the shoebox project sentence meme - part three
"We're all proud of you, though, very proud. Go get 'em, Hippogriff, and all that."
"Maybe you just showed up to stalk me, the way you always do?"
"That's the most physical contact they've ever had without someone getting slapped!"
"You smell like a great big confused flower, and I'm not sure if that's attractive."
"Dates are easy; bring her flowers or chocolates or a card or something, girls like that. Get all swoony in the knees."
"What have you done? You look like the cat that got at the canary."
"I love you as much as a thousand bright suns. Is your dad a baker? 'cos those are great buns."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. If you were a door, I'd slam you!"
"You've got ten minutes to get ready, _____, or I am riding for doom and destruction without you."
"I thought you might be distracted by all the glitter and forget it was me you were here with."
"I hate dating. It's the romantic equivalent of making small talk about the weather with the man who's about to give you your lottery winnings."
"You always give up on yourself. It's irritating."
"Don't know about you, ______, but some of us have friends. We call them friends; they call us friends; it's a mutual relationship in which we are friendly.
"Shut up, sit down, and don't move. We have to think, and the sound of your voice isn't helping."
"You just want to -- you just want my pants so you can run out their first and play hero, clean up all the messes, be _____ _______, the only one who can clean up the messes other people leave."
"Don't flatter yourself. You're not that fucking important."
"Please. I offer my head as a receptacle for your vomit."
"I'll kill him/her if you want. I can do that. Please say you want me to, I want to."
"Are you mad? You should be mad."
"Wait a minute. Why did you apologize?"
"You looked just like that right after you wet on the carpet."
"You always smell like dog."
"I know it kills you, but you have to understand that what we have isn't love. It's just physical."
"I'm going to pass out now."
"I think that went very well."
"Predators! Predators everywhere."
"Do my ears, huh? Scratch my ears? Could you could you could you? You're the best."
"I'm going to panic very soon. I think you should know that."
"I have your saliva in my left nostril."
"Cheer up, mate. It could be worse!"
"You're the perfect hero. With or without trousers."
"You do realize you lost me my girlfriend?"
"It's lucky for me no one else is willing to sink low enough to be your best friend."
"_____ is my vice-best friend."
"Explosions and gratuitous nudity are all you have left."
"I have faith in your great appetite for destruction and mayhem."
"I'll be in my bed, with my fingers in my ears, pretending I don't know what's happening."
"And we can call you 'Offensive Pie,' for short, which I think suits you."
"Here, there's your bloody potatoes, I hope they give you indigestion."
"Nothing you say can bring me down on this most glorious day."
"Quick. Look innocent. Now."
"Can't exactly blame me for your personal odor problems, can you?"
"I would like to be drunk."
"Honestly. What do you think of me?"
"I should have realized that all this idiocy and attempted murder was really just pulling my metaphorical pigtails."
"Haven't you had enough fun with me for one day?"
"You're disgusting. You're pathetic. You smell like a diseased monkey. I'm going to kill you."
"Who's my all-grown-up little cabbage?"
"I am no one's cabbage before ten in the morning."
"Oh sweetheart, you always notice the little things about me."
"Celebrations are an important time in a young (wo)man's life that s/he will never remember ever the morning after."
