To call the current situation in the RQ community 'drama' would be a horrible disservice, but I don't know what else to call it at this point. I suppose all I can really say-- as somebody not close to anybody directly hurt by PermaMonika-- is that CSEM/CSAM is bad, and no, I cannot believe I need to say that. If you spread it around, that is bad. Full stop. On top of that, the current climate is not conducive to a Pro-C stance for MAPs. Yes, I am youthlib, but youthlib INCLUDES comprehensive education on consent and sex, which is something that is sorely lacking at this time, at least where I am (USAmerican). If comprehensive education on sex and consent is not given to a certain group, then that group cannot consent.
I am firmly anti-prison, but that does not mean I am anti-consequences. I believe that PermaMonika should have to face repercussions for his actions, as he has hurt others in ways that they may not be able to recover from.
PermaMonika is a deplorable being. My heart aches for everyone and everything that he has hurt. I will not pretend to know every detail of the situation, but I will continue educating myself to the best of my ability so I may make my blog a proper safe space for everyone.
[Image ID: A purple-indigo ombre rectangle with a star embellished outline in the lower right-hand corner and a star-shaped image of Stolas from Helluva Boss. Text reads; 'This post is by Stolas. He/hy/it. RQ, proship, pro-endo. Treast as source, please!' End ID.]
PermaMonika STOP FUCKING BLOCK EVADING ME CHALLENGE GO!! I do not like you or your actions! I do NOT SUPPORT PREDS! Please just go try to be a better person and STOP BLOCK EVADING ME AND SO MANY OTHERS!! JUST STOP!! We have clearly blocked you for a REASON! I know we cannot stop you from following our side blogs, but we can definitely block you from this one!
Even if you have theoretically recovered and changed your ways, I still want nothing to do with you, and you are STILL BLOCK EVADING, which is still a shitty thing to do! Thanks!!
i need people to be more okay with transharmfuls being nice. being fun. being whimsical. liking cute things. being good people. caring for others.
being transharmful isnt always towards everyone around you. we can love people too. we can be affectionate and kind and loving just as much as everyone else.
and we are just as deserving of love and affection as transharmed or other transid users. not all of us are big scary standoffish people.
name: not telling
age: not telling
dni: not telling
chronoage: not telling
paras: not telling
transids: not telling
cisids: not telling
trisids: not telling
nullids: not telling
contant stance: not telling
i saw your transdinokid flag and immediately i started cghanting "ONE OF US! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!" very splendid event. i enjoy :D
I absolutely adore dinosaurs! I am obsessed with The Jurassic World Evolution games- although I don't play them very much- I digress! It's very fun and entertaining! I'm glad you enjoyed it!!!
Had a little bit of a rough end of my day today as I got very triggered, so I'm trying to take care of myself, soothe myself, by taking a nice cold shower- yes, cold, it's hot out!- and cosying up in bed watching a show to ease my current special interest. Thinking about maybe rummaging around for some nice chocolate for me to have whilst I watch! It's late at night, and I have the house to myself somewhat, so I want to treat myself! Also switched my default keyboard from US English to UK English to get away from some dysphoria! It's very, very nice, honestly. Might work on some flags later!
I would definitely love some interaction, though! I love to talk to people, so please feel free to talk to me and/or ask questions! Have a lovely time zone, my lovelies!
Very very easily! You can DM or even just talk to us in comments or reblogs, or anon of course!! We also don't mind giving out our Discord privately! We used to have it public!
We can talk a LOT about things that we love! We're a good listener as well! A mediocre replier tho 😭 but we try our best! We love playing games or watching things with people too as well even if it can take us a little bit to get comfortable with calling new people :D We're into a bunch of stuff so I'm sure we have things in common!!
I promise we don't bite! We would LOVE to make more friends!!
i literally just finished jessicur's most recent video on the radqueer community, and i just wanna talk about it a little bit!
i got four key points from this video:
the radqueer community is inherently harmful
the majority of the community is made up of minors groomed into it
consensual abuse is inherently nonconsensual and dangerous
the community is cult-adjacent
i want to talk about my perspective, experience, and just share my thoughts on each of these (plus a little bit more at the end).
