❝ You sleeping on your feet or something? Not like you to keep everything to yourself. ❞
Well that wasn't necessarily true. Sora certainly had his moments of earnest attempts to, but it seldom got past his smarmy old pal. Much so that he was easy pickings for Riku to poke and prod, all in good humor right...? If only this time could be more like that.
Thing is, Sora had become a more open person. Earnest and unafraid. Only someone truly strong could bare their hearts to others. Much so that it seemed a bit unfair to stifle it, to avoid whatever it was that they -- all of them, really -- were thinking about but couldn't bring themselves to say. And the more Riku witnesses, the more it's clear why that is.
So, a little less teasing and a little more sincere, Riku fesses up. ❝ ... you don't have to walk on eggshells for my sake, you know. After everything. ❞
[ you brought this on yourself :| ]
He felt guilty that no measure, approach or line of wording felt right for this. In truth this was the sort of secret not even a lot of their friends were privy too, merely Donald, Goofy and the banal arches of that twisted gateway as the haunted images dance across his vision again. "I-- ah, sorry." The apology almost felt mechanical, sincere but too steeped in what's truly affecting him at this moment. It was a rare day when guilt ever had a reason to burn in his vision,.
Nonetheless he welcomes it, in some distant echoes of his Heart, it felt good to know he hadn't just dismantled that instance as the both of them being victims of circumstance. How their friendship, in all of its strengths and weaknesses were being used against each other. Soon, he'd give a steadied breath as those arms unfurl from his chest. That Heart that bore countless trials would keep itself bared in this moment too.
Something about that makes Sora thickly swallow as the rare case of nerves danced across his soul. "Riku?" For a moment, they weren't merely just wielders, or youths grown into men from Destiny Islands. This was merely Sora and Riku, and the pain etched into their shared stories. "There was a time I really thought I killed you." Somehow, drawing that dusted, festering thought from the recesses of his chest felt so damned heavy.
Yet so clear. He could remember that strained, stunned expression etched across his friend's face as a fissure of light tore through his chest. How it felt like too much, too many emotions flitted across his face, ultimately leading to the two of them staring at what just transpired. How the Keyblade found itself dropped immediately once Riku balked from the strain of it all.
Then it was that look. There was no anger, none of that vitriol that tore into them at that moment. Amidst the final hour. All he could see was that chilled clarity that shone through those hazed, seafoam eyes. How regret, shame and a sense of wanting it to end briefly flitted across Riku's expression. Time and time again, their raised arms, resolve and twisted manipulations felt like a serrated blade tearing into everything they held worthwhile.
"And how it horrified me, the thought that I'd never see you again, that I was the reason you'd never be able to experience another day." Strength merely sapped from his arms, his shoulders hunched and a sense of frustration brimming underneath the surface. Even if they did meet at the door, somehow, those thoughts twisted it that he banished his best friend there instead. Following how the Organization, knowing and others equally pained painted a new scenario?
That they were the ones responsible for possible taking Riku out?
Sora didn't know how to quite continue this line of thought. It was messy emotion, free and spilling by the second. It was another genuine reminder that the people close to him? He wasn't lying when he said they meant everything.
"I have no idea what to do with this feeling.."
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