Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Dumb Bitch Band

Alex | they/them | lefty af ☭| NYC public historian, cheese enthusiast, bold young narcissus

[newtonpermetersquare]

So that’s basically how it went down

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

The guy behind the counter at the post office was just like, "can I getcha anything else? Stamps? Pint of blood?" And the ten seconds it took me to remember my mask has vampire teeth printed on it was the longest most bewildering moment of my year so far

[whitepeopletwitter]

[hinasho]

i don’t usually add to posts but this was a good point. they’re purposely handing out just enough money to go to a store

[whitepeopletwitter]

[catcrumb]

[memeuplift]

[growaglow]

[bigjinx]

I AM GOING TO LEARN//THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE//AND THEN I WILL BECOME ONE– Big Jinx, 2020

follow me on instagram

[acoolguy]

[clevermanka]

So today I learned about the existence of Border Leicester sheep. You’re welcome.

[guy]

giante rabit

[tears-of-an-artist]

J.C. Leyendecker (1874-1951), american illustrator.

[badassdemonsword]

[worm-suggestion]

It looks funny, right? You think it looks funny.

I do too. But it lives its whole life. So you have to take it seriously eventually, right? And be respectful and shit.

I think it can digging in the ground for tubers.

[horsegirlimogentemult]

i love not being a teenager but also sometimes people on the internet just say words and i have to look them up on urban dictionary like i’m 90

[richist-deactivated20150511]

Make 2014 about you!!! Kill everyone else

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

if you need me i am going to be binge-reading the archives of my favorite blog on the entire internet which is written by this sweet old man who lives on a farm in the pacific northwest with his husband and a bunch of animals. there are nice pictures of flowers and ducks and the tone is so gentle and soothing:

like… fuck…. i love everything about this blog…. it’s the one good thing left online

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

sir………i am literally crying right now

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

LOOK. AT. THEM.

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

oh to be a chicken eating organic steamed rice on a snowy day…. i mean…. my god

[pissvortex]

for everyone asking why it’s bad to have sex with and marry a 90 year old man with dementia who thinks you’re his dead wife so that you can take his money: please remove your brain from your skull and rinse it off under some hot water to remove the built-up grime that has accumulated over the years of exposure to the internet

[hellsite-yano]

what the fuck did I miss

[worthlessclericbuild]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

[theradioghost]

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

[ritavonbees]

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

[marisatomay]

please do not forget your smash mouth

[kokiri-leaf]

[thestereotypebuster]