Farewell and Remember

Indie Clara Oswald RP Blog Multiverse and Multiship. Open to M!As and plot ideas. Tracking #valememento and #impossiblyclaraoswald

[rhaegartarqaryen-deactivated201]

Whouffle AU: dark fairy tale 

But if I know you, I know what you’ll do. You’ll love me at once the way you did once upon a dream.

[awarriorandhisbox-blog]

One Step Closer | Closed

[awarriorandhisbox-blog]

      “Of course I heard what I said. Yes, it was a bit dumb…but I know that you’d never harm me. Because I am your life and heart, I know that you never could. And I would never harm you.”

      He shook his head, laughing and blushing. “I think what was worse was when I explained to you what was between your legs. Didn’t I pass out for a few seconds?”

      He reached up to stroke her hands. “You won’t be bad. Look, men like sex a lot. Most won’t care even if it is bad, okay? And bad sex won’t lessen my feelings for you at all. I love you so, so much. I can help you to get better, that’s how sex works.”

[valememento]

   She shivered at the idea of living without it, and wondered if she'd end up as cold as her father. If she would have a daughter who would resent her as much as Clara herself had grown to resent her own parent. 

  "You did." she giggled. "I remember. Especially when I suggested lifting up my skirt for you to demonstrate." She grinned mischievously.

   Clara blushed deeply as he touched her hands, and allowed herself to embrace him, pressing herself as close to him as possible. "I love you." she whispered softly. "I...I want to run away."

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

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[valememento]

His words left her trembling with both fear and anticipation. This was not going to be a gentle lovemaking she had been wanting. Yet, a small shiver overcame her, part of her wanted to owned by him, completely and utterly claimed. 

"I just want you." she whispered. "To want me too."

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

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[valememento]

He looked like the cat who got the cream with that smile on his face, and it made Clara blush three shades darker. Her lips opened, making little whimpers and groans as his fingers ran over her center, eyes struggling to stay open as they fluttered. 

Clara opened her mouth as he kissed her, letting his tongue into her mouth. Her hand came to his shoulder, pulling him closer, before to moving to the nape of his neck, holding him there as she kissed him softly. He was perhaps kissing her lustily, but she was still managing to show him her gentleness. 

Her fingers gently ran over the skin of his neck, wanting to show him how much she wanted this. 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

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[valememento]

She was like putty in his hands, falling back against the bed and letting her skin catch fire as he touched her. "Oh Clever..." It wasn't the Doctor she was thinking about as he kissed and sucked her neck, it was all him. His darkness, his obvious confusion with her...

As his fingers touched her intimately, she almost jumped. Instead, a soft primal groan left her throat, eyes fluttering, before opening and looking into his.  He could hit her, he could kill her right now if he wanted, and she was entirely defenseless. 

"Kiss me, Clever. Please." 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

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[valememento]

She yelped as his hands pushed away her hands, her face turning a deeper shade of red. Her teeth lightly bit into her bottom lip, making her lips a little redder, darker compared to the rest of her heart shaped face. How could he look at her and see something beautiful? When she was all marked and bruised..

But when his lips touched her neck again, all thought left her mind that wasn't pertaining to getting him closer. 

Eager to do as he pleased, her hands pushed at her dress, feeling it slip off her feet and to the floor. 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

From the angle he was at, he could see the way the dress fell, baring her to him. His hand rose, moving to tear off the dress and bare her completely, but she was soon turning to him.

Her hands on his shoulders automatically made him assume that she was going to push him. Anger surged through him and he prepared himself to throw her down to have his way.

Instead, she kissed him. The only shock he revealed was a surprised moan before he was grabbing onto her, shoving her right down onto the beg she had just been on. “Good girl.” He growled.

[valememento]

"Clever....I.." she didn't know what to say to tell her feelings. "Is this right?" Clara finally asked, blushing deeply. 

"I do want to do this, I do...I just..." A deep sigh left her lips. This was why he shouldn't have given her time to think about this. "Is this really what you want?" 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

His fingers ran up and down her spine, again and again, just feeling her soft skin. His nails scraped the flawless canvas every so often, leaving crescents rather than making her bleed.