"the radqueer community is inherently harmful."
i don't agree with this statement.
there are so many sides of this community that are accepting and give people a space to be themselves.
of course, i do know for sure that there are bad actors and harmful labels in the community, some of which even i find myself uncomfortable with. im not saying that the community cant be harmful, because it very much can be and definitely has in the past.
however, making a blanket assumption of an entire community, especially one as diverse as radqueer, is dangerous. every community out there has "harmful" or "scary" sides, but that doesn't mean the entire group is. you cant judge an entire cluster of DIVERSE people based on one assumption or one handful of infamous beings.
for example, look at the gacha community. gacha life and associated games were used as a way for people to express themselves. it is a diverse community with a thousand niche subcultures. and for a very, very long time, it was only known for one harmful and sexualized part. as a result, people who had done nothing wrong were bullied and ostracized (online and in real life! ask me how i know.) simply because they were part of a group that had a bad reputation.
its a clear example of why its so wrong to assume an entire community is the same as the worst of it.
and im not comparing paraphilias to fuckin gacha life characters. im not saying the substance that makes up each community is similar enough for a comparison- only how each community was treated by people outside of it because of a SMALL percentage of people INSIDE it.
ever heard of the silent majority? most of the popular radqueer creators, that are known for less than good things, make up a minority of it. for every person who commits an actual crime or is a genuine danger to the people around them, there are a hundred people who arent. assuming that all 101 are is stereotypical and dangerous.
"the majority of the community is made up of minors groomed into it"
i wont lie, there is a grooming issue. beings are definitely groomed into it. SAME AS A MILLION OTHER GROUPS. when i was a child, i was literally groomed into watching fucking h-ntai. that doesnt mean that every single person who watches h-ntai was either groomed into it or IS a groomer. theres definitely a percentage of people that ARE, and they should absolutely be dealt with/given help properly, however. you. cannot. use. a. blanket. statement. to. define. an. entire. group.
not only that, but this section came off as very infantilizing. the same sob story of "oh poor minors and evil adults." but. so many minors join the community of their own free will. also, not every adult is a fucking predator, ready to snatch up these kids.
wording things such as that minors are incapable of making their own decisions, would never join this community out of their own free will, and are being lured to the back of the metaphorical white van with a bowl of candy, is just so rude.
it is true that many beings here are and were victims of past abuse that led them to find comfort in this. im not going to say that thats not true. because it is. but that doesnt mean that we're all poor little naive innocent babies that dont know what we're getting into.
i CHOSE to join this community. i CHOSE the beliefs i have. i CHOOSE to dabble in fantasies of consensual abuse. because i WAS abused. because i was raped, sexually assaulted, gaslighted, manipulated, and fucking beaten to hell and back. i have been through it all.
most of which being during my developmental years. having a space where i am safe to explore the things that have happened to me in a controlled and consensual environment has done nothing but help.
and yes! yes, its weird! yes, its out of the norm! no, i dont expect everyone and their mother to nod their head and rub their chin wisely when they hear that i choose this life! you dont have to be comfortable with it. not everyone is going to be. but thats why its so important to build your own spaces. if you arent comfortable with something that brings someone else comfort, if you find it weird or strange, even if it downright disgusts you! you still have no right to take another persons space away from them.
harrassing people, leading campaigns against them, witch-hunting and bullying them, creating biased videos painting them as monsters! none of that is okay, no matter how weird someone is.
"consensual abuse is inherently nonconsensual and dangerous"
this is just plain wrong. the number one most important part of consensual abuse is CONSENT. CONSENT to be abused or CONSENT to abuse, from all parties involved. this also means that these parties can TAKE AWAY that consent if they no longer want to participate. consensual abuse is no different from any other kind of roleplaying, in the sense that its done between two or more beings who are aware of what theyre doing and are happy to let it happen.
again, i understand that its not everyones cup of tea. i understand that it might weird you out or make you uncomfortable. i understand that it might disgust you. which is why youre not forced to engage with it!
judging someone based on the activities THEY do with THEIR time and THEIR consent, of which make THEM happy, is so fucking rude and incredibly parasocial. NOBODY has the right to tell someone what they can and cannot do if what theyre doing is CONSENSUAL and MAKES THEM HAPPY.
this includes them hurting themself or hurting someone else who wants it, or being hurt by someone if they want it. its not your choice what someone else does, its THEIRS.
