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@valentinosinner
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@valentinosinner
#1 dad
@valentinosinner
calgoodieâ:
Calum chuckled as he was passed the drink from the man standing behind the bar and took his first long pull before visually showing her the rolling of his eyes. âRiiight. Always had a bit of kangaroo in you didnât you?â He teased as he watched her expression go from slightly one that was slightly playful to panicked. One that made sense considering the problem at hand. Heâd literally caught her red-handed several times. Or at least he thought he had until she questioned whether Callie had told him or not. âWhat do you mean? Callie didnât have to tell me anything. Itâs been a little obvious.â He mused as he swirled the beer around in his glass. It wasnât like he needed to. It was a cheap shitty drink, but somehow took the place of any other fidgeting he might have tried for. âI didnât realize you two had run into each other again after the whole incident at the bar opening. Which Iâm sorry for again. Iâm sure that probably wasnât the most comfortable situation to walk in on.â He said, unsure now if he should be the one that was nervous or not. Nothing had happened between the two of them since sheâd been back which was honestly perhaps a bigger surprise than what he thought they needed to talk about. He paused again as she rambled off about telling him sooner, as if he hadnât seen enough already, trying to figure out how the hell she really expected him not to know when all of a sudden she stopped to ask what they were supposed to be discussing. The confusion probably clear as day on his face as he sat back in his seat to shoot her an estranged look. âUmm probably about the fact that when you arrived in town you told me you were sober, trying to get clean and that clearly hasnât happened since being back. The whole falling off the bandwagon thing. But I have to be honest, you havenât done a great job at keeping that a secret.âÂ
Kangaroo? Was that a dig at a pouch? No! No. He just means theyâre jumpy, stop thinking into this. The guilt -- god, this entire fucking situation truly was getting to her, wasnât it? Nervous chuckles is all that passed through her lips, flurrying out like a melody as worried hues turned down to the glass that sat in front of her. âObvious? I mean I wouldnât say obvious, I know I gained a little weight, but I thought I did a good job at snapping back, I mean fuck, my bodyâs been through a lot,â sheâd murmured out quietly, begging for her brain to stop the words that had begged to escape. Tell him. Tell him and itâll be all over, just like that. Heâll hate you, but you can move on -- fuck, he can move on. Move on after he knows all the sins youâve committed. Youâll beg, heâll just let you go -- like you were never even there. Two years gone, but jesus -- isnât anything better than this shit show youâre calling a life? Than keeping the little girl you love so much a secret? Sober. Falling off the bandwagon. God, why did it sound so much fucking worse coming from his mouth? Still, it ignited the small flame that flickered within her, defense firing up as eyebrows knit together, a smile coming across her face as she tried to keep her cool, feeling the liquor settle in, the warmth overcoming her. âSorry... Cal I just -- I donât.. No offense, but you donât know what the fuck is going on in my life, so I donât think whatever judgement youâre expelling right now, is justified. So who cares? I said I wanted to stop drinking, I changed my mind. Iâve been going through a lot of shit okay. Besides, I-Iâm not a fucking addict. I donât have a problem, I was just a little too wild, a few fucking drinks arenât gonna kill me.â
Loosies (2011) Directed by Michael Corrente
@valentinosinner
@calgoodie @hollisbaker
cierraramirez: you can call me names if you call me yoursÂ
Snatchers (2019) Directed by Stephen Cedars and Benji Kleiman
@valentinosinner
hollisbakerâ:
hollis deadpanned truly, smacked by reality and practically frozen. how could he have known how hard it had been for her? itâs not like she had exactly reached out. he couldnât blame her though because who in their right mind would have ever wanted hollis to be the father of their child? he was practically a boy himself and deeply, he had some growing up to do. especially now. all he could do now was shake his head, pressing lips together and swallowing down creeping worry and dozens of questions. there wouldnât be any finger pointing here, thatâs not what they had been trying to do. if they were to come to any sort of resolution or plan, he needed to keep his mouth closed. a feat he had not tried in a long, long while.
the way she tried to get any smaller than she always was gave her away. how long had they been friends? hollis knew that she had been trying to disappear. âgood mums take breaks some times.â or so he was told. but he couldnât shake the guilt washing over him, ceceâs sadness almost able to be felt from across the dead space. he longed to take her up in his long arms, hug her and let her know that it would be okay. that would be counter productive to the cause though, hollis knew that. âsheâs not going to remember all of this in the end, c. sheâll only pick up on your emotions, which, i guess iâm just sayinâ that if anything, i hope that i, uh, well can help with that. take some time for yourself here and there. go get a massage or something. at an actual spa, not in dick form-â hollis snorted at himself, trying to hold back a fit of laughter. even in important moments, there he was making an utter fool of himself.