He was suddenly overcome, his eyes daring over what he could see of her body. He wanted to see more, but he knew she’d protest, or cry, or beg if he demanded it of her.

So instead of demanding, he leaned down and kissed over her neck before he bit down, hoping to seduce her with the pressure of his teeth somehow.

[valememento]

Her mouth opened in a soft gasp as his fingers still touched the sensitive skin of her back. Then she almost yelped as his nails dug into her back, making her knees weak and her hands clench. This was supposed to be painful, wasn't it?

A strangled moan left her lips as he kissed her neck, her shoulders slumping and the top of the dress fell off her body, revealing her chest, but she wasn't bothered to pull it back up.  Her eyelids fluttered at the sensation, before she yelped as his teeth bit her neck, eyes widening.  

Clara turned to him, her hands moving to his shoulders, and looked up at him panicked. What had he just done? However, Clara couldn't help herself to think about what was logical, what was right...

She pulled him into a kiss. 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

"I can blame you for whatever I like. You think being emotionless is any better than being human? It’s not, so shut the fuck up."

He eyed her as she said she wasn’t zipped, sighing. He could already tell this wasn’t going to end well, but he stood up and made his way behind her. He eyed that smooth back of hers for a long moment, wanting to drag his nails down it.

Instead, the tips of his fingers came up to stroke her soft skin.

[valememento]

"It might be! You don't know what I feel. You don't know the beginning of it."

She stood still as he joined her, standing close behind her and making her take in a breath. His fingers touched her skin and she almost jumped, but Clara found herself leaning into his fingers, shivering softly. 

His touch was surprisingly warm for someone who had been taken over by coding and circuits.  It shouldn't have made her feel like this, like honey poured through her veins and settled in her lower stomach. Her heart shouldn't be beating this fast. 

But it all did.

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

"I’m not going to upgrade you." He said through clenched teeth, his eyes narrowed. "I’m never going to upgrade you, so don’t you dare get your hopes up for that."

He watched as she disappeared behind the curtain, swallowing thickly. If Cyber-Planners could get sick, he imagined he would be running to the toilet by now. Upgrade her? She would be an emotionless hunk of metal and he hated the thought.

When she came back out in the dress, that familiar lust shot through his body. It didn’t feel the same as usual. “You look lovely.” He crossed his arms, keeping his eyes on her legs.

[valememento]

"You can't blame me for wanting it. I'm so tired, Clever. I'm so tired of living this lie with you, you have to try and give me something else. I've stopped trying to bring the Doctor back, that should be enough to display my loss."

Her hands straightened the skirt, as if hoping it would lengthen, yet, there was a part of Clara that wanted him to come lift it, to touch her legs and look up at her with that lust in his eyes. 

"Thank you." she whispered. "But...uh...it's not zipped up yet." 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

He looked down at his hands, playing with his fingers. Fingers that had tightened on her wrist, and bruised her body, and left red marks on her cheeks. Curling his hands into fists so he didn’t have to see those fingers didn’t make him feel any better.

"Well, you are Clara Oswald." He whispered, wishing he could tear the metal off his face to do something noble with his fingers. "You’re stuck that way."

Just like he was stuck being a faulty Cyberman who got emotions from a pathetic Time Lord. “Get used to it.”"

[valememento]

"Unless you decide to upgrade me." Clara wondered aloud, looking at him pleadingly. "It would be easier for you, wouldn't it? I wouldn't...I wouldn't disobey me. You wouldn't have to hurt me anymore." It would be like death for Clara, but at least she would have some semblance of peace. 

Her hand wanted to reach for his, but all Clara could do was take the dress from him, getting out the bed and pulling the curtain, barring him from seeing her. He had rejected her, he had lost the privelege of seeing her body. 

She came back out in the red dress, staring at the floor. It was too short. The fact was that it was close to the hemline of the skirts she used to wear. It just felt more revealing now.

