaweed. Not exactly. It was once other things. The ghoul changed them further. They are comfortable now. Or something that functions like comfortable.

There are always three fishermen on that dock when it rises. Nobody has figured out why yet. The ghoul knows why. The ghoul finds their confusion charming.

Vintage horror poster — massive sea ghoul rising from ocean, terrified fishermen, lighthouse, crescent moon.

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[vador14]

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He was built on a Tuesday. The doctor was in a hurry. This explains several things.

The brain is visible because the skull did not close properly. Franky calls it a window. He can feel the weather with it. He has decided this is useful.

The blue liquid dripping from his boots has not been identified. Franky tracks it everywhere. The neighbors have stopped complaining. The neighbors have stopped most things.

He is not angry. He is not scary. He is simply very large and very enthusiastic. And slightly leaky.

Original cartoon monster — blue-green stitched skin, exposed brain, sparking bolt, platform boots dripping neon blue, sticker style.

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[vador14]

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He died in January. January chose him specifically. The cold has been keeping him since then. The cold is possessive about certain things.

The snowflakes grew there on the third day after he stopped breathing. The cold put them there like a signature. This is mine.

The frost breath is not breath. Not exactly. The temperature drops three degrees every time he opens his mouth. The scientists moved to warmer climates after measuring this.

The icicles grow one centimeter every full moon. He has been dead for eleven winters. The math is not encouraging.

Frozen zombie — glowing teal eyes, snowflake crystals, icicles in frozen hair, frost breath, neon teal glow.

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[vador14]

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Seventeen priests tried before him. The first sixteen did not last the night. Nobody talks about what happened on the third day.

He was what was left. Sometimes what is left is exactly what is needed. This is not one of those times.

The demons are not trying to escape. They are waiting. The demons have learned patience. This is the most frightening thing about them.

The cross is the same cross the seventeenth priest carried. Nobody told him this.

Vintage horror poster — priest vs demon vortex, voodoo symbols, possessed figures, New Orleans mansion.

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[vador14]

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He was buried with a curse for a reason. The reason was him. The priests did not survive the writing of it. Some knowledge costs everything. It was not enough.

The tomb was sealed for three thousand years. Someone opened it in 1922. They thought they were making a discovery. They were making a mistake.

The fire in his eye was already there. The fire is why the tomb was sealed. The hieroglyphs are instructions. For what comes next.

The eye has been open since 1922. It has not blinked once. It has almost found what it is looking for.

Ancient mummy pharaoh — fire eye, hieroglyphs carved into flesh, Egyptian armor, swirling fire and sand.

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