âif sheâs mine that isnât even a question, celestia,â hollis told her, all but cutting cece off while sitting up straighter. âneither one of us asked for this but if itâs whatâs meant to be, and we have a kid together, you and i will find a way to make it work. whatâs the term for it? i know thereâs gotta be one.â
pausing, hollis really thought about that question. it felt as if he had been standing on a floating dock, connected to shore but just barely. just a few weeks back none of this had been on his radar and somehow his life had changed. he had come through ceceâs home expecting to be a good friend helping her paint and honestly maybe get laid, but instead he came out a father to her baby. potentially. most likely. âiâm fuckinâ wrecked about it, honest. nothinâ to completely kick off about but, you know you had all that time to process it or maybe, at least kind of. itâs not like she just appeared for you, right? for me actually, sheâs still this little enigma. i canât even dream up what she looks like or what itâs gonna be like to know her. and, so be it if i am her father, i think itâd be quite neat to know her. half of me. parts of us. itâs so fucked up, cece.â and then, he really did start laughing, shaking his head and squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. âgod, can you believe it? in it together for the rest of our days. quite fucky, huh? the way it all works out.â in fact, hollis wasnât sure heâd ever really believe that this was the outcome. heâd be gaining a family, a daughter and cece as that babyâs mother. but taking responsibility, really owning this, meant that he couldnât just up and run. the days of hopping out of windows and scaling balconies to get away from the uncomfortable were up for him. heâd have to face calum, face the ghost of evie. really close the chapters of his life that were left open ended. thereâd be no way heâd be hauling that baggage while trying toâŠ. parent. heâd have to face himself and that was the scariest thing of all because when on godâs green earth did hollis do that?Â
âso. i go to the appointment and give them my dna or what have you. they tell me sheâs mine or itâs a match or iâm the golden ticket holder and then what? we do this thing? like, platonically parent or-?â
âgood moms try... so i guess thatâs what iâm doing here, just... trying.â hollis had known her long enough to know her quips, quirks, everything in between. whatever she tried at, most of the time, sheâd succeeded in. but this? this wasnât in the realm of books, study, fashion, or brains -- no this, this was a beast of another kind. but to hear him say that? to hear him tell her that if sheâd needed it, heâd be there. after all the shit sheâs hidden, kept buried down. months of self-decisions, decisions he shouldâve been involved in, decisions where he shouldâve had a say but selfishness? that was always her downfall, hadnât it been? reality had batted her down, beating the very last piece of it out of her. because her life? it wasnât hers alone now, no. her life was her. âiâm sorry... iâm sorry i didnât tell you,â she whispers out, her chin coming to rest upon her knees as she looks to him, shaking her head, listening to his words spew out. â-- youâre the first form of dick therapy, iâve gotten since having her, so i donât think thatâll be an issue.â
watching him sit straighter, she laughs because itâs ridiculous. all of this is so fucking ridiculous that it makes jane the virgin look tamed. because this man? heâs not supposed to be the person that she has in her life for.. forever. heâs not supposed to be the one sheâs sharing a promise with another man sheâs made for so many years. itâs fascinating, watching him think, watching the goofiness fade away and for him to only have this serious expression drawn across each and every feature.Â
she listens to his words... really listens, to what he has to say because this? it isnât a choice of hers anymore, this is his choice. his choosing on whether he leaves or stays, once everything checks out, of course. lips purse, quirking to the side as she takes in a breath, and emerges a series of chuckles, because this -- well, it is quite fucky, indeed. everything about this entire situation had been fucky and at this point, she doesnât think thereâs anything better than a way to describe... well -- whatever the fuck this was. âshe has my lips... your cheeks, thank god or else sheâd look like a fucking chipmunk, my nose -- your eyes. this hazel, itâs like this brown but they change colors when they hit the light or with different days and you could swear theyâre green,â she mutters out, a small smile coming to her face as her gaze focuses in on the carpet, and it slowly slips from her face as the negative thoughts come rolling in because god, this was asked a lot, even if she wasnât asking. âshe cries.. a lot -- probably gets that from me, iâve always been a brat. but when she giggles, it makes up for it,â large brown eyes turn back to the pair that lay out on the couch in front of her. âyou donât have to do this because you feel guilty. iâm not gonna ask you to stay, if you donât want to. youâre not stuck, and iâm not going to hold this over your head, or ask for anything, i-i just... i needed you to know.â