[overcrowdedtardis-blog-deactiva]

Well That's Embarrassing | OPEN | [Eleven and Clara]

[overcrowdedtardis-blog-deactiva]

He whirled round, stopping mid-sentence. His heart stopped. Well, his metaphorical heart stopped. The one that maeks you hold your breath as the moment of dreaded anticipation seems to drag on forever. The two literal ones in his chest were just doing a sort of fluttery boom-ba-da-boom thing.

Except he was fairly sure she’d just said… well.

Maybe he was dreaming. On some level it didn’t seem like this had actually happened. He should say something, he decided. Something like…

do you mean that?

I wanted to tell you for a long time

I’m in love with you

"Oh. Well…" he cleared his throat. "That’s good."

Hmm. Not nailing this.

[valememento]

She stared at him for a moment, before looking at the ground, her hands clasping together uncomfortably, chewing on her lip. This would probably be the moment that one of them would burst into song, if this was some romantic comedy.  Clara shakily walked to him, her hand taking his and squeezing.  

"Doctor....say something. Say how you feel. Please..." 

I need you to say it.

"This isn't some simple thing like telling you I made a souffle or got a cat. This is me, telling you how I feel about you, because you're too much of a bloody coward to admit it." 

She smiled at that last bit. It was true. She had been getting quite frustrated with him.  It was obvious he had a crush on her at least. Clara had seen the looks he gave her when she thought he wasn't looking. And honestly, did he think she didn't ask that empath how he might have felt? She just needed him to say it. Just to tell her already.

[overcrowdedtardis-blog-deactiva]

The Distinguished Gentleman from Gallifrey | valememento | [Eight and Victorian!Clara]

[overcrowdedtardis-blog-deactiva]

"A pleasure," the younger Ms. Austen smiled easily, returning the greeting. "Forgive me, but I always attend Lady Tamworth’s events, but I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure before?"

"Ah, no, we’re new to the area," the Doctor said. "Um — Netherfield Park, do you know it?"

"Yes, of course. Oh, and you must meet — " Cassandra turned round. "Heavens, where’s she gone? Mama? Is Jane about? She always has her nose in those books, it’ll come to no good, I’m sure. Oh, but I mustn’t detain you any longer. Two newlyweds like yourselves must be desperate to join the dancing. It’s a truth universally acknowledged, I’m sure.”

"Newlyweds?"

Cassandra let out a chuckle. “Forgive me, but you are, aren’t you? It’s all over your faces. Excuse me, I really must be off to find my sister.”

As she left, the Doctor stiffened a bit, feeling himself blush. Obvious? Whatever did that mean?

"Well, then," he said, in an effort to diffuse that, offering his hand. "Shall we?"

[valememento]

Clara grinned at the idea of young Ms. Austen always having her nose in books. That would soon serve her in more ways than she knew. Clara Oswin Oswald had seen how Jane Austen's popularity had grown into modern times. Young girls still read her stories, enjoying the tales she told. 

However, when the word newlyweds was thrust upon them, Clara's eyes widened a bit. What did she mean all over their faces? She looked at the Doctor, eyebrows raising in confusion, to find him blushing. A usual smirk came onto her face. Making the Doctor blush was one of her favorite pastimes. 

Instantly, she took his hand, walking with him to the center of the room, placing her other hand on his shoulder and beginning to dance. "Seems we caught her right at her beginning." Clara mused, thinking about Jane. "It's like seeing Beethoven play his first piece." She grinned widely. "I wonder if she's fiery like all the stories say. Full of spirit. I always identified with her." 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

"You look really good in red." He said quietly, understanding what she truly meant. "Red clothing." He set the dress down and sighed running a hand over his face.

Her question made him look up, eyes wide. What was he supposed to say to her? He’s confused with all his emotions and gets angry about it, thus taking it all out on her? It made him seem ridiculous, and selfish, and foolish.

He couldn’t remember the days where he didn’t care about feeling ridiculous, selfish, or foolish.

"Because…you make me angry." He said simply. "There’s nothing more to it than that. You make me angry, Clara Oswald."

[valememento]

"Red clothing." She repeated it softly, looking down over her arms, rubbing away the makeup to reveal the scars, the bruises he'd given her.  The yellow and purple painting of the past few months. She hated it. Looking at it made her want to scream and cry and thrash till they went away.  