"the community is cult-adjacent"
now, i dont agree with this statement because of how it was worded and, in my opinion, makes light of what a 'cult' is, but i do want to talk about something i do agree on the video with.
the radqueer community has an issue where you can be pressured into being around things that make you uncomfortable. being uncomfortable with being around a person, group, label, thing, etc doesn't mean that you should be harassed for it.
im fucking terrified of spiders and do NAWT want to be around them but that doesnt mean i think all spiders should be eradicated or that all spider lovers should beat me up with bats for not liking their little arachnids.
i LOVE animals with everything in me, especially snakes! but that doesnt mean im gonna call every animal lover with a fear of snakes a fucking poser and then punch them in the face- because you HAVE to love snakes to be an animal lover. you GOTTA.
its just plain stupid.
and i see that happen in the rqc all the time! people can be uncomfortable with certain labels interacting with their blog, they have every right to be so. im not comfortable with cisnazis or fully transitioned, ideology-following transnazis, because my abusive ex was one. and because it literally puts me in fight or flight to be around them. but that doesnt mean im gonna harass them, and it doesnt mean that i should be harassed BY them. they can exist in their spaces (with all the consequences that might entail), and ill exist in mine. thats the end of it. it does not make me a 'bad radqueer' to have boundaries for my own safety.
but a lot of people think it does. i remember one account (not the name, just the account), who was personally uncomfortable with transnazis. as far as im aware, they were harassed by the community until they went inactive.
thats going WAY too far. they have a right to decide who gets to be on their blog and who doesnt.
"back to the video- other issues!"
the biggest issue to me was the lack of direction. now, i am a big journalism nerd and maybe this is just a pet peeve of mine, but journalism exists for a reason.
every story has a why? a so what? an and? basically, why should the audience care? ive been creating journalistic pieces for over an entire year and every single story i have written started with why i wanted the audience to care that i wrote it.
but i dont get much of that from the video. if it was a genuine story on the darker parts of the community, it should have been longer and formatted better.
the video went like this: introduction > a list of terms in the community and what they mean > an interview of one person who left the community > why the community is dangerous
every good argument starts with your hypothesis. i do like how the creator gave a brief overview on the radqueer community (although i dont like what that overview was- more on that in a bit) before getting too deep into the argument. however, thats where that ends. there wasnt much of an argument made until the very end. i went through the video feeling really confused.
what is she trying to say? what is her view on this community? what backs up that view?
and then, when the argument was finally made, it kinda fell apart immediately. no good journalist makes an argument without evidence to back it up.
source? just trust me bro. just trust me and the one single person i interviewed bro. yeah i have no screenshots or cited sources (EXCEPT for definitions) but like. just trust me bro.
the lack of evidence, the substance of any journalistic piece, makes the argument wobbly at most.
i genuinely feel that if you want to make a commentary on the radqueer community, it should be done with the same care that you would put into any other commentary. you cannot half-ass a video simply because you dont like the people involved. and you cannot call yourself a journalist if you disagree with that previous statement.
the other thing i wanted to talk about was the bias. journalism is an UNBIASED form of writing, unless youre making an argument that you have the EVIDENCE TO BACK UP.
this video cannot decide whether it wants to be a documentary on what the community is or whether it wants to be an argument that the community is bad. again, this is another thing that makes it very weak and unreliable.
overall, the video was made with little care or effort, a weak argument, and clear bias. the creator could have done so much better and, even from the perspective of a journalist, i am genuinely disappointed in the work itself.
I miss talking to u regularly :(( but I also don't wanna pressure u yk?
Idk just a thought. Love ya <3
I miss talking to you regularly too :( I have such a low social battery right now unfortunatelyyyy it suucks. I'm trying to focus on trying to be in a better place mentally (which I think is going pretty good so far!) coining and making flags :(( Uuhghf I miss you a lot <3