at his words, she canât help but scrunch her nose up, as she bites at her lower lip, eyes rolling. âyeah, so youâll go, theyâll swab a cheek and if youâre lucky, itâll come back positive after a few days,â she tells him, because that little girl? sheâs a treasure, and she refuses to see her as anything but that -- not anymore. âco-parenting is the term i think youâre searchinâ for, bruv.â
calgoodieâ:
Calum didnât go out without Callie often. Call him clingy but he missed her too much for it. But he knew that she had work to do and he also knew how distracting he could be so he figured that one drink wasnât going to kill him. One drink at the old stomping ground. A place heâd been enough times, mixed with a scene heâd experienced enough times to almost feel at home when he saw the long dark-haired girl sitting at the bar. Remembered briefly one of the last times heâd seen her there. When he showed up drunk to beg for her to take him back prior to their very last break up. He wondered if thereâd ever come a time that he didnât experience those conflicting feelings when heâd seen her. That heâd ever have to pretend there wasnât some part of him still deep down that cared for her. Call it a habit? Or perhaps call it this poly thing heâd spent so much time talking to Sadie about, but no matter how deep down he tried to bury it she was someone who was always going to matter. As well as someone who was always going to bring out the worst in him as he slid up behind her, clearly scaring the crap out of her in the process as he sat down. âI canât help getting over-excited anymore than you can help being easily terrified.â He announced as he waved the bartender down to order himself his usual. âBut now that Iâm here I think thereâs something we gotta discuss isnât there?â
Taking the glass into hand, she pulls the liquor through her lips, letting it slip down her throat as he speaks, rolling her eyes at the statement. How much longer was she supposed to do this? Carry on a conversation as if everything had been normal, that they were simply in the place theyâd been before, acting as old pals catching up, when all sheâd done was betray him. Just a little bit longer, her eyes spoke out to Callie. A little bit, but timeâs running out. âThatâs where youâre wrong, Cal-zoney, I am not easily terrified, simply jumpy.â Celeste watches as he flags down the bartender, taking the last few sips before all but choking on the last droplets, eyes widening in his response. Apparently, time ran out. âCallie told you?â The words come out just above a whisper, but sheâs studying his expression. Studying any bit she could pull from the contours of his face, but... well -- that got her nowhere except recognizing the worry that had been written across his features so many times before. âI-I was gonna tell you about it, Cal. I swear, I just -- there was never a right time, you know? It was either too soon, or too late, or too awkward or too many people -- not enough people, I just --,â she pauses her ramblings as her eyebrows knead together, lips pursing slightly as her lips press together. He should be angry, why isnât he angry? Nostrils slightly flare as she stops her words, thinking it over carefully before speaking once more. â-- wait, what is it weâre supposed to be discussing here?â
cierra ramirez on her instagram story dressed as maddy perez.
is there anything in the world you wish you could do?
âturn back time, start over â i mean, i guess. but then i think about all the shit that wouldnât have happened, so iâll go with⊠be happy. completely, totally, unconditionally just fucking thrilled, twenty-four seven.â
whatâs your favorite memory?
âMy favorite memory? Honestly the first time Hollis, Celeste, Jane, Eric, Evie and I all hung out at the pool hall. We stayed literally until that place closed. We all got really really drunk. Evie was as chaotic as ever. Hollis and I intercepted and ate every appetizer Eric ordered and left him wondering why they never arrived. Celeste and I was still getting to know each other and we sat outside and just hung out until like 5 in the morning. It was the first time the entire group really connected and itâs just a night that was really important to me.âÂ
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HONESTY HOURÂ !!
celestia | andy | luca | delaney | cordelia
seconding guessing a decision