She made him angry? And it was her fault? What had she done to deserve this? What could anyone ever do to deserve a fate like hers? 

"I don't want to be me anymore." she whispered, voice raggedy, eyes looking blank to the foot of her bed. "I don't want to be Clara Oswald." Clara Oswald used to be a winner. Clara Oswald used to be strong.  

Clara was tired of being strong. 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

"You’re awake. Good." He hid the relief in his voice as best as he could, but some slipped out. "I’m sure you’re just stressed, or overwhelmed, or overheated, or something like that. We’ll have some water and sugar in you in a moment."

He noticed the silky, red dress he had thrown aside, moving to grab it and show it to her. “I got you this.” He was trying. To be nice, to put her at ease, and to not get angry at himself for it. He just didn’t know how to do it well.

"It’ll look good on you. You can try it after you have your strength back, maybe." He gave her a nearly hopeful look.

[valememento]

His relief made Clara uncomfortable. He was the reason she was so overwhelmed, so weak, and he had the sense to be so relieved she was still living. Part of her wished she hadn't woken up, she had died humiliated and alone, put out of her misery.

Her eyes scanned the dress. It looked nice, she used to love red, but now she could only think of it as provocative, just asking to get thrown around. "Of course you think it looks good on me. It's red. You love me in red." It was a reference to his enjoyment of beating her up. Snide remarks weren't very wise, but she was bitter. 

Sighing, she let herself calm down. "Thank you for the dress....." she trailed off, before looking at him, meeting his eyes. "Clever..why? Why...why do you hurt me?"

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

He didn’t even notice at first. He was inspecting a dress that the saleswoman had handed him when he heard the gasps, and turned to see Clara out cold on the floor.

He felt something new. Panic. He didn’t even have time to get angry at himself, already swooping Clara into his arms and racing out of the store with the dress in hand. Employees yelled after him, but he just ran into the TARDIS without looking back.

Within five minutes, he’d had her in the med bay and hooked up to every machine there; only to find out she was perfectly fine. She’d only gotten overwhelmed and fainted, because of him.

There was that guilt again. This time, he just let it happen. He didn’t force it down with anger or try to forget, he just carried Clara to her room and sat by the bed, brooding as he waited for her to wake up.

[valememento]

She didn't feel any of it, him running and rushing her, only the softness of the bed as her eyes blinked open. Perhaps it was eating too much so suddenly when her body was used to starvation, or it was her own panic. As her hand move, she felt lines move with it, she was hooked up to machines. 

"What...?" What had happened? Had she been rushed to a hospital? Oh goodness, the doctor's were probably in danger. Clever could hurt them..

As her vision cleared, her heart sunk. She was in the med bay of the TARDIS, and Clever sat beside her. Disappointed now, she was only back in her cage. 

[valememento]

Fire and Ice || socleveralready

[socleveralready]

He didn’t want her consent. He wanted her to beg, and scream, and cry as he claimed her. He wanted her shattered into pieces, lying motionless as he fucked her each time after the first.

"What do you mean? I do want to buy you a dress." He forced himself to continue smiling as he took hold of her arm, guiding her out of the restaurant. "We’ll get you a nice dress, one that makes you look good. How about that?"

There was that couple again, passing by as they stepped outside. He glared and dragged Clara to a little dress shop up the street.

[valememento]

She looked at him sadly. "F-fine." She had her answer now. He didn't want her. He didn't want Clara Oswald. He wanted a toy. Some poor soul for him to torture and beat till they were dead inside. Her eyes took on a dull feeling, staring at nothing. 

Little porcelain doll for him to shatter and glue back together again. One for him to dress up and play pretend with. 

This game made her sick. 

As she passed the couple again, she looked anywhere but at them. Clara didn't want them in her vision, or in her thoughts. Love might as well not exist. Not for her. 

As she walked inside the dress shop, it just turned into a blur of color, and Clara couldn't hear what Clever said, couldn't hear anything as her heart pounded in her ears. Nothing mattered. Nothing at all. 

She hardly felt herself fall to the ground, as everything went